OH, FUDGE I MUST REVISE! A memorable acronym to help students know what to do when revising Tammy D. Sutherland Shannon B. Temple www.sandtpublications.com
When revising, use the following acronym to help you remember what you can do to improve your writing. Organization (Do you have transition words?) Has variety (in sentence lengths and beginnings) Figurative language (Add it!) Underline words that can be revised. Details and examples (Add them!) Grabber (Make it better!) Edit (Read every single word, and look at every single sentence to make sure you do not have mistakes.)
OH, FUDGE! Revision Chart Name Use the following chart as you revise. Date of revision FUDGE Organization Has variety Figurative language Underline words you can change to make better. Use a thesaurus and your creative mind to help you! Revisions I made Make sure your essay or story is organized. Do you have transition words so that what you have written reads smoothly? Do you have details that do not belong? Take out any sentence that gets off of the subject. Make sure your sentences do not all begin with the same word or in the same way. Also, make sure you have variety in the length of your sentences. It matters! Find a place or places where you can add some type of figurative language. Add vivid similes! Add original metaphors! Add personification! Can you use an idiom somewhere? Underline weak verbs such as walk, run Replace them with strong verbs such as strolled, galloped Underline overused adjectives- such as good, big, little Replace them with adjectives such as terrific, gigantic, miniscule Underline phrases or sentences that can be transformed using imagery! Example: The wind blew her hair. Revision: Her chocolate brown hair whipped in wild strands across her face as the wind tore at her night gown. Details and examples Find a place where you can add details and/or examples. Add voice! Grabber See if you can make it better. Edit Check your paper for punctuation, spelling, and grammar. Find places in your essay or story that need elaboration. Add a detail, an example, a short anecdote, a fact, something funny, something to make the reader think, or something to make the reader respond. Your job as a writer is to make your reader respond in some way! Search through your paper looking for opportunities to add valuable details. The purpose of the first lines of your writing is to grab your reader s attention. Your grabber should be compelling; it should excite your reader and make him/her anxious to read what is ahead. When revising, you should always try to make your grabber a little better. As humans, we make mistakes. As writers, we make them constantly. The best writers make mistakes that must be found. Read each sentence very carefully. Check capitalization and spelling. Make sure you don t have fragments or run-ons. Pay close attention to those tricky homophones like there, their, your, you re, etc. Look long and hard, and fix every mistake!
Revise Time! Use the fudge chart to revise the following essay. Let s see how much better you can make it! Imagine eating fudge. My favorite thing to eat is fudge! First of all, my favorite thing to eat is fudge cause it is so good. The chocolaty goodness melts on my tongue as I enjoy ever ounce of it. It tastes so sweet. It have a smooth, creamy consistency Fudge is good with pecans in it, and I love it with caramel to! Also, I love fudge because it comes in many forms. There is fudge ice cream, fudge cookies, and fudge brownies to name a few. However, I think I d have to say that my very favorite form of this decadent substance is hot fudge! Hot fudge is created when fudge is heated. It turns into a liquid dream! It can then be poured on top of ice-cream, cookies, or other stuff. My grandmother makes hot fudge cake, and it is so good, it will make you want to slap your Mama!
In addition, fudge is my favorite thing to eat because it is a mood changer! Let s say I ve had a terrible day. Maybe I overslept that morning, lost my homework, stumped my toe, and tripped and fell in front of my class. All it would take is a small piece of fudge to make me forget all of my troubles! There is something about chocolate that can put me in a better mood. Make me want to sing and dance! I m not positive, but I think that has even been scientifically proven that chocolate has mood changing power. And since fudge is the number one form of chocolate, it has the power to override any bad mood. As you can see, fudge is my favorite thing to eat because it is delicious, comes in many shapes and forms, and it s a mood changer. I think I ll go find some right now. With any luck, I will be sinking my teeth into a soft piece of fudge very soon!
Teacher Notes - After practicing with the provided essay, have students use the FUDGE acronym with their own writing. We have our students write the word at the top of their rough drafts and check each letter off after revising for it in their papers. - Provide fudge striped cookies, fudge rounds, or fudge candy when revising! - On the day of standardized writing tests, provide a fudge round to each student to remind him/her to revise! Have fun!
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