Batman Tighty Whities The horrific odor quickly captivated the attention of my fellow classmates. Their judgmental eyes had already begun scanning the classroom for their next source of ridicule, like the vulture looming for prey. It had to be dream; this couldn t have been happening to me. Why did I have to listen to Tony and his stupid advice? Can you smell that? whispered Eliza, my best friend, into my ear. Yeah, totally. It must be coming from the bathroom, I mean, the door is open. I responded, almost too defensively. After years of never having an accident, the incredibly potent elephant in the room was me, and there was no escape. My brother and my favorite batman covered tighty whities had betrayed me. The mind is capable of withholding thousands of memories and facts and is easily considered the most complex of any human organ. Aside from its ability to store information, it creates emotions and individual personalities. These personalities are often influenced and shaped by the thousands of experiences that befall us every waking moment of every day. Who we are is not defined by a single moment but the collection of all moments. Millions of brain cells, called neurons, are firing and working so that thought, movement, and emotion can occur. As usual, my mother had left a small plate of bacon and eggs at my place at the table. My brother, Tony, sat next to me as we began to chat about our first days of school. He was the coolest fourth-grader I had ever met. He looked grudgingly at his plate of eggs, winked at me, and passed it under the table for Walter. I, wanting to be as cool as Tony, did the same. His words were gold. Everything he said was scripture to be written down. Tony looked at me and asked, Would you like to know all the secrets to kindergarten? Without a moment s hesitation
I nodded in vigorous affirmation. I ingested every word that streamed forth from his mouth like it was my last supper before going to the electric chair. The words of wisdom most important to this story, however, were his last, uttered so my mother couldn t hear him from the kitchen. Like a snake s hiss, he whispered, Whatever you do, don t go number two at school. That s super lame. Weighing in between two to four pounds, the brain is responsible for using twenty-five percent of every single beat of the heart. There are five distinct lobes, or regions, of the brain. All of these have their specific functions and essential responsibilities. For example, the frontal lobe controls personality, the parietal deals with reading and calculation, and the occipital holds fast to vision. If any of the lobes failed to exist or do its part, the entire human organism would collapse and die. The intricate workings between the lobes are what makes us who we truly are. Tony s words echoed between my ears as I began to feel what no one ever likes to feel. If I wanted to be like Tony, if I wanted his respect, there was only one thing I could do. Hold it. The clock moved slower than my bedridden grandpa as Mrs. Coppage read of some sea leprechaun and his adventures in the deep blue. My vision blurred as I could no longer focus on the silly leprechaun and my stomach decided it was on a fault line in Nicaragua, experiencing what seemed to be a 9.6 on the Richter scale. Apparently the sound was clearly audible, because Eliza giggled, and I, half-dying and with sweaty pudgy palms gripped together, said to her, I m starving. Nothing could ve been farther from the truth, and as I began to day-dream about soccer practice, I suddenly lost control. Failure struck my face as quickly as I knew what had just struck my britches. Death was imminent.
The brain is divided into two hemispheres: verbal and non-verbal. These two hemispheres coordinate to help categorize all information received from our surrounding and internal environments. Normally, the verbal hemisphere is also given the title dominant hemisphere. The functions include verbal processing, language, and analysis of information. While in the younger stages of life, the brain is learning and maturing and is very easily influenced by cultural, religious, and familial factors. As the brain passes through varying experiences, the human will begin to define him or herself on his or her own with less and less malleability. I rushed through the backdoor of our garage, panting. I had survived. No one had been able to tell it was me causing that putrid smell in the classroom. I had convinced Katee, my babysitter, the odor biting into our nostrils was the result of a skunk that had just happened to spray our car genius was a trait I always knew I had. Just as I rushed off to finally change my clothes, Katie yelled, Michael, no time to change! We are already late for your soccer practice, let s go! I had sworn to myself I would tell NO ONE of my filthy failure, so I had no choice but to comply and follow her out to the soccer field beside our house. Drill after drill, I ran around cones, slide tackled, all with those cursed Batman tighty whities that used to bring me such joy. What s that smell, Coach? asked every kid at one point of practice or another. My coach, who just happened to be my mom, responded, It must just be something in the lake! I had never been so grateful for a naive mother.
The hippocampus of the brain sits directly inside the temporal lobe and is a crucial part of our being. It is responsible for learning new information and transitioning temporary information into permanent personality and memory. Scientists have proven that environmental inputs have a significant impact on hippocampal activity. In other words, the events that occur to a person affect what that person will become and what he or she will remember. This is critical in the development of personalized individuals and behavioral characteristics. My grandma leans in to give me a good ol grandmotherly hug. I m so proud of you. You are going to be a great addition to the BYU legacy, she says, smiling ridiculously with her oversized dentures. We all sit around the dinner table and begin to share embarrassing stories of our past. Here it comes. My mother is going to bring up the day I soiled myself in kindergarten. Michael, do you remember when you pooped yourself trying to please Tony? That was so silly. All seven of my siblings laugh and beg for me to tell the story one last time before heading off to the airport. I m a crowd pleaser, so I do. The human brain has never ceased to amaze me. I m in college completely and utterly lost as far as a major or sense of direction. That s the purpose of college, right? We need to be influenced by experience. Every experience we go through shapes and molds our own personalities. Passing sleepless nights studying for midterms I don t get an A on, getting rejected by the most beautiful girl on campus, and feeling the weight of deciding upon my future career are just a few. It s not just the negatives that influence us though. Every moment is crucial to our development. I m not as cool as Tony, and I never will be. I like eggs, why would I give those up to our silly poodle that already eats too much? I don t wear those extremely stylish Batman
tighty whities anymore, nor have I had an accident since that day, but I tell that story to anyone who wants to hear it. It s mine to tell.