Turn Homeward, Hannahlee By Patricia Beatty Dictation passages Weeks One: Opening Lines Week One It was the crying from down below that work me up that hot night. I caught the words clear as the mill bell: No, you can t say that to me. You can t say you won t two times, Davey Reed, not again you can t! (Chapter One) This is a great way to start the month: commas, a colon, dialog punctuation, contractions and an exclamation point! Davey Reed is set off by commas because his name reinforces the you already included in the sentence. His name specifies the you to whom the speaker is speaking. A colon precedes the speech because Hannahlee is overhearing the comments (and is not engaged in conversation with the speaker). How to teach the passage: To teach this passage, I recommend focusing on each punctuation convention one at a time. Colon: Used to indicate content that is grouped together. Dialog Quotes: These are used when speech occurs in writing. Even though Hannahlee is overhearing these comments, they are still spoken and go inside the quote marks. Contractions: To help your children understand contractions, write out the complete words next to each other: cannot. Then cross out the middle letters and close the gap: can t. This works well for can t but not so well for won t. See if your kids can guess what two words are contracted to make won t. Ask them why they think willn t isn t the contraction. There s no obvious explanation except that in English (as with any spoken language), some of our spellings derive from the demands of speech. Willn t is hard to say. Somehow, the ill got impacted by the not and together collapsed into on t. Exclamation point: The exclamation point is an interesting piece of punctuation. It is often overused in informal writing (emails, instant messaging, letters). In novels, the exclamation Julie Bogart 2007 7723 Tylers Place. Blvd. #165 West Chester, OH 45069 (513) 307-1405
Turn Homeward, Hannahlee - 2 point is most often found in dialog (a true exclamation) or it is used to show drama. Expository (academic writing) does not prefer its use. So in this case, ask your kids what function the exclamation point serves and see if they can detect it. Week Two: Proper Nouns We came to the Ohio River just north of the city. Never in my life had I seen so much water in one time. This broad, slow-moving river made Vickerys Creek look like nothing at all. Boats, paddle-wheel steamers, and steamboats were moving up and down the river. Jem, Rosellen, and I stood on the shore and stared and stared across it to the other side. (Chapter 9) This passage offers some work with proper nouns, particularly places and people. We also have two uses of hyphens. Ohio River: Take a look at the Ohio River on a map. Notice its length, which states it borders. Compare what you see on the map to what is described as Vickerys Creek. Both of these are proper nouns because they are places with titles. The names, Jem and Rosellen, are also capitalized, as is the pronoun, I. How to teach the passage: There isn t a lot of tricky material in terms of punctuating this passage. Let s review the hyphen. Hyphens are used when a pair of words work together to create a singular description (when two words become one to create an adjective): slow-moving and paddle-wheel. If you take away the hyphens, the pairs of words function independently of one another and don t create the same impact on the noun. Can we say paddle steamers or moving river and mean the same things we mean when we attach the additional words with hyphens? The answer is no which is why the added specificity of an additional word gets piggybacked onto the descriptor to clarify the meaning. Week Three: The Letter Format and Misspelled Words Dear Rosellen: I found out that Davey was killed ded in a Virginny batle in September. Remember him kindly. He luvved you good. Hannibal Sanders (Chapter 9) This passage offers a rare opportunity! Your kids can first observe proper formatting for a letter and then tackle the misspellings. Letters begin with the salutation (the Dear so-and-so or To Whom it May Concern ). The body of the letter starts on the next line and is indented. The closing (which often includes Warmly or Sincerely or Love ) goes on its own line and is indented as well.
Turn Homeward, Hannahlee - 3 This letter has notable misspellings to indicate the illiteracy of the writer and the dialect: ded, Virginny, batle, luvved How to teach this passage: See if your kids can rewrite the letter using the proper format, but then correcting the misspellings themselves. It would be worth it to correct the name of the state as well as its spelling. Week Four: History One day right after General Lee surrendered, while Mama and I were sitting in the doorway of the house shelling peas for supper, we heard that President Lincoln had been shot and killed in Washington, D.C. Marilla fetched us the news from the general store. It had just come over the telegraph. (Chapter 10) I like the opportunity this passage offers to focus on the historical event of the assassination of President Lincoln. The clause while Mama and I were sitting in the doorway shelling peas for supper is surrounded by commas. If you remove this clause, the sentence still works. Show that to your kids by reading the sentence without the clause. That s one way to evaluate the use of a comma can the clause that is set off by commas be removed from the sentence and it still make sense? The other interesting idea to look at in this passage has to do with content. Notice how this description parallels the President Kennedy assassination accounts. For instance, Hannahlee remembers exactly what she was doing when she first heard the horrible news. Have your kids ask their grandparents if they can remember where they were when they heard about President Kennedy s assassination. Secondly, Beatty (author) tells us how the news came to them. The telegraph, which was fairly new technology, delivered the news to the general store and then from there, neighbors shared it with each other. In the 1960s (one hundred years later), most American heard the news through radio or television. How to teach this passage: We ve covered the comma use for the clause. There is also a comma after Washington, preceding D.C. That s standard practice and a good one to memorize. Otherwise the punctuation is straightforward. Literary Element of the Month Letter writing Because we looked at a letter in this month s issue of the Arrow, it seemed to me a good idea to teach the letter format and also how to jazz them up a bit so that your kids can continue the letter writing tradition! Unlike earlier eras, letters today can be sent digitally (electronically) over the Internet. Email is a perfectly acceptable format for a letter. Still, if you have to write a letter overland, it s nice to know how to put the writing on the page to make it conform to the letter writing conventions.
Turn Homeward, Hannahlee - 4 Dear, Start by writing a greeting, expressing interest in the recipient of your letter and stating your relative health and well-being. Follow the opening by writing an interesting paragraph that focuses on the purpose of the letter. The best bodies of letters are those that tell a story. If you are writing a thank you note, include the following key ingredients: thanks for the gift, how you are using it, and any specific anecdote that illustrates that use. The closing paragraph ought to include well wishes and any bit of trivia that might be interesting to the recipient (perhaps share some personal details about achievements, experiences or future opportunities). Indent the closing, Sign your letter by hand The most typical troubles kids face in letter writing is that they feel stumped by the size of the undefined task. They tend to think in vague terms reinforced by vague demands made by their parents. For instance, if you ask your child to write about how he feels about the toy, he will draw a blank. Happiness is a vague, philosophical word to a child. Retelling an exciting moment, however, is not. For instance, if a child is writing about a swim meet, to simply ask the child to relate how he felt at the swim meet will yield empty phrases like, I had a lot of fun at the swim meet. It was really exciting winning first place. I love to swim the butterfly. However, if you ask him to describe the race in which he wont the 50 m. butterfly and help him to recreate the experience (orally first and then in writing), your child will create a mininarrative that will help the reader to feel happy and filled with pride in reading about the event. The experience of joy that was the child s will be transferred to the reader through approximating the experience in writing. The same thing is true with thank you notes. Much better to write about how the remote controlled helicopter bounced off the walls and ceiling without any damage, than to vaguely thank the gift-giver by saying it was an awesome gift. Most letter writing ought to include some kind of personal update as well. To avoid the tendency to offer a resume achievements or a calendar of events, focus instead on direct experiences that bear sharing. For instance, if the most exciting thing in your child s life right now is ballet, pick one new ballet move that your child mastered and ask her to describe the process to learn it and perform it. The tiny detail well-described sheds more light on the whole than a generalization that vaguely points to the overall picture or experience. My ballet teacher is helping me learn how to do a grand jete (a big leap). Last week, I lined up in the corner and the music played a loud thumping song. My heart beat fast and I got all sweaty and nervous.
Turn Homeward, Hannahlee - 5 Then my turn came and I ran right, left, right, left, Leap! I nearly fell, but instead I landed on my right foot and wobbled. But only for a minute. I hope I get good enough to do one in the recital. This example is contrived, I understand. Your child may not write like this. What you want, though, are these kinds of honest observations. You can help your child to discover them through models. You can read this example or dialog with your child to help him or her investigate more closely the details of the experience. Avoid the how were you feeling? question and focus instead on what were you doing right then? Keep asking that question as you slowly unpack the more detailed experience. You can use the Keen Observation exercise questions (found on the exercises page on the Brave Writer website) to aid you in being specific. http://www.bravewriter.com/exercises/exercises.html