Thank you for auditioning for SOMETHING ROTTEN NON-UNION NATIONAL TOUR ROLE: NIGEL

Transcription

1 Thank you for auditioning for SOMETHIN ROTTEN NON-UNION NATIONAL TOUR ROLE: Initial Call please prepare: 1. I Love The Way and od I Hate Shakespeare 2. Side bars of a contemporary, comedic musical theatre song that shows the top of your range. If you are called back please prepare the full packet. INSTRUCTIONS: Be sure to bring your picture and resume, otherwise we will not have one in the room! Thanks so much! W S Casting

2 SOMETHIN ROTTEN 6/21/ START: Nigel, please. I need you, now more than ever. I ve got to go find us a new backer and that means you need to come up with a new idea. Please tell me I can count on you for that! Yes, you can. Yes, you can. (he tries to write) Uggggh, no you can t. Oh. ood day, mistress. Nick exits in a huff. MUSIC STARTS. He stands to leave and is stopped by A WOMAN IN A CLOAK (Portia). ood days were those when lit with love, till dusk of death did herald th eternal night Hey -- I wrote that. The woman turns and lowers her hood, revealing herself to be Portia. Yes, I know. (holding up a page) I accidentally took this after our first encounter. Your sonnet. It s -- perfection. Really You thought it was... good It... touched me in places I did not know could be touched. Portia suddenly realizes how that sounded, turns away - embarrassed. (CONT D) Forgive me. Poetry is forbidden in my house, especially poems of earthly love. (melodramatically; to the heavens) OH, IS THERE NO PITY IN THE CLOUDS THAT SEES INTO THE BOTTOM OF MY RIEF! Romeo and Juliet, Act 3, Scene 5. Side 1 of 2 1/4

3 SOMETHIN ROTTEN 6/21/ You ve seen it Six times. And you Eight! If my father knew, he would disown me. My brother, too. I adore Shakespeare. Me, too! I ve got a Comedy of Errors, first edition. I ve got Sonnet number 1. Signed! Wow! I know! Heh-heh... Heh-heh... I think you re his equal - if not better. They giggle together - a pause, then... What No way. Oh yes. Your sonnet has Shakespearean sophistication mixed with the complexity of Daniel Webster and the sensitivity of Samuel Daniel. 2/4

4 SOMETHIN ROTTEN 6/21/ Wow. You really love poetry. Oh, I do. I really, really do. (she sings) I LOVE SIDNEY AND MARLOWE AND OFTEN I BORROW THEIR WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL I LOVE POEMS OF MYSTERY, FANTASY, HISTORY OH WHAT SEDUCTIVE APPEAL AT NIHT, ALONE IN MY BEDROOM, SATISFYIN MY NEED THE CANDLELIHT FIRE INITES MY DESIRE - TO READ OHHHHH EVERY TIME I HEAR A PERFECT RHYME I ET ALL TINLY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT TO FIND A PERFECT RHYME IS NOT AN EASY THIN-LY I LOVE THE PLACES THAT WORDS LET ME O I LOVE THE WAY THAT YOUR WORDS MOVE ME SO (moving closer, facing him) NO WORDS HAVE TOUCHED ME THE WAY THAT YOURS DO AND I LOVE (CONT'D) Youuuuuuu are really doing something to me, Mr. Poetry Man. Forgive me. I never get to discuss poems in this way. It s okay. I never knew poetry could affect someone the way it affects me. Me neither. (singing) IT S THE END ALL THE BE ALL OH YOU OUHTA SEE ALL THE BOOKS THAT I HAVE ON MY SHELF Me, too! (singing) I FIND PLEASURE PERUSIN THOSE WRITINS AND MUSINS SO OFTEN I PLEASURE MYSELF WAIT, THAT DIDN T SOUND RIHT NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WHEN I M DEEP IN THE THROES OF IMPASSIONATE PROSE - I COULD SCREAM 3/4

5 SOMETHIN ROTTEN 6/21/ A. You scream So do I! (singing) OH... I LOVE A LILTIN LINE OF LYRICAL ALLITERATION WHO DOESN T LOVE ALLITERATION AND THEN I M LIKE WHOA... WHEN THE PHRASES COME TOETHER LIKE A CONSUMMATION WHAT SWEET ELATION! / I LOVE THE PLACES THAT WORDS LET ME O I LOVE THE WAY THAT YOUR WORDS MOVE ME SO I LOVE THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY I DO AND I LOVE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE, YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE... Me, too. (CONT D) Okay, I want to show you something. APPLAUSE as they stand there awkward. He reaches into his pants - then pulls out a piece of paper. (CONT D) I keep it hidden from my brother. It s a letter. To me. From the Bard. Saying he has received my sonnet. You sent him a sonnet And he s read it Well, he said he would. You know him!! Um, kinda sorta. He was in the same acting troupe as my brother, but I was just a kid then. It s not like he knows who I am or anything. MESSENER Master Nigel Bottom END 4/4

6 SOMETHIN ROTTEN Side 2 of 2 6/21/ Wow. I guess a guy can only wait so long. Nigel points. THE HAARD YPSY WOMAN has stepped in front of Portia. Not her. Her. The gypsy woman moves away revealing Portia -- who is standing next to BROTHER JEREMIAH. A Puritan! IS Are you mad DO YOU KNOW WHO HER FATHER START: Jeremiah walks through the market flanked by and OTHER PURITANS as they pass out leaflets and he preaches liked a crazed street evangelist. BROTHER JEREMIAH Brethren, I say unto thee... the theaters are a scourge upon our land! Where men dress as women and kiss other men. I have seen it myself and it did stiffen my... resolve! (is he getting aroused) For such sinful role-play is the gateway to lustful desires and fantasies of the flesh! You really want that guy giving a speech at your wedding reception BROTHER JEREMIAH (as he s exiting) Let not thy sacred soul be poisoned by the playwrights and poets whose dark invention diverts simple minds from the one true book...(before exiting, to his men) C mon, boys. He pulls Nigel away, not noticing that he is still staring at Portia. She throws him one last glance before she exits. Forget about her. It ll never work. Now listen. You know the big idea we re looking for Well, I ve got it. You have 1/3

7 SOMETHIN ROTTEN 6/21/ Yes. Now, I want you to listen with an open mind because it s a bit radical. Okay. What is it (painting it in the sky) A MUSICAL. (Nigel looks confused) It s a play with songs -- but the songs advance the plot and develop character as they seamlessly segue from dialogue into singing. That...is...the most...amazing idea. Nigel thinks about it for a beat. Yeah It s brilliant actually. How better to express the inner longings of the human soul than with music And you re always writing songs on your lute. I already dusted it off and started banging out a few tunes. And all those poems of yours -- there s your lyrics! Wow. It s perfect for us. How did you come up with this (quickly diverting question) You know, that doesn t matter. But this is good, right Yeah. A MUSICAL. I love it. We just need to figure out what it s about. I still say we should tell our... 2/3

8 SOMETHIN ROTTEN 6/21/ Please don t say two brothers from Cornwall. But why not I think we should just write something emotionally true, something from the heart. No! We need to think bigger. Was the Bible written from the heart Well, I would hope so. Okay, it probably was but my point is - Matthew, Mark, Luke Those writers were writing about an event. Something big, epic, world-changing. (suddenly hit with an idea) I ve got it! Yes! Why didn t I think of this before What! The most significant historical event in the last thousand years! END LIHTS OUT on them, up on their troupe who appear on the stage behind them. 3/3

9 22 TROUPE: Song 1 of 2 n n -4-3-od, I Hate Shakespeare Ó a : J His Don't be a pe - nis, the man is a gen - ius. a Don't be a pe - nis, the man is a gen - ius.. j D/F n E m. j + /D 24 Waltz, in 1 h.=56 START: : gen - ius is he's fool - ing all of you! But he's 4 3 C. j B 4 3 E B brill - iant, what maj - e - sty J 28 flows from his 29 pen. His. E/. A. F /A. B 2

10 30 : od, I Hate Shakespeare po - e - try soars like a sweet vi - o - lin. od's /B. C m... A maj7. A/B. 34. J own in spi ra - tion like light - ning doth 37 strike him, and he. E 2/. A 2. B 2. C m2 38 cap - tures my 39. soul! 40 END : Jesus, you sound just like him! : Really Thanks U. 4 A maj7 U. 4

11 -5-7-I Love The Way : Youuuuuu are really doing something to me, Mr. Poetry Man. Forgive me. [O] U U START: A m : I never get to discuss poetry in this way. : It's okay. I never knew poetry could affect someone the way it affects me. : Me neither /B U. UC.. : J. It's the A m /B C A m7 /B C> F 2 end all the... be all oh... A m7 you ought to. /B see all the. C 2 books that... 2 I have on my... A m7

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14 : 137 b I Love The Way when the phra-ses come to - ge-ther like a con-sum - ma - tion... f b fl C 7 fl. C/F cresc. n F sweet e - la - A m7/d. tion.. : I love the rhap - so - dic rhy - thm of rhyme I love the sen - su - al : I love it too. f... A m7.... /B... C A m J son - nets sub - lime I love the way that all po e try speaks to my I love the way all po - e - try speaks to my n 2/B... C A m7.... /B... C..

15 : I Love The Way Ó. souḷ :.. soul. D 7sus. F j.. j BOTH: f I love the pla - ces that.. A m7... words let me.. 2/B.. go C 2.. I love the.. 2/D.. way that your.. A m7/e N: P 167 j 168 j 169 n words move me.. so I love that.. you feel the.. same way I.. D/F A m C.. 2. A m.. /B.

16 -10-7-I Love The Way BOTH: n do n.. F/C.... C.... p and p I. /D... love. D.... you know that I.... love.. you know that. I.. /C.. D A m9....

17 -11-7-I Love The Way love. D a tempo p A m rit. 190 /B 191 : Me too. U. P C U U. p U. 193 END.