APPENDIX A. CBSC Decision 11/ CFNY-FM re the Dean Blundell Show (Easter)

Transcription

1 APPENDIX A CBSC Decision 11/ CFNY-FM re the Dean Blundell Show (Easter) The Dean Blundell Show is CFNY-FM s (102.1 The Edge, Toronto) morning show, which airs weekdays from 5:30 to 10:00 am. It contains the usual songs, news, traffic and weather updates, and banter between the hosts, Dean Blundell, Todd Shapiro and Derek Welsman. On April 2, 2012 beginning at approximately 7:35 am, the following conversation took place between the hosts: I got an , I gotta read this to you. I got an from some guy this weekend. Um, oh, I had so much fun in him back too. It was so funny. Did you get in one, like, a good little debate or? No, there s no, you can t debate with a guy named... well, I can t read you his name. [Shapiro & Welsman chuckle] Dean, this is you ll like this Hey Dean, one of your shows you mentioned the possibility that Jesus was gay. I hope someone cuts your throat and cuts your tongue out, you fat, f-ing pig. Burn in hell, you fat, f-ing pig. Come on. Is he representin the Christians here? I don t know. [Welsman & Shapiro laugh] So I ed him. I go, Marco, are you gay? [Shapiro laughs] Or maybe a bigoted dickhead. Go away. Dean. Cause I do people back. As much as I can anyway. Um, watch your back and then he uses the, the derogatory gay slur for a gay person that starts with an F. Oh, so he s, ha! Watch your back Mm hm? F lover. What a jerk. Watch your back, F lover. I didn t think it was such a bad hypothesis. That Jesus may be gay? I don t think it was either. Do you have any Jesus music? Some kind of religious music? Maybe some humming or I don t know, Gregorian chants? 1

2 2 Just some Pet Shop Boys. You re just throwin it out there. Pet Shop Boys! [Blundell & Shapiro laugh] Creed, do you have any Creed? Um, well, think about it like this. And, and, and keep in mind, folks, that I say this all because I don t know. My brother s a reverend. My parents, my dad just got back from a missionary trip in, uh, in India. And so did my, my brother. My sister, my whole family loves the Lord. So, you know, I, I m speaking from a very serious perspec- [bell music starts playing; Shapiro laughs] man in background: It said church music. Oh there we go. It ll pick up. It starts with bells, that s okay. All right, all right. [music continues to play in background] That s nice. And, for the record, I don t agree with what you re about to say either, but it doesn t matter. Oh! But it s funny. Oh, it s funny though. It makes me laugh. Jesus had a sense of humour. And people don t know. No. You re just throwin it out there. But Wait a second. If I was, if I knew, if my dad told me [imitates supposed voice of God] Son, you re going to die a terrible death. Today is your last day. Have dinner with whoever you want. Who do you want it to be? If it were me Yeah? If I were the Jesus, I wouldn t go [effects effeminate voice] thirteen guys, man! [all laugh] And one that doesn t actually like me!

3 3 [all laugh] [effects effeminate voice] Just to make me feel a little dangerous. You know what I m sayin? God in heaven? I m lookin to have pita and hummus with thirteen fellas. And I m lookin to wash their feet too. That d be so sweet. I got a real foot thing. How do you know Jesus wasn t a gay dude with a foot thing? Hmm. And while we re eating we re going to have somebody paint us. What is this, [?] music, what is this? Yeah, I know. This doesn t really... You re an idiot. [Welsman laughs] A hymn. H-Y-M-N, hymn. Church hymn. Rock of Ages or something. Yeah, or I Surrender All or... Blah, blah, home. [sings in silly voice] My blessed saviour. Anyway. What, that s more feasible. If you think about the way life is. You think about the way humanity is today. It is more feasible for me to believe that Jesus H. Christ, what s his middle name, again? Herbert? No. Jesus Herbert Christ had a thing for dudes and feet. And the day, the last day he spent in this earthly fold, he was washing feet and eating pita bread with a bunch of fellas. [Shapiro laughs] Are you kidding? [all laugh] You never know. Do I have to explain it? What a great time to have a foot fetish when they didn t even have shoes. [effects effeminate voice] Ooh, these sandals are [?]. Yeah, I can t even imagine what s under those straps. [all laugh] You tease! [effeminate voice] You and your closed, closed-toe shoes! Oh! Oh, look at him walking on water. Mm. [effeminate voice] Moist feet. Oh, they re so wet! [Blundell & Welsman laugh] Oh, they re so wet! [laughing] Oh my god.

4 4 Just his feet are wet. Oh! [effeminate voice] It makes me happy. You, John? I don t know. [effeminate voice] Where s Peter? I am ready. Oh, he s building a Catholic church in Rome. [Welsman laughs] And what was up with Mary? Town bike. [all laugh] But did he, he didn t want a piece? Who, Mary Magdalene or his mom? No, the, Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene. The whore. Oh, dude, she was a total whore. But did Jesus have a piece? Sure he did! She was in the picture, dude! Okay, I don t know! I m just sayin! She was the fluff girl. Okay. [all laugh] Oh, Jesus! Jesus s fluff girl. Did you just say Jesus? [all laugh] I m just protecting myself. Saying Jesus. From the lightning bolt. No. No, listen. God has a sense of humour and he would understand that in this day and age you d be, if someone told you that story about how this guy came down from some other planet or, or the clouds And lived 33 years and did all kinds of manual labour and, and, and, and never got married and the last thing he did before he, and he knew he was going to die! Mm. [effeminate voice] Have a little hummus and pita with the fellas.

5 5 You said hummus, right? [effeminate voice] That s right. Okay. Anything you want, what do you want to do? [effeminate voice] Hummus and pita with the fellas. And I m really interested in washing some feet. big time. Hum, humm-ass. Whose? All of their feet. Every foot in the place. [all laugh] Draw the water. Get me a sponge. Did they have loofahs? Let me get on my knees. [laughs] Loofahs. Did they have loofahs back in the Christ days? For the exfoliating, what? [all laugh] Jesus created exfoliation? You are right. [all laugh] Camel hair blankets. What do you want to do before you go? Give these guys a foot makeover, Paint their nails. Maybe that was it. Maybe he s not gay. Maybe he wanted to be like one of those, maybe he was like a, like an amateur podiatrist. [laughs] Amateur podiatrist. You don t know. We weren t around. It was 2000 years ago. He s the original shoe-shine guy. There were just no shoes. [all laugh] [effects funny voice] Hey, Mister! He just shined the feet. [all laugh]

6 6 Yeah, maybe he was. Who knows? I prefer to stay with gay though. [Shapiro laughs] Cause if I had a choice to spend a night with thirteen babes, eating hummus and pita bread with thirteen dudes, I am not hanging out with the fellas. And I wouldn t go with the hummus either. No. I wouldn t choose that. I d go with, like, a brisket. [Shapiro & Welsman laugh] Last meal? [effeminate voice] Hummus. Somethin a little less gassy and less garlicky. Yeah, it s hard to make out with guys. [all laugh] Hard to make out with all those guys when you re garlicky. But he musn t ve been that exciting cause they just kept fallin asleep. I know. And then how much of a stooge did he feel like afterwards where they denied him three times before the rooster crowed. I know, it s, like, Guys! Guys, do you know him? Do you know that guy? Pfft. Never met him before in my life, but he couldn t stop washing our feet. [all laugh] [crows like a rooster] Served a brutal hummus. What s that part of the story? With the rooster? Oh, you didn t know that? No. Yeah, like, Jesus told, uh, told, I think it was Peter Peter. Yeah? Would deny him three times. He would, like, he would deny knowing him three times Huh.

7 7 as he was going to get arrested for being the Christ, right? So, uh, folks, Before the cock crowed. Before the, the, uh, the cock crowed. So the rooster crowed three times. And he denied him three times and then the rooster crowed and he s like, Oh, I forgot Jesus told me I was going to deny him! Crap, he said I was going to do that! Oh. But I think, I think Peter was more like Did that guy wash your feet? He s like, Noooo. I did it myself. [effects funny voice] You sure he didn t give you guys, like, manis and pedis? Pfft. I don t know that guy. Like, look at him, he s a weirdo. know him? That s why I denied him. [all laugh] Don t you know that guy with the foot fetish? He s protecting his own rep, is that what he s doin? Yeah, he s like, Isn t that guy a weirdo over there, eh? Don t you Forget it. [all laugh] Time for traffic. The discussion about Jesus continued after a break. guy. Hi. Time for listener . And some open phones. This guy, this George Who ed you? The guy was like I was offended by the chanting in your, in your song. [sighs] Earlier we were talkin about how it s Easter and Jesus spent his last day with, like, thirteen guys, washing their feet. It s pretty homoerotic. It is. So I ask these questions. Maybe there was more going on, uh, with the disciples than we thought. Maybe Jesus had a thing. I don t know. to it. Cause Derek disagreed. Well, you don t know. Wholeheartedly. Well, Derek disagrees wholeheartedly. [Shapiro chuckles] And he s entitled But, I mean, you can have fun with it. But you re not offended by it?

8 8 Yeah, it s just, it s, it s an idea. You It s, could ve happened. It could ve. Who knows? You put a question mark at the end of it. A lot of stuff could ve happened back in the day. So, it s like the sacrilege when people say, uh, Jesus may have had sex with Mary Magdalene. And you go Oh, really? Well, I m that religion, so you can t offend me and I m coming to get you. Now, I m going to read you this Dean, I just got off the phone with you. As stated earlier, I d like to consider myself an easy-going and fun person with a good sense of humour, but as a Greek Orthodox Christian no, not born-again I found it extremely offensive you played Greek Easter Orthodox [Shapiro groans] music, uh, this close to Easter while calling Jesus gay. That was the first thing Awesome. Shaprio: that came up on On YouTube. on YouTube, right? That, that, yeah. Just a pointer. Try to screen what you are playing. P.S. I wonder why you haven t played any Muslim chants with that Middle Eastern accent as Mohammed or General Muslim. Sounds pretty cowardly. You know what I love about this? And I just, I just sent this guy an back. Tries to make it right for an-eye-for-an-eye argument. Oh my god. Well, just the, the supreme hypocrisy in what he s sayin. I said, uh, he said I was cowardly for, for playing the Greek Orthodox music because it offended him. I didn t go after the Muslims too, he said. I said What s cowardly is asking me not to use Greek Orthodox chanting cause it happens to be your religion. However, Dean, feel free to go after any other religion cause that would make him laugh. Rethink what you re offended by and either have someone more objective or smarter than you craft an and try again tomorrow, or just grow up. People pick and choose what to be offended by. Mm hm. [effects funny voice] Oh, I m Greek Orthodox and that happened to have some Greek Orthodox chanting, so I m going to, oh, I m going to be offended. Da, da, da, da. Cause I m going to pick and choose what I m going to be offended by. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I

9 9 should be. I should stand up, oh. Stand up for nothing. [Welsman grunts] Don t take anything personally and you ll be just fine the rest of your life. Thank god he didn t play Justin Bieber music in the background, man. Yep. You know how many people would ve been offended? Yeah, he wouldn t ve heard the end of it. [all laugh] You know how many guys out there would be callin in going [effects effeminate voice] Stop that. Stop that! Hi, The Edge. Hello? caller Jeremy: Jeremy: Jeremy: Jeremy: Jeremy: Jeremy: though. Jeremy: Jeremy: Good morning, guys. Hey. How are you? Good. Who s this? It s Jeremy. Hm. Hw re Jeremy. What s up, dude? Everybody at work loves you guys. We always listen. Where do you work? I m an electrician. You re an electrician. An electrician. Okay. Say hi to the electricians for us. So, uh, but there s a general thing that they don t like about your show, What s that? It s the music. You play over and over again the same songs. Yeah, we know. Okay. It s not, we don t, we don t really pick it.

10 10 Jeremy: That s the complaint that most people have. But, other than that, it s amazing. Thanks, dude. Thanks, buddy. Appreciate your call. Have a great day, man. You ever zap yourself? I wanted to ask him if he ever zaps himself. What a, what a tough line of work. An electrician? Of course. I want to know what his worst, I wish you didn t hang up on him so quickly. [all laugh] female caller: disciples. Chances are there are other electricians listening too. Hi, The Edge. Hi. I just wanted to comment on how Jesus could ve had relations with his Yeah? How could he have had relations with his disciples, that Jesus? female caller: Um, if he did have relations with his, um, disciples then our religion has to change. Because we re so against, um, un-, like, um, together with relationships. And I think that we would need to re-evaluate the whole Catholic system. [laughs] Thank you. You re gettin deep. Thank you for that. No, not really. No. [all laugh] Uh huh. [whispers] I totally don t even know what she said. I think she was sayin male caller#1: Just, like, totally, like. Hi. Hi. male caller#1: I just wanted to say, earlier, that I really am complaining about what you re saying about Jesus Christ being gay because back in the day, what he was wearing. It was awful! Like, look at those sandals. I mean [hosts laugh]. That s not cool. And I don t think [more laughter]. Dude, he s goin with the, uh, like the, the easy look, kinda.

11 11 male caller#1: The easy access look. No, no. It s, it s just appalling! He can t wear that in public! [hosts laugh] So how do you think Jesus should ve dressed? male caller#1: I don t know. Like, a technicolour dreamcoat would ve been, like, much more appropriate. [hosts laugh] Joseph did that already. I appreciate your input. Thanks for that. Have a great day. [hosts laugh] Wow. [effect effeminate voice] I am offended that you would say Jesus was gay cause he was a terrible dresser! male caller#2: Okay. Hi, The Edge. Uh, hi. Hi, how s it goin? Good. You? male caller#2: Pretty good. Uh, I just had a comment about, uh, I guess, the Catholic school board. And if, uh, people have a problem with the Catholic school system or really, like, -- I don t, why are they talkin about, no, Why, why why... male caller#3: male caller#3: male caller#3: male caller#3: we can t talk about the Catholic school system. Hi, The Edge. Hi, how re you doin today? Good. What s up? No too much. Is this Wha Happened? Nope. Oh, it s not Wha Happened? today? No. It s whatever. Oh. Whatever? [giggles]

12 12 male caller#4: buddy. Hi, The Edge. [hosts laugh] He won. [he & Welsman laugh] Hi, The Edge. He won at whatever. What s up? Not much. Listen, like, I m from the Hammer. We got an epidemic here, What is it? male caller#4: And not the kind you re thinkin about either. I know there s a lot of people with rotten teeth and small [?] and whatnot. male caller#4: male caller#4: head. male caller#4: over. male caller#4: Dirty babes? You got some dirty babes down there? Oh yeah, but they re everywhere. All right. Check out the chick that just called in from Toronto no doubt. Bit of a dull So what s your epidemic? Huge epidemic, guys. It s called e-bikes. I m going to [?] one of these pricks Oh! These are the guys that are on bikes that are electric-powered that think Yeah! -- that they re a hybrid between Oh yeah! -- like, a guy on a bicycle. It s true. I heard you re technically allowed drinking on those things! No, you re not. But tech-, you are allowed to drink on those things. The e- bikes, correct me if I m wrong, dude. These guys seem to think they have the best of both worlds. male caller#4: That s right. And so they take up space everywhere and it pisses everybody off. male caller#4: Bingo. Yep. And they ride around smoking their pie-holes. They re not wearin any helmets, no protective gear and takin up the whole damn lane!

13 13 Mm. Yeah, they re bikes. They re not, they re not, they re meant to be pedalled. Like, they should be in bike lanes. male caller#4: Well, that s the catch, eh? They put pedals on these goddamn things. I m sick of them. [hosts laugh] silly on them. caller Hunter: Hunter: Yeah, I m sick of them. I m sick of them too. I, that and you just look pretty They re electric mopeds. Hi, The Edge. Hey, how s it goin, Dean? Good. What s up? Hunter. Yeah, buddy. Hey, what s shakin? Hunter: Uh, you know, my favourite way of learning the Easter story is actually through a gay porno that tells the life of Jesus Christ. Hunter: Is there a gay porn that tells the life of the Lord? [Shapiro snickers] Yes, there is. Which one is it? Hunter: Uh, I can t remember the name of it. I m at work right now so I can t look it up on the computer. Hunter: Hmm. And what s the premise of the story? Well, I can probably figure it out if it s a gay porn. Uh, yeah, basically he just bangs all the disciples. [hosts laugh] The many temptations of Christ. Sounds like a long Judas gets spanked a lot. Sounds like a long movie.

14 14 It does. [hosts laugh] Oh, just get to the end! [more laughter] Resurrection. And, you know, I got an from somebody earlier too. I know Easter s coming up this weekend. But, you know, if anyone today rose from the dead, they d be considered zombies and, and have their heads smashed in with lead pipes. Like the, you know, if you put the whole rising from the, I know it s a nice story and it s a good holiday and the kids. But I gave my kids their candy yesterday. I gave them, we did a little Did you? I did an Easter egg hunt. Yeah, because I m not going Oh, you won t see them on Yeah, yeah. I thought you were just trying to make your own holiday. No. Oh, okay.