Sample assessment instrument and student responses. Extended response: Written imaginative Othello

Transcription

1 Extended response: Written imaginative Othello This sample is intended to inform the design of assessment instruments in the senior phase of learning. It highlights the qualities of student work and the match to the syllabus standards. Dimensions assessed Understanding and responding to contexts Understanding and controlling textual features Creating and evaluating meaning Assessment instrument The response presented in this sample is in response to an assessment task Context In this unit, you have read and analysed a Shakespearean play and have explored the ways that Elizabethan ideas, attitudes and values are represented in the text. In particular, you have focused on representations of religion, social hierarchies (including the Great Chain of Being), race and love, and how Elizabethan and contemporary audiences might be influenced by the play. Dimension two Task Adopt the role of a character from a Shakespearean play. Write an to another character which fills a gap in the original text. You will need to use ideas, attitudes and values appropriate to the context in which your letter is written in order to influence your audience. You should use relevant aesthetic and textual features to achieve your purpose and may use quotations from the play to support your creation of character. You may choose to set your narrative at the conclusion of the play, prior to the play or at a point in the play which has significance for your character. Clear directions regarding Genre: Epistolary narrative (personal letter containing an embedded narrative) Dimension three Role: Student as character from a Shakespearean play Audience: Recipient of letter Purpose: To create, to represent Opportunities to demonstrate Dimension one are provided Length: words 14843

2 Instrument-specific standards matrix While the instrument provided opportunities to demonstrate the standards A E, this student response has been matched to Standard B and Standard C. For more information about the syllabus dimensions and standards descriptors, see assessment.html. The on-balance judgments for this response are found on p. 5 Making judgments within dimensions. Standard B Standard C Understanding and responding to contexts Understanding and controlling textual features Creating and evaluating meaning effective control of genre patterns and conventions of an to achieve specific purposes effective selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant subject matter to support establishment and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient. control of a range of grammatically accurate language structures to achieve effects, including clauses and sentences effective use of cohesive devices to develop and maintain ideas and connect parts of the, including paragraphing effective use of a range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes effective use of features to achieve effects: effective manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the epistolary narrative and influence audiences effective creation of and representations of concepts, identities, times and places effective use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an epistolary narrative. use of genre patterns and conventions of an to achieve purposes selection, sequencing and organisation of relevant subject matter to support establishment and maintenance of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient. use of a range of mostly grammatically accurate language structures to achieve purposes, including clauses and sentences use of cohesive devices to link ideas and connect parts of the, including paragraphing use of suitable vocabulary for purposes suitable use of features to achieve purposes: appropriate use of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the and influence audiences creation of and representations of concepts, identities, times and places use of aesthetic features to achieve purposes in an. The Creating meaning objectives of Dimension three are assessed. Students are creating meaning in their own text (an ), not evaluating the meaning in Shakespeare s play. Page 2 of 6

3 Student response Standard B & C The annotations show the match to the instrument-specific standards. Comments use of genre patterns and conventions of an to achieve purposes Via Forte Marghera, Mestre, Venice. Friday, October 24, Comments Dear Beloved Brother, Gratiano, selection, sequencing and organisation of relevant subject matter to support creation of and representations of concepts, identities, times and places (representations of individuals and groups reflect some attitudes and values of Shakespearean times) In order to end any assumptions that may have risen over the past few days, I write to you to inform you of the true course of events which have taken place in our once-fair city. I know we have been slow to speak with one another in the past, but I admit, I write to seek your counsel. It brings me great grief to report that your one and only niece, the beautiful Desdemona, is dead. Lest you be unduly alarmed, I must clarify. Desdemona does still walk the earth in body, and as I write, is set sail to Cyprus with her husband. Her husband, Gratiano! No, not Roderigo, as predicted, but the Moor, Othello. You must be aghast at how quickly these foul matters have arisen, so let me seal the gaps for you. My story begins last Monday, the morning after feast of Galliano. I must admit to enjoying too much of the senate s hospitality the evening before and so to awake to the distressing cries of the roosters outside and the sun s glare striking my eyes as if they were the target of the most skilled archers in all Venice, put me in a foul mood straight away. I lingered in my bed, trying to quell the feelings that the day ahead would prove to be turbulent. I have lived long enough to know that challenges are inevitable. As I ascended the freezing stone stairs to warm myself beside the fireplace, my senses were sparked by the harmony of gorgeous aromas and perfumes. I realised the source of this wonderful scent was my pride and joy, the jewel of Venice, my heavenly daughter, Desdemona. To this day, I still find it hard to believe that such a beauty called me father. If only I had been more open to conversation with her, Gratiano, then she may have found it easier to seek me as a confidante. I admit, I was a strict father schooling her in expected and right behaviour and ideas, but I always loved her. I couldn t help a cavernous feeling of euphoria as she smiled and rose to greet me. I knew at that moment that if anything were to happen to her, I would truly have a feeling of emptiness and grief as if I were being carried away by fallen angels. Little did I know, Gratiano that in only two nights time, the dream would soon become a nightmare. effective use of a range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes use of cohesive devices to link ideas and connect parts of the epistolary narrative, including paragraphing use of aesthetic features to achieve purposes in an Page 3 of 6

4 Comments selection, sequencing and organisation of relevant subject matter to support establishment and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient. I had retired to bed when I was roused by a shout from the street below. Iago, along with Roderigo, informed me of the most terrible news: my sweet Desdemona had married with a Moor; indeed, the centre of attention these past weeks, Othello. I considered this saying a blasphemy: my daughter, in love with such a man? It could only be the devil manipulating her young and innocent soul. Witchcraft practised on her by this wheeling stranger could be the only explanation. Gratiano, I welcomed him to my home, and this is how he returns my hospitality? I raced into the streets to confront the foul abuser and finding Othello armed, I drew my sword. Othello begged me to stop and so I confronted him. I accused him of casting spells upon my sweet Desdemona and abusing her with drugs to make her love him. I swear to you Gratiano, had not Othello been summoned to the Duke at that very moment, I would have had his head. At the Sagittary, I knew that my fellow senators would agree with my outrage at this most appalling match. But alack! The Moor s tales of woe and wisdom fooled them all and even the Duke said that such a tale would win even his daughter. I ordered that Desdemona be fetched to declare that she has been fooled and Othello agreed that if she said that were true, he would pay the price with his life. The wretched girl! She declared that she preferred Othello to me! I had no choice but to declare her dead. With God as my witness, Gratiano, may she rot in hell for disobeying me and giving her heart to one so undeserving. Quite evidently, I suppose, you now truly understand my problem and perhaps feel at least a whisker of empathy for me. Gratiano, you must understand how I feel. Desdemona, to whom I have provided both life and education, has cast me off for one so unworthy. As you know, to this point, you have never guided me on the wrong path and have always settled me on the most beneficial direction. My brother, I beg of you, use your connections around the city limits to discover if Desdemona was really influenced by deceitful alchemists, so that her declarations of love and loyalty to the Moor can be declared void. If it be proved that Desdemona has truly chosen this path of her own free will, ignoring me in the process, then I will have no option but to disown her. I await your counsel. Comments use of aesthetic features to achieve purposes in an appropriate use of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the and influence audiences (attitudes about gender, class and family used to influence recipient of letter) control of a range of grammatically accurate language structures to achieve effects, including clauses and sentences Your brother, Brabantio. Page 4 of 6

5 Making judgments within dimensions Student responses have been matched to the instrument-specific standards matrix. On-balance judgment is of a Standard C across the three dimensions. Standard B Standard C Understanding and responding to contexts Understanding and controlling textual features Creating and evaluating meaning effective control of genre patterns and conventions of an to achieve specific purposes effective selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant subject matter to support establishment and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient. control of a range of grammatically accurate language structures to achieve effects, including clauses and sentences effective use of cohesive devices to develop and maintain ideas and connect parts of the, including paragraphing effective use of a range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes effective use of features to achieve effects: effective manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the epistolary narrative and influence audiences effective creation of and representations of concepts, identities, times and places effective use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an epistolary narrative. use of genre patterns and conventions of an to achieve purposes selection, sequencing and organisation of relevant subject matter to support establishment and maintenance of role of the letter writer and relationship with recipient. use of a range of mostly grammatically accurate language structures to achieve purposes, including clauses and sentences use of cohesive devices to link ideas and connect parts of the, including paragraphing use of suitable vocabulary for purposes suitable use of features to achieve purposes: appropriate use of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin the and influence audiences creation of and representations of concepts, identities, times and places use of aesthetic features to achieve purposes in an. Key: Dimension one Dimension two Dimension three Note: Colour highlights have been used in the table to emphasise the qualities that discriminate between the standards. Page 5 of 6

6 Acknowledgments The QCAA acknowledges the contribution of MacGregor State High School in the preparation of this document. Page 6 of 6