"One more thing," said Alexandra. "Can you autograph this book for me?" "Sure," said Bendiana. "Anyone else?" "LEAVE!" screamed the furious Tsar.

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2 "One more thing," said Alexandra. "Can you autograph this book for me?" Bendiana was in Ekaterinburg, right after saving the Tsar family from a bunch of Bolsheviks. "Sure," said Bendiana. "Anyone else?" "LEAVE!" screamed the furious Tsar. Bendiana and Potato ran away, and eventually reached Potato's private jet. "Hop in, sir Potato!" he shouted, eager to escape the now war-ridden country. Potato, somehow a licensed pilot, started the jet's engines. In the distance, both of them could hear the Romanovs playing with each other. "You're a potato! No, you're a potato! What's a potato?"

3 Bendiana heard this, and turned to ask his old friend a question that he probably should have asked him when they met. "Why is our situation so weird?" he said. "I mean, you're the only potato in the world that can talk, and I'm the only person in the world who keeps being in such unusual circumstances!" "Potato," said Potato. "And why was everyone attacking at me from every direction? Why is evil bob so popular? How does Brandon Crew make any sense? Why is Ben Walsh so awesome? These questions... they just don't have answers, you know what I mean?" "Carrot!" "Exactly! Wait... carrot? But you're a-" "Ahead!"

4 Bendiana looked up to see a giant carrot aircraft heading right at them. Was it an aircraft? It looked more like a missile to him. Before either of them could jump out, the carrot slammed into their jet, flinging them into the air. The carrot then exploded, and the force of THAT bounced them even higher into the air! "See what I mean?" Bendiana said. "This just doesn't make any sense!" But Bendiana stopped talking, as he was not flying upwards anymore, nor falling downwards, he was... floating? He looked around, and realized that he was in space. No sense, Bendiana thought. Struggling to breath, Bendiana grabbed his whip, and whipped it in a throwing motion down towards earth, hoping to grab something. The whip fell, and fell, and fell. Then, he felt it grab on to something! Before he knew it, he was soaring through the stratosphere. The friction of ripping through it so fast set him on fire! Nearing the surface, he realized that he had to land in water in order not to burn alive! He shaped his body into a diving position, and closed his eyes, hoping for the best. He felt the impact of hitting something hard. Had he slammed into the face of the Earth?

5 No, he had landed into an indoor swimming pool! Wait, an indoor swimming pool? Floating to the top on his back, opening his burnt eyes, he could see the smashed roof, and he could hear screaming kids. Not only was the roof smashed, there was an asteroid that was following him in! Wait, that was no asteroid- "Potato!" Bendiana screamed, as the vegetable slammed right next to him, splashing even more water all over the place. Back in Russia, the Romanov's playing was being done to Rosie, who they had unknowingly left behind. tree. "Who's a potato?" they shouted, as they tied Rosie to a "Why am I being tied to a tree?" said Rosie. "We want to know more about Bendiana!" said Maria. "Why didn't you ask him directly?"

6 "Well, he sort of had a gun and stuff..." "Why did you threaten him right after asking your father not to kill him?" "Enough!" screamed Olga. "We're asking the questions here, miss!" "Seriously! Why did you do that?" " "We weren't going to shoot him!" blurted Anastasia. "We- "What were you going to do? Throw it at him? 'I'm Bendiana Jones, and I got defeated by a bunch of girls who threw a gun at my face!' It makes no sense! Why doesn't anything make any sense?" At this last sentence, the Tsar stood up. "Let me tell you a story," he said.

7 Long ago, there was a highly inventive man named Lowell Jones. He had invented many things, that would later go on to be a fridge, an oven, and most importantly, a toaster. He was trying to see what would work in the toaster and what wouldn't, so he tried you normal, everyday Idaho potato. Busy working on another invention that would later become the microwave, he left his wife, Stacy, to look over the potato. On the outside, everything seemed normal. On the inside, the toaster was about to explode. Because of this, the toaster gave off a lot of heat, so Stacy opened the window. Then, a random bolt of lightning somehow stuck the toaster, making it explode, killing poor Stacy. Even crazier, the potato grew to human size. While sleeping, a kid named Ian Schaar suddenly disappeared overnight, and the potato assumed his mind, and Ian's human facial features and limbs grew on the potato, too. While in another room, Lowell heard the explosion. When he ran to open the door to the kitchen, he noticed that he was incredibly muscular, and even ripped the entire door out of its frame. When he saw the potato standing there, he nearly fainted. The potato caught him, and put a fedora on his head.

8 From that moment forward, Lowell had an adventurous mindset. Also, at that moment was when the laws of the universe never worked properly again. The adventurer and the potato became something known as the archeologist hierarchy, the potato passing on the torch to the next adventurer when the current one passes. "Is my husband apart of this thing? asked Rosie. "Quiet!" the Tsar shouted. Even though they were severely broken, the laws of the universe still remained. Ever since Lowell, none of the adventurers would ever be able to become famous, even though they constantly search for artifacts. That ended when Bendiana Jones defeated the entire corrupt German government with one hand! He became world famous, and the laws of the universe disappeared. Nothing made sense from that point on. "All I can say," started Rosie, "is that your daughters are really bad at tying people to trees."

9 "What?" said Tatania, as Rosie started to run away, but her bones collapsed under her. "Silly girl," Tsar Nicholas said. "Let's bring her back to the palace. Meanwhile, Bendiana and Potato were trying to understand what just happened. They were flying away from Russia, their jet was struck with a random flying carrot, Bendiana whipped the top of the palace from space, and went crashing through the glass ceiling, all while the Russian peasant children watched in horror and disbelief. Clearing his mind, he remembered why everything was so ridiculous. Then, a person loaded potato and him into an ambulance, and drove them towards the nearest hospital. That's when the Romanov family drove into the palace. And I mean into the palace. They smashed a wall! "Hurry before the peasants get us!" Tsar Nicholas said to his children and his wife, as they hurried inside the palace. A couple of guards inside of the palace had revolted and regained control over it, but only the palace itself. The rest of

10 St. Petersburg was under Bolshevik rule, even though their leader, Vladimir Lenin, had disappeared over night. "More injured people?" said a roaming doctor. "Okay, let's take the boy and the girl to-" "Not the girl!" Tsar Nicholas said, furiously. "She's a prisoner. But please take Alexei!" "Owwwwwwwwww..." Alexei said. Alexei was a hemophiliac, meaning that his blood wouldn't clot properly, and even bumping into a wall would cause severe internal bleeding. When Rosie shot him in the arm, the condition didn't help him at all. So, going to the hospital was the best thing that could have happened for him. However, it wasn't for Bendiana Jones. His skin was burnt bad, and he needed to have surgery to get it fixed. Both of them were headed towards the hospital, while Rosie was taken to the dungeon.

11 Hours later, Bendiana made it out of the hospital good as new, but Alexei didn't make it out. When the Tsar heard the news, "Bendiana JONES!" he screamed. That's when the nurse guided Bendiana through the doors of the palace. When she saw the Tsar, the nurse ran away. Then, there was an awkward silence. "'Ey, what's up?" said a nervous Bendiana. The Tsar then tackled Bendiana, then the Tsarina, then the daughters. They started punching and biting at Bendiana, and he probably wouldn't have made it if Potato didn't burst through the rolling doors and run over the Romanovs. "Thanks, buddy!" he said, as they ran out of the palace and onto the streets, with the royal family chasing after them. Bendiana grabbed Potato's hand and whipped onto an overhead tree. They flew upwards, just escaping the Tsar's grip. Then, Bendiana had a horrible vision.

12 He saw Rosie in the dungeon, starving and wasting away to nothing. He saw her pain, and her torment. "We have to go back," said Bendiana. "Why?" Potato responded, confused. "Rosie... she's still in there!" Bendiana swung the whip towards the palace, and let go, hitting the ground with a thud. Quickly, he recovered, and broke towards the palace. Looking back, he thought he would see the Romanovs chasing him, but Potato had landed on them, and he was now rolling full speed towards the palace, too. "We haven't got too much time!" Bendiana yelled. "We've got to save Rosie!" Just then, another giant carrot came flying out of the sky towards the palace. The roof of the entire palace was sucked into the carrot, and it flew away.

13 "WHAT IS THIS?!" Bendiana said in frustration and confusion. That's when Rosie ran out of the palace to greet Bendiana Jones. "My bones are somehow better!" she said in excitement. Then, she seemed worried. "Bendiana? Bendiana? Are you okay?" That's when Bendiana woke up. "Bendiana!" said Rosie, smiling. "Potato hit a tree when you were flying out of Russia, but you forgot me... Anyways, I learned about the archeologist hierarchy somehow, and then escaped somehow!" "Where are the Romanovs?" Bendiana asked.

14 "Oh, they are dead. I tricked them into eating a giant poisonous carrot." Still no sense... thought Bendiana. "Well, where are we?" "We are in Germany. Potato is almost done fixing the plane, so we can head back to America!" "Finally," said Bendiana. Eventually the plane was fixed, and all three of them hopped in. Potato started up the engines, and the plane started rolling forward. The plane picked up more and more speed, until the nose went up, and it was in the air! They were off to America. "Uh, Potato?" Bendiana said halfway through the flight. "What did you do with your pet snake?"

15 "Oh, he's right here!" Potato responded, holding the creature in front of Bendiana. "Get it away from me!" Bendiana screeched, trying to scramble out of his seat. "Relax," Potato responded, calmly. "I HATE SNAKES!" When they were almost over Bermuda, their jet was caught in a terrible storm! The plane was out of control, spinning like crazy. Potato's snake was flung from the plane, only to orbit around the plane in the winds of the storm. "AIEEE!" Bendiana screamed. "How are we going to get to America?" "I've got it!" Potato responded. "We just need to use my teleporter! Now, let's see, 1, 7, 3..." "NO TELEPORTERS!" Bendiana yelled in a rage.

16 Just then, a herd of badgers were swept up in the storm, too. They started orbiting around the plane like the snake, until they all landed on the three of them. "Ah!" screamed Rosie. "How is this possible?!" said a confused Potato. "Badgers?" said Bendiana. "BADGERS?" Bendiana stood up. "WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BADGERS!" he yelled in anger, trying to get the badgers off of his face. The next few moments were so ridiculous, you might have believed it was a circus! Bendiana Jones throwing badgers into the storm, only to have them come back like boomerangs. Potato was trying to catch his snake, and Rosie was trying to control the spinning plane.

17 Then, the teleporter hit a badger. "Now teleporting..." said the little phone like object. "Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM!" said Bendiana, before the plane and everything in it and around it was sucked into a vortex. Then, Bendiana Jones, Potato, and Rosie were soaring through a black tunnel. "I've heard about this!" Bendiana remarked. "They call this tunnel, the 'Dark Horizons of the Sky'. This only happens when someone is sucked into a vortex, usually created by a teleporter... wait, POTATO?!" "I didn't confirm the teleportation!" Potato responded. Before long, all three of them were falling out of the sky, and they landed in sand. "Sand?" said Bendiana. "Where are we, Africa?!"

18 Bendiana stood up to see a large sign above them. "Albuquerque?"