Jack and the Beanstalk

Transcription

1 Jack and the Beanstalk A Play in Six Parts Written and Performed By The Year Six Players On the Twenty First of March In the Yeare of Our Lord 2014

2 Scene One Jack s Mother: Jack s Mother: Once upon a time, thither a boy named Jack. He lived in woe because he verily had naught to spare. Jack s mum had a cow called Daisy. Thou is as weak as a twig, and thou is oft abed. If t wasn t for thou I wouldn t dispatch it immediately. But But..! Don t answer back! (Jack s mother smacks Jack(Whack)) That thing is too expensive to keep. They tried and tried but they were in woe as thy had few groats. So Jack went aroint saying Fare thee well! Come hither Daisy! Withal his precious animal and left for market..

3 Scene Two Seller One: Good day, good morrow well met, pray buy some of me apples for one copper. (under his breathe) There is small choice in rotten apples ( louder to seller) Nay but thank thee. Seller moves on Seller Two: Seller Two: Thou dim witted fool, trying to sell me rotten apples. An I had coppers, I would buy, but nay I have nothing to offer for my wills. Pray buy me horse. Nay, I have nought to offer for thy horse. Adieu young sir. Jack walking along Cow: Cow: Old Man: Old Man: Old Man: (singing to himself) Moo! I miss your big bottom. Moo! (French accent) Allo, I am interested in your cow. Go aroint if you don t want thine cow. I want thy round malteaser, and cheap I do. I needth thy money sir, gold if that be thy gift but coppers aplenty would please. Monsieur, magnificent, mysterious, magical beans I offer thee.

4 Old Man: They must indeed be beans beyond compare, for coins I crave, tis coins I need! Trust me boy.

5 Scene Three How much did thou get for thy best cow daisy? Darling mother, hark, hark now I did indeed get five beans for thy best cow. Five stupid beans! Thou worthless toad, no glory is there in getting these beans! Come hether if thou art to scared to discoursed. Hark! Nay, you hark to me! Wherefore, wherefore did thou bring woe! Thou warty troll with nay sense of trust, of course it would have been a hoax. Hark I pray! Forgive me mother. Thou monsterous vile veroucca! You sell fish bag of rat droppings. Now I have to starve too! Please forgive! What have I to give thou back? Whats done cannot be undone! Thou art a idiotic sirrah! Ne r be trusted again! Thou starving toad for thine insolence, thou shalt starve some more. Now away to bed with you. Mum goes red in the face. But wherefore thou waist of space. Thine insults fall on deaf ears. Moreover, thine despatch is desired greatly. Thy filthy beast. Mum storms off and Jack stomps upstairs to bed. Mine foolish son, thine actions shalt be of great misery and woe to thee.

6 Mum throws beans at window and smashes glass. Robin: Robin: Robin: Alas mine insolence is inexcusable. A robin sits on a branch with nought a sound to harken it s ears. (tweeting) Ah, methinks this e en tis so terrible with drowning quiet. All is silent. Then a wrenching crack is heard. Hark, what be this beast of sound that slays the peaceful silence. Anon, a silver of green twirls into the frosty air. Leaves like limbs extending everywhere. This babe of a sapling turn d to a tree; a tree to a gargantuan one; a gargantuan one to a towering monstrosity, piercing the white clouds and rising, like a geyser, higher and higher than ever Adieu, and the sun goes down. Adieu, the e en rises.

7 Scene Four When Jack awoke he immediately spotted the Beanstalk and started to climb it. Sound effects for climb a Beanstalk Jack clambered up the towering pea green Beanstalk. He thought to himself, to himself he thought! Hie cuisley and slowly those who rush stumble and fall. At last he got up, got up he did on a fluffy white cloud. Into giant world he entered, he stared around and spake with astunn d voice. I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it. Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, here be the children, yum, yum, yum! But then the grotty massive giant came hither out of nowhere ready to dispatch. Tint, terrified, Jack raced into the pigeon poo castle. Thump, Thump, Thump I going to be disposed, fare well the world. Roar! I going to eat you.

8 Scene Five Harp: Harp: Harp: My soul is in the sky. What can I do? Men in rage strike those that wish them best. What is that spark of gold in the corner of mine eye? What is that displeasing sound? Double, double intruder trouble thou shalt perish as I gobble. A golden harp constructed with wonder I see it lies with a gold laying egg, but twil it ever come home with me? The chicken laid a golden egg just then. It was as big as Jack s enormous head. Jack was so shocked that he nearly died. The harp was gold. The gold was precious. The harp had metallic sounding strings. The strings made elegant music. The harp could talk!!!!!!!!!!!!! When it talked it dist state.. The giant shalt O Giant, O Giant, Where art thou? Alac, alas. Whither thou st taketh me? Cease this raucous discourse. Hence, the giant shalt come and rid this land of thou. Hark now, is that a rumble of thunder. May it not be the giant. (he turns his head, searching for the giant- footsteps) Hark once more, this is not from the cloud s mouth. ( Jack widens his eyes). It is the giant! This cannot be. I desire food and home

9 Scene Six Chorus: Chorus: Chorus: Where is the stuffed pocket of frogspawn? Where are thou nightmare face that disturbs my day? Nay, anon the giant heard, he looked; nay, anon he looked, he chased; nay, anon he chased, he cried! I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you art unarmed, instead I will chase thee! Then the giant ran towards the beanstalk. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack climb down the beanstick. (Repeat). He eyed thou fool effeling down the beanstalk. Jack looked up. Though he is but big he is weak. Go wisely and slowly Jack. Those who rush will stumble and fall. Double double toil and trouble. Leafs break and beanstalk wobble. Jack got to the bottom of the beanstalk before the giant. Mother: Mother mother get me the sharpest axe. (chops the beanstalk down.) AHHHH!!! He is a feather of lead. (crash) Wife ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave giant.

10 Mother: Mother (dies) Mum I got a golden chicken and a singing harp. We are rich. Whereto verity grammercy. Thank you. Thou art a brilliant man. We are rich! (Repeat)