An Introduction to Spiritual Legacy: Sharing Stories, Values, and Wisdom

Transcription

1 Spiritual Legacy Workshop Nov. 12, 2013 Daniel Taylor, Creating a Spiritual Legacy (Brazos) (website), dwtaylor321@gmail.com An Introduction to Spiritual Legacy: Sharing Stories, Values, and Wisdom "A lifestory is a gift one generation bestows upon another, a legacy people have been giving from the beginning of time." Denis Ledoux Spiritual legacy: the unique complex of values, beliefs, insights, passions and actions that are embedded in each person's life experiences that can be conveyed to others. beliefs: convictions about the world that cannot be proven but nonetheless often contain the most important truths. insights: life-tested assertions about how things are. passions: the fuel that gives energy to values, beliefs, and insights. Shorter definition: an offering of wisdom and blessing from one life to another. wisdom: practical knowledge about what is important in life and how to live well --right priorities and right choices Joel 1:3 Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. Psalm 102:18 Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord. Ps. 71:18 Even when I am old and gray, do not abandon me, my God, until I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. 2Tim. 1:5 Paul to Timothy: I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that lived first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, lives in you. Underlying convictions 1. Everyone has a story worth telling. 2. Everyone has the right to tell it. Silone: Everyone has a right to tell their own story in their own words. 3. Everyone has the responsibility to pass on wisdom. 4. Stories are the single best way to do so. 5. Everyone has the ability to tell their own story.

2 2 THE SPIRITUAL WILL A spiritual will is a personal statement (often quite brief) about what one has learned from one s life--created for the benefit of others. It combines wisdom and blessing. Central questions: --What has life taught you? --What is important to you? --What are your hopes/blessings for someone else? EXAMPLES OF SPIRITUAL WILLS Bible: Genesis 49, Deuteronomy, John Alexander Solzhenitsyn (from The Gulag Archipelago): "What about the main thing in life, all its riddles? If you want, I ll spell it out for you right now. Do not pursue what is illusory--property and position--all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade, and is confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life--don t be afraid of misfortune, and do not yearn after happiness; it is, after all, all the same.... whom should you envy? And why? Our envy of others devours us most of all. Rub your eyes and purify your heart--and prize above all else in the world those who love you and wish you well. Do not hurt them or scold them, and never part from any of them in anger; after all, you simply do not know: it might be the last act before your arrest, and that will be how you are imprinted on their memory." Lee Pitts (from People Who Live at the End of Dirt Roads): [These Things I Wish for You (shortened)] To all my friends whom I cherish... We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I d like better. I d really like for them to know about hand-me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he s scared, I hope you let him.... If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one....

3 3 May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.... I hope your Mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you--tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it s the only way to appreciate life. Following is a spiritual will, written by William Weld-Wallis in response to this question: On September 11, 2001, many people made last calls to those they loved from airplanes and burning offices. If you had to make that call, what would you want to say, and to whom? To Tess: Tell the kids to love peace and reconciliation, and to work toward it. I learned that from Martin Luther King. Tell them to choose the way of Jesus because it offers the best way to live, not because it offers the easiest way to eternal life. I learned that from William Stringfellow. Tell them to find Christ in all things. I learned that from St. Ignatius. Tell them to find meaning in the Eucharist. I learned that from the Plymouth Brethren, the Episcopalians, and, finally, from Bishop Oscar Romero. Tell them to embrace our culture, loving what is creative and life-giving, but naming what is seductive, diseased, and immoral. I learned that from Fr. John Staudenmaier, S.J., and from contemporary prophets and artists (even some here at Trinity Church!). Tell them that fidelity, in love and in faith, is honorable, and that it is possible even in a culture which teaches that nothing can be permanent. I learned that from Fr. John Kavanaugh, S.J. Tell them that God has a preferential option for the poor. I learned that from our brothers and sisters in Latin America. Tell them to learn, to expand their experiences and their minds. I learned that first from my parents, and then from the many educators, professors, pastors, and friends who have pushed and challenged me. Tell them that I love them. Tell them that I love you. Bill Patricia Hampl: For we do not, after all, simply have experience; we are entrusted with it. We must do something make something with it. A story, we sense, is the only possible habitation for the burden of our witnessing.

4 4 STORY LEGACIES A Legacy workshop member: When I talk to my Dad about things that happened when I was growing up, I hear years and decades melt away. His knees aren t sore, his hip doesn t hurt, and he is taken away. I see the value that those stories are to him, as well as to me. I want that for my children. STEPS TO TELLING A GOOD STORY STEP 1: IDENTIFY THE STORIES YOU WANT TO TELL STORY LISTS: Focus on events. The time that.... The best place to find topics is your everyday life experiences, past and present--and how you think and feel about them. CHARACTER LISTS: Identify and describe significant people in your life. VALUES OR INSIGHT LIST: What values/virtues/insights are important to you and why? INTERSECTING LISTS: When a significant character who was part of a significant event that suggests an important value or insight, that is a story you need to tell. STEP 2: WRITE BEFORE YOUR WRITE Choose a story or value from your lists. Write down idea, thoughts, reflections, descriptions, etc. before you begin to write the story itself. STEP 3: ANSWER THE FIVE QUESTIONS OF STORYTELLING 1. WHERE DOES THE STORY TAKE PLACE? SETTING. --Setting provides the context in which things happen to people and is itself part of what is happening --Setting is both a place and a time --Settings can themselves become characters in a story --Settings can reveal character 2. WHO IS IN THE STORY? CHARACTER How to make characters come alive in a story: --give enough descriptive details for readers to create the character in their own minds. --let us hear the character speak

5 5 3. WHAT HAPPENS? ACTION Something has to be at stake Thinking and feeling are as much an action as is doing. 4. WHO SPEAKS? DIALOGUE --Talking is a form of action. SCENES: Setting, character, action, and dialogue together create a scene. Scenes are the building blocks of all stories. ORGANIZE YOUR STORIES AROUND SCENES! A scene is simply something happening to characters in a setting. Abstractions give us information; scenes put us in the middle of an action. 5. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? SIGNIFICANCE Show, don t tell. (fiction) versus Show AND tell. (memoir) Describe and reflect. OR, forget all of the above and just tell the story! Frederick Buechner (from his memoir, Now and Then) "There is no event so commonplace but that God is present within it, always hiddenly, always leaving you room to recognize him or not to recognize him, but all the more fascinatingly because of that, all the more compellingly and hauntingly.... Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." EXERCISES SPIRITUAL WILL QUESTIONS AND EXERCISES EXERCISE 1: WHO S IMPORTANT? AUDIENCE LIST Make a list of people you might have in mind as you do spiritual legacy work in general and a spiritual will in particular. Who do you wish to bless? With whom do you wish to share your values and insights and stories? (It can include someone in the future who is not yet born.) EXERCISE 2: THE GOOD LIFE EXERCISE. 1. Using either paragraphs or a list of characteristics, explore what, in your view, makes for a good or successful life.

6 6 Perhaps make a list of sentences/paragraphs starting with the same words: A good life [is].... Cover various aspects of what you think of as a good life, not just the very most important (e.g. having a sense of humor). EXERCISE 3: WHAT S IMPORTANT? VALUES IDENTIFICATION 1. Identify. Make a list of three one-word values or virtues that are important to you. (They don t have to be the MOST important, just things you admire or think important.) 2. Define. Choose one and offer your own one or two sentence definition of it (not a dictionary definition). 3. Discuss. Give you thoughts about it. Try to get to the heart of it. Why is it important? What is its effect? What does the concept mean to you? 4. Story it. Identify an experience from your life that illustrates this value in action (or consequences of its lack). (Can actually tell the story later) EXERCISE 4: THE BLESSING EXERCISE 1. Choose someone from your audience list from Exercise Write a blessing for them, using one of the following prompts. I wish/hope from you... May your life be... Some of the things I like about you are... Repeat the opening phrase with each new thought. Can be completed by single sentences or paragraphs. STORY LEGACY EXERCISES EXERCISE 5: STORY/EVENTS LIST Spend a few minutes free-associating on the following: What are events in my life, large or small, that I would like to get down in a story? Make a list. Just enough to remind you of the story a few words or sentence. Focus on events: The time that.... EXERCISE 6: CHARACTER LIST A. List significant or interesting people who have been part of your life. It may be someone you have known all your life, or someone you only met once. It doesn t have to be the most important people, simply ones that come to mind. You can decide later whether you think they are worth writing about or not. B. Now choose ONE person from the list. Begin listing words or phrases that describe that person: physical, personality, character, defining qualities, etc. C. Identify one particular story that includes them, and reveals aspects of who they are and why they are important or interesting to you EXERCISE 7: SETTING A. Choose a story from your story lists and free write on the SETTING of that story. Where and when does the story take place and what does that place look, smell, sound and feel like?

7 7 B. Make a list of places or settings that have been significant for you. Include both large-scale settings (cities, mountains, lakes, deserts, buildings, ruins) and intimate settings (rooms, a garden, a favorite chair). Free write about that setting. List things that come to mind about it. Use the free writing material to write a description of it. Reflect on the significance of the setting to you. C. People put their stamp on places and places put their stamp on people. Describe in detail a place associated with a person in a way that reveals things about the personality or values or actions of that person. Try doing so without having that person present in the setting, but in a way that tells us things about that person. Then do it again, adding that person going about typical activities in that setting. Consider, as examples, the following settings: a kitchen, workshop, garden, fishing boat, bedroom, desk, car, church pew. ADDITIONAL STORY EXERCISES EXERCISE 8: HOME STORIES A. Draw a picture of the home you grew up in. (If you grew up in multiple homes, choose one, or do this exercise for more than one home.) You can make a looking down, house plan drawing. Or you can do a three-dimensional, roof-off picture. Or both. Or any other visual approach that is helpful. Label each room (don t forget the garage) and put in some of the furnishings sofas, television, dining room tables, beds, stoves and refrigerators, work benches, where the dog slept, even photographs or paintings on the wall. Then choose a room and create a story list just for that room. Perhaps it is the your favorite room or least favorite. What stories do you associate with that room? What events happened there? What repeated activities? What people? If you lived for a long time in one house, think of stories from that room at different ages. If you exhaust the stories that come to mind about one room, move on to another. B. Now move outside. Start with the yard, the back yard if you had one. Create a heading Stories of the Back Yard, and go to work. C. Then move out of your yard to the neighborhood. Draw a map of it. Label the houses where different people lived your best friends, the house where people were always yelling, the house of the crabby old guy, the house you could go to if things weren t going well in your own. What stories do you associate with each house and the people in it? Now create a story list from the neighborhood. Where did the kids meet to play? What were the favorite street games? Where in the neighborhood did you once have an adventure or get in trouble? When was the first time you explored outside your own neighborhood? If you didn t have a neighborhood at all, what did you have instead (a farm, an apartment building, a mountainside)? EXERCISE 9: PHOTO STORIES

8 Choose a photograph that prompts memories and reflection. Study it. Jot down facts and thoughts about the photograph. Where and when was it taken? What is the event and setting and how is it significant? Who are the people, if any, in the photograph? What is their relationship to each other literal and emotional? Look closely at faces. What emotions are being expressed? What is perhaps being revealed about the inner life of each person? What time of life is it for the people in the photograph generally and specifically? Is how people are dressed significant? Are there objects in the photograph that reveal something? Is there a backstory to the photograph? Does the emotional tone of the photograph reinforce or contradict that backstory? (For instance, a photograph in which everyone is smiling but one of the people is dying of cancer or two of them are bitter competitors.) Who is taking the photograph? Does that invisible person have a role in the scene? Make a list of stories that this photograph brings to mind. 8

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