VOTY & NSW Inter-Club Drama 2017

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2 2 of /11/2017, 1:27 am VOTY & NSW Inter-Club Drama 2017 Title Producer Average Judges Counted Hold the Pineapple John Tsioulos Take it Back Jake's Team The Life of Colin Wollongong VM - Max Davies Zombie Spy Newcastle VM - Ian Huish Underwood Ark Wollongong VM - Stacy Harrison Snake Two! Newcastle VM - Phillip Reynolds 71 6 Monkey and the Beanstalk Jake's Team Egyptian Wonder Max Milgate Mothers of ROCK Paul Szilard's Team The Spar Arm Adventure Jake Bray 65 6 Focus Night Paul Szilard Orkney Islands Jim Whitehead Learning to Fly Paul Szilard Moments that pass Jake Bray Obesity Nuts Team Amazing DJI Mavic Pro Drone Ban_Nee Lim George Carrard and Murray Brown_part_performance Ilma Cave 60 6 Moscow Neville Waller 60 6 Pacific Cruise Ian Scott St. Petersburg Neville Waller 57 6 Slide McBride Entertainer Extraordinaire Ban_Nee Lim Reg & Ida John Maher Anita Cobby Charity Dinner Paul Szilard's Team Agent 005 in Australia John Maher 38 6

3 3 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by John Maher (Drama)

4 4 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Agent 005 in Australia Entrant John Maher Judge Number 8 Competition VOTY & NSW Inter-Club Drama To provide the really detailed feedback we felt this needed to give all the help and advice on this needs more space than we have here. Clearly a lot of work has gone into this and it's a shame it has not really come off as I'm sure was hoped. Many technical aspects need to be considered to improve including things like audio levels, dubbing, colour correction and possibly camera settings along with editing, especially the choice of shot / image. Also, use of titles, continuity of audio and so on. More camera angles would also have helped. The script was a little slow and hard to follow, we would suggest cutting much of the dialogue and focusing only on the essential lines to develop the story and characters. This was quite an ambitious film with lots of locations so well done for trying.

5 5 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Agent 005 in Australia Entrant John Maher Judge Number A good creative effort which may benefit from more development and experience. Perhaps more original footage (not so many stock stills some of which are of poor quality), plus input from someone with more experience in post-production, editing and audio. Look forward to next year's entry.

6 6 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Agent 005 in Australia Entrant John Maher Judge Number Opening title was confusing. Camera field of view often cut off actors faces. Video color grading seemed way off in some scenes. Audio was very poor quality and voice over-dubs out of sync.

7 7 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Agent 005 in Australia Entrant John Maher Judge Number What a great idea, very imaginative, so much going on that it's difficult to know where to start. Lip sync was out on a couple of occasions, During the opening dialogue sequence between the seated agents, they were too far apart, could have benefited from separate camera angles for head to head shots. but appreciated it must have been very difficult to put the whole film together. Well done.

8 8 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Agent 005 in Australia Entrant John Maher Judge Number please understand that your approach has merit but your overall production requires a lot more study of production of film before your work can be of satisfactory acceptance. thank you for at least making a real effort on a difficult subject matter.

9 9 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Agent 005 in Australia Entrant John Maher Judge Number This was sweet and fun, cos of the people who made it but also inept in its colour, composition, acting and in particular its editing. In the sense that it was infectiously entertaining though it reminded me of Equinox made by Star Wars FX guy Dennis Muren when he was a teenager.

10 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Ban_Nee Lim (Special Techniques)

11 11 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Amazing DJI Mavic Pro Drone Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number Nice as a sampler / promo video of a drone, impressive shots and quality of image, great for being nosey! Not sure quite how to score it, seemed competently flown but that's not in the criteria, no sense of how easy it was or anything else about the drone which is the title of the film. It does show how amazing it is though. Nice to have your friends included in it too, added something.

12 12 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Amazing DJI Mavic Pro Drone Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number Mainly nice standard drone footage, good for stock. Good that you added a bit of a story and conveyed some enthusiasm. Don't let CASA see it. Sydney Harbour is well and truly a non-fly zone, and you're identified, if they have a clampdown Sydney Harbour is likely to be first. Music suitable, but gets a bit repetitive.

13 13 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Amazing DJI Mavic Pro Drone Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number Amazing footage of Sydney. 70

14 14 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Amazing DJI Mavic Pro Drone Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number It's amazing how professional a film can look when using a drone, especially if it is flying over a scene like Sydney Harbour, but it's a shame the same care was not spent on the end credits which were slightly too big, and there was a need for a voice-over explaining what you were all doing. Now you've shown us that you can use a drone safely, we look forward to what you will do next.

15 15 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Amazing DJI Mavic Pro Drone Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number You do not have any audio other than someone else music as your underlay. how about you make an attempt on narration and mixing your narration with music. at least that is an effort on your behalf. drone did all the work with minimum effort from you. disappointing. all marks to drone. All lease you know to to play with your drone toy. please make a serious effort next time and learn from your efforts in film making if you are devoted to film making.

16 16 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Amazing DJI Mavic Pro Drone Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number Note similar to Learning To Fly: Nice track. Great footage but could have been funny following them as they learn them. As much as the footage is good films are about people and their reactions combined with the use of the drone could have made for a better experience.

17 17 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Paul Szilard's Team (Documentary)

18 18 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Anita Cobby Charity Dinner Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number Good as a record of the evening but we weren't sure this would really appeal to many who were not there or involved in the charity. Very moving cause and background but none of that really comes through in the way it is told overall. Be good to have some of the dignataries speak to camera or have some more documentary style coverage or something that takes it away from just a limited record of the evening. If a TV channel covered the event, even if they couldn't speak to anyone they would find an angle to use to turn it into a 2 or 3 minute summary segment. Needs that type of approach to score more really.

19 19 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Anita Cobby Charity Dinner Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number It's event coverage rather than doco, which has to more than just non-fiction. For a doco you at least need analysis and preferably some interviews, otherwise all it is is B roll. but since there's no category for events... There are a few glitches and gaps in the cinematography and edit but otherwise its a pretty standard coverage.

20 20 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Anita Cobby Charity Dinner Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number I thought this was a well done video technically. The video footage was sharp and clear and the audio was good. The subject matter was rather somber though. Please check your spelling in the titles.

21 21 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Anita Cobby Charity Dinner Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number Opening credits good. A voice-over describing this event would have been helpful to the viewer. Was disappointed to find a lack of ambient and sync sound especially during the shots with a room full of people clapping. Other than that, this film was an excellent record of an event.

22 22 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Anita Cobby Charity Dinner Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number a little too long. for this exercise you could have edited the shaky camera work and made the speeches shorter and puncher. needs further works.

23 23 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Anita Cobby Charity Dinner Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number This is a room that has a million fascinating stories in it but the dinner itself really isn't that interesting. Seems a missed opportunity behind a curtain of good intentions.

24 24 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Max Milgate (Documentary)

25 25 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Egyptian Wonder Entrant Max Milgate Judge Number This was an interesting piece but could have done with a story with more a BME. It began with information on Egypt, then covered the cruise and your trip, these didn't hang together well enough to bring through a story which brought the piece together other than just general Egypt coverage. To score more highly we would have liked to have seen more story and more structure. The editing was generally fine, good shot duration, the egyptian music added to it although a bit of variety would have helped score more. Composition of shots was inevtiably quite run and gun which let it down. In summary a competent piece technically, nothing overly challenging or creative and needed a story to score more against the other films in this competition.

26 26 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Egyptian Wonder Entrant Max Milgate Judge Number Max, you're clearly a skilled videomaker and there possibly are some nice memories here. It's really a travelogue, not a doco, and I'm judging it as such, as a doco it wouldn't do as well. Maybe read up what docos are about - they have to be more than just non-fiction. For an audience that has seen it all before you maybe should think about advancing from the model of 1950's travelogue. The 3:4 aspect adds to this flavour. Perhaps have a look at some more contemporary TV travel shows - Palin, Bourdain, Departures. Show us some things we might not otherwise see, and let us have some original insights. Excellent clear commentary.

27 27 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Egyptian Wonder Entrant Max Milgate Judge Number Egypt antiquities have always fascinated me and this video doesn't disappoint. The video quality wasn't the best, but I really liked the fundamental story and audio ambient soundtracks.

28 28 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Egyptian Wonder Entrant Max Milgate Judge Number Very informative voice-over, nicely paced film, each shot was exactly the right length. Steady shots throughout, excellent soundtrack. Very good well made documentary.

29 29 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Egyptian Wonder Entrant Max Milgate Judge Number ver good. a little more work and your video would be very professional. some editing and camera works crystal out for improvement.

30 30 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Egyptian Wonder Entrant Max Milgate Judge Number Generic unfortunately. Reminded me of Monty Python's Away from it All. 37

31 31 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Paul Szilard (1 Minute Film (VOTY))

32 32 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Focus Night Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number As a simple intro to a video club night this does an ok job, needed really to show off and highlight some more of the video maker skills learnt from the club to give more of a sense of the club and the evenings event. Music helped maintain pace.

33 33 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Focus Night Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number Not a bad little promo, especially for the first 30 seconds, but maybe could benefit from a few more cuts, cu's, video rather than stills after that.

34 34 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Focus Night Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number I found this video annoying too loud! I had to stop the video to turn down my volume and and then restart the video. I found the subject interesting as it seemed to reveal the actions behind the scenes of the club's video production. The time-lapse scenes were cool.

35 35 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Focus Night Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number Good advert for the club. Some shots were held a bit too long, otherwise the film is very good. Next time, try and make the stills the same ratio as the film. That is, no black borders. I thoroughly enjoyed this film, and I look forward to seeing your next full production.

36 36 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Focus Night Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number nice montage of shots. would be better if you actually had a couple of scenes where actors receive direction and instruction rather than titles explaining your video. overall reasonable effort.

37 37 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Focus Night Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number In house only. No value whatsoever to anyone who wasnt there. 41

38 38 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Ilma Cave (Music)

39 39 of /11/2017, 1:27 am George Carrard and Murray Brown_part_performance Entrant Ilma Cave Judge Number The split screen was certainly a different approach, not sure it worked using it throughout the piece especially as the shot jumped around in places which was distracting. More classic editing would perhaps have made better use of the footage, helped hide the jumps and keep audience more engaged. We would like to have seen audience shots too, even if not the audience of the actual piece it would still have added context and appeal. Good sound capture. Overall a good performance record but needed more creative camerawork, more angles, more engaging edit in order for us to score it any higher.

40 40 of /11/2017, 1:27 am George Carrard and Murray Brown_part_performance Entrant Ilma Cave Judge Number Nice performance video, should appeal to specific intended audience, interesting use of split screen, would have liked glimpse of audience plus some more end credits (for venue, music publishers and page turners), would be a good series (if it isn't one already). There does seem to be a bit of a problem with the sound/mix - were the mics on camera and auto levels?

41 41 of /11/2017, 1:27 am George Carrard and Murray Brown_part_performance Entrant Ilma Cave Judge Number The piano player's head was cropped out of frame near the beginning and the camera shifting was distracting. While the split screen was a novel approach to showing both performers, I would have preferred two or maybe a third full screen camera angles. The abrupt ending unfortunately reduces my score. At a few points early in the performance it sounded like somebody bumped the microphone. Musically, the performers were quite talented.

42 42 of /11/2017, 1:27 am George Carrard and Murray Brown_part_performance Entrant Ilma Cave Judge Number The split screen was a strange idea. I'd like to have seen the film edited together as a full widescreen production, cutting from one musician to another, and sometimes seeing them on the screen together. But it was an excellent idea. We were surprised when it ended so quickly on a fade out. Was there any reason why the film ended the way it did?

43 43 of /11/2017, 1:27 am George Carrard and Murray Brown_part_performance Entrant Ilma Cave Judge Number your subject matter is very interesting but it lacks presentation. no close ups or other angles of the two musicians. boring two shots right through video makes this a disappointing effort on your behalf. expected a lot more cinematography from your interesting subject matter.

44 44 of /11/2017, 1:27 am George Carrard and Murray Brown_part_performance Entrant Ilma Cave Judge Number Enthusiasm came through. Prod values didnt match. 49

45 45 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by John Tsioulos (Drama)

46 46 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Hold the Pineapple Entrant John Tsioulos Judge Number Excellent and fun little piece. We like pineapple so couldn't understand it at all but it was well done and looked like a big production too.

47 47 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Hold the Pineapple Entrant John Tsioulos Judge Number Nasty. But fun, OK as an absurd piece. You know about the acting. Some cuts could be shorter. Not sure if Vimeo or my card is responsible, but your levels are clipped to broadcast legal and iphone shoots full range - there's room to add a bit of contrast in post.

48 48 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Hold the Pineapple Entrant John Tsioulos Judge Number This video had a story and inspired me to laugh at times. I enjoyed the acting. Good camera angles and slow motion effects. Nice audio and good editing.

49 49 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Hold the Pineapple Entrant John Tsioulos Judge Number Brilliant little film, great original idea, competent editing, well acted by all involved, nice flow of sound and action.

50 50 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Hold the Pineapple Entrant John Tsioulos Judge Number a good effort. audience appeal could be higher. 76

51 51 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Hold the Pineapple Entrant John Tsioulos Judge Number Good first track after he leaves first house. Actor pretty good. Hes just the delivery man so doesnt make sense that hes to blame. Could be better if shorter.

52 52 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Paul Szilard (Special Techniques)

53 53 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Learning to Fly Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number Not sure what the appeal was intedned to be here, the drone footage was perfectly fine but not really got a story to the film, the music was a bit same same throughout. The titles would have been better focused on the title of the video and what you were doing or learning than on where the footage was, although that was interesting the drone was the hero really and we didn't learn anyhting about it.

54 54 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Learning to Fly Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number Some nice images and probably a bit of a story there but basically undistinguished drone footage. Maybe cut down on the transitions and the fancy subs, and use less repetitive music.

55 55 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Learning to Fly Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number Another video with amazing aerial footage! 73

56 56 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Learning to Fly Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number As the title suggests it looks like you are still learning to fly this drone. Perhaps a voice-over explaining that would have been helpful as I didn't know what the film was trying to say. We look forward to your next film using this drone. We know it'll be absolutely amazing.

57 57 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Learning to Fly Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number Fitzroy falls not Bitzroy falls. needs narration to give it more appeal. 63

58 58 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Learning to Fly Entrant Paul Szilard Judge Number Great use of locations, but what was lost here was a narrative - because there is a clear one: learning to use it. You should have mic-ed yourself and included all the mistakes for comedy and then moved into the nice blue mtns pics as a payoff.

59 59 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Jake Bray (Drama)

60 60 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moments that pass Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number An interesting little piece, we liked the atmospheric music and interesting camera work. Not sure what it was about, not sure how the piece hung together and not sure if there was a theme or story running through it! Even so it was captivating and well edited and executed. A few pieces were slightly out of focus and a bit of camera stabilisation might have helped, similarly a bit more intercutting between the various pieces might have carried a stronger story? It was short though and that avoided us losing interest.

61 61 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moments that pass Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number Watched this several times. still couldn't work out what it was about, what you were getting at and perhaps like me the audience would prefer a bit more exposition, otherwise seems just unrelated footage. With a monkey. But that's OK, experimental film is marked by the obscure. Colors seemed a bit flat, but perhaps that's Vimeo.

62 62 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moments that pass Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number The story of the video is lost on me, but I thought the camera angles and slow motion work was good.

63 63 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moments that pass Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number As an abstract piece of film it worked well. Be careful of hand-held shots especially when filming monkey sitting by window, consider a tripod next time. I would like to have seen more 'moments.'

64 64 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moments that pass Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number too slow and boring. moments in time can be affective not boring. moments in a motion picture film are what make it memorable not boring that you feel like sleeping. overall you film is good sleeping tablet.

65 65 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moments that pass Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number Different frame rate of 2 initial shots of Asian guy slightly distracting. Needed to come back to girl at end. If I understand it its her thinking of her toy in human form as shes grown up. Loved the dropping shot and idea very much. Good track.

66 66 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Jake's Team (Special Techniques)

67 67 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Monkey and the Beanstalk Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number A clever retelling of a classic story, some interesting camerawork and certainly a novel approach. The commentary was possibly a little overdone with some of the text just stating the obvious. Because it is such a classic tale we felt it really needed to be a bit more interestingly executed to hold audience appeal, while the set ups were fairly clever and creative in places, they were also a little limited which we felt reduced the appeal. Interesting approach though and good inspiration for a subject for a film.

68 68 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Monkey and the Beanstalk Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number A fun original piece. Parent and under 5 child could watch with parent reading subs, some of which were unnecessary (he's obviously chopping). Watch spelling (it's "sought")

69 69 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Monkey and the Beanstalk Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number A very creative piece! This had to be a lot of work to create the motion sequences of the monkey. As much as I love it, I have to detract from the score for the spelling error in the written narration.

70 70 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Monkey and the Beanstalk Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number Very well executed difficult technique and format to pull off. The story lost a bit for me when the music style changed at the end and was completely different, I don't think the medieval piece was a good choice for the end credits. As a group film, you've done very well.. Do you think that five credits are slightly too many for one person? After all, Alfred Hitchcock only credited himself twice in his film Psycho.

71 71 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Monkey and the Beanstalk Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number good effort. entertaining. would be greatly improved by voice over of characters speaking. music alone can make it very somber.

72 72 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Monkey and the Beanstalk Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number Entertaining and joyful. A more inventive font would have been nice and needed a new track when he saw the castle in the clouds and when hes cutting down the beanstalk.

73 73 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Neville Waller (Travel)

74 74 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moscow Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number This film certainly enabled us to get a bit of a feel for Moscow, it was nicely cut together with a mix of the more touristy stuff and the people and things they do. It was better for not having a voice over but was a little let down by not really having a story to tell or a theme. Catch 22 perhaps that not using a voiceover meant there was less story and so was essentilly a travel montage of the sights of moscow. We felt it was very watchable, enjoyable and probably did what it set out to do but in terms of competition scoring against the criteria it didn't really do anythying terribly creative in terms of approach, audio, editing or cinematography so we found ti hard to score it highly in those.

75 75 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moscow Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number Some nice memories, you've even gone outside the guidebook sights, but needs more story to be competitive - not just the "where" but also the who, how, why and when, otherwise it's just footage. Have a look at some travel shows on TV.

76 76 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moscow Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number I was captivated with the scenes of Moscow and the people's activities. Nice quality images and footage.

77 77 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moscow Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number Started really well. However, I was waiting for a voice-over to help me through what I was watching, but it never happened. This would have helped enormously. Also the piano music was credited but the film-maker or film-makers were not, which was a shame. Please add a voice-over next time, and you'll have a very nice travel film.

78 78 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moscow Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number lacks information and narration would have boosted your efforts. some stills with people not moving are edited poorly into your story and lacks creative cohesion. overall nice video and is crying out for more improvement and embellishment. not properly finished.

79 79 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Moscow Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number Visuals convey the place but are not dynamic or flow particularly. Highlights were the start on the train due to a sense of anticipation and the wedding. Girl in Red Square seemed out of place but probably means something to filmmaker. I missed peoples faces: the most visual thing you can film. (PS I was in Moscow last year)

80 80 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Paul Szilard's Team (Music)

81 81 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Mothers of ROCK Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number We awarded points for audience appeal to assuming the audience is a bit of a fan of this band, if not then we felt this would probably be lower as without more angles, playing close ups and close up of band members you don't really get a sense of the people or the band itself other than from the main wide shots which is a bit overused. The audio was good generally so that helped. You did try to make the best of limited camera angles through the edit in places but didn't really do enough to rescue the limited angles / footage.

82 82 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Mothers of ROCK Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number This is a rock performance video as distinct from a music video. Unfortunately there's an unintended incongruity between the performance and the laid back weekend venue vibe - not your fault, but you can't fix it with VFX, which in any case need a theme - don't use them for their own sake or to show you can. Maybe think about losing the audience and doing a music video. Have a look at some classic rock performance videos to see how they capture or create atmosphere - if it's excitement note lots - lots - of very short cuts, on beats, angles, crossfades. How did you get the audio? Can you mix it and punch it up? If you're doing this for the band, they need direction to convey the image they want on video. Maybe see if they can do folk rock.

83 83 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Mothers of ROCK Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number I thought the opening titles were VERY creative. The multiple camera angles added to the interest. I think the editing was appropriate where it presented a slice of several different songs. This would be a good promotional video.

84 84 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Mothers of ROCK Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number Amazing covers band, but were there enough cameras covering this wonderful event? The film could have benefited from more close-ups of the singers face and/or the lead guitar and maybe you should have used more cutaways of the audience enjoying themselves. The opening credits although very slick were too fast to be read properly. Other than that, a very enjoyable and watchable film.

85 85 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Mothers of ROCK Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number sound is not from a direct feed from singers microphone which seriously impeded your video. required more camera angles to make video interesting. you could have still done this with a single camera by recording the presentation song again in various close ups and carefully editing them in later. very time consuming but professional editing always is time consuming.

86 86 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Mothers of ROCK Entrant Paul Szilard's Team Judge Number The 2 cameras at the back were too similar in shot. Would have liked to hear from the band as their connection with the audience wasn't clear and that would have resolved it. I have a feeling they loved this but didn't know it.

87 87 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Nuts Team (Drama)

88 88 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Obesity Entrant Nuts Team Judge Number This was a good little idea and fairly well done overall but we felt it let down by a few things which you could fix for your next production. One of the main suggestions we have is around the pace of the story, it was a little long and slow at times, we felt the dream scene could have been speeded up and put to music, felt perfect for a montage and didn't need any of the dialogue really, we could have worked out what was happening. We liked the editing of the gym fitness scene. Few things to also think about would be cut down on camera zooms, get more angles and camera positions and try and get the audio levels better and more consistent. Good subject matter, important real issue.

89 89 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Obesity Entrant Nuts Team Judge Number Decent script, well acted. Some suggestions: Get in closer on actors, cut down/out the zooms, use more key in the lighting, boom and manual the audio, shorter cuts in the edit, cut it down overall.

90 90 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Obesity Entrant Nuts Team Judge Number The camera exposures and grading were very good. The audio levels were a little too low. 73

91 91 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Obesity Entrant Nuts Team Judge Number Topical subject, well edited and acted. Well done. Try and avoid jumpcuts as you did at the end of the film during the conversation, unless this was intentional. It might be better to cut between the husband and wife.

92 92 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Obesity Entrant Nuts Team Judge Number poor editing. jump cuts are not permitted unless very creatively thought through which you have not done so. very poor sound that need volume control very high to hear your dialogue. subject matter boring. so much more could have been done on subject to make this interesting which was not attempted.

93 93 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Obesity Entrant Nuts Team Judge Number Good topic but could have been more subtext. Some rough editing at the top. Exercise montage could have been much shorter.

94 94 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Jim Whitehead (Travel)

95 95 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Orkney Islands Entrant Jim Whitehead Judge Number A simple piece which was intereting although a bit of a mix of trip recount with history lesson. In the first section the voiceover and visuals were inconsistent, visuals seemed to have been used almost used in spite of the story being recounted? To try and help this we would suggest for your next film you consider your storyline or historical theme and structure footage only around that. Ideally selecting it before you arrive to help guide the shots you get. We really felt you needed a theme or clearer structure to support the interesting facts you did have but also to give you editorial guidance on removing some pieces which might were less interesting, for example what you had for dinner - even though it looked nice. The music was well chosen although could have had more variety. Overall a nice little recall piece which we felt would have been improved with more planning and story structure to be able to give higher scores.

96 96 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Orkney Islands Entrant Jim Whitehead Judge Number Good 'postcard" style travel video. Nice map. Nicely cut. Suitable music. Clear commentary. I personally would have liked a bit more personal info - how, why, when you went there, how you responded emotionally, but really good example of the video club travel genre.

97 97 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Orkney Islands Entrant Jim Whitehead Judge Number A very fascinating history lesson! The video makes me want to visit the islands. 71

98 98 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Orkney Islands Entrant Jim Whitehead Judge Number Interesting trip around the Orkneys. Nice to see people enjoying themselves. Well done. Some shots wobbled a bit, and there was no sync/ambient sound on the ship when you were eating. Adding this sort of track would have improved the feeling of the film. But overall it was most enjoyable, and a pleasure to watch.

99 99 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Orkney Islands Entrant Jim Whitehead Judge Number informative, appealing. poor editing in points. thank you for making a good effort in narration. 65

100 0 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Orkney Islands Entrant Jim Whitehead Judge Number A dry history lesson. No humour or people. 45

101 1 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Ian Scott (Travel)

102 2 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Pacific Cruise Entrant Ian Scott Judge Number A fine record of your trip but perhaps a little limited on audience appeal for much of it beyond close friends and family. The parts we felt had most relevance to us as a general audience were those on culture, history, people and their livelihoods. The voiceover script tended to more of a trip recollection than introducing us to a story about the place which we felt let you down a little. You clearly faced the standard travel challenge of quick shooting with limited preparation time. We acknowledge this challenge but can't unfortunately give scoring handicaps against the judging criteria we are given. We know ourselves these are hard films to make with wide appeal because there is less time to plan, less creativity on approach possible and less cinematography on show but it can be done and we would suggest a plan in advance, and an idea on a storyline before you land is a good place to start for your next trip.

103 3 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Pacific Cruise Entrant Ian Scott Judge Number This is what happens when you don't have a plan, just take a video camera along, get a few shots where you think there's something interesting. Some good memories for you, but just adding a commentary mainly describing what's on screen doesn't make it competitive.

104 4 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Pacific Cruise Entrant Ian Scott Judge Number A good passenger's perspective on a cruise trip. 64

105 5 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Pacific Cruise Entrant Ian Scott Judge Number Well what can I say about this travel film. There are plenty of colourful shots. I felt I was there on the boat. Well done, you make very good travel films.

106 6 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Pacific Cruise Entrant Ian Scott Judge Number passable. lacks information as to actual geographical place or country. basically disappointing because the subject matter is very rich and topical and so much more could have been accomplished.

107 7 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Pacific Cruise Entrant Ian Scott Judge Number Liked the droll commentary. Got a good sense of place and took an interest in people not just sites, which makes it more engaging. Also liked the pretty waitress.

108 8 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by John Maher (Documentary)

109 9 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Reg & Ida Entrant John Maher Judge Number Lots of research and work clearly been done here and selection of stills and work creating images was commendable. This needed a clearer structure, tighter voiceover script which needed to delivered with more pace and also more attention to edit detail and audio levels. It feels a shame to give a low score but we haved scored it relative to other entries. Well done for putting this together, you make some important points and deliver a happy ending ultimately to top it off. Our best wishes for your next production.

110 1 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Reg & Ida Entrant John Maher Judge Number Congratulations -you have covered a lot of territory to tell an interesting story adding a personal and human element against a background some major philosophical issues. The effort put into this shows. Minor points - some of the stills may be a bit out of place, and the difference in audio levels between the interview and B roll could be fixed, maybe cut down some of the scenes, and Bill Creswell's name is misspelled.

111 111 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Reg & Ida Entrant John Maher Judge Number My first impression of the video was that there might be an assumption that the viewer was already familiar with Austrailia's involvement in WWI. For me on the other side of the world, the story lacked some coherency. It did however, bait my interest in learning more about the subject. The audio levels are too low in most regions and could benefit from a little compression as well.

112 112 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Reg & Ida Entrant John Maher Judge Number The opening and closing talk had far to much echo. Try using a clip on, or overhead (out of vision) microphone next time. A few titles were a bit too big and covered the images. It could have been more elegant if the titles were placed on the black areas. Apart from that, it was a very enjoyable film.

113 113 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Reg & Ida Entrant John Maher Judge Number subject matter has merit and is interesting. video lacks appeal due to weak presentation. 44

114 114 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Reg & Ida Entrant John Maher Judge Number Theres some really interesting stuff here (particularly the rock dropped on deck and "if he was dead I'd know it") but its not radio. The story (which is too long) isn't really told visually and feels more like a list of historical info rather than that combined with its also being a giant test of will and emotion which it was for its participants as well. Good content. Execution is trying.

115 115 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Ban_Nee Lim (Music)

116 116 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Slide McBride Entertainer Extraordinaire Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number Not sure what the story here was really, we saw Slide playing but we didn't really learn much about him yet he was the title of the film. We came away from this a little disappointed and confused. We also didn't understand the cut aways to food, it seemed quite random? We would like to know how they relate to Slide as the star of the film? It was commendable shot on an iphone but focus was also often a bit out. Slide playing trombone got to be quite repetitive since it was all basically from the same camera angle. We would like to give more points but not sure we can under the various headings. More planning and a story were needed to pick this up which we understand is hard when you shoot impromptu.

117 117 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Slide McBride Entertainer Extraordinaire Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number Looks like a fun night, with good food and company. Slide to me seemed a bit sad, trying too hard. - was this intentional?

118 118 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Slide McBride Entertainer Extraordinaire Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number I thought the scene cuts to the food close-ups was quite creative and suggests that this might be a food video rather than a music video. Remind me to never eat sushi next to a trombone player though

119 119 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Slide McBride Entertainer Extraordinaire Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number This film left me speechless. A perfect evening's entertainment. What more can I say? Noted slight picture focus problem towards end of film, not sure if that was needed.

120 120 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Slide McBride Entertainer Extraordinaire Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number not consistent in filming or editing or audio sound. needs vast improvement in these areas. 32

121 121 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Slide McBride Entertainer Extraordinaire Entrant Ban_Nee Lim Judge Number Seems a strong performer but needed to see him in the context of his environment earlier on. When we initially do its awkward as the camera is interfering with the customers interaction with him so its unnatural. And thats what we want to see.

122 122 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Neville Waller (Documentary)

123 123 of /11/2017, 1:27 am St. Petersburg Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number As a video montage of the scenes and sights of St Petersburg this was good but as a documentary we felt there needed to be something more of a story or structure. The editing was good and kept the pace moving although some fast cuts were slightly too fast. The music became a little repetitive and meant also there wasn't a change of pace or high or low moments which was a shame. The transitions added and took away in almost equal measure, a few too many different ones and used a few too many times. Looks like an interesting place to visit though. Well done.

124 124 of /11/2017, 1:27 am St. Petersburg Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number Really just stock tourist travel footage, possibly some memory joggers for you but not really a documentary. If yoou're going to enter comps, documentaries say something about the human condition. Travel benefits from a story - not just where, but also who what why where when how. Have a look at some TV travel shows. There were two minutes of black at the end of this video, not sure what that was for.

125 125 of /11/2017, 1:27 am St. Petersburg Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number I thought the lack of a voice narration was brilliant as it enabled me to focus on the ambient soundscapes. The video really opened my eyes to what life is like in St. Petersburg and now I want to visit the city!

126 126 of /11/2017, 1:27 am St. Petersburg Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number It looks like a nice place to visit but a voice-over would have been very helpful. Personally there were too many stills and panned shots that were too quick for the viewer to take in. Next time, try to smooth out any panned shots or camera movements.

127 127 of /11/2017, 1:27 am St. Petersburg Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number needs narration to explain to the audience the very interesting location and subject matter. basically we left to our imagination. video would be so much improved if good clear narration was added. good effort.

128 128 of /11/2017, 1:27 am St. Petersburg Entrant Neville Waller Judge Number Doesn't really do anything special to bring out the beauty of the city. Didn't get the sense of its history being on its streets as well as in its museums that you get when you're there. Dissolving on shakey shots never works.

129 129 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Jake's Team (1 Minute Film (VOTY))

130 130 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Take it Back Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number Great pace, great simple idea, excellent editing and very well executed overall. Espeically liked the fight scene and the hand back shot with the moving camera, very well done. Audio was a little dodgy in places and could possibly have done with some more effects to really take it to next level but very impressive overall.

131 131 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Take it Back Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number Short and nasty story well toold, technically excellent, great for the reel, well acted, shot and edited. Not really fair to those producing ten minute videos.

132 132 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Take it Back Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number I liked it! I only wish the credits could have lasted a second or two more so that I could have read them all, but then again, this is only a 1 minute flick! Nice sound, good video quality, and good editing.

133 133 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Take it Back Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number Great idea, very slick and well put together. Only one thing let it down and that was the end credits as they were not on screen long enough to see who was involved. Apart from that, a well put together little masterpiece. It's amazing what you can tell the audience within 60 seconds.

134 134 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Take it Back Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number so the fight scene as action. the single fight frames seem cheap way to do the scene. overall some creative thought has gone into this production.

135 135 of /11/2017, 1:27 am Take it Back Entrant Jake's Team Judge Number Visually dynamic. Director knows what they're doing. They need a story. Colour and lighting flat. Would have been god to switch up sound in fight scene. A good example of a film that needed a third act.

136 136 of /11/2017, 1:27 am by Jake Bray (Documentary)

137 137 of /11/2017, 1:27 am The Spar Arm Adventure Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number We enjoyed this and felt it had potential to offer much more with just a little more structure, more of a story focus and some tighter editing possibly with a voiceover rather than supers. What was done was good but we felt adding more emphasis on questions like would Uncle Zayne be successful, would he make any sales at all or would he lose money on the trip, would his idea succeed or fail, presenting the trip as more of a challenge with risk involved would also have got more sympathy and audience buy in, we would have been with him, supporting him, willing him to win. Even things like would they make it to the caravan site on time would have been something more dramatic. Adding segments of interviews from people visiting the event, what did they think of the idea, interview a buyer and ask why, a non buyer and ask why and so on. All these things were there for the taking but missed which was a bit of a shame as it had the potential to be that little more engaging and we would have loved to score it even higher.

138 138 of /11/2017, 1:27 am The Spar Arm Adventure Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number Good stuff. You showed the how why what where and when, which so many club members leave you guessing. Loads of human interst. Members who produce the tired old 1950's style travel footage don't understand how much effort is involved in producing this type of record. You still should cut out obviously bad footage, I think you waved the camera around a bit much for a Casey type video, and you could do more show than tell with subs. But congratulations, best wishes, hope you've got the patents in place for the arm, great idea, wonder no-one's thought of it.

139 139 of /11/2017, 1:27 am The Spar Arm Adventure Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number I thought the product depicted in the video was interesting, but about half way through the video I started losing interest. The video could have been stabilized better. The microphone problem in the beginning put me off too.

140 140 of /11/2017, 1:27 am The Spar Arm Adventure Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number Fascinating film, nice different and unique approach. But if you are doing the whole film hand held, then you must hold the camera a bit steadier. Liked the pieces to camera in the car, and good voice-over throughout. Wish you all the best in promoting your product in One of the best films in the competition.

141 141 of /11/2017, 1:27 am The Spar Arm Adventure Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number too long and subject matter was not made interesting to the audience. a personal home video that needs more editing.

142 142 of /11/2017, 1:27 am The Spar Arm Adventure Entrant Jake Bray Judge Number Very interesting setting. Some good tracks. Should have turned off radio at the end with Dire Straits as you can't clear chain of title on that. You needed to establish your uncle's hopes for the weekend at the top. I found him an interesting, stoic character but wanted to hear what was at stake for him. Your inclusion was helpful as it gave him someone to interact with as well as narration. You needed to drop out the track when the car stops due to the roof, and get out of it quicker. Its funny but its also not central to the film. You can hinder jokes by staying with them too long. The film is entertaining but needed to be about your uncle as much as the weekend as a whole (which again was an interesting setting). This was good but also very much unfulfilled potential which is frustrating.