JIMMY: WRITTEN NARRATIVE (FABLE)

Transcription

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2 Ant s Story Have you heard ant s world? Let me introduce a person Harry. A funny ant, he can show you the life about himself and his story. Unlike on the ground the environment doesn t have fresh air, no sunshine, without rapid stream. So Harry always like staying on the ground and far away his friends and family. One day, he sat under the tree to be in a daze. He won t be a common people like his friend which everyday just do the same thing in whole day He hate doing that. He always said. If I were Human being. I m willing to do everything Suddenly a strange idea occured in his brain, Right go to the city in which people worked in. To see how the human beings to live and do. said he. Yes, he is successful. When he arrived in the city he change his mind quickly. Because wherever he went, he can t dodge people s feet. Despite trying his best, he can t hear everything still. There re so many cars and endless noisy. During the trip, he realize which one is better between his country and human s. Unfortunately he was injured. He lost one of his arm and another one is in plaster. He feel sorry, not only his family but also for all over the people. He said he loves his family and his own country whatever it is rich or poor, big or small, interesting or boring. It s the sure life, said he. I think he right. You should respect the surroundings, because it belongs to you. Thank you for reading. Page 2

3 Genre: achieving different purposes level of scaffolding independently written following conversation about structure 7 / 8 / 9 schematic structure title, orientation, complication, resolution, evaluation and coda organises the text: rhetorical questions: What are the best strategies? conjunctions: First, Next, Finally, In addition noun group in place of conjunctions: Another reason, One of the main arguments, The principle cause of the increase phrases and dependent clauses of cause: As a result of the rain, Struggling to survive, Despite his poor health phrases and dependent clauses of time, place, manner: Born in 1898, When we had finished, With great care non-finite clauses: Selecting a topic topic words: Antarctica, Pollution action verbs (in procedures): Slice, Boil existential subject to introduce new information: There interpersonal elements: Personally, Obviously, In fact, It is apparent layout: subheadings, diagrams, pictures rhetorical questions: Have you heard ant s world? time, place, manner: Unlike on the ground, One day, Suddenly, When he arrived in the city, During the trip topic words: He interpersonal: I think builds cohesion: reference items: my, it, they, him, the, this, these, all of the above, such examples vocabulary patterns - synonyms / antonyms - words that go together: lodge complaint - word sets: gene, inherit, hereditary, dominant, recessive - classification: teeth - canines, molars, premolars, incisors - composition (whole-part): tooth - enamel, dentine, pulp, nerve conjunctions to join sentences: Next, So, Therefore, Hence, Conversely reference items: you, me, he, himself, his, I, it vocabulary patterns - synonyms: a person/a funny ant people/friends and family/human beings, environment/surroundings/country, realize/think - antonyms: hate/loves, rich/poor, big/small, interesting/boring - composition: environment - fresh air,sunshine, stream conjunctions: So joins clauses to expand information: linking conjunctions: and, or, so, and then binding conjunctions: because, if, since, when, so / so that, whenever, though relative clauses: The Suez Canal, which was completed in 1869, non-finite clauses: The team, having seen the results, felt, Having seen the results, the team, To improve the final product projections: Scientists claim that exercise prolongs life. linking: and, but also, so binding: because, when, despite, if relative clauses: He won t be a common people like his friend which everyday just do the same thing in whole day (He isn t a common person like his friend, who everyday just does the same thing the whole day), the city in which people worked in (the city, where people work) non-finite clauses: Despite trying his best, he projections: I think he (is) right. Page 3

4 Field: expressing ideas and experiences noun groups: numbers, describers, classifiers, qualifiers: television, a book, the pencil, all day, the children in the water, the children living in the city, The medical discovery that has had the most impact a funny ant, the life about himself and his story, a human being, a strange idea, so many cars, endless noisy (noise), the sure life 7 / 8 / 9 comparatives: funnier, slower, more beautiful, best better nominalisations: likelihood, growth, development, beauty, risk, government, capability, potential surroundings, environment, life verbs: action: subtract, peered, scanned, demolish mental (sensing): knew, believe, understood, enjoyed, hated saying: said, laughed, shouted, stated, asserted relational: are, became, has, consists of, represents, means verbal groups: wanted to improve, tried estimating phrasal verbs: fell in with the wrong crowd, look it up, put up with, put off, put out action: introduce, show, sat, do, go, to live, arrived, dodged, injured, trying, lost, staying, reading, heard, change mental (sensing): like, hate, realize, feel, think, love, respect, occur(r)ed saying: said relational: is, was, have, belongs verbal groups: let introduce, willing to do causal relations: verbs: led to, brought on nouns: the result of the floods, the cause of the injury phrases: because of the heat, in spite of the rain dependent clauses: because the weather was bad, owing to the cyclone threat, if the cyclone hits, in order to end the suffering verbs: to be dependent clauses: Because wherever he went, because it belongs, Despite trying his best circumstances and clauses: when: in 1614, when he arrived where: at the sign, standing on stage how: carefully, with great care, like a leopard with whom / what: with his friend, with their belongings metaphors: get it off your chest when: always, One day, suddenly, still, During the trip where: on the ground, under the tree, in his brain, to the city in which people worked in, far away (from) his friends and family, in plaster, wherever how: unlike, in a daze, quickly, like his friend which every day just do the same thing in whole day technical vocabulary: digest, high sugar levels, niacin environment, stream, surroundings quoting and referencing: direct speech: The police officer said, There were no injuries. reported speech: The manager of the team said that they were referencing: Scientists believe that, According to the weather bureau, Studies have shown direct: He always said. If I were Human being. I m willing to do everything (He always said, If I were a human being, I would be willing to do anything. ); Right go to the city in which people worked in. To see how the human beings to live and do. Said he. ( Right, I will go to the city where people work to see how human beings live and what they do, said he.); It s the sure life, said he. reported: He said he loves his own family Page 4

5 Tenor: interacting with others speech functions: statements, questions, offers, commands subjectivity / objectivity: subjective: In my opinion objective: The response of the prime minister contains rhetorical question, offer, command in direct speech, and series of statements expressed through simple, compound sentences with varying accuracy subjective: I think objective: There s so many cars and endless noisy 7 / 8 modality: certainty: possibly, it suggests, tend to, might be able to, I am sure, will obligation: necessarily, must, demand, they forced frequency: tendency, typical, always inclination: like, willing, preference obligation: should respect frequency: always inclination: willing interpersonal meaning: feelings, attitudes: It s beautiful, very, rude, just, only, luckily, unfortunately, importance, outstanding idioms, colloquialisms, euphemisms, humour culturally specific references: dressed in black names to refer to people feelings, attitudes: funny, strange, successful, endless, Unfortunately, not only names: Harry appropriateness of tenor language choices effectively build relationship with the reader through directly addressing the reader and revealing feelings and attitudes, evoking sympathy for the character, final sentence detracts from the writer s position as an authorative narrator Page 5

6 Mode: creating spoken and written texts tenses: primary: past, present, future secondary: other tenses eg was sleeping, wanted to go, haven t played, was going to have to play primary - past: heard, sat, said, were, occurred, arrived, went, lost - present: let, introduce, go, is, think, belongs, thank - infinitive instead of present: to live - present instead of past: changes, realize, is, feel secondary - accurate: can show, doesn t have, won t be, was injured, should respect - inaccurate: I m (I d be) willing to do, can t (couldn t) dodge, can t (couldn t) hear subject verb agreement errors: Harry always like staying, He hate 7 / 8 / 9 passive voice: active: The heavy rainfall led to some minor flooding. passive: Minor flooding was caused by the heavy rain. foregrounding: referencing: According to the statistics, As shown in the data abstract elements: The destruction of the habitat conjunctions including those in second place: Success, on the other hand, phrases and dependent clauses of cause phrases and dependent clauses of time, place, manner including consecutive phrases of time, place: In Canberra in 1975 non-finite clauses non-human elements: The lathe, Koalas human elements: specific We, general People action verbs: Draw existential subject to introduce new information interpersonal elements conjunctions: So cause: Because where ever he went, Despite trying his best time, place, manner: Unlike on the ground, One day, Suddenly, When he arrived, During the trip non-human: A funny ant human: He, I, You existential: There interpersonal: Have you, Let me, Right, Unfortunately, Thank you appropriateness of foregrounding foregrounding of time, place and character is appropriate to a narrative; the use of said he on two occasions demonstrates an elementary understanding of the effect of marked theme in literary texts coherence: introduction, topic sentences and conclusion, and the links between them coherence achieved through opening paragraph which prepares the reader for the narrative, temporal conjunctions which help link the events and final paragraph which provides a simple conclusion print conventions: handwriting: letter formation, spacing, direction spelling: link to pronunciation and visual patterns, spelling common and uncommon words, using prefixes and suffixes punctuation: capitals, fullstops, question marks, commas, speech marks, apostrophes, semicolons, dashes, links to intonation abbreviations: cm, 2nd, eg handwriting: sometimes difficult to read, largely due to size and height of letters in relation to line spacing spelling: accurate punctuation: capitals, full stops, question marks and commas used appropriately, some inaccuracies with direct speech multimedia / multimodal: links between gestures, visual images, sound, light, layout, tables, spoken text and print text Page 6