10 x 10 : 100 Minutes to Change the World The Winning Plays of the 2007 Kakiscript Competition

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3 10 x 10 : 100 Minutes to Change the World The Winning Plays of the 2007 Kakiscript Competition KAKISENI SDN BHD KUALA LUMPUR

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5 10 x 10 : 100 Minutes to Change the World The Winning Plays of the 2007 Kakiscript Competition Project Concept: Kathy Rowland, Kakiseni Sdn Bhd In editorial matters and Kakiscript Playwriting Competition Kakiseni Sdn Bhd, 2008 Copyright of individual plays resides with the author of the play. Published by Kakiseni Sdn Bhd AM-2, Mezzanine Floor The Istara 1 Lorong Utara B Off Jalan Utara 46200, Petaling Jaya Selangor, Malaysia Design and Production by Bright Lights at Midnight, Kuala Lumpur Printed and Bound by Academe Art & Printing Services Sdn Bhd, Kuala Lumpur All rights reserved. Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of private research, criticism or reviews, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any process without prior written permission of the publisher or the individual copyright holders. Kakiscript was made possible by the generous support of an armchair anarchist.

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7 FOREWORD It is believed that the earliest modern Malaysian play-script, a creature sprung from the historical and cultural intersections of East and West, coloniser and colonised, traditional and modern, is Shaharom Husain s Pembelot, written and performed in Since then, countless writers have added to an everexpanding body of locally written theatre. Written in diverse languages Tamil, Malay, Cantonese, English these scripts have in some cases been staged; in other cases, the transition from script to full production remains unrealised. While several have been published (a few of which remain in circulation today), many original works have been irretrievably lost over the years. The desire to create is often an illogical one, if one applies acceptable standards of logic to it. The emotional and financial cost of staging a play can be staggering for an independent artist or a struggling arts group. There is often little hope of financial reward. Then there are limitations as to what can be said on stage: imposed by British administrators, Japanese occupiers and, after Merdeka in 1957, successive national governments. Over the past 15 years, new players have entered the fray: certain individuals and civic groups have taken on the mantle of censorship in the name of religion, cultural sensitivity, and public morality. Despite these limitations, new works continue to surface. In the languages used, the characters drawn, the themes explored, and the plots created, these works of fiction (and sometimes fact) reveal more about our nation than any

8 history textbook can (or is allowed to). It is perhaps only under the cover of the fictive that we are allowed to speak unflinchingly about the ideas, issues, and concerns of Malaysians. There have been and continue to be important initiatives that encourage the development of our own theatrical canon. The Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka has, for decades, been a critical incubator of new plays, both in their production and publication. Komplex Budaya Negara, through programmes such as its one-act dramas (staged at the Malaysia Tourism Centre Auditorium) in the early 1990s, encouraged new as well as experienced writers to write. Companies such as Dramalab, The Actors Studio, Five Arts Centre and Instant Café Theatre have, over the years, created a range of innovative programmes that have produced new original material for the stage. It can be argued, however, that the absence of stable, structured programmes that encourage and financially reward the creation of new works for the local stage has hampered the growth of Malaysian theatre. With the Kakiscript Playwriting Competition, Kakiseni hopes to test a structure that addresses some of these shortcomings. It aims to be an annual, open competition; it carries the most lucrative prize of any writing competition in the country: a total of RM34,000 in prize-money, as and the publication of the winning texts in a single volume. In the end, a belief in the power of words to bring about change is what drives this initiative, above all else. Kakiscript is an attempt to encourage the creation and dissemination of works that deal with the complexities of the Malaysian experience, from the intimate to the political, and everything that lies in-between.

9 For the competition s inaugural iteration, we received a total of 94 submissions. They came from both first-time writers and seasoned professionals; from big cities and small towns. There were plays that were wonderfully pertinent, or entertainingly frivolous; some were didactic tirades, while others were nuanced affairs that challenged the reader into thinking. 10 x 10 : 100 Minutes to Change the World features all ten of the first Kakiscript s winning plays. You will hear many voices here. Some you may like, others you might find repulsive; there will be characters you trust and characters you fear. Whichever way your feelings fall, you will undoubtedly recognise these voices. The Grand Prize winner, Mohd Jimadie Shah Othman s Politikus Profesional, is an insightful political satire populated by amoral political animals that are sadly too familiar. In Teng Ky-Gan s The New Tenant, a conversation between two young men presents a sly comment on the escalation of materialism and the pressure to succeed in our society. Bird Flu: A Love Story, by Ho Sui-Jim, is a fable about love and birds who are not of a feather. Julya Oui s Breakfast with the Dogs captures the man-on-thestreet rationalisation that has given us the kind of leadership we deserve. In David Lim s Cruising Malaysia Year 2007, a young man s resentment of sexual repression moves seamlessly into a racist s aggression that reveals the multiple, shifting roles of aggressor and victim in our society. Shanon Shah s Don t Remember Me This Way is a layered tale of youth, love and home as two boys say goodbye to each other. Kee Thuan Chye s Ideals & Principles makes a particularly pertinent point about silence and its costs both on society and on the individual. Jo Kukathas s if only you d seen me on my wedding day you would understand is infused with a melancholy that soon simmers into anger at the injustices

10 faced by women in our society. Animah Kosai s Ramadhan Feast makes literal the piggish qualities of a domineering, corrupt father. In the final play of this collection, That Sinking Feeling, Tom Leng takes Malaysia Boleh to its insane extreme. In the midst of preparing this publication, our resolve was tested. We had wondered if the political climate in the lead-up to the General Elections made a publication such as this foolhardy. Various options, including the possibility of changing some of the plays, were considered. The irony did not escape us, or our winners. In consultation with the writers, and with the advice and support of several civil liberties groups, the works were untouched except for the renaming of an organisation in one play. This publication, both in the process of its becoming, as well as in the words and ideas it contains, is part of a longer, wider struggle: that of Malaysians fighting their fears and testing the limits of artistic expression. We would like to thank our three judges Prof Lim Chee Seng, Raja Ahmad Aminullah and Leow Puay Tin who brought great knowledge and insight to the judging process. We thank our sponsor, who respected artistic process and allowed us to proceed without interference. A big thank you to Wong Chen, who made the Kakiscript Playwriting Competition possible by doing what he does best: connecting people. We also thank Malik Imtiaz Sarwar, Amnesty International, Malaysia, and the Centre for Independent Journalism for their counsel and support, and Bright Lights at Midnight for giving this book its distinctive look. Finally, we thank each of the ten writers for their wonderful plays, and for their belief in the power of words.

11 We hope that 10 x 10 : 100 Minutes to Change the World operates within the intimacy that exists between a reader and the words on the page but also without it. We hope that each of the ten plays function in more communal ways: be it onstage, or in classroom debates. The changing of our world hinges not on an individual work of art, but on the author, his or her audience, and the acts that let their voices carry. KATHY ROWLAND Kakiseni.com

12 KAKISCRIPT JUDGES Leow Puay Tin has been involved in theatre for over 20 years as a playwright, performer and educator. She is noted especially for her plays Three Children and Ang Tau Mui which have been staged in Malaysia and abroad, including Singapore, New York, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Cairo, Berlin and Adelaide and as the curator of Malaysian texts for Second Link: The Singapore-Malaysia Text Exchange. Currently, she co-heads the Department of Performance + Media at Sunway University College. Professor Lim Chee Seng is Professor at the Department of English in the Faculty of Arts & Social Sciences at the University of Malaya. He is a graduate of the Universities of Malaya and Oxford, where he was Commonwealth Academic Staff Scholar. He specialises in English Renaissance Literature and Postcolonial Literature in English. His research interests are reflected in his involvement in the International Shakespeare Association (of which he is an Executive Committee Member, ) and the Association for Commonwealth Literature and Language Studies (of which he was a past International Chairperson, ). He is also currently President of the Malaysian branch of ACLALS and the Malaysian International Literature Society. He has published chapters in books and articles in academic journals in France, India, Japan, Malaysia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. In 1996, he was Visiting Fellow at Yale University and, in 1995 and 2001, Visiting Professor at the Centre for Advanced Studies in English in Calcutta (formerly the Department of English, Jadavpur University).

13 Raja Ahmad Aminullah is a poet, writer, observer and keen student of culture and history, who is now more at home in the world of art and culture. For information on the rules and regulations of the Kakiscript Playwriting Competition, refer to

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15 CONTENTS Politikus Profesional Mohd Jimadie Shah Othman Bird Flu - A Love Story Ho Sui-Jim The New Tenant Teng Ky-Gan Breakfast with the Dogs Julya Oui Cruising Malaysia Year 2007 David Lim Don t Remember Me This Way Shanon Shah Ideals and Principles Kee Thuan Chye if only you d seen me on my wedding day you would understand Jo Kukathas Ramadhan Feast Animah Kosai That Sinking Feeling Tom Leng Winners bios

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17 Politikus Profesional 1 Mohd Jimadie Shah Othman 15

18 Babak I, Lakon I -- Pejabat Wakil Rakyat Politikus Profesional 1 Telefon berdering. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 mengangkat telefon. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 ANONYMOUS 1 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 Maaf encik, sekarang waktu pejabat dah habis. Encik boleh datang lagi esok. Pejabat buka jam lapan pagi hingga lima petang. Bagi saja pada pembantu saya, dia akan uruskan semuanya. Kalau encik nak jumpa saya, saya available dari pukul sembilan hingga lima. Kalau macam tu, dalam satu suku atau satu setengah saya sampai. Emm, encik datang lewat sikitlah. Pukul satu saya rehat. Pukul dua saya masuk balik. Dalam pukul dua lebih-lebihlah encik datang. Babak I, Lakon II ANONYMOUS 2 Helo, boleh cakap dengan Dato Politikus. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 ANONYMOUS 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 Ha, ha, itu belum. Menyusul. Sekarang masih encik. Encik, saya dan kawan-kawan kena tipu. Taukeh tempat kami kerja tak mahu bayar gaji. Saya mohon keadilan. Maaf, ini bukan Parti Keadilan. Ini Parti Keris. Nak nombor telefon Keadilan, sila telefon 103. Terima kasih kerana memanggil pejabat wakil rakyat Politikus Profesional. 16 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL

19 ANONYMOUS 2 (Loghat Kelantan.) Celako punyo tok wokil. Babak I, Lakon III ANONYMOUS 2 Helo, En Politikus Profesional, saya ANONYMOUS 2, saya ada panggil tadi. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 Er, cik ke puan? ANONYMOUS 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 Cik. Ya, saya ada panggil tadi. Saya minta keadilan... Keadilan? ANONYMOUS 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 Er, bukan, bukan maksud saya saya nak jumpa En Politikus Muda. Saya nak minta tolong. Kami tertipu. Kami teraniaya. Cik dah report polis? Kalau nak report polis tak payah telefon 103. Dail saja 999. Terima kasih kerana memanggil pejabat wakil rakyat Politikus Profesional. Babak II - Kedai Kopi POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 Mana ada orang main politik macam tu. ANONYMOUS 3 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 ANONYMOUS 3 Politik boleh main ke? Eh, politik memang boleh main. Kalau kita tak main, nanti depa main kita. Sungguh. MOHD JIMADIE SHAH OTHMAN 17

20 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 ANONYMOUS 3 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 ANONYMOUS 3 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 Main, jangan main-main! (Sebentar.) Dia tu politikus cari makan. Ahli politik mana boleh ikut office hour. Tengok macam saya, kedai kopi inilah pejabat saya. Tuan-tuan boleh jumpa saya bila-bila masa pun. Saya sedia mendengar dan menyelesaikan masalah tuan-tuan semua. Bila-bila pun boleh. Bila-bila pun boleh. Tambah-tambah dekat-dekat pemilihan parti ni. Pukul empat pagi pun saya buka pintu. Janji ketuk saja. Ha, ada berani? Tak kena buat appointment dulu ke? Nak appointment apa lagi? Tuan-tuan semua bos saya. Saya berkhidmat untuk tuan-tuan. Tuan-tuan yang bayar gaji saya. Tuan-tuan yang terima resume saya. Jadi, tuan-tuanlah bos saya. Takkanlah kalau bos nak jumpa saya kata kena buat appointment dulu. Kalau kerap macam tu, alamat nanti kena pecatlah saya. ANONYMOUS 3 Sungguh. Babak III -- Rumah Politikus Profesional 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 Malam. Bunyi ketukan pintu. Siapa pula ketuk pintu rumah aku malammalam buta ni. (Melihat jam.) La, pukul tiga setengah ni. Orang gila apa. Yang, yang, ada orang mai. Abang pi buka pintu kejap. Kalau jadi apa-apa telefon Mamak Bendahara okey. 18 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL

21 ISTERI POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 ISTERI POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITKUS PROFESIONAL 1 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 Ni mengigau ke apa hal ni? Buat apa telefon Mamak Bendahara malam-malam buta ni. Dia kan rabun malam. Telefonlah polis. Awak telefon Mamak Bendahara dalam keadaan macam tu samalah macam awak telefon tukang masak. Tak ada faedahnya. Awak mana tahu. Orang perempuan main masak-masak bolehlah. Hoi, buka la pintu. Tidur ke dah mampus? Apalah masalah manusia ni? Betul ke tu manusia? Entah-entah hantu. Jangan jawap abang. Dia pun bukan ada bagi salam. Orang tua-tua kata, kalau ada benda tegur malam-malam awak jangan jawap. Nanti dia ikut. Hantulah bagus. Waktu pemilihan parti memang saya perlukan banyak hantu. Muka awak pun dah macam pelesit saya tengok. Laplah sikit air liur basi tu. Hoi, apa yang lambat sangat ni. Nyamuk banyak luar ni. Bau longkang pun busuk. Kau ni ada telur ke tak ada telur? Takkan sembunyi dalam selimut. Maaflah tuan. Malam-malam ni tak berapa nampak. Cari selak pintu tak jumpa. MOHD JIMADIE SHAH OTHMAN 19

22 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 membuka pintu. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 La, hang ka! Ada apa malam-malam buta ni. Ada pertemuan sulit ke? Nak ajak aku masuk konspirasi ke? Hang memang nak cari nahas. Kita kena mesyuarat. Mana ada mesyuarat malam-malam buta ni. Pejabat dah tutuplah bang. Kalau nak mesyuarat datanglah pejabat saya pukul sembilan esok. Saya ada di pejabat waktu tu sampai pukul enam. Tapi kalau nak jumpa setakat pukul lima boleh. Satu jam lepas tu saya tak available. Bodoh, sekarang aku tak kerja. Office hour dah habis. Lagi pun kerja ni tak ada OT. Sekarang aku tak perlu profesional. Only personal, nothing business. Ini urusan peribadi. Kau dah buruk-burukkan nama aku di kedai kopi. Kau main kotor. Politik ni kena pandai main. Kalau tak, nanti depa main kita. Kau nak apa sebenarnya ni? Aku mahu keadilan! Diam-diamlah. Masuk dulu. Malu orang dengar malam-malam buta bertekak ni. Aku mahu keadilan! 20 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL

23 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 Ini bukan Parti Keadilan. Ini Parti Keris. Kalau nak cakap dengan Parti Keadilan, boleh call 103. Terima kasih kerana menghubungi Politikus Profesional 2. Kepercayaan anda adalah motivasi kami. Telefon berdering. ISTERI POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 Mamak Bendahara telefon. Babak IV, Lakon I -- Rumah Mamak Bendahara ANONYMOUS 1, ANONYMOUS 2 dan ANONYMOUS 3 berada d luar pintu. MAMAK BENDAHARA menunggu di dalam. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 dan POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 masuk. MAMAK BENDAHARA Kamu berdua dipecat. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 & 2 MAMAK BENDAHARA POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 & 2 Kenapa? Semua di luar tu tak puas hati dengan kamu berdua. Saya ni tak marah sangat dengan kamu, tapi dalam sehari dua ni saya tak boleh tidur. Atap rumah saya bocor. Bila hujan, dia menitis kena muka saya. Ni kamu dua punya pasal. Kamu tau apa jadi? Apa? MOHD JIMADIE SHAH OTHMAN 21

24 MAMAK BENDAHARA POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 Depa tak puas hati dengan kamu, depa buat demonstrasi, depa baling batu, kayu bendera, bata atas bumbung rumah saya. Kalau depa baling kepala kamu tak apa. Jadi saya ingat tak boleh jadi macam ni. Saya kena pecat kamu dua orang. Ini tak adil. Dato tak boleh tidur malam itu masalah personal. Tindakan tak sah. Tak profesional! MAMAK BENDAHARA Babak IV, Lakon II POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 Saya tak profesional? Nak buat apa profesional. Bukan kau boleh menang pilihan raya. Saya tak profesional, saya diktator. Beberapa orang di luar tu nak buat apa. Dari tadi depa dok ikut kita. POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 Kita buat hantu. Pemilihan dua tahun lagi, siaplah kau politikus tua. Babak IV, Lakon III POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 1 dan POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL 2 membunuh ANONYMOUS 1, ANONYMOUS 2 dan ANONYMOUS 3. MAMAK BENDAHARA masuk. MAMAK BENDAHARA Hmm, ini kena padam dari Diari Merah. Tamat. 22 POLITIKUS PROFESIONAL

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27 Bird Flu A Love Story 2 Ho Sui-Jim 25

28 CHICKEN sits in an empty bus stop, sniffling intermittently. FAT CHINESE GIRL runs to the bus stop, exasperated. She sits and starts reading a history textbook. Silence. CHICKEN Quack. FAT CHINESE GIRL stares at CHICKEN. CHICKEN stares back. Silence. FAT CHINESE GIRL resumes reading. CHICKEN Quack. Quack. FAT CHINESE GIRL stares at CHICKEN. CHICKEN stares back. Silence. CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL You got lighter ah? Got. FAT CHINESE GIRL lights CHICKEN s cigarette. He takes a puff and starts coughing. FAT CHINESE GIRL resumes reading. A moment passes by, with intermittent coughing and sniffling. Then silence. Quack. Chickens don t quack. CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL Why not? They just don t. Silence. Whilst reading, FAT CHINESE GIRL puts on a headscarf. 26 BIRD FLU - A LOVE STORY

29 CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL Why you dress like that? Why you dress like that? Because I m a duck. You why? Got exam today. Don t understand. I also don t understand. FAT CHINESE GIRL resumes reading. CHICKEN sneezes. Silence. Quack. You still quack for what? I want to be a duck today. There s nothing wrong with being a chicken, you know. But ducks are more famous. Got Donald Duck, no Donald Chicken. But you also get Kentucky Fried Chicken, but you don t get Kentucky Fried Duck, right? HO SUI-JIM 27

30 CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL But KFC s is the wrong kind of famous. Donald Duck is famous for being a duck. KFC is famous for being tasty food. I don t want to be famous meat. I want to be famous duck. Then you should dress up like a duck, not a chicken, right or not? Got work. What work? Give out flyer for chicken rice shop. But do that part-time only. I am really an actor. Actor? Yeah. Act where? Everywhere. Okay. Brad Pitt also start start by being a duck like me. You mean chicken? 28 BIRD FLU - A LOVE STORY

31 CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL No, duck. Okay. FAT CHINESE GIRL resumes reading. Silence. Why read so hard? Got exam. What exam? Sejarah. My SPM Sejarah got C4. Okay. You still in school ah? No, in uni. That one ah? Where else? Why study sejarah? No more space for law. HO SUI-JIM 29

32 CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN What you reading now? Komunis dan Jepun. What happening? British got scared and run away. So now the Komunis have to go fight the Japanese soldiers. So the Komunis is like the hero ah? Not really. So Chin Peng is like Brad Pitt lah. In a way... So I can play Chin Peng on TV? If you don t want to be a chicken or duck anymore. I will be in Hollywood one day. You see ah. Okay. Where do you want to be one day? 30 BIRD FLU - A LOVE STORY

33 FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN Don t know. Don t care. Cannot like that. You must know where you re heading. Must have ambition, right or not? Not everyone needs to have ambition lah. But you wanted to study law last time, right? That s ambition what. My parents wanted me to study law, not me. And you wanted to study sejarah? No. I didn t want to study. But they tell me if got no degree, then cannot get job. But now, got degree also no job. Waste my time only. Might as well be a chicken, right? (Beat.) Sorry. No problem. I like honesty. We must say what we think, right? If keep it all inside, one day sure get explosion one. CHICKEN lets out a big, loud sneeze. FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN You okay or not? Just the weather lah. Every time Indonesia have barbeque, we suffer. HO SUI-JIM 31

34 FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL You shouldn t smoke when you re like that. You also shouldn t smoke. Why cannot? Girls shouldn t smoke lah. Not nice. If I m stressed, I smoke lah. My smoking don t kacau you, why you care? Silence. CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL You got boyfriend ah? You making fun of me now, is it? No. You got boyfriend or not? No. Why you care? Just wondering why a pretty girl like you got no boyfriend. Just because I m a girl doesn t mean I cannot kick you. I m serious. That s why I don t want a boyfriend. Boys always make fun of me only. 32 BIRD FLU - A LOVE STORY

35 CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN I m not making fun of you. (Beat.) If you don t have a boyfriend, can I be your boyfriend? You deaf or what. I said I don t want a boyfriend. I d rather have a girlfriend. Don t blame you. I also rather have a girlfriend. (Sarcastically.) You so funny. So you want to go on a date with me? I ll think about it. Free chicken rice, you want? I like duck rice better. Quack. Stop that lah. Where s the bus? No need to be so kan cheong. It will come. Just wait. FAT CHINESE GIRL goes back to reading. CHICKEN sneezes. CHICKEN You got tissue ah? HO SUI-JIM 33

36 FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN Got. FAT CHINESE GIRL gives a packet of tissues to CHICKEN. Thank you. It s okay. CHICKEN blows his nose. CHICKEN gives the rest of the packet back to FAT CHINESE GIRL. It s okay. You re very generous. I know. I love you. FAT CHINESE GIRL stares at CHICKEN. CHICKEN stares back. Silence. CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL Just feel like saying it. You sakit or what? No, I m just being honest. How can you love someone you don t even know? 34 BIRD FLU - A LOVE STORY

37 CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN Why cannot? It s just creepy. I don t know Brad Pitt, but I can love him, right? But I don t love him the way I love you. Right. I think you and me are right together. Right. You don t think so ah? You don t know me lah. You just like the idea of me lah. Not the real me. Don t understand. In your head you think I m one way. But in real life, I m really another way. You just want me to be your way. But if I don t get to know you, then I won t know your way, right? So you must go out with me now. No. No? HO SUI-JIM 35

38 FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL No. Silence. FAT CHINESE GIRL goes back to reading, but is agitated that the bus has not arrived. You so kan cheong for what? Told you got exam what? So? Cannot be late lah. Late means what? Late means fail. Fail means what? Fail means fail lah. But you don t care if you pass or fail, right? I don t care, but my parents care. You very caring about your parents? No choice. 36 BIRD FLU - A LOVE STORY

39 FAT CHINESE GIRL resumes reading. CHICKEN lets out three consecutive loud sneezes. FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL Are you sure you re okay? Think I got flu. You should go see a doctor. Cannot lah. Why cannot? Got no money, so got to work. If you re sick, how to work? No choice. Don t be so like that. Go see doctor. Get better. Your father s a doctor, is it? No. So suspicious for what? People always try to cheat my money. They think I m stupid just because I m a chicken. You mean duck? HO SUI-JIM 37

40 CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN A famous duck inside a chicken. Duck or chicken, you sick means got to go see doctor. Aiyah, doctors don t always know what they are doing what. Go see them and still sick, waste money only right. One doctor chopped off my uncle s finger for no reason. After that, still kena charge 50 ringgit. If you don t want to listen, it s your business lah. It s your life. Why you suddenly so caring toward me? I m not caring toward you. I m just a good citizen. That s why we study Moral in school, right? Kasih Sayang, Baik Hati, Bertimbang Rasa. Now I apply lah. You want to come eat chicken rice later? If you don t ah choo into my chicken rice, I might consider it. So if I go see doctor now, you ll come eat chicken rice with me? Maybe. But isn t it weird for a chicken to eat chicken rice? But you know I m really a duck what. 38 BIRD FLU - A LOVE STORY

41 FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN See how lah. Here s a flyer for you. That one ah? The best one. You coming? FAT CHINESE GIRL hails the bus. FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN You go see doctor first lah. I will. FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN FAT CHINESE GIRL CHICKEN Good. And stop smoking. Okay. My bus is here already. Bye bye. FAT CHINESE GIRL stares at CHICKEN. CHICKEN stares back. Momentary pause. Quack. End. HO SUI-JIM 39

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43 The New Tenant 3 Teng Ky-Gan 41

44 Darkness. Lights slowly reveal a tastefully furnished upper-middle-class apartment living room. Adjoining this living room are two bedrooms; one with its door open, and the other one with its door closed. Decoration is urbanite and minimalist. A knock is heard. JEREMY, a fit-looking young man in his 20s, puts away his automobile magazine and gets up to open the door. Enter KEVIN, a well-dressed and self-assured young man who is also in his 20s, carrying two suitcases. JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN Eh, hello Kevin. Hi. Still got a lot ah? Nope. I moved in most of my stuff already last night. You went out is it? Didn t see you. Yeah. With some friends. Okay. I go in first. KEVIN takes his bags and goes into his room, the one with the closed door. JEREMY picks up a copy of Men s Health and begins making himself comfortable. After a while, KEVIN appears from his room and begins finding his own space in the living room. There is an uncomfortable silence. JEREMY KEVIN Anything you haven t moved in yet? Nope, I moved in most of my stuff already last night. 42 THE NEW TENANT

45 JEREMY Okay. Uncomfortable silence. JEREMY If you want a car park, just go register at the management office. I think it s about 200 bucks per month. KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN 200 bucks? (Startled, but quickly regains composure.) Okay. So what do you do? As in your job. I work in the pharmaceutical industry. What do you do exactly? Well, let s just say my job is to educate doctors how to use drugs. I hate to use the word educate but that s the truth. I mean, you d think doctors know everything. But really, they don t. You know how many people die because of wrong drugs? So you re basically a medical rep lah? (Under breath, almost embarrassed.) Sort of. As in you re in sales? I won t say sales. When you say sales, people think you carry your bag around and try to sell things. It s actually a very professional job. I have to wear a tie every day. TENG KY-GAN 43

46 JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY Sales is a good job. How s the salary like? (Stops himself.) I m not asking how much. Just the range. Let s just say I m earning about three or four times more than people my age. How old are you? I m 26. And you? I m 24. So what do you do? I work with Shell as a business development executive. Wah, Shell man. I applied for Shell, but they didn t call me. No, sorry, they did, but it was one year later. What the hell man. One year later I already found a job lah. They re very strict in the selection. So, Shell very good benefits right? I heard they give house loans and car loans also. My friend s friend works in an oil rig I think they pay him 20k or something. It s a big, multinat company lah. So what s your company? It s a multinational company also. Which one is this? 44 THE NEW TENANT

47 KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN Actually in Malaysia we re not so big. But worldwide we re very big. Which one is this? Pfizer is it? You won t know lah only people in the pharmaceutical industry will know. Uncomfortable silence again. Both look for something to say. JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY Where are you from? I m from Ipoh. Really? Which part of Ipoh? You know Ipoh is it? No, but my mum is from there. Which part of Ipoh? Actually I m from Gopeng. But I say Ipoh because no one knows Gopeng. You re from KL is it? Yeah. But I travel a lot lah. I just came back from Nepal. Very nice place. You must go there one day. I actually took a plane to fly over Mount Everest. You went alone? TENG KY-GAN 45

48 KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY (Briefly, and under breath.) No, company trip. (Louder.) But still, I backpack a lot. I went to Amsterdam also. You know Amsterdam right? Red-light district. I went there nothing lah. But I tried weed lah. Cool man. I didn t know it was weed didn t feel anything. Then I went to Van Gogh Museum and the famous Concertgebouw. It means Concert Building in Dutch. You know Amsterdam right? Capital of Holland, The Netherlands. Same thing. Yeah, I been there twice. Once when I was young, with my parents. Another time when I was studying in UK. I went to Germany also. I pretty much covered the whole of Western Europe lah. Except France. I haven t been to France also. Cause I can speak French. I have a degree in French language. Wah, really? Which uni did you study? (Ignoring the question.) Not very good lah cause you know, here in Malaysia, who speaks French, right? Which uni you study? 46 THE NEW TENANT

49 KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN I mean, I can read very well, can write very well. But speaking is tough lah no chance to practise. Local uni is it? (Briefly and under breath.) Yeah. (Louder.) But I can carry a conversation in French lah. You know Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir? That s French. People always ask me to translate wine names or when we go to Carrefour. Wah, so cultured. I know bonjour. It means good morning. Or rather, good day. You can use bonjour until four pm. I see. I learned something new today. I didn t know they offer degrees in French. I know they usually offer it as elective. (Weakly.) Yeah, they do. Uncomfortable silence. KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY So are you single or what? I have a girlfriend. Where do you buy your clothes usually? Don t know lah everywhere? TENG KY-GAN 47

50 KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY Shopping here sucks man. I only buy my clothes from Zara. I have searched the whole country, and they re the only one that sells slim fit. What does that mean? Oh, it means the cutting is very close to your body. Don t confuse slim fit with small ok? The size doesn t matter. I mean, you can buy an XXXL slim fit, or you can get an XXXS loose fit. You know what I mean or not? Slim is the cutting. It can be very big size, and still cut nicely according to your body. I only go to Zara for my clothes. I go to Topman to buy my ties because they are the only ones who sell slim ties. All the other ties you find in departmental stores are so big and fat. Oh I see. I m not a very fashion-conscious guy. Well, I am. But I won t call myself a metrosexual. And I hate all these guys calling themselves metrosexuals. Please lah. Just because they use some moisturiser, cut their fingernails a bit metrosexual. Please lah. Even I don t dare call myself metrosexual. Haha. Uncomfortable silence. KEVIN Have you been to Bangladesh? 48 THE NEW TENANT

51 JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY No. Have you? Yup. Like I said, I like to travel. And I always want to travel to places nobody goes to. I don t like Europe everyone has been to Europe. For me, I want to go somewhere no one has been to. Bangladesh is a very nice country. But they re so poor, man. Once this kid followed me like more than one km just to get me to give her some coins. I gave her about two cents Malaysian cents and she was so happy. I saw Nike there there s a Nike shop and nobody dares to go in. It s like Armani here nobody dares to go in and see. Nike here is like, what? Nike is considered branded for them, probably. Not probably. It is branded for them. For us, it s like nothing. (Waiting for an agreement.) Right? Depends on your salary lah. KEVIN gets up and goes towards a CD shelf. He picks up a CD. KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN Jazz. I like classical music and opera. I always go to the MPO. You know, the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra? Heard of it. It s in KLCC right? You mean you ve never been to MPO? TENG KY-GAN 49

52 Wah, you don t know what you re missing out, man. I usually am not patriotic, but MPO is one of those things I m very proud of. Of course, 90 percent of the musicians are not Malaysians, but still, it s something I m proud of. You must go there one day. JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN I don t know how to appreciate classical music lah. (In a lecture tone.) That s what everyone says. But do you ask yourself if you can appreciate Gwen Stefani? Same thing. You don t need to know how to appreciate classical music you just listen to it. I must bring you there one day. Have to dress up right? (Exasperatedly.) Yes. And there s this stupid debate going on about how the dress code is not helping to make classical music more accessible. Hello, I tell you, even now with the dress code you see all these fake pretentious people who cannot appreciate classical music coming in, and then talking and talking during the show. How much worse will it get if you don t have a dress code and any body can just come in? I think the dress code is important to weed out the fake arty-farties from the real classical music lovers like me. At least I go there to appreciate classical music, and not show face so people can see how rich I am. I tell you, all these datuk datins, they re so fake man. 50 THE NEW TENANT

53 JEREMY KEVIN Yeah lah, they re there to network right? Exactly! I cannot stand people like that so fake, so wannabe. Silence. KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN So how much did you buy this apartment for? I got it quite cheap. Around? The price gone up already now lah. It s a good buy. I think the only place worth living in Klang Valley is either Damansara or Bangsar. No way I m going to live in Cheras or Brickfields man. It s so crowded. Yeah, it s a nice place. But I guess it s never enough. Once you move to a nice place, you ll be eyeing a better place. I guess it s like salary lah. I mean, how much is enough? If you re earning 2k, you ll want 3k. If you re earning 10k, you ll want 15k. You know, I read somewhere that there s this theory that says what makes you happy is not about how much you earn, it s about how much more you earn compared to other people. TENG KY-GAN 51

54 JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN True, true. And once you have all the basic things like food, house, car, et cetera, you start to care more about other things like love, respect, achievements, et cetera. But only if you got the basics covered first, right? So true. I mean, look at all the poor Malay fellas. I don t think they care about career advancement, or self-fulfilment all they think of is how to get the next meal. Yeah. Only when you got the basics, then you move on to the next level and talk about quality and all that. So I guess we re at the next level now huh? The basics are so important to these people. Especially food and shelter. Yeah, man. You won t die without luxury, but you got to get your basics first. Like, no one cares about quality food and a nice house, if they can t even afford normal food and a basic house. Yeah. It s like the whole need and want thing lah. Okay I go in first. Need to unpack. Anyway, I pay you the rent first. 750 right? Sure, you can pay me anytime. No, I ll pay you now. 52 THE NEW TENANT

55 KEVIN goes into his room. After a while, he comes out. KEVIN JEREMY KEVIN Hey Jeremy, can I pay you later? I don t have so much cash now. I don t carry cash around. I usually use credit card. Unless you accept credit card. (Laughs.) Sure, pay me anytime. Thanks man. KEVIN goes into his room again. After a brief moment, he comes out. KEVIN JEREMY Hey do you mind if I raid your fridge? Haven t eaten lunch yet. I buy you back. Sure, take anything you need. Don t be shy. End. TENG KY-GAN 53

56 54

57 Breakfast with the Dogs 4 Julya Oui 55

58 AH SEONG, PHAO BEH, UNCLE DAVID and MANIAM are at their usual open-air kopitiam-under-the-tree, run by AH SIM. MANIAM AH SIM UNCLE DAVID PHAO BEH AH SEONG PHAO BEH UNCLE DAVID PHAO BEH MANIAM Ah Sim one cup of kopi O kau. Lai. Did you all read the newspaper today? Eh, got any 4D results ah? You really Phao Beh la you. Today where got la? Dunno some more want to play. Every time you play how much? Small small only la. Today s headline say, another teenager got pregnant you see. See what? Ayo, today s teenager always do this sort of thing. Last time last time all where got teenagers getting pregnant? I ask you, why today s girls like that? AH SIM comes to the table with coffee. AH SIM MANIAM Hey Maniam, last time you know why teenagers don t get pregnant? Why? 56 BREAKFAST WITH THE DOGS

59 AH SIM MANIAM AH SIM MANIAM AH SIM UNCLE DAVID AH SIM AH SEONG AH SIM AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID Because by that time they already get married liao. Girls last time where got wait until so late to get married? Blood just come out, man want to grab already. You leh? You marry at what age? Last time is not same la. Ya la, but how old when you got married? I was 21, but my wife was 17. See. Ah Sim, this kind of thing woman don t understand one la. What you mean don t understand leh? Now women equal to men liao lo. Equal until become lesbian some more. Aiya, where can say like that Ah Seong. Last time got gentleman, so that s why woman like man. Today where got gentleman? Today only gay man are gentle and they make very good friend some more. Eeya, I don t know what happening to people nowaday. That s why today s generation all bo ka si, you see. No manners. Some more they marry and divorce, marry and divorce like playing game. People last time where got like that? Marry means until die only part. JULYA OUI 57

60 AH SIM MANIAM UNCLE DAVID AH SIM Aiya Uncle David, last time people angry angry also stay together and you see what happen to their children or not? The parents unhappy, the children unhappy, the children s children also unhappy. What for like that? Eh Sim, can make roti bakar and two eggs ah? You all talk so much make me hungry. Ya la Sim, go and make something for us since you want equal rights. You know ah Uncle, lucky men like you extinct liao. AH SIM walks away. AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID AH SIM PHAO BEH Wah that woman really siao one ah. That s why so much trouble today la. Woman want this want that. Until politics also they want to busybody. (From off stage.) Wei, I can hear ah. If you all got no mother leh, tell me where you all come out from? You think people who look down on woman respect their own mother or not? Wah, that woman bionic one or wat? The men feel embarrassed, but keep silent about it. They drink their teas and coffees. 58 BREAKFAST WITH THE DOGS

61 AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID MANIAM AH SEONG MANIAM UNCLE DAVID PHAO BEH You know ah my son that day just lost his handphone again. I tell you ah these kids dunno how to appreciate anything you give. Why you keep buying for him? My wife la, she say in case we need to contact him. But true also la. If I were you, I won t buy anything for him. This thing where got important one? Last time I what also don t have. Uncle, last time where got such things. Ya la. Not invented yet how to have? But last time ah, the good old day, we play poker la, gin rummy la, twenty-one la... but now they play computer. How to play computer? All the bad influence la you see. Malaysia must ban computer la I say. Kids only gamble la, simply download la, watch porn la. That s why got so many teenage pregnancy. Eh last time we watch porn on tape one remember. Blur blur, some can see until so shiok. The men break out in laughter. AH SIM walks in and interrupts. AH SIM Aiya why so happy? JULYA OUI 59

62 PHAO BEH AH SIM PHAO BEH AH SIM UNCLE DAVID AH SIM UNCLE DAVID AH SIM UNCLE DAVID AH SEONG Wah you so fast come back one ah? You cannot simply blame technology. Sure got porn site one aiya. Wah, you heard some more. But you have to teach the children. Tell to them what is porn, so they know what is sex and what is just show show like that. Last time people very stupid leh. You tell them to go to war, they go to war. You tell them to hate each other, they hate each other. You very kay poh la. This is man talk you see. Man talk talk la. I just want to share my side mah. If woman so clever, why only so few in politics one? That s why they are not in politics la, because they are smart. You read the newspaper everyday what. Which politic people don t fight like children? Some more talk three talk four all the time. I think their mother s heart also break la. Bo lat. I don t know how to talk to this woman la. Until now, I still don t know how to talk with my wife also. 60 BREAKFAST WITH THE DOGS

63 MANIAM PHAO BEH AH SEONG PHAO BEH UNCLE DAVID AH SIM AH SEONG AH SIM UNCLE DAVID AH SIM Not only wife. Children also I don t know how to talk. Lucky I not married. That s why you old already who take care of you? Myself la. Children where got think of parents nowadays? They are very bad investments today. Uncle if you treat your children like investment ah then they sure treat you like investor lor. Ah Sim, you know how to talk so much ah how about you? What your husband say? I divorce him a long time liao. He want to cheat on me, so I ask him to go cheat all he want la. For your age Ah Sim, you think like a schoolgirl you know. Uncle, you don t know the meaning of young at heart meh? If you look like a dinosaur ah, nevermind. But you don t act like one la. I know you learn a lot of thing in your old school, but you don t have to be old school wat. JULYA OUI 61

64 EVA calls for her boss. EVA AH SIM Aunty got people wan pay. Lai. AH SIM walks away from the four men. AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID PHAO BEH MANIAM AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID That kind of woman very dangerous la. That s why the government must allow polygamy. What is that? Japanese fold paper one ah? Aiyo, what fold paper all? Have many wives la. But one also cannot handle lo. Last time when you have many wives, people will say you are prosperous. Nowadays you want to have more than one wife, people say you gatal. What is the world coming to I ask you? Stray dogs approach, and PHAO BEH starts feeding them. AH SEONG PHAO BEH UNCLE DAVID Phao Beh, what you doing man? So dirty. Feeding the dogs only wat. See la all so thin. Poor thing. People also got not enough to eat you want to feed the dogs. 62 BREAKFAST WITH THE DOGS

65 PHAO BEH MANIAM AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID PHAO BEH AH SEONG MANIAM AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID PHAO BEH Where got? People here ah eat all the time until all so fat and waste so much some more. I give only the left one wat. Somebody should take to SPCA la. Who want to take? You want ah? Must pay some more you know. If they kill all the dogs ah you know how much they can save or not? Some more no need to waste time. You cannot say like that Uncle. The animal donno anything. You want to shoot, you must shoot the people who throw them like sampah. How can people do like that ah? Got brains ah like that? Go and buy buy buy and then don t like, throw. If I can curse them ah they suey for seven years I tell you. Enough la, don t feed already. So many coming and so smelly some more. Aiyo, isn t that the dog shooter! (Standing up.) Yes la. Good la. At least the government do their job. Terrible. Terrible. Go away dogs... shoo, shoo! JULYA OUI 63

66 PHAO BEH starts throwing things at them, to make them go away. PHAO BEH Eh, help me la. The man coming. PHAO BEH and MANIAM stand up to chase the dogs away. MANIAM AH SEONG Shoo! Go la, aiyo! Coming, coming! Two DOG SHOOTERS walk in but only one has a gun. PHAO BEH Encik, why you cannot just catch the dog meh? Don t shoot la. DOG SHOOTER 1, with the gun, stands beside the old men, while DOG SHOOTER 2 looks for the dogs. DOG SHOOTER 1 PHAO BEH DOG SHOOTER 1 This one my job. We must follow law. What I can do? But kasian la itu anjing-anjing. Then who kesian me? Gormen tak kesian me. I not work I no money. DOG SHOOTER 1 walks around to look for the dogs. UNCLE DAVID AH SEONG Phao Beh, leave the man to do his work. Why you kacau him? Phao Beh, nevermind la, not your dogs also wat. Why you care? 64 BREAKFAST WITH THE DOGS

67 AH SIM runs out to intervene. AH SIM DOG SHOOTER 1 MANIAM Aiya encik, here got people makan makan all, don t shoot la boleh ka? Asoh, I just only do my work. The dog all come here what I can do? If no dog near here I also don t come here, yes or not? If I don t do my work, wait people complain lagi how? Why you feed so many dog? Encik, the dogs all people throw one la. DOG SHOOTER 2 runs in and points at the audience. DOG SHOOTER 2 DOG SHOOTER 2 PHAO BETH MANIAM AH SEONG PHAO BEH Tu dia, tu dia. DOG SHOOTER 1 advances, cocks his gun, and aims. He stops in the centre of the audience. A loud boom goes off. AH SIM closes her ears. The rest stands up to look except UNCLE DAVID. Habis cerita. DOG SHOOTERS exit. The men sit down. AH SIM shakes her head and goes back to her work. This is very sad. I also feel very sad la friend. Siao wan ah you all? Sad for wat? Dog only wat. You got no heart la Ah Seong. Like stone already you. JULYA OUI 65

68 AH SEONG PHAO BEH UNCLE DAVID PHAO BEH MANIAM UNCLE DAVID AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID Eh, you act like that ah, you better go and marry a dog. I feel like telling the newspaper la. When the thing don t concern you ah Phao Beh, don t go and make noise. After you get into trouble then only you know. People here don t like busybody one. Why got no law to hang people who throw animals away ah? If got, don t know how many people die already. The new generation s fault la. They go to pet shop and pick the animal like fast food. Yah true also. Last time where got buy pets one for us? We pick from roadside or people give. Young people nowadays ah so much trouble. AH SIM comes out to join them. AH SIM AH SEONG Why you always blame young people Uncle? Not always their fault wat. Sometimes the parents don t teach how they know? Ah Sim the superwoman come. 66 BREAKFAST WITH THE DOGS

69 UNCLE DAVID AH SIM MANIAM AH SIM AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID AH SIM MANIAM PHAO BEH AH SIM PHAO BEH MANIAM AH SEONG AH SIM Because last time people not like that one. Now you see all the young people know is lepak. Ei, you all sit here is call wat? Makan breakfast. Until wat time? We eat very long mah. Where got same la. We are old already you see. Old old la, means no need to do anything meh? We graduate already. You all think I should write to the newspaper ah? Write wat? Just now, the man come and shoot one. You waste your time la friend. People here forget very fast. Today all talk talk all, tomorrow all forget. Wah really something la this morning, now I hungry again. Ah Sim, lunch ready ah? Aiya, wat time only? JULYA OUI 67

70 AH SEONG UNCLE DAVID AH SIM AH SEONG MANIAM PHAO BEH Time to eat la. Fry a big plate of mee and keow teow for us la. Can. Wat else you all wan? Make a pot of tea. I want another kopi O. Teh C peng. EVA enters to call AH SIM. EVA AH SIM Aunty, people wan pay. Lai, lai. EVA and AH SIM walk out. UNCLE DAVID Today got a lot of Indonesians here ah. UNCLE DAVID opens his newspaper to read. MANIAM drinks his coffee. AH SEONG looks at PHAO BEH calling some cats. PHAO BEH Meow, meow, chut chut chut. Blackout. End. 68 BREAKFAST WITH THE DOGS