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7 Section I HSC English Paper one Section I is about two things: 1. Identifying techniques from creative texts 2. Explaining how these techniques achieve something It kind of goes without saying but if you only do step one (identifying the technique) you re not going to get marks. You have to say how the techniques work to achieve a certain purpose (the purpose outlined in the question). There s nothing else to it. Question 1 Text 1 Short story extract a) In what ways is dialogue used to capture the young couple s reactions to the items they find? (2) Two marks = minimum two examples Sample answer: Address the question by restating it. This can be word - for - word. Text one uses a variety of dialogue techniques to capture the young couple s Evidence is reactions to what they find. One example is the use of italicised text for example, mportant Here s where but they Oh man, look at this!. Italicised text places stress on certain words creating you actually ge aren t the marks: by techniques. emphasis and causing a reader to see the emotions behind them. By italicising saying how. They support techniques. the word this and man we know that the item being discovered is significant to the young couple. It s important to identify what the reaction is while giving your explanation. Another dialogue technique used to capture the young couple s reactions are short and single word clauses for example, Books here! and Whoa! Look at this,. By using short, sharp sentences, we can sense the excitement of the discovery and it what it means to the young couple; possibility, excitement and perhaps of a lucky day. If in doubt, think about encountering the story in real life. If you saw this IRL, what would you think?

8 Text 2 Image Two marks = minimum two examples b) How does the image represent an individual who values discovered objects? (2) The main focus of an image is referred to as a subject. Sample answer: Use this vernacular to show knowledge of the medium. The image represents an individual who values discovered objects in a variety of ways. One of these is by the positioning of the subjects collected items. These items are positioned at the forefront of the image suggesting prominence in value. use it. Another way the image represents the individual s high value on discovered objects is by a using techniques which draw the viewers eye. These include the pointed hand towards the items and the use of lighter colours (white) surrounding these discoveries. The eye is immediately drawn to these lighter colours and the positioning of the subject s arm/hand enforces this. Text 3 Poem c) Explain how the poem conveys the personal response of the father to his discoveries (3) Three marks = minimum three examples Sample answer: How am image draws the viewers eye is in every. single. image. Identify this and The use of colour will almost always be available for use as an example (or absence of it!). The poem conveys the father s close, personal response to his discoveries, specifically, how they create a lasting impact on him, in a number of ways. One of these is the use of the extended metaphor of the butterfly. ^ In this case, it s important to identify what the personal response is. I

9 Sometimes metaphors will be present in poetry. Sometimes not. Don t always bank on there being one (or it being obvious). This metaphor is used to convey the change-making nature of discovery (via the Use conjuring of the common idiom, a flutter of a butterflies wings ). This is also seen quotations < in the text in the following quotation: this was the moment (I later heard) that to back up your shot him off on his tangent wherein the son describes how the sight of the examples. Not as the butterfly was the impetus for the father s continuing search for and wonder at examples. discovery: Into the abstruse world and microscopes and numbers. The personification of the butterfly, blue as eyes, strengthens this concept in that it closely ties the butterfly to the human father. When in doubt, have a look at the imagery in the poem. How could you describe it? What is it telling us? Another way the poem conveys the personal response of the father is by using detailed imagery of the world around him. By including detail like sedgy wetfoot shore and a trail of jittering blackflies Atwood is demonstrating the attention, detail and admiration the father bestows upon the world around him. Who is telling the story and by what means is also a good failsafe example to look for. Finally, Atwood also conveys the father s love for the world he discovers by using V a past-tense narrative device i.e. by telling the story from the perspective of the fathers son. By using this device, a reader can understand the importance of the discoveries in that they were carefully, and with great detail, conveyed to the son years later. Text 4 Nonfiction extract d) Analyse how the text portrays the difficulties of discovering what is true and what is false (3) Three marks = minimum three examples.

10 Sample answer: Text Four by Hilary Mc Phee portrays the difficulties of discovering what is true and what is false is a number of ways. One of which is the use of the metaphor of the web. This is seen in the opening paragraph, First came her stories like webs across the world. This metaphor portrays the difficulties of discovering what is true and what is false by creating the idea of a web and the concept of getting caught or trapped in a story what is false similar to a spiders web wherein a You ve got to do more than identify fly, or in this case the protagonist, is trapped. the technique. You ve got to say how. Contrast is in almost every piece to varying degrees. It s a good technique to look for when stuck. The sharp contrast of this opening paragraph, full of evocative imagery ( They V crisscrossed the Atlantic on steamers and the Rockies by train ) with the harsher, less descriptive text of the main body ( She was born in 1894, a bellowed only child ) also portrays this in that the contrast shows the reader the emotive differences between fiction (light, descriptive) and fact (harsh, unflattering) and Use a how someone could be more inclined to live in the fictional world. This is further secondary < technique emphasised by the use of inset text in paragraph two which reads like a fairy tale to back u and even uses the cliché opening, Once upon a time again creating contrast between the light, airy fictional world, and the harsh, less optimistic true world. Finally, the repetition of the phrase/idea Or so she said/or so the story goes further portrays the difficulties of discovering what is true and what is false by the first where possible. This strengthen your argument.

11 showing the narrators own hesitation at accepting the truth and abandoning the happy fairy tales she was told in her youth. Repetition doesn t have to be the exact same word or phrase. An idea or concept can also be repeated. Texts 1, 2, 3 and 4 e) Compare how TWO of the texts represent the significance of curiosity in the process of discovery (5). Sample answer: Texts One and Three use a variety of techniques to represent the various significances of curiosity in the process of discovery. Clearly identify which texts you ll be discussing. Text one represents the significance of curiosity by evoking the common idea of one man s trash is another man s treasure. This concept is created by the use of character contrast between the young couple and British tourists. The significance of curiosity and how it can be a good thing is emphasised by the reader s empathy with the young couple over the British couple. Through dialogue techniques such as emphasis, Oh man, look at this! and the energy conveyed through short, exclamatory phrases like, Books here!, we can empathise with the young couple and are made to feel strongly towards their perspective (of trash being treasure and curiosity as a positive) versus the English tourists perspective (of trash being trash and best left alone). This concept of one man s trash is another man s treasure is further strengthened by the likening of the trash bags to actual glinting treasure, the pile of dark plastic

12 bags glinted in the pale winter sun and once again conveys the significance of curiosity as a positive trait. Conversely is a great word to add to your essay writing vocab. Conversely, Text three, while also telling a story from a perspective other than the protagonist, uses very different techniques to convey the significance of curiosity. In this case, the significance of curiosity is shown as positive attributes The key word here which have a lasting impact on one s future and perhaps, meaning in life whereas is compare You need in Text one, while a positive attitude and approach to life may carry one through to identif life, the connection is more emotive and less future-bound. The use of the the techniques butterfly metaphor evokes the phrase, a flap of a butterfly s wings and the idea how they that discovery could happen easily, at random and by fate thanks to curiosity. are used and how The personification of the butterfly, blue as eyes strengthens this concept (of they differ. being the impetus of the father s later love of discovery, Into the abstruse world and microscopes and numbers ) in that it closely ties the butterfly and all it represents to the human father. The significance of curiosity in discovery is also conveyed by the use of detailed imagery. By including detail like sedgy wetfoot shore and a trail of jittering blackflies Atwood is demonstrating the attention, detail and admiration the father bestows upon the world around him. In conclusion, Text one uses dialogue and empathy to represent the significance of curiosity in a positive light, while Text three uses metaphor, descriptive imagery and personification to represent the significance of curiosity as life changing or fulfilling. Both are positive in nature however Text 1 is more

13 immediate (as seen in the use of dialogue) and Text 3 discusses future implications (as seen in the use of past-tense). The conclusion is crucial as it is here that you will hammer home the comparison angle in this question.

14 Section II Did you have fun with Section I? Us too. Let s get down to Section II. Here are some basic Dos and Do Not s for Section II: Creative Writing: DO: 1. Look outside the short story. Yes, it s a standard go-to and one where you don t have to learn different structures etc. (like a news article) but the short story is often harder than it appears. 2. Have a great character (or two). This isn t just for short stories. Maybe your radio show transcript has a disgruntled presenter who yearns to be a lion tamer in the modern world or maybe your short story about a woman whose husband woke up speaking riddles. 3. Write about what you know. Don t write a story from the perspective of someone with a peg leg or inability to say the letter e without a) research or b) life experience. If you want to write about something like the examples above, i.e. a disgruntled radio presenter, use your own life experiences to strengthen the character and story (i.e. make the presenter the same gender as yours and/or living in the same town). DO NOT: 1. Write a story that has everything to do with the provided prompt (image or text) and nothing to do with discovery. You re getting marked on Discovery as well as your story-telling ability. Don t do one without the other. 2. Write about teen angst. This is the number one no-no described by HSC makers. Conflict is entertaining but try to stay clear. 3. Force yourself to do something you re not so good at. Maybe you heard stories in third-person (e.g. Jennifer landed with a thud ) are marked higher and you default to first-person (e.g. I sprung from the landing, hitting the floor with a thud ) writing. Don t force yourself to write in third-person, go for what you excel in. We had the same HSC expert from Section I sit down and write a short story, just like you would. Without further ado, here s an example of a short story for Section II:

15 Question 2. Compose a piece of imaginative writing which explores the unexpected impact of discovery. Use ONE of the images as the central element of your writing. Sample answer: The first month after Olive moved was rough. Rough like sandpaper, as dad would say. My take? Sandpaper ain t got nothing on this. This quote helps show the emotional entry of the story. We know what the protagonist is feeling and know that this feeling is significant to the arch of the story. What do you do when your best friend is packed up like just another piece of Start as furniture (an ottoman, side table or lamp perhaps) and shipped off to another close to the house, another school, another friend? Adding insult to this inexcusable injury, action of your they ve shipped off to the jungle. Or some other wilderness. Maybe a forest? Her short parents are observational anthropologists whatever that is and decided that story as you can. a year off exploring the unknown regions of the world would do her good. That s The comparison of the protagonists friend to furniture indicates she bull. felt her friend had no choice in moving. This indicates she and her This use friend are young as well as the emotional state of the protagonist. of attitude Perhaps I m being dramatic but you know what? I m cool with it. < Again, characterisation also hints By breaking the fourth wall & addressing the reader, & showing (not telling!) at a the protagonist is creating an emotional connection. the age of protagonist younger We ll still tag each other in memes and chat on Facebook Messenger Olive said age and The use of memes and references to meme culture place helps the day before she left. the story in modern world. It s important to establish a support this setting. Using casual referenced is a great way to do this. character How!? I replied, throwing my hands in the air. You won t have internet and -isation. will probably float around from place to place. I couldn t even get a letter to you. This is an example of foreshadowing, it s a great way to show your knowledge of short story techniques.

16 She didn t answer. And we exchanged barely a wave the morning she left. When one side of your friendship goes AWOL, what is there to do? Every story needs a cause and effect. It s important to establish these clearly. Like I said, the first month was rough. But then I met Naveen. Ew. Not like that. Humour is great way to write a short story. It keeps the reader interested and is a great way to show characterisation. Naveen, or Nav as he preferred to be called, ran the corner shop and one day, on a milk buying mission, Nav asked one fateful question: Buy one classic Coke and get the second free? Okay. It was more like a statement than a question but it doesn t matter. The question that really mattered was, How much money did mum give you? To which the answer was, Enough for milk and Coke. It was two bottles of highly caffeinated, sugar-laden soft drink later that a plan was hatched.

17 I was going to message in a bottle Olive. It s fair to say sugar makes me a genius. It s in all the old movies you know, two people tied by destiny and the very best of friendship will always get a message to each other. Always. Fool proof. A genius plan but best not shared with mum and dad. I ran home that night and printed out every meme I could find, writing notes and memories on the backs of them. This reminds me of you that one time we went swimming and your brother wouldn t stop cannonballing, Remember when I got your mum s hairbrush stuck in my hair and we freeeaaaked out? Examples from real life help cement your story. By using actual experiences and teenage vernacular, you create a strong character grounded in reality. I became more familiar with Kermit the Frog, crying Michael Jordan and singing Meryl Streep memes than I ever thought possible. No one could save coins like me or get a better haul from between the couch cushions. No one. The local pier became my new best friend (second only to Olive of course). Every Saturday I d down two bottles of Coke mum thinks I have ADHD cause of the sugar but that s another story and with a rock or two to help them bob, I d throw the empty bottles in the ocean.

18 This strengthens the metaphor of a bottle and how it represents to protagonists feelings. She is also lost and bobbing along. They d bob along. Aimless for a time and I d stand there watching them, feeling just as damp as the submerged pillars of the pier, but completely dry, putting all my good vibes into the bottles, hoping they d find their recipient. You also need to show off your language skills (this is not just using big words) Nav became BFF number three. Not cause I really planned it. It just happens when you see someone every Saturday afternoon. Buy one classic Coke and get the second free? became the most beautiful nine words in the English language. Followed closely by, Are you sharing one of these with a friend? and eventually, Harper, what are you doing with those bottles? By waiting to reveal the protagonists name and carefully selecting the person who identifies it, we re able to create emphasis and meaning. Shuddup Nav. I ve got a plan, I d say or I m just talking to my friend. Slang is another good tool for characterisation. But where? he d say. It was about two months into this (that s 16 bottles! I m a straight-up legend!) I caved and told him where I was going. We d been through a lot. Sixteen bottles in fact. You wouldn t know it Nav. It s the pier on Old South Head road. He paused for a moment, one hand still on a fresh bottle of Coke, ready to hand it over.

19 Why wouldn t I know it Harper? It s only a few minutes from here. It was at that moment I realised that Nav didn t actually live at the corner shop. I d been too busy downing Coke, printing messages and throwing them into the sea to think about it. Where did he sleep? Did his parents make him dinner? Did he have parents? The theme is easily identifiable and used to bookmark Did he have a best friend? the story. I m I began, unsure what to say. I m going to the pier, eventually came out and I sprinted for the door. Standing there, one bottle tossed and bobbing, the other hanging from my fingers I wondered again, did Nav had a best friend? Did his friend live nearby or far away like mine? Did he know about memes? The discovery in this case is Harper s increased awareness of the world around her. The unexpected impact is the making of a new friend. Creaks announced someone at the end of the pier and I dropped by bottle. Diving for it, I grabbed the neck just before it dropped over the edge. I turned around to tell off the flat-foot who nearly ruined everything and saw Nav, dressed in jeans and walking a lumbering, and very sandy, dog. He didn t say anything. Not even, Buy one classic Coke and get the second free, he just smiled, waved and continued on his way.

20 I smiled and waved back. I ll see him next week when I go back for more Coke. After all, he s my third best friend. This story never states the discovery nor the unexpected impact rather it shows it. This is the most important part of Section II

Key Stage 2 Writing at Greater Depth Standards referenced to Frankie s exemplification materials. Examples from Frankie s Writing

Key Stage 2 Writing at Greater Depth Standards referenced to Frankie s exemplification materials Features Creates atmosphere Integrates dialogue to convey character and advance the action Range of cohesive