MIT MATTERS. Next issue MIT MATTERS: 1/31/2017. Tuesday Weekly Meetings. Programs for February 2017

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1 MIT MATTERS Vol. 24 No. 2 Serving Men In Transition February 2017 Available at: Meeting at the Rochester Jewish Community Center 1200 Edgewood Avenue Oct 1, Duties of the District Attorney, Rochester, DA Sandra NY Doorly, 14618Coordinator: Henry Metzger. Next issue MIT MATTERS: 1/31/2017 Tuesday Weekly Meetings Programs for February 2017 Feb 7, Center for Employment Opportunities for Jail Released Prisoners, Anise Mendizabal, Coordinator: Henry Metzger. Feb 14, Imax Movies and Modern Display Methods, Barry Silverstein. Coordinator: Syd Cohen. Feb 21, Lifespan Update. Mary Rose Mcbride, Coordinator: Henry Metzger. Feb 28, Veterans Outreach and Counseling, Mary Ellen Kesel, Coordinator: Henry Metzger. Programs for March 2017 Mar 7, Tom Brokaw's Greatest Generation, Doris Adamek, Coordinator: Henry Metzger, Mar 14, Trump,David Cay Johnston, coordinator: Henry Metzger. Mar 21, American Red Cross, James Love, Coordinator: Henry Metzger. Mar 28, RPO Past and Future, Ralph Cravisco-CFO, Coordinator: Charles Kaplan. Programs for April 2017 Aprl 4, New JCC Deli, Jason Ferrell, Coordinator: Henry Metzger. Aprl 11, Rochester Poverty Crisis, Ed Doherty, Coordinator: Al Frishman. Aprl 18, State of the County, Cheryl Dinolfo County Executive. Coordinator: Henry Metzger. Aprl 25, The life of a Criminal Defense Attorney, John Parrinello, Coordinator: Bernie Winterman.

2 Page 2 MIT MATTERS February2017 MIT Matters Published monthly for Men In Transition at the Rochester (NY) Jewish Community Center Wayne Smith, Chairman Sam Waldman, Treasurer Neal Tobochnik, Program Coordinator Art Kuh Jokester Gerry Wildenberg Bagel Coordinator Neal Tobochnik, MIT Matters Editor nealt@rochester.rr.com BAGEL LIST: NOTE: Bagel Land in the 12 Corners Plaza ( ) will slice and deliver bagels at no charge, no tax. Make arrangements and prepay. Suggested bagel selection is included in bagel procedure on line at Balsam Bagels will also slice and deliver bagels. Feb 7 Feb 14 Feb 21 Feb 28 Mar 7 Mar 14 Mar 17 Mar 28 Nelson, Bruce Cohen, Nelson Kotok, David Tobochnik, Neal Ertischek, Ted Waldman, Sam Lederman, Norm Messina, Harry Please be present at the meeting the week before Coffee for MIT Coffee for MIT will be our responsibility. 2 coffee urns were purchased for our use by the JCC and they are stored in the MIT cabinet along with a brush for cleaning the urns. A procedure has been written for the preparation of coffee and the cleaning of the urns. The JCC has agreed to turn the urns on at 7AM so that the coffee will be ready at 8 AM. We are currently fine tuning the procedure and will place it on the MIT web site. So far we have a couple of volunteers to make the make the coffee and clean the urns. More are needed! This is a work in progress. Submitted by Stu Berger MIT Member Address List Requests by new member for inclusion in the list should be sent to Bob Schoenfeld s address, schoenybob@frontiernet.net, along with the following information: Name Address Telephone number address Spouse s name Requests for changes to existing listings should also be sent to Bob s address. The requests should list the items requiring change. All requests will be acted on and a copy of the revised list will be ed back to the requestor. your assigned date to pick up condiments and utensils (or arrange for someone to pick it up for you). If you are unable to bring bagels on the assigned date, please arrange an exchange with another member and notify the MIT "bagel chairman" Gerry Wildenberg preferably by e- mail at gwildenberg@sjfc.edu. Notify Sam Waldman (swaldman1220@yahoo.com tel: ) if jam and peanut butter is needed; he will provide it. A complete set of instructions & the list of providers are available from Stu or at WEEKLY SUMMARIES Summary, Tuesday 01/10/17, Holly Howell, Certified Sommelier, and wine columnist for the Democrat & Chronicle, presented a talk entitled, The Finger Lakes Grapevine. The discussion included a history of wine making in the Finger Lakes dating back from the mid 1800 s through today. Holly also reviewed the three categories of grapes grown in New York State. They

3 Page 3 MIT MATTERS February2017 are Vitis Labrusca, French/American Hybrids and, European Vitis Vinifera, and also, the acclaim status of the Finger Lakes in the eyes of the wine world. We are becoming recognized! She also discussed the many reasons why world famous wine makers are purchasing land and starting wineries in the Finger Lakes. Among them are the soil (terroir), of the Finger Lakes, is best suited for cool climate wines. Primarily Reisling, Chardonnay, and other types of whites, and some cool climate red wines, including Pinot Noir, and Lemberger. The other reason is the cost of land is so much less here than in other parts of the world including Europe, California, Oregon, and Washington State. The talk concluded with a Q&A session. Holly also presented a handout entitled The Finger Lakes Grapevine! to the group for their review. She also offered to answer any future questions the group may have. She passed out her business cards to many attendees that have further interest in learning more about the magnificent world of wine. Submitted by: Frank Muto Submitted by Henry Metzger FIG MATTER Facilitators: Chuck Kaplan & Stu Berger Nothing submitted Computer SIG Facilitator: Stu Berger Nothing submitted. From Art Kuh When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in RETIREMENT At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down! 2. On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual Favors" 3. Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get. Summary: Bill Moehle, 1/24, Brighton Town Supervisor. The state of the Town in 2016 was good. Many things were accomplished. The Brickyard Trail from Elmwood to Westfall was completed It is b eautiful and a pleasure to walk on. Empire State College moved to Westfall Rd across from the VA into a new building. Th e poperty was already off the tax rolls. Three vacant homes were put back on the tax rolls and sold. That helps the neighborhood. As usual he gave an interesting presentation and will return next year. 4. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat. 5. Sing along at The Opera. 6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!' 8. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go...' And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:.

4 Page 4 MIT MATTERS February Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!" Now send this to others to make them SMILE... it's called 'therapy'! "SIX LITTLE STORIES" 1. Once all villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella. That's FAITH. 2. When you throw babies in the air, they laugh because they know you will catch them. That's TRUST. 3. Every night we go to bed without any assurance of being alive the next morning, but still we set the alarms to wake up. That's HOPE. 4. We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future. That's CONFIDENCE. 5. We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children. That's LOVE. 6. On an old man's shirt was written a sentence 'I am not 80 years old; I am sweet 16 with 64 years of experience.' That's ATTITUDE. 1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now! 2. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. 3. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the gym this morning. 4. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me! 6. When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on. 8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees. 9. The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes." 10. I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week. 11. Even duct tape can't fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound! 12. Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

5 Page 5 MIT MATTERS February Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice HOLLYWOOD SQUARES Morning chuckles.. Many of you who are "of a certain age" may remember some of these. These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted! Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years... A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not! I'm too busy growing strawberries! Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in my bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh. The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

6 Page 6 MIT MATTERS February Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(this one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. 6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.