Teacher Support Meeting

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1 Teacher Support Meeting GCSE English/English Literature Specification A Poetry Workshop Materials WEBSITE VERSION Spring 2004

2 Assessment and Qualifications Alliance. COPYRIGHT AQA retains the copyright on all its publications. However, registered centres of AQA are permitted to copy material from this booklet for their own internal use, with the important following exception: AQA cannot give permission to centres to photocopy any material that is acknowledged to a third party even for internal use within the centre. Set and published by the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance. The Assessment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) is a company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales and a registered charity number Registered address AQA, Devas Street, Manchester M15 6EX. Dr Michael Cresswell Director General.

3 Contents Content Page Work Sheets for Comparative Analysis - Worksheet 1 - INSET Questions - Worksheet 2 Ideas for Group Work on Poetry - Approaching Poems - Lesson Plan for The Affliction of Margaret Examples of Candidates Responses English Paper 2 - Candidate A 13 - Candidate B 14 - Candidate C 15 - Candidate D 16 Commentaries on English Responses 18 Examples of Candidates Responses English Literature - Candidate Candidate Candidate Candidate 4 26 Commentaries on English Literature Responses 29 hij 3

4 Worksheets for Comparative Analysis Worksheet 1 Half-Caste Two Scavengers in a Truck Interpretations (Meanings) Linguistic/ Structural/ Presentational Devices Language Variation + Cultures 4 hij

5 INSET Questions Higher Tier Heaney and Clarke (a) Compare how the poets present feelings in On My First Sonne by Ben Jonson and The Affliction of Margaret by William Wordsworth. and then (b) Now go on to compare these poems with two poems from the list below: Digging (Seamus Heaney) Mid Term Break (Seamus Heaney) Follower (Seamus Heaney) Cold Knap Lake (Gillian Clarke) Catrin (Gillian Clarke) The Field Mouse (Gillian Clarke) Foundation Tier Duffy and Armitage (a) Compare how the poets show feelings in Kid by Simon Armitage and Education for Leisure by Carol Ann Duffy. and then (b) Compare how the poets show feelings in two poems from the Pre Poetry Bank. Choose the poems from: The Man He Killed (Thomas Hardy) On My First Sonne (Ben Jonson) The Laboratory (Robert Browning) Remember to compare:! the feelings in the poems! how the poets show the feelings by the ways that they write. hij 5

6 Worksheet 2 MEANINGS LANGUAGE, STRUCTURE, FORM POEM 1 POEM 2 POEM 3 POEM 4 6 hij

7 Ideas for Group Work on Poetry Ideas for group work: 1. Work backwards from a response (might be their own) to a writing frame. 2. Hot-seat the poet and ask why she or he thinks that this poem has been included in an Anthology of Different Cultures poetry. 3. Using highlighter pens, highlight linguistic, structural and presentational devices then explain how each is successful. 4. Dramatic readings, in groups, of each of the poems. This can lead to EN1 assessment for a drama-based activity. 5. Use an inter-active white board to show two poems and draw lines of comparison/contrast. 6. Use writing frame and discourse markers to write different paragraphs for the same response to the same question. hij 7

8 Approaching Poems A Introducing poetry Start with some 'scribble' writing [ie: ask students to write very quickly, without stopping, for short bursts of time] Suggested topics - with times a) Name any poets you know (30 secs) b) Name any poems/titles (30 secs) c) Write down any quotes, fragments of poetry you know (30 secs) d) Poems/poetry at primary school - what can you remember? (1 min) e) How do you know when something is a poem? Write as much as you can about: what poems look like what poems sound like how they are different from prose/stories (1½ mins) f) Your opinions about poetry/why write poetry? (30 secs) (Following this condensed writing activity, ask the students to work together - preferably in twos - to compare responses and impressions. This should allow whole class discussion to be more focused and more informed once you begin to highlight some key features of poetry - eg rhyme, rhythm, pace, form, imagery etc. At this stage, it might be a well to try to focus mainly on form and rhythm - consider nursery rhymes, limericks, for example) B Focusing on a poem I'd recommend that you approach the poem gradually - coming back to it perhaps every two or three lessons rather that attempting an intensive focus over a block of lessons. Apart from anything else, it shows students how quickly they are able to memorise quite significant chunks of the poem - without realising that they've done so. It's then instructive to gradually encourage them to explore why certain details/sections of the text seem so memorable. i) Initial impressions (Following brief re-cap of group and class discussion, give out copies of 'The Thought-Fox', by Ted Hughes - or something else you consider suitable. This poem works particularly well because it is essentially a poem about writing a poem - and about the creative process being something dark and mysterious - lecture over!) 8 hij

9 It's important to try to develop in students the willingness to form some initial impressions, however superficial, before going to discussion, exploration. One way of promoting this is to ask them to spend a short while making notes - which in this case will simply be 'marking' some features of the text on their own copies) Ask them to spend a few minutes performing the following activities on their own BEFORE working with a partner to compare notes and explore the text more fully. Get in to the habit of annotating your poetry in pencil - that way you can alter it as your ideas develop Underline any individual words you don't know Put a cross in the margin by any groups of words that you can't understand Put an asterisk in the other margin to show any 'bits' where you know the meaning of the individual words - but can't make sense of what they are supposed to mean in the poem Put brackets round any 'bits' of the poem - individual words or groups of words - that seem especially odd, that don't seem to fit in Pick out any bits of the poem that you quite like the sound of - whether or not it seems to make sense (Following paired discussion, it's worth trying some whole class feedback - particularly about vocabulary. It should quickly emerge that vocabulary does not present any real difficulties in this poem. How far you take discussion of detail at this stage will very much depend on the 'nature' of your group!) ii) Looking for the underlying 'unities' By now the students should be beginning to get a sense of the poem as a whole text - even if it still seems rather puzzling. This next focused activity should begin to crystallise some of the more technical/literary features of the poem. Again, ask them initially to work on their own for a few minutes before comparing notes with a partner. Look for patterns, repetitions, repeated words, phrases, ideas - and developments of these in the poem (maybe draw pencil 'arrows' between them) What links can you make between the title and the actual words of the poem? Pick out and list some specific vocabulary. Make a note of line numbers. What word 'pictures' or images can you find within the poem? Use circles in the margin to mark them What do you notice about the punctuation and organisation of the poem into lines and verses? Where does your eye tell you to stop? Where does the punctuation tell you to stop? Count the sentences; count the lines; count the stanzas. hij 9

10 What do you notice about the 'shape' of the poem? What does it look like on the page (this is called form or structure). Write some very brief notes to show how the poem is organised. (Following paired discussion this may well be an appropriate time to focus on some technical terms. I'd suggest the following: imagery, stanza, line, rhyme scheme, endstopped/run on) You need, too, to decide at which point you want to raise with the group the importance of sound and rhythm - and the vital importance of reading the poems aloud to get a 'feel' for the language. In particular, try to keep an eye on the pairs/groups to see the range of approaches they use to deal with the text. Is the reading silent and solitary? Do they read together? Do they read the whole text - or parts of the text - aloud? It's useful to note what appears to be happening whn they return to the text together. And - OF COURSE - at some point, you need to READ IT ALOUD to the group. When you've done so, ask them to talk through any differences they noticed when hearing rather than 'reading' the poem. It's at this stage that you can usefully begin to concentrate on rhythm, pace, tone and so on. C Comparing poems I'd recommend using 'Hawk Roosting', ''The Jaguar' and, possibly, 'The Horses' - all by Ted Hughes. There are significant differences in approach which means that they allow room for a good deal of comparison and contrast - in terms of the techniques, the voice, the detail and the views of man and animals which emerge. It's worth adopting the same exploratory approach to the remaining poems (though you may well wish to direct them more quickly to particular reading approaches). It's important to make them aware that reading is about making meaning(s) - with appropriate guidance and input from one another and the class teacher. D Paired work on aspects of a text Below is one further example of a means of developing close focus on particular 'bits' of a poem - after students have had the opportunity to work through the initial focusing and discussion stages. 'Hawk Roosting' 1 Which of the following details/quotes had you already identified, in making notes and in discussing the poem with a partner. Tick to show any. 2 In pairs, write in as much detail as you can about these quotations: 10 hij

11 a) 'my hooked head and my hooked feet' b) 'It took the whole of Creation To produce my foot, my each feather' c) 'My manners are tearing off heads - The allotment of death.' d) 'My eye has permitted no change.' (From this point, you should be writing on your own, after discussion) 3 Pick out and write about some details which seem to refer to human characteristics and behaviour (eg 'dream' - line 2) 4 What do you learn about this hawk and his views of life in the poem? 5 Pick out and write about some examples the following points: his power his arrogance the use of ambiguous words and phrases (consider: 'baby swallows fly') hij 11

12 Lesson Plan Background Lesson plan for The Affliction of Margaret The class (Higher Tier) had studied 7 poems in detail, through a mixture of group work and class teaching. This was a 40 minute lesson. Method 1. Groups of 3 or 4 formed. They were told that the poem would be read to them 4 times, and that each time they would be given an aspect to think about, then have 3 or 4 minutes to discuss what they had seen, though they needed to keep their own notes too words defined before the reading to aid understanding: ingenuous, beguiled, intercourse (to avoid unnecessary speculation re the living and the dead ), and participation, which has a particular meaning here. 3. Reading 1. They were asked to identify the mother s feelings in the poem as many as possible. Poem read, 4 minutes for discussion. 4. Reading 2. They were asked to split the groups in two here half of the group to identify the mother s fears for the son, exactly, and the other half to decide what the son might have been like, remembering that he is only known through the mother s words. Poem read, 4 minutes for discussion. 5. Reading 3. They were told that this time they should look for how the feelings were shown, and that they should look for 4 things:! Particular words (not words like )! Punctuation and why this punctuation?! Imagery (quick check that they remembered what this meant)! Repetitions of phrases, syntax, words, punctuation anything Poem read, 4 minutes for discussion. They were asked to reflect on what it might mean if they hadn t found much imagery. Half of them knew the line I wondered lonely as a cloud, indicating the poet wasn t afraid of imagery so why this choice? 6. Reading 4. They had probably recognised that this was a bleak poem. This time, they were asked to identify which part (could be a stanza, a few lines, a line) was the bleakest/saddest, in their view, and why feelings, but also expression/technique. It was pointed out that this was an individual response, and they might well think differently within the group, which was fine sharing of views might be helpful, though. Poem read, 4 minutes for discussion. 7. Final group task. Which of the poems that they had already done could be compared/contrasted to this one? Think about technique as well as content. 8. The class were reminded that before they considered writing about this poem, they should re-read it themselves, looking for other features, such as particular effects of structure or rhythm. 12 hij

13 Examples of Candidates Responses English Paper 2 Section A Candidate A Compare the ways poets present places in Nothing s Changed and one other poem. What the places are like How the writers use language to present the places How the poets use the places to present their ideas The two poems that I am going to compare are how places are presented in them are Nothing s Changed and What were they Like. These two poems are both writing about very similar places; places that had suffered oppression, racism and death. Nothing s Changed is written about South Africa soon after the apartheid was lifted. The country had been in a state of segregation for a decade and as a result there had been riots and civil unrest among the blacks and fierce oppression by the whites, this was a place very like a warzone, which leads into the second poem What were they Like? This poem is set in Vietnam soon after the war. The country had been devastated by a bloody conflict with the USA which had resulted in an awful human cost. The USA also devastated the country with horrific weapons of mass destruction. The new weapon napalm was used to burn villages and many lives in Vietnam and South Africa were both ruins and its peoples were angry as is shown in the language of the two poems. Both these poems are full of bitterness. The black poet who wrote Nothing s Changed uses a vicious irony we know where we belong to show that he feels blacks and whites will never truly reconcile. His pent - up rage is expressed again in the final stanza Hands burn for a stone, a bomb to shiver down the glass. This shows the frustration of the place and, possibly, the loss of solidarity, the fears among his people. Afrika s sense of injustice is powerfully highlighted with the effective imagery of the purple flowering amiable weeds and the nefarious crushed white ice; the single rose which he turns into symbol of white oppression. The ending is stark and poignant as he feels those old feelings of oppression as his hands burn for a bomb to shiver down the glass. This shows even though politics trys to change things, hatred takes a long time to fade. What were they like is also a poem of bitterness. The poems unusual format draws in the reader to the Q and A format. The poems mocking politeness is an effective illustration to the sadness and bitterness of the poem laughter is bitter to the burned mouth. Both poems use this bitterness to show their places as places of shattered dreams and broken hopes. By using words and phrases like but after the children were killed, there were no more buds and Sir their light heart turned to stone, it is not remembered. These build up a picture of a desolate place of death and bitterness so startlingly similar to Nothings Changed. The ideas of the poem are reflected in the locations and vice- versa. The themes of death, racism, hatred and bitterness are starkly shown in these two seemingly hopeless places. In Nothing s Changed the land and the new restaurant is used as imagery to highlight the themes and in What were they Like aspects of the local culture are used to show how much has been lost and how hard a lifetime of bitterness and oppression is to reconcile. hij 13

14 Candidate B Compare the way in which poets use language in Search for my Tongue and one other poem. Write about: Interesting use of language How the poets use language to convey their ideas and culture Plan Search for My Tongue Half-Caste Interesting Lang Extended metaphor Imagery Languages used Addressing the reader Translation of Gujerati Metaphor of plant Ridicules Half-Caste Mix colours are inferior Convey ideas Search for tongue Tongue would rot Eng, Gujer Gets point across Shows she hasn t lost tongue Her language is beautiful Make the word sound stupid I am going to compare the use of language in Search for my Tongue by Sujata Bhatt with Half Caste by John Agard. In Search for my Tongue the poet uses an extend metaphor to make us think that she has lost her original language. The poem then uses imagery through out your mother tongue would rot this gives us a strong image that her original language has died and it is no longer there. The poet also uses and metaphor of a plant growing in her mouth, the bud opens, the bud opens in my mouth. This emphasises the growth of her new language and that it is always there. The poet also writes some of the poem in her own language to show the reader that she has not lost her native language and that it is merely in hibernation. From the start the poet addressees the reader I ask you, what would you do if has two tongues in your mouth? This gives the effect that she wants the reader to understand what she feels like. In the last stanza the poet translates the Gujerati in the previous stanza. This shows that her mother tongue hasn t dies and that it is still a part of her. On line 32 the poet uses a list of three to put an emphasis on growth grows longer, grows moist, grows strong veins. This makes me think that she is getting exited because she can remember her original language. In the poem Half-caste, Agard ridicules the term a half-caste. He repeats the word half caste over and over again so it sounds really silly by the end of the poem. Explain yourself, wha yu mean/when yu say halfcaste/ yu mean when light and shadow mix in de sky is a half- caste weather. This gives the effect that when people keep saying that word they will sound stupid. The poet uses dialect to give a sense that he is proud of being Jamaican. He doesn t use any punctuation to give the effect that he is challenging the way poems are usually written. In the fourth stanza the poet starts to use I instead of ah I m sure you ll understand why I offer you half a hand. This could emphasise the fact that he is a real person and not just half-caste. Compared to Search for my Tongue Agard both use their native language but in different ways. 14 hij

15 Candidate C I will be comparing the way people are presented in Two Scavengers in a Truck, two beautiful people in a mercedes and half caste. In two scavengers the writer throughout the poem shows the difference between the four people. He dies this by saying how they dress, the job differences and by calling them scavengers and beautiful people. This shows the differences in class like everything has its place. I think that this poem is trying to say no matter how rich or poor we are, we are all the same he shows this by the fact that the youngest of the scavengers and the man in the mercedes look alike and are the same age. He shows the difference in class by showing how rich the beautiful people are and how poor the scavengers are. The scavengers are wearing plain red plastic blazers. The beautiful people are in suites. The women in skirts with stockings. An elegant mercedes with an elegant couple in it. A bright yellow garbage truck with two garbage men on the back stoop. Half- Caste The writer is talking about how people judge him because he s half-caste. He talks about how people don t know him but think they do. He is trying to day how he is a whole man and he talks about people saying how he is only half a man. He talks about other means of the word half-caste, you mean when picasso mix red and green is a half-caste canvas, you mean when light and shadow mix in de sky is a half-caste weather? you mean tchaikovsky sit down at dah piano and mix a black key with a white key is a half-caste symphony? Through the poem he challenges the reader, the people it seems he talks about people calling him half-caste is like he only has half a mind, only dreams half a dream, and sleeps with half an eye. In both poems, it seems that people judge them by how they look not who they are. When the writer says Picasso mixes 2 colours; its like hes saying well, two colours can make a nice painting so why cant 2 races make a nice person? hij 15

16 Candidate D Compare the ways the poets present people in Two Scavengers in a Truck and one other poem form the poems form different cultures and traditions. Both Lawrence Ferlinghetti and Tatamkhulu Afrika describe people s lives and how they are affected by the culture in which they live. I have chosen to compare these two poets and the poems Two Scavengers in a Truck and Nothing s Changed. Firstly, both poets focus on the way in which people are treated by society and they both use contrasts between different types of people. While Afrika focuses on the differences between black and white, Ferlinghetti shows the differences between rich and poor. In Nothings Changed the poet shows us the difference between the eating places of black people and white people. The white people are allowed to eat in a special inn: incipient Port Jackson trees: new, up- market, haute cuisine guard at the gate-post, whites only inn This is a description of a clearly upper class restaurant and it is compared to the eating place in which black people are allowed to eat. working man s café sells bunny chows This is a clear contrast to the whites only inn and one of the differences is the food. The café sells a cheap, working man s hamburger whereas the inn sells haute cuisine. In the same way Ferlinghetti uses contrasts in his poem Two Scavengers in a Truck to show the differences between the two different sets of people. He compares two garbage men with a couple in an elegant open mercedes. Both of these pairs of people have different jobs and totally different lifestyles. This is shown in the descriptions of the people. The two garbage men are wearing red plastic blazers whereas the couple in the mercedes are wearing a hip three piece linen suit and a short skirt and coloured stockings. The clothes worn by the garbage men reflect the garbage that they are carrying and they are wearing clothes like the binbags of garbage. The couple are however, wearing quality clothes made from linen that reflect their lifestyle. Both poets also make clever use of linguistic features like similes to describe people s lifestyles. In Nothing s Changed the eating place of the white people is described as: Brash with glass name flaring like a flag. This simile gives the effect of something that stands out and this is the restaurant that seems to shout out to the poet. In Two Scavengers in a Truck, an effective simile is used to describe one of the garbage men: looking down like some 16 hij

17 gargoyle quosimodo This simile is effective because it re enforces the ugliness of the man and gives us the impression of someone with a hunched back. Another effective technique that Ferlinghetti uses is repetition. He repeats the word and to link the description of the garbagemen with the description of the young couple. Afrika also uses repetition of the word and to describe how well the poet knows the area in which the poem is set. This forms the cumulative technique and gives the impression of a build up of his knowledge of the area. One difference between the poems of Afrika and Ferlinghetti is the way the poems are structured. Two Scavengers a Truck is clearly in free verse form whereas Nothing s Changed has a very tight structure. It is split into seven stanzas with one middle stanza that stands out from the rest, as it is very important. : No sign says it is: But we know we don t belong This explains that there does not need to be a banner to explain that apartheid rules still apply but everyone knows that they do. When the poet talks about we he is talking about the whole of South Africa s black population. The feelings of each poet are clearly quite similar, as both seem to believe that the specific culture is ruled unfairly. In Two Scavengers in a Truck, Ferlinghetti makes it clear that there is a wide gulf between the garbage men and the young couple. In Nothing s Changed, Afrika states how he feels that blacks are not treated as well as whites. Both poems make a strong political statement. Ferlinghetti points out that even in a democracy like America, not everyone is treated equally. across that small gulf in the high seas of this democracy. In Nothing s Changed, Afrika also makes it clear that even though apartheid has gone, there is still a great gulf between the lifestyles of blacks and whites. Even though apartheid has gone, nothing s changed. Out of the two poems, I prefer Nothing s Changed because of the way Afrika uses language to make clear contrasts between the lifestyles of the two groups of people. He makes his message clear and clearly expresses his feelings of hatred towards the political system in South Africa. hij 17

18 Commentaries on English Responses Candidate A The candidate uses contextual knowledge about the poems purposefully to support his/her initial point of comparison that both places had suffered oppression. There is strong appreciation of feelings and ideas at the close of the first page: uses a vicious irony we know where we belong to show that he feels blacks and whites will never truly reconcile. There are touches of exploration at the top of the second page, as the candidate refers to the possibility of the loss of solidarity, combined with strong appreciation of the symbolic significance of the imagery and some insight: This shows even though politics tries to change things, hatred takes a long time to fade. This is followed by clear empathy with the writers feelings as they are seen to show their places as places of shattered dreams and broke hopes. Throughout the candidate adopts an integrated comparative approach and, whilst not at the top of the range, is placed firmly within it with a mark of 23. Candidate B The candidate starts by demonstrating awareness of technique with the reference to the use of the extended metaphor. This develops into understanding of technique as the candidate starts to explain how the metaphor is developed throughout the poem: This emphasises the growth of her new language and that it is always there. There is further understanding of technique on the second page when the candidate refers to the use of the list of three and links this with the notion of it reflecting the poet s increased excitement. Similarly the candidate appears to understand some of the reasons for Agard s use of dialect and lack of punctuation, although these are not strongly developed and there is very little direct comparison between the poems. Overall the candidate moves into the range for the understanding of technique and purpose but stays at the bottom of this range and a mark of 19 is awarded. 18 hij

19 Candidate C The response opens with clear awareness of the poet s method. There are touches of understanding of ideas in the second paragraph but the point is not fully developed. The candidate demonstrates some understanding of ideas in the first paragraph on the Agard poem: talking about how people judge him because he s half-caste. There is also some awareness of the technique of using halves, though this is not clearly argued, and some understanding of attitude: he challenges the people. The final paragraph begins with a clear and pertinent cross-reference: In both these poems it seems that people judge them by how they look not who they are. Whilst this is not a strong response, there is sufficient evidence of understanding of ideas and awareness of technique to move it into the range and it is awarded a mark of 16. Candidate D The candidate sets out the premise for an argument at the start of the second paragraph: Firstly, both poets focus on the way in which people are treated by society and they both use contrasts between different types of people. This argument is developed and sustained throughout the first page and for a third of the second page with a range of clear and supportive references. The candidate continues to develop an integrated comparative approach demonstrating appreciation of ideas: The clothes worn by the garbage men reflect the garbage that they are carrying and they are wearing clothes like the binbags of the garbage. There is also understanding of a variety of techniques, for example: This simile is effective because it reinforces the ugliness of the man and gives the impression of someone with a hunched back. Whilst the quality of the comments is not as high as with Candidate 1, this candidate does move into the range, presenting a clear example of the descriptor references integrated with argument and comparison, and a mark of 22 is awarded. hij 19

20 Examples of Candidates Responses English Literature Candidate 1 Poets in this collection of poems present very different views of death and use different methods to do so. Compare the ways the poets present death in four of the following poems. Choose two poems from the first column and two poems from the second column. Mid-term break (Heaney) The Field Mouse (Clarke) On the Train (Clarke) The Eagle (Tennyson) On My First Sonne (Jonson) The Man He Killed (Hardy) Remember to compare: The deaths in the poems How the poets present death, by the ways they write about it. Candidate 1 The four poets present death in many but different effective ways. In Mid Term Break by Seamus Heaney a young boy has died. It is written from the point of view of an older brother but this still makes this a very emotional poem because it is about a young boy having to deal with the fact that his four year old brother has been killed by a car. The poet presents death as being a very easy thing to happen, that the one poppy bruise could have killed this young child. Heaney uses many images in the poem so that you can almost feel the emotion that the family can feel. Personification and metaphors are used to create a calm and peaceful environment around the body. This death is shown as tragic but is not convey in a dramatic way. The poem is very peaceful. The body of the child was not hideously cut or dramatic, just a simple bruise. This is why the poem is just simple and I think this is how the poet creates a calming image to death. In On the train by Gillian Clarke, she writes about death in a very personal way. The poem is written about the Paddington Rail crash and about all of the people who lost their lives in it. Clarke also presents this death as something so easy to happen. The people who died where just having a normal train journey that they probably take every day, just like she was. She hears the news over the radio and imagines all of the people across the country hearing the same news at the same time as she was about the crash. She uses images that were on the news to tell what was at the scene and how it would have affected the other people there. She then goes on to talk about her own life and how she feels it is so important to her to have her life when so many others lost theirs. Clarke puts a lot of importance on communication and being able to tell the people that you love that you are ok, and that you love them. The metaphor of a blazing bone ship is used to describe one of the carriages that burst into flames and the bodies were not found. That carriage was those peoples funeral ship. Clarke uses all of these techniques to show 20 hij

21 how she feels life is so important and that the people who died will never have their lives to treasure. In The man he Killed by Thomas Hardy, Hardy writes about an infantry soldier who has shot a man who was his enemy but if he had met him anywhere else he would have been friends with him. Hardy uses the poem as running commentary of the soldier s thoughts as he is thinking about what he has just done and he is trying to justify his actions to himself. Hardy presents the image of death in this poem as being a job that the soldier had to do. He didn t know this man who could have been just like him, but he will never know because he had to shoot him because it was his job his order that he had to carry out. Hardy is trying to say that war changes everything. It changes your judgement and changes your way of thinking. When the circumstances change so does your whole way of thinking and that soldier then didn t think twice about taking the man s life but if this wasn t war he would have never dreamed of it. This poem presents death as being just a normal part if war and that with war comes death of normal people like yourself. In The Eagle by Alfred Tennyson the death is that of the eagles prey. This poem uses many images of power and superiority to describe the eagle. Alliteration is used in the first line to emphasise the importance and the harshness of the words. Metaphors are used to describe the view that the eagle has from where it is hovering. This shows how far up the eagle is and how it seems that the eagle has power over its victims that lie so far below on the ground. The eagle is described to fall like a thunderbolt. This simile shows the power and speed of the bird as it falls to earth to catch its prey. Tennyson uses this simile to suggest that the death of the innocent and unexpecting prey would be instant. This is because the eagle is more powerful and more superior to the prey and can therefore easily crush and kill the prey. Tennyson is suggesting that this is very similar to a life situation and that you have to be aware of things more powerful than you because your life can be taken so easily. This is how the four different poets use different ways to present death and the reasons and explanations of death. hij 21

22 Candidate 2 Poets in this collection of poems present very different views of death and use different methods to do so. Compare the ways the poets present death in four of the following poems. Choose two poems from the first column and two poems from the second column. Mid-term break (Heaney) The Field Mouse (Clarke) On the Train (Clarke) The Eagle (Tennyson) On My First Sonne (Jonson) The Man He Killed (Hardy) Remember to compare: The deaths in the poems How the poets present death, by the ways they write about it. Candidate 2 Mid term Break (Heaney) On the Train (Clarke) The Eagle(Tennyson) On my First Sonne (Jonson) These are the four poems that I am going to compare about how the poets present death. First Mid Term Break presents the death of a small child of only 4 years old and it starts with bells knelling to a close which bells knelling are thought about in a funeral and it gives little clues along the way about death. Until line 14 in the 5 th stanza you do not know that it is about a death of a family member and until lime 21 in the 7 th stanza you so not find out what killed him. And them it comes to the most rememberal line, which stands on its own and says a four foot box, a foot for every year and you find out the age of the child and it is quite depressing. On the Train is very different because it is about a mass death and a train crash, which left a lot of mobile phones ringing and ringing. This poem was not only about death but love for others and loved ones. The Eagle is about death that was meant to be because if the mouse did not die the eagle would die and become extinked. By this I mean that the poem is about a eagle hunting its prey and if the eagle did not do this it would die and the eagle would cease to exist. This poem is only two stanzas long but very effective for such a short poem. On My First Sonne was from a parent s point of view and again it was a childs death and the writer compares this child to his best piece poetrie. It is written in one stanza and written in rhyming couplets. Also the language used is archaic. 22 hij

23 Mid Term Break and On my First Sonne are quite similar because the are both about the death of a child but Mid term Break is written from a brother s point of view and On my first Sonne is written in a parent s point of view. Apart from that I think that these poems are very similar and give you a very good feeling of death. Then we come to On the Train and The Eagle which are two very different poems because one is about a large traincrash and one is about a eagle hunting or stalking its prey. Although they are two very different poems they both have two very well enhanced descriptions of death, love and power. I think that all of these poems were very good and very well written and thought about. But, I have to say my favourite was the eagle because it was short and very effective. hij 23

24 Candidate 3 (a) Compare the ways Heaney presents the relationship between people and the natural world in Digging and Death of a Naturalist. and then (b) What do you find similar and different in the ways the relationship between people and the natural world is presented in any two poems from the Pre 1914 Poetry Bank? Candidate 3 Both poems are about a human outlook onto nature. Death of a Naturalist is explaining how he lost his feelings and fondness of nature. Digging is showing a human working with nature. In both poems the narrator seems to begin as a child and then a young adult by the end (AO3) This is obviously shown in Death of a Naturalist as the poet uses phrases and words a child would use. (AO1) The daddy frog School is also mentioned. I think Heaney is trying to show that because children are so innocent and new to everything, they see no fault in anything. (AO1) Referring to Death of a Naturalist, once the narrator has grown up he can t see why he was so fond of nature. As he doesn t find it as attractive as he did when he was a young boy. when fields were rank. In the poem Digging Heaney is looking up to his elders (his Dad and his Granddad). He watches them keenly as they dig potatoes, working with nature. My father digging (AO1) The narrator feels like he can never match up to his elders But I ve no spade to follow men like them, showing how highly he looks up at his father. You could also see some of this in Death of a Naturalist. At the beginning of the poem when Heaney is a young boy he is amazed and looks up to the nature for being so beautiful and clever the fattening dots burst into nimble swimming tadpoles. The young boy is fascinated by the way nature works. (AO3) In both poems, Heaney realises that things are only so great because you make them like that. (AO3) In Digging Heaney realises that he doesn t have to dig, like his elders to be a good person. Heaney uses his writing to be who he wants to be, equal to what his elders do (AO3) The squat pen rests 24 hij

25 I ll dig with it. Heaney is using a metaphor. As you obviously can t dig with a pen. But Heaney feels that he s doing his bit to follow in the footsteps through his writing. (mention of AO2 but not explained) In Death of a Naturalist, he also sees that the nature isn t so appealing to him now he s older. It s almost as though he s afraid of nature the spawn would clutch it it appears that now as Heaney is older, the nature signifies danger to him, or even violence. were gathered there for vengeance. The two poems have many similarities and differences. They are both about growing up and respecting certain ways and things. (AO3). On the other hand Digging is more orientated around family and finding yourself. As in Death of a Naturalist it shows how nature is dangerous and violent. The Eagle, Inversnaid Neither poems have any references to nature and people being together. But personification is used. The Eagle describes the bird having hands also the sea makes human movements with cracked hands wrinkled sea beneath him crawls (AO2 but not linked to meaning) Hopkins also personifies his nature, he gives a stream a title his the fleece of his foam. Tennyson, although the eagle is living already, tries to give it human feelings and characteristics. Also Tennyson uses a metaphor describing the eagle with weather like a thunderbolt he falls Most children and some adults are afraid to thunder and Tennyson is trying to show the strength and power of an eagle. (Some sense of effect here) Hopkins feels that nature is god s creation and he wants to protect it as much as he can. He contrasts light and dark, delicate and heavy together. Examiner s comments: AO1: Good. Lots of ideas, supported well AO2: The problem. Little on the Heaney poems, and although methods are listed in the last two, most of them are not linked to meaning. AO3: Good on comparison in the Heaney poems. hij 25

26 Candidate 4 (a) (b) Compare how the poets present feelings in On My First Sonne by Ben Jonson and The Affliction of Margaret by William Wordsworth. Compare how the poets present feelings in two poems from the list below: Digging (Seamus Heaney) Mid Term Break (Seamus Heaney) Follower (Seamus Heaney) Cold Knap Lake (Gilliam Clarke) Catrin (Gillian Clarke) The Field Mouse (Gillian Clarke) Candidate 4 Part A Although these two poems were written nearly 200 years apart, there are many similarities in the way the poets express their feelings. Both poets use short words at the beginnings of lines to express their emotions (AO3, AO2). In The Affliction of Margaret, line 22 Ah! Little doth the Young One dream, and in On my first Sonne line 5 O, could I loose all father now. Actually, this line in On my first Sonne makes an impact in a different way as well. The poem is in iambic pentameter but line 5 is a trochaic beat (hence the need to use enjambment at the end of a line). (AO2 analysis but not shown) This difference is a way for him to show the grief and disturbance the death of his son has caused, just as this line disturbs the rhythm of the poem. (AO2) Each poem has a completely different structure. The Affliction of Margaret has 11 stanzas, each with 7 lines and a tight rhyming structure (a, b, a, b, c, c, c). This poem is longer and shows the lasting despair that the mother feels (AO1, / 2.) It fills her life and she cannot get over it until she knows the truth. On my first Sonne is much shorter. It is in the form of a sonnet with 6 rhyming couplets. Its length shows a concentration of emotion and topic (AO1). It is a short burst of sadness because he knows where his son is and feels he has gone to better place, line 6. to have so soone scap d worlds, and fleshes rage and line 9 Rest in soft peace. Both poems were written in the first person narrative. Ben Johnson writes as himself, making the poem more personal and all the more poignant, as he is not masking his feelings as someone else s. (AO3) However William Wordsworth uses a mother to show feelings through making it less personal, as even if the feelings shown are his own, he has shown them through someone else. In both poems, references are made to the relationship between the poet and child and the pride that the parent feels. In On my first Sonne we are told immediately that he is talking about his child and line 5 tells us that he is a 26 hij

27 father. This line is interesting as the wording o, could I loose all father now. This tells us that he wished he could get away from responsibilities and the hurt he feels so intensely. He calls his child his best piece of poetrie or his best creation, showing his pride for his son. There are also many religious connotations. Line 2 shows us that Jonson believed in the medieval idea that children were the property of God and he could take them back whenever he wanted to and this was always his son s fate. He is accepting yet pessimistic because of the pain he feels. In The Affliction of Margaret his mother is obviously very proud of him, lines He was among the prime in worth, An object beauteous to behold; well born, well bred; I sent him forth ingenuous, innocent, bold, (AO3, evaluation) but the acceptance shown by Jonson is not there in the Wordsworth as there is no finality, and this poem is more optimistic in a sad sort of way. She still hopes to find him living (verse 8, lines 50 53) (AO1) and this desperate longing makes the poem seem more upsetting than On my first Sonne, in my opinion. Both Ben Jonson and William Wordsworth use structure, rhythm and their choice of words to express their feelings in On my First Sonne and The Affliction of Margaret. Part B Mid Term Break and Catrin are both about relationships between family members, two brothers and mother and daughter and the effects birth and death have on those relationships. Both poets use enjambment extensively, although both have different structures. (AO2/3) Mid Term Break has 7 stanzas but the middle three are joined by enjambment. The first two stanzas show the control the poet felt, before he entered the house but once he enters the house the grief overwhelms him and he can t stop. (AO2) It s a continuous emotional experience and this breaks through the structure of the poem. The last two stanzas the poet is back in control, after a night s interlude and he is back in control and in a more reflective mood. Up to here, due to the enjambment, the poem has symmetry of sorts but then at the end there is there is a balanced sentence to show the impact the death has had on him. Repetition is also used here to try and show the effect it has on him. In Catrin enjambment is also used between lines 20 and 27 in the second stanza. (the first stanza is longer than he second, showing us that her memories of her daughter s birth are longer or more important than all of her recent memories put together). (AO1/2) The enjambment is a running on of emotion as she stands there and admires the strength and beauty of her daughter and the rope that tightens about her life. This rope symbolism is hij 27

28 used throughout the poem. It signifies the umbilical cord that once bound them together. The rope also represents the tug of war that exists between them, as they struggle to separate. Neither poem has any pattern of rhyme, as they are more like narratives of emotion and occurrence. But the irony of the title Mid term Break is quite apparent. School holidays are associated with fun, but the break mentioned here is quite the opposite. This break is the break in the relationship between himself and his younger brother. This poem also has an undercurrent of coming of age to it and the poet has used this to describe his own feelings of maturity after his brother s death. Lines 8, 9 and 10 and I was embarrassed by old men standing up to shake my hand and tell me they were sorry for my trouble. (AO1) This obviously made him feel like an adult and made him feel like he should cope with it in an adult way. Imagery is used in Catrin especially shapes in lines 11-16, I wrote all over the walls with my words, coloured the clean squares with the wild tender circles of our struggle. This gives a very visual image with child-like colourful shapes pictures. She created this at the same time as creating her daughter. Both poems are similar in that one is about the breaking of a bond and the other is the creation and strength of a bond that is struggled against. (AO3) Examiner s Comments AO1 Fine - Clear, interesting responses to all four poems occasionally more use of detail would have enhanced the response. AO2 - Strong understanding of a range of methods and how they create meanings. Analysis but not quite close textual analysis. Some bits were there but without the detail. AO3 Focus throughout, with patches of evaluation. 28 hij

29 Commentaries on English Literature Responses Candidate 1 structured response to and focus on death but no compare, so some focus on task (D) explained response to situations/ideas (D) some effective use of details to support answer/ limited range of detail (C/D) awareness of meanings/feelings (D) explains image of blazing bone-ship (C) identification of effects of devices/language (D) implied simple linkage in terms of meanings/ some comments on similarity/difference (F/E) This candidate is generally secure in the D grade except for the treatment of AO3. There is a little evidence of the achievement of C. However, the comparison is much weaker. On balance there is sufficient to place this near the top of the D range at 19 marks. Candidate 2 some focus on the task though thin on coverage of AO2 (D) supported response to characters/situations/ideas (E) supports points made/ some comment on detail (E) aware of explicit meanings/ one generalisation about meaning (E/F) identifies effect of structure (D) selection of material for comparison, though little material selected (E/F) structured comments on similarities/differences (D) The essay hits predominantly the Grade D and Grade E descriptors, though two are weaker. Little material is selected for comment and/or comparison. On balance this falls at the top of the E grade. (16 marks) hij 29

30 Candidate 3 structured response to task (C) considered/qualified response to ideas (B) details linked to writers ideas/purposes (B) thoughtful consideration of meanings (B) identification of effects intended/achieved (D) thoughtful selection and consideration of material for comparison (B) developed comparison in terms of ideas/meanings, though not really sustained (C/B) This hits most descriptors at the B level except for two. Therefore the response falls in the B grade at 27 marks. Candidate 4 analytical response to task (A) exploratory/insightful response to writers ideas (A*) analytical of detail in support of argument (A) exploration of meanings (A) analysis of writers uses of language/structure/ form and their effects on readers (A) evaluative selection of a range of telling detail integrated into comparison (A*) evaluative comparison/contrast (A*) This answer achieves A level in all descriptors and A* level in almost half of them. A mark in the middle of the A* band is therefore appropriate at hij

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