English 10 Ms. Downs ESSAY MNEMONIC. Expository Essays DADS QE. D = Description. A = Anecdotes. D = Definitions. S = Statistics/Facts.

Transcription

1 English 10 Ms. Downs ESSAY MNEMONIC Expository Essays DADS QE D = Description A = Anecdotes D = Definitions S = Statistics/Facts Q = Quotes E = Examples Middle / High School Instructional Support Materials for Writing Elaboration checklist

2 Y N Clear, relevant and connected support includes one or more of the following (circle the ones included): anecdote or scenario example definition description details dialogue quotation statistics facts reasons a combination of these Y N The writer chooses examples, anecdotes, or other elaboration with the audience in mind. Y N Clear, relevant elaboration within sentences using phrases including appositives, clauses, or specific words. Y N The writer layers sentences in order to provide deeper elaboration. Y N The elaboration feels complete for audience and purpose.

3 High School Instructional Support Materials for Writing: A Model 4-Week Course Listing vs. Layering Excerpts from Grade 10 Expository WASL Listing If I could be any age I think I would like to be 21 years of age. By the time I am 21, I will be out of school. I will have my own house and car. By the time I am 21, I will be able to receive my driver s license (hopefully). I would also like to go to parties, but I will not drink and drive because. When you re only four years old, you only have to have fun. You re not expected to do any differently. You can cry to get what you want. You have not a care in the world. Life is just so easy when you re four years old. Layering 1. My first item, the sports jersey, is a symbol of how popular high school sports have become. A great number of students in my school participate on a team. There are many different teams to take part in and encouragement is given to join. Even those students not on a team have a way of participating. Stands are packed with spectators and supporters at games, cheering on their fellow classmates. Other students make banners and posters to decorate the halls, rooting on their school s teams. I have found that teachers recognize sports players and include them in much of their conversations. Often times teams will wear their uniforms to school or a sweater with their name and team printed on it. Sports are the biggest and most participated in activities the school offers, and I think it is important to mention teams in a representation of our school year. 2. Looking back, it was the age [6] of ignorance. You weren t required to understand everything around you which gave you a chance to use the expansive imagination that you had discovered only a few years earlier. A car didn t have to be a car; it could be a magic train that expanded to a mile-long at the snap of your fingers. But now, at 15, a car must be a car and we must become familiar with it, if we want one of our own. 3. [If I were 24] I would have a good paying job or even my dream job. I always wanted to work in a business with an office of my own. Everyday I would wake up in my own apartment and drive to work, with a cup of coffee in my hand. Then I would walk to my office, get ready to do paper work, or prepare for my next meeting. It would be a great experience for me every day.

4 Elaboration Having lots of choices is the reason why I eat at school. I love nachos. I like the pizza at school. Sometimes I order salad when I am feeling full. I have some favorite vegetables.

5 Elaboration I can select my favorite foods for lunch everyday. I sometimes pick cheesy nachos with the melted cheese sauce smothered over the hot crispy chips. If I don t want anything that greasy, like nachos or pizza, I can choose a made-for-me salad. This means I get to choose what goes on it and my favorite veggies, including olives, peppers, and tomatoes. The best thing is I can pick a food that fits my attitude that day.

6 Elaboration General vs. Specific - Sample Sentence Elaborations Grade 7 and 10 The pumpkin was rolling down the hill. I was out trick-or-treating with my friends when I saw the six-foot-high pumpkin with a stem like the neck of a giraffe come thumping towards me in one fluid motion. Time stood still as the monster rolled toward me. In a fleeting instant the pumpkin was spiraling down the hill in a blur of orange and green. I was too hot. I felt like a red clay brick in a sweltering oven. Others like this weather; I find it exhausting. The mid-august afternoon sun beat down on my sweat drenched back as I tried not to pass out from the scorching heat. I was tired last night. After a long day at school I was tired last night. Mondays are always bad days, but yesterday was extremely long. The periods seemed to last forever, and the bells were music to my ears. The man in the car was angry. I stopped at the red light and looked to the left as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel as if it would save his life. Then he hit the steering wheel with enough force to make the wheel wobble. His mouth was tight, his brow furled, his jaw set tight, just waiting for something to set him off. The man in the car was angry. His eyes reflected the brake lights of the car in front of him. His eyebrows seemed to droop as he gripped the steering wheel with both hands. The chocolate was delicious. I loved the way the chocolate felt cool in my hand but melted immediately when it touched my tongue. It had a smooth, rich, and creamy taste and it slid down my throat in the most wonderful way. The rich, milk chocolate melted in my mouth. My taste buds tingled with the taste on my tongue. The music was sad. This cool, mysterious man s music was bitter as if howling cries and screams of remorse echoed from his instrument. My dog was upset with the doorbell ringing last night.

7 Elaboration Grade 10 High School Lunch 3 examples with specific details The overpriced greasy stuff, dripping with juice of some kind, splats on your plate as you look on in disgust. They call it the dreadful school lunch. As I peered down at my five-dollar pile of shapeless, colorless gruel with its nameless odors and person-less hairs, I thought to myself, This is Fettuccini Alfredo? Jumping off a cliff, swimming in hungry shark-infested waters, and wrestling a 500 lb. sumo champion are a few things I would rather be doing than eating a school lunch; the lunches contain matter as yet unidentified by scientists matter that moves, yet is not alive.

8 Elaboration Halloween paragraphs Corn Maze Running through a corn maze is the best part about the Halloween season. Picture this... rubber-gloved hands grabbing for your legs as you run by, a wild man with a chain saw spewing diesel fumes in the next section, the howl of a werewolf just when you think you re safe. Yes, the corn maze at night is a mix of awesome and awful. Your adrenalin is pumping through your veins, and sweat drips down your face as you chase your friends. Immediately you come face-toface with some ghoul that makes you want to wet your pants. A corn maze is all that is wonderful about the weeks leading up to Halloween. Costumes The main reason I love Halloween is the dressing up. What I mean by dressing up is costumes, makeup, funny hats, and masks. Red and pointed, the tail of my costume was enough to scare half the little kids in my neighborhood. I remember one time when I dressed up like a crazed killer. My dad had made this ax that fit right against my neck. Half of my neighborhood wanted to slam their doors. It was one of my best Halloweens. There s nothing quite like putting on a costume. Harvest The best reason that Halloween is my favorite holiday is the party my church throws. What I m trying to say is that Red Rock Youth Center puts on the best harvest party I ve ever been to. I remember my first year we lived in Boise and my mom wouldn t let me go trick-or-treating. We had just joined this church and mom said I had to go to the harvest party. Well, guess what. It was ten times better than trick-or-treating. For instance, I threw baseballs at the dunk tank, ran crazy through a corn maze, and gathered up a sack of candy. The next three years I got to be a helper and herd the little goblins around to all the activities. I ve never been sorry that I gave up trick-or-treating! Dark The most important thing about Halloween is running around in the dark. Many people might be surprised that I said that, instead of candy or costumes, but I love the thrill of being outside at night in the dark, running quickly between houses, not quite scared but almost. For example, have you ever woke up late at night, say 2:00 a.m. and your room was so dark and quiet that you were a bit afraid? One time, when I was six, I thought a hairy monster lived in our heater. I swear I could hear it growling, glowing, slowly rising out of the heater vents. So on Halloween, I love running between yards, jumping over bushes and knocking

9 Elaboration 10 Drama - pre and post with annotations Student A first draft Besides helping to forget the problems life throws at us for awhile, acting is a fun learning experience. You get to pose as characters who are much different from yourself. You can be heroes or villains. Acting is also good because for a short period of time, get to walk in someone else s shoes. With acting, you can be whatever you like. Annotation Score of 2 The writer include details in a list (heroes, villains) Some concern for audience is evident (You get to pose You can be heroes ) Support throughout is limited (who are much different from yourself). The opening sentence begins with a phrase (Besides helping to forget the problems life throws at us for awhile,.. ) and the last sentence begins with a prepositional phrase (with acting, ) The paragraph seems somewhat complete in that it has an opening and a closing. Student A revision Besides helping to forget the problems life throws at us for awhile, like bad grades on a test or fighting with your girlfriend, acting is a fun learning experience. You get to pose as characters who are much different from you, such as Vin Diesel, Ryan Atwood, or even Harry Potter. My friend Benjamin, who goes to Metro High School, had to play a really geeky guy in our school s production of Bye Bye Birdie. Actually, he s popular and plays drums in a band and could be a poster boy for Abercrombie. Acting is also good because for a short period of time, you get to walk in someone else s shoes yourself. You can be an evil janitor, Martin Luther King, or a giant mouse. With acting you can be whatever you like. Annotation Score of 4 The support is clear, relevant, and connected. The writer uses the strategies of anecdote (my friend Benjamin ), example (he plays drums evil janitor), and description (could be a poster boy for Abercrombie). The writer demonstrates awareness of audience by using names as examples that would be familiar to a wide age range of adults (Martin Luther King, Vin Diesel, Ryan Atwood). Clear and relevant elaboration is found within sentences. The writer uses an appositive (who goes to Metro High School). Each sentence provides a layer of explanation of how acting is a fun learning experience, moving from personal to more general information. The elaboration feels complete for the audience and purpose.

10 Introductions and Conclusions Strategies for Introductions A writer may begin with: an anecdote or scenario a short description of a situation or story illustrating the point a quotation or dialogue using exact words of a person or character relevant to the point a brief history/overview giving the background information needed to understand a situation 5 W s of situation or issue the who, what, where, when and why of a situation or issue an interesting fact giving a piece of information to stimulate reader interest a description giving specific details to help a reader visualize a question asking the reader a question to engage interest and stimulate schema for your writing taking a stand revealing the writer s point of view or position a contrasting situation presenting opposing sides or opinions of the situation a combination of the above list Great writers frequently combine strategies to increase impact.

11 Introductions and Conclusions Introduction Scoring Guide Score of 4 Opening/introduction grabs reader s attention. Introduction clearly implies an organizational structure of the paper. Introduction effectively includes one or more of the following strategies: ~ brief overview or history ~ 5 W s of issue or situation ~ interesting fact ~ description ~ taking a stand or making an announcement ~ contrasting situation ~ a combination from this list Choice of support is specific and relevant, and provides a clear, connected lead-in to paper s main idea or thesis. Thesis is clearly stated or implied. Score of 2 Introduction makes some attempt to engage reader s interest. Introduction implies a vague and/or formulaic organizational structure. Introduction includes only weak attempts to use at least one of the following strategies: ~ brief overview or history ~ 5 W s of issue or situation ~ interesting fact ~ description ~ taking a stand or making an announcement ~ contrasting situation ~ a combination from this list Support is not clearly connected to paper s topic, is redundant, or unclear. Thesis is vague or difficult to understand. Score of 3 Opening/introduction adequately engages reader s interest. Introduction adequately implies an organizational structure. Introduction includes at least one of the following strategies: ~ brief overview or history ~ 5 W s of issue or situation ~ interesting fact ~ description ~ taking a stand or making an announcement ~ contrasting situation ~ a combination from this list Choice of support is adequate and appropriate for paper s main idea or thesis, but may not be connected. Thesis is present but may not be clearly stated. Score of 1 There is little or no clear attention-getter. Introduction does not imply an organizational structure. Introduction includes no attempts to use any of the following strategies: ~ brief overview or history ~ 5 W s of an issue or situation ~ interesting fact ~ description ~ taking a stand or making an announcement ~ contrasting situation ~ a combination from this list Support has little connection to topic, may confuse the reader, or be missing. Thesis is missing or unconnected to rest of the paper.

12 Introductions and Conclusions Strategies for Conclusions A writer may end with * an echo from the beginning of the piece alluding to the introduction of the essay, (not a repetition!) * a quotation/dialogue using the exact words of an expert or conversation * an anecdote/scenario a short description of a situation or story that reiterates or illustrates the point * an interesting fact using a piece of factual information * a prediction a statement of what may result from the situation discussed in the writing * a question asking a question as a means to stimulate further thought for the reader * a call to action asking the reader to take an action as a result of the points in the writing * a generalization from given information drawing conclusions from points made in the paper that can be generalized to other situations * a self-reflection self-examination to encourage the reader to connect to the ideas * a response to a so what? question an explanation of why the points made are important * a combination of the above list Many great writers use a combination of strategies to increase impact.

13 Score of 4 Middle / High School Instructional Support Materials for Writing: Introductions and Conclusions The conclusion clearly connects introduction and body of the paper with insightful comments/analysis. Essay ends using one or more of the following strategies effectively: ~ an echo from the beginning of the piece ~ startling or important fact or point ~ prediction ~ call to action ~ generalization from information given ~ self-reflection ~ response to the so what? question ~ combination from the list above Ending/conclusion wraps up the writing and gives the reader something to think about. Score of 2 Connection with the introduction and body of the paper is surface level only or formulaic. Essay ends with only a minimal attempt at any the following strategies: ~ an echo from the beginning of the piece ~ startling or important fact or point ~ prediction ~ call to action ~ generalization from information given ~ self-reflection ~ response to the so what? question ~ combination from the list above Ending/conclusion leaves the reader with questions and/or is a weak wrap up of the text. Conclusion Scoring Guide Score of 3 Ideas in the conclusion adequately connect introduction and body of the paper. Essay ends using at least one of the following strategies adequately: ~ an echo from the beginning of the piece ~ startling or important fact or point ~ prediction ~ call to action ~ generalization from information given ~ self-reflection ~ response to the so what? question ~ combination from the list above Ending/conclusion wraps up the writing. Score of 1 Conclusion is missing. Essay ends with little or no attempt at any the strategies listed below: ~ an echo from the beginning of the piece ~ startling or important fact or point ~ prediction ~ call to action ~ generalization from information given ~ self-reflection ~ response to the so what? question ~ combination from the list above Ending/conclusion doesn t wrap up the writing or is missing.