Hamster 01 Genius.indd 1 02/02/ :29

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2 Books by Dave Lowe The Stinky and Jinks series My Hamster Is a Genius My Hamster Is a Spy Coming soon My Hamster Is an Astronaut My Hamster s Got Talent My Hamster Is a Pirate My Hamster Is a Detective The Incredible Dadventure The Mumbelievable Challenge The Spectacular Holly-Day Hamster 01 Genius.indd 2 02/02/ :29

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4 First published in Great Britain in 2012 by PICCADILLY PRESS This edition published in 2018 by PICCADILLY PRESS Wimpole St, London W1G 9RE Text copyright Dave Lowe, 2012, 2018 Illustrations copyright The Boy Fitz Hammond, 2018 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. The right of Dave Lowe and The Boy Fitz Hammond to be identified as author and illustrator of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988 This is a work of fiction. Names, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN: also available as an ebook 1 Printed and bound by Clays Ltd, St Ives Plc Piccadilly Press is an imprint of Bonnier Zaffre Ltd, a Bonnier Publishing company Hamster 01 Genius.indd 4 02/02/ :29

5 To Stacey, Rebecca and Miri thanks for all the pencils. And to Glenn thanks for the help. Hamster 01 Genius.indd 5 02/02/ :29

6 THE JINKS FAMILY Me, Lucy, Mum, Dad and Stinky Hamster 01 Genius.indd 7 02/02/ :29

7 Chapter 1 Never sticky-tape your little sister to her bed, even if she asks you to. I did, and my mum went absolutely bananas. Mum has a long history of unusual punishments. Once, when she caught me giving my sister s Barbie doll a haircut, she sat me down and cut my hair in the same style. And now, thanks to the sticky-taping incident, my mum has locked my TV and all my games in the shed, and 1 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 1 02/02/ :29

8 announced she was buying me a pet. You re nine years old now, Ben, she said firmly. That s old enough to be responsible. If you can show me that you can actually take care of something, then you ll get your things back. I was speechless. But everyone else had an opinion on what pet to get. My dad wanted a greyhound, so he could win money on it at the track. Lucy, my recently sticky-taped little sister, wanted a pony. My mum wanted something that was really small and really quiet. Me, I went straight to my room, made a list and presented it to my mum. 2 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 2 02/02/ :29

9 BEN S POSSIBLE PETS 1. Aardvark 2. Monkey or chimp of some kind (not a baboon) 3. Bee 4. Husky dog (and a pair of rollerblades, so I don t have to walk to school any more) 5. Medium-sized octopus (and medium-sized swimming pool) 6. Hairy-nosed wombat Hamster 01 Genius.indd 3 02/02/ :29

10 Mum folded the list and slipped it into her jeans pocket. Then she went to the pet shop and came back with a hamster. Later, the four of us were having dinner around the kitchen table. The newest family member was in its cage by the sink, watching us stuff our faces. It was small, brown and furry, and it looked incredibly boring. What about calling her Chloe? said Lucy. (Chloe was the name of that day s best friend. My sister changed best friends as often as most people change their socks.) We can t call the hamster Chloe, my mum said, because it s a boy. 4 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 4 02/02/ :29

11 How do you know? my dad asked. How do you think? My dad picked the hamster out of its cage and squinted down at it, holding it upside 5 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 5 02/02/ :29

12 down in his palm and blowing gently on its belly fluff. It must be very small, he said, chuckling and putting it back. His ding-a-ling. My mum sighed. I m not sure that s acceptable table-talk, Derek, she said, then added: What about Rover? That s a male name. It s also a dog s name, Mum, I told her. Plus, my dad said, grinning and waggling his fork towards the hamster, he s stuck in that cage with only a little wheel to run around on. He ll hardly be doing much roving, will he? Then he had an idea: What about calling him Red Rum, like the racehorse? We all groaned. Everything was horses with 6 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 6 02/02/ :29

13 my dad, or greyhounds, or anything he could lose money on. I clanked down my cutlery. Everyone stared at me. Even the hamster. If he s my pet, I said, and I have to look after him You certainly do, my mum interrupted. then can t I call him whatever I want? Not fair, Lucy complained. It s a punishment pet, remember? My mum looked at my dad, who shrugged, and then she thought about it some more. So, Ben, she said eventually, what are you going to call him? I said the stupidest name I could possibly think of: 7 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 7 02/02/ :29

14 JASPER ćtinkybotéÿm! Lucy giggled. My dad rolled his eyes. My mum frowned, shook her head for what seemed a really, really long time, and then let out a deep sigh. But, as it turned out, there was someone who hated the name even more than my mum. Hamster 01 Genius.indd 8 02/02/ :29

15 Chapter 2 I looked around my room for something anything to do. Normally I d be watching TV, flicking through one of my old comics or shooting baddies on my PlayStation. Not tonight. Jasper Stinkybottom s cage was on the desk in front of me where all my fun stuff used to be, but my hamster was inside his little house and he was not budging. My mum was in the living room, sewing a costume for Lucy s next show. My dad was next to her, watching the horse-racing on TV and struggling with a crossword. 9 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 9 02/02/ :29

My sister was practising tapdancing in her room. The sound was really annoying tappetytap, tappety-tap like someone was forever knocking on the door but never coming in.

16 My sister was practising tapdancing in her room. The sound was really annoying tappetytap, tappety-tap like someone was forever knocking on the door but never coming in. And Jasper Stinkybottom, my very last hope for entertainment, seemed to be having a snooze. I sighed. The situation was desperate: there was absolutely nothing to do except my homework. 10 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 10 02/02/ :29

17 And so, very reluctantly, I pulled my maths book from my schoolbag and stared at the first question. I was already stumped. I scratched my head. I rubbed my chin. Finally, I read the question out loud, like I d seen my dad do with his crossword clues (although it didn t seem to help him much). Eighty-five minus twenty-eight, I said. Fifty-seven, came a small, rough voice. I glanced around. No one. I must have imagined it. 11 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 11 02/02/ :29

18 I said the sum once more, and again I heard a voice: That would be fifty-seven. It sounded like the whisper of someone with a bad cough. I looked around, completely baffled. Was someone playing a joke on me? My sister wouldn t have known the answer, but it could have been my dad. I got up, opened my bedroom door and looked around. There was no sign of anyone. So I closed my door, sat at my desk and wondered if I was going crazy. Eighty-five minus twenty-eight, I said, for the third time. As I told you, came the same voice, more 12 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 12 02/02/ :29

19 impatiently this time, the answer is fiftyseven. I leaped out of my seat and looked under my bed and in my wardrobe, before sitting back at my desk in disbelief. It was then that I saw the hamster peering at me through the bars of his cage. Hamster 01 Genius.indd 13 02/02/ :29

It s rude to stare, he said. I gasped. Not you? I said, astonished. He looked behind him as if there might be another talking hamster in the cage. I guess so, he said. You know how to.

20 It s rude to stare, he said. I gasped. Not you? I said, astonished. He looked behind him as if there might be another talking hamster in the cage. I guess so, he said. You know how to...? Do basic maths? I was going to say talk. I can hear things too, as it happens, he snapped. Like your family discussing my youknow-what over dinner. 14 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 14 02/02/ :29

21 Sorry, I said, blushing. My dad does get a bit overexcited sometimes. And Jasper Stinkybottom? he continued, in the same annoyed tone. How would you like it if you were called I don t know Roger Smellington or Sebastian Poo-Poo? Not much, I admitted. Especially not Sebastian Poo-Poo. But it s done now, I suppose. You may call me Stinky. OK, Stinky. I m Ben. So, Ben you re not very good at maths, I take it? Hamster 01 Genius.indd 15 02/02/ :29

22 Or writing. Or science. Or art. Or anything, really. There was a silence. Fifty-seven, he said. Excuse me? The answer to your question. Oh. Thanks. I scribbled it down. And I need to show the working-out too. Otherwise, Beardy McCreedy will think I used a calculator. He s suspicious like that. Beardy McCreedy? My teacher. He s got this enormous beard. And he hates kids. Ten questions, and answers, later, I stuffed the book back into my bag and took out my writing homework: Describe your house. 16 Hamster 01 Genius.indd 16 02/02/ :29

With Stinky s help, it was a piece of cake. He described my room as unkempt, which is a fancy way of saying messy, he told me. I don t suppose you know any French, do you?

23 With Stinky s help, it was a piece of cake. He described my room as unkempt, which is a fancy way of saying messy, he told me. I don t suppose you know any French, do you? I asked him, fishing out my final bit of homework. Mon français n est pas mauvais, pour un hamster, he said. Sorry? I said, My French isn t bad, for a hamster. Fantastic, I said. Fantastique, he corrected. Hamster 01 Genius.indd 17 02/02/ :29

24 Thank you for choosing a Piccadilly Press book. If you would like to know more about our authors, our books or if you d just like to know what we re up to, you can find us online. You can also find us on: We hope to see you soon! Hamster 01 Genius.indd /02/ :29

Term 1 Test. Listening Test. Reading and Writing Test. 1 Listen, read and circle. Write. /8. 2 Listen and circle. /4. 3 Write. /6. Date.

Term 1 Test. Listening Test. Reading and Writing Test. 1 Listen, read and circle. Write. /8. 2 Listen and circle. /4. 3 Write. /6. Date. Term Test Listening Test Listen, read and circle. Write. /8 He likes 2 He doesn t like A B C A B C His sister has got He has got a A B C A B C 2 Listen and circle. / Hello, I m Suzie. Hello, I m Ben. Suzie