Auto(in)correct Catalog. Happy Birthday. You moooo boldly. What? You re soooo old! I m an old, fat cow. Thanks. Send.
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1 (in) 2016 Catalog IMPROVE YOUR TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE 9:08PM Happy Birthday You moooo boldly. What? You re soooo old! I m an old, fat cow. Thanks. Message Send *I hope you have a dairy nice birthday.
2 (in) About Us Happy Birthday Cards (in) IMPROVE YOUR TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE IMPROVE YOUR TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE (in) is an imprint of The Department of Corrections, LLC, a Cleveland-based purveyor of grammatically challenged greeting cards, notepads, and other nonessential purchases. Terrible Puns! 100lb stock! fpo Low Humor! *Happy Birthday, you horny toad. AGCHB *Happy Birthday to a person who always keeps it cool. AGCHB Embossed! We specialize in terrible puns and low humor of all sorts. (in) cards are available online and at retailers with senses of humor. (in) 11th Card Money-Back Guarantee When you purchase a card, (in) will refund payment price if you can read 11 of our criminally punny cards in a row without laughing. How can we do this? Because a 2015 Research Study found that just looking at an 11th (in) card made customers laugh even if, of all the previous cards they had seen, no pun in ten did. IMPROVE YOUR TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE. *Happy Birthday, without all the crap. AGCHB *Happy Birthday. Don t eat the soup. AGCHB
3 Happy Birthday Cards (in) Happy Birthday Cards (in) *Sorry for the brief message. *I won t tell if you won t. *Don t worry, I m right behind you. *Hope your birthday doesn t stink. AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB *It s your birthday. Live large. *I know it s your birthday, but don t inhale. *Let s go find the urban potheads. *You re only as old as Uranus. AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB t.com t.com 5
4 Happy Birthday Cards (in) Happy Birthday Cards (in) *Happy Birthday, Old Fart. *It s your birthday. Get baked. * Happy Birthday to somebody who always knows what I mean. *Happy Birthday to somebody who types way better than I do. AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB *You don t look a day over 95. *It s your birthday. Get pissed. *Hope your birthday is full of dry humor. *I hope you have a dairy nice birthday. AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB t.com t.com 7
5 Happy Birthday Cards (in) Happy Birthday Cards (in) *I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a bite of birthday cake today. *Sorry this birthday card isn t kosher. *It s no crime to eat the last donut on your birthday. *Watch out for the donkey bastards. AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB AGCHB *Milk your birthday for all it s worth. *Have a Shakespearean birthday, thou moldy fart. *Have an explosive birthday. *Sorry for the lusty farts on your birthday. AGCHB AGCHB t.com AGCHB AGCHB t.com 9
6 Happy Birthday/Love & Friendship Cards (in) Love & Friendship Cards (in) *Happy Birthday to someone who always makes sense. *Happy Birthday to somebody with a lot of guts. *That wasn t awkward at all. Um How are you? *Honey? Are you still there? Honey? AGCHB AGCHB AGCLF AGCLF *Well, I was thinking about you, anyway. *Shit happens. *Seriously, watch out for the buttermilk. I worry about you. *Thinking of you. Not a butt cop. Whatever that is. AGCLF AGCLF AGCLF AGCLF t.com t.com 11
7 Love & Friendship Cards (in) Love & Friendship/Thank You Cards (in) *Stinking of you. *Urine my heart. *I find you udderly fascinating. *Be careful, I m a quack shot. AGCLF AGCLF AGCLF AGCLF *I felt the sting of love when I met you. *You re pretty great. Really. *Thanks for your help during a hair-raising experience. *Thanks for helping me cut to the chase. AGCLF AGCLF AGCTY AGCTY t.com t.com 13
8 Thank You Cards (in) Congratulations Cards (in) *Thanks for turning the other cheek. *Others are green with envy. Thanks. *Congrats! And: I swear I didn t post that picture on the Internet. *Way to go! But leave the jammies at home. AGCTY AGCTY AGCCO AGCCO *I like it when we accidentally talk dirty. *Someday we ll laugh about this. Maybe. *Nobody died. Really. Enjoy yourself. *You re such a talented little dumpling. AGCTY AGCTY AGCCO AGCCO t.com t.com 15
9 Congratulations/Get Well Cards (in) Get Well Cards (in) *Actually, I m tired of everything BUT you. Well done. *Your accomplishments are unimpeachable. *It s the thought that counts, right? Get well soon! *Sorry to be such a stinker. Get well soon! AGCCO AGCCO AGCGW AGCGW *Sorry you re having a devil of a time. Get well soon! *Don t let the sick bastards get you down. Get well soon! *Either way, I hope you stop being it. Get well soon! *Either way, you got screwed. Get well soon! AGCGW AGCGW AGCGW AGCGW t.com t.com 17
10 Wedding Cards (in) Wedding/Engagement Cards (in) *Congrats to a devil-may-care couple. *So happy you two are dancing cheek to cheek. *Here s to you! *Here s looking at you! AGCWE_00059 AGCWE_00060 AGCWE_00055 AGCWE_00056 *Congrats on finding your Happily Ever After. *So happy you found each other. *So happy for you (and the next enchilada is on me!). *Looking forward to your big celebration. AGCWE_00057 AGCWE_00058 AGCEN_00049 AGCEN_ t.com t.com 19
11 Engagement Cards (in) Anniversary Cards (in) *Save the anger for after the wedding. *You know what I meant. *Thanks for always understanding what I really mean. *Thanks for sharing my igloo. AGCAN_00061 AGCAN_00062 AGCEN_00052 AGCEN_00051 *Congrats to a devil-may-care couple. *So happy you two are dancing cheek to cheek. *Thanks for not taking me seriously, except when you do. *Thanks for keeping me from getting too wild. AGCEN_00053 AGCEN_00054 AGCAN_00063 AGCAN_ t.com t.com 21
12 Anniversary/Valentine s Day Cards (in) Valentine s Day Cards (in) *Thanks for keeping me around in spite of my idiocy. *Thanks for not taking away my phone. *That wasn t awkward at all. Um How are you? *Honey? Are you still there? Honey? AGCAN_00065 AGCAN_00066 AGCVD_00075 AGCVD_00076 *Well, I was thinking about you, anyway. *Shit happens. AGCVD_00073 AGCVD_00074 *Seriously, watch out for the buttermilk. I worry about you. *Thinking of you. Not a butt cop. Whatever that is. AGCVD_00077 AGCVD_ t.com t.com 23
13 Valentine s Day Cards (in) Valentine s Day/Mother s Day Cards (in) *Stinking of you. *Urine my heart. *I find you udderly fascinating. *Be careful, I m a quack shot. AGCVD_00079 AGCVD_00080 AGCVD_00083 AGCVD_00084 *I felt the sting of love when I met you. *You re pretty great. Really. *Thanks for curbing my animal instincts. Happy Mother s Day! *Something about that didn t smell right. Happy Mother s Day! AGCVD_00081 AGCVD_00082 AGCMD_00085 AGCMD_ t.com t.com 25
14 Mother s Day Cards (in) Father s Day Cards (in) *You slay me. Happy Mother s Day! *Stinking of you. Happy Mother s Day! *Thanks for curbing my animal instincts. Happy Father s Day! *Something about that didn t smell right. Happy Father s Day! AGCMD_00087 AGCMD_00088 AGCFD_00091 AGCFD_00092 *I can misspell fish with either hand. Does that make me amphibious? Happy Mother s Day! *Butt I love you! Happy Mother s Day! *I was always a cheeky kid. Happy Father s Day! *Stinking of you. Happy Father s Day! AGCMD_00090 AGCFD_00093 AGCFD_00094 AGCMD_ t.com t.com 27
15 (in) Father s Day Cards IMPROVE YOUR TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE *I can misspell fish with either hand. Does that make me amphibious? Happy Father s Day! AGCFD_00095 *I am always full of awe for you, even when I can t spell it. Happy Father s Day! AGCFD_00096 Contact (in) Mail: (in) P.O. Box Shaker Heights, OH Phone: Fax: Online: Made in USA 2016 The Department of Corrections, LLC 28
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