Memoir Writing Unit. Week 4 May 14 th May 18 th

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Gervais Houston
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1 Memoir Writing Unit Week 4 May 14 th May 18 th

2 Monday, May 14th

3 Today s Target/Goal I can include reflection in my memoir to help readers understand the significance of the experience.

4 Poignant Reflections One of the most important elements of memoirs is reflection Gives you an opportunity to explain what you felt, learned, noticed, observed, or appreciated, about the experience Reflection allows you to tell readers why you chose to write about the memory

5 Poignant Reflections Reflections from Mentor Texts Little White Duck Looking back on my childhood in China, I realize it was a special time. Children could see the hardships their parents had gone through to survive, to have success in life. And because of them, it was easier for us to build our own future. She shares her awareness of the difficult and special time during an era when growing up in China posed certain challenges Bad Boy "Writing has let me into the world in which I am respected, where the skills I have are respected for themselves. I am in a world of book lovers and people eager to rise to the music of language and ideas. All in all it has been a great journey and not at all shabby for a bad boy. Took his trials and tribulations growing up in Harlem and turned them into an opportunity to go after his aspiration of being a writer Indicates his commitment for achieving an important goal becoming a writer

6 Poignant Reflections Important Things to Consider Why is this memory important to you? What is the significance of this memory? What does it reveal? Stand back and "look" at the memory from the outside What do you see, think, feel? Think about an interesting way to write the reflection DON'T start with: "This memory YOU MUST INCLUDE REFLECTION IN YOUR MEMOIR Typed and Printed Rough Draft Due tomorrow

7 Tuesday, May 15th

8 Today s Target/Goal I can develop a plan to revise purposefully to ensure my writing engages readers.

9 Big Revision Making Purposeful Changes Revising is tough Took Mark Twain years to write and revise The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn A lot of his work involved BIG REVISIONS Big revisions mean looking at text with new eyes Making changes so your piece does the best job possible at conveying the message and engaging readers Purpose of revision Writing Down the Bones pg Discusses the process of revision samurai sword Explain how it works to your neighbors

10 Big Revision Making Purposeful Changes Planning a trip to the moon differs in no essential respect from planning a trip to the beach. You have to decide what to take along, what to leave behind. Should the thermos jug go? The child's rubber horse? The dill pickles? These are the sometimes fateful decisions on which the success or failure of the whole outing turns. Something goes along that spoils everything because it is always in the way; something gets left behind that is desperately needed for comfort or for safety. The men who drew up the moon list for the astronauts planned long and hard and well. Among the items they sent along, of course, was the little jointed flagpoles and the flag that could be stiffened to the breeze that did not blow. (It is traditional among explorers to plant the flag.) Yet the two men who stepped out on the surface of the moon were in a class by themselves and should have been equipped accordingly: they were of the new breed of men, those who had seen the earth whole. When, following instructions, they colored the moon red, white, and blue, they were fumbling with the past or so it seemed to us, who watched, trembling with awe and admiration and pride. This moon plant was the last scene in the long book of nationalism, one that could have well been omitted. The moon still holds the key to madness, which is universal, still controls the tides that lap on shores everywhere, still guards lovers that kiss in every land under no banner but the sky. What a pity we couldn't have forsworn our little Iwo Jima scene and planted instead a banner acceptable to all a simple white handkerchief, perhaps, symbol of the common cold, which, like the moon, affects us all! What suggestions would you give this author?

11 Big Revision Making Purposeful Changes Revision plan Make your revisions purposeful and deliberate Sample

12 Big Revision Making Purposeful Changes The moon, it turns out, is a great place for men. One-sixth gravity must be a lot of fun, and when Armstrong and Aldrin went into their bouncy little dance, like two happy children, it was a moment not only of triumph but of joy. The moon, on the other hand, is a poor place for flags. Ours looked stiff and awkward, trying to float on the breeze that does not blow. (There must be a lesson here somewhere.) It is traditional, of course, for explorers to plant the flag, but it struck us, as we watched with awe and admiration and pride, that our two fellows were universal men, not national men, and should have been equipped accordingly. Like every great river and every great sea, the moon belongs to none and belongs to all. It still holds the key to madness, still controls the tides that lap on shores everywhere, still guards the lovers that kiss in every land under no banner but the sky. What a pity that in our moment of triumph we did not forswear the familiar Iwo Jima scene and plant instead a device acceptable to all: a limp white handkerchief, perhaps, symbol of the common cold, which, like the moon, affect us all, unites us all!

13 Big Revision Making Purposeful Changes Turn and share one idea you have for your revision using the revision plan Look carefully at your dialogue Is it realistic and believable? TED Ed: Three Anti-Social Skills to Improve Writing Complete the revision plan for your own writing You will turn in your revision plan when the final draft is due Don t just make corrections on your memoir Duplicate the draft and work in the duplicate so you have your original version to refer back to if you re not happy with a change you made Homework Due Thursday Use your revision plan to change/improve your memoir Type and print your REVISED draft

14 Wednesday, May 16th

15 Today s Target/Goal I can add relevant descriptive details to my writing by using precise words and phrases to show, not tell.

16 Revising to Show, Not Tell During revisions, you want to ensure your readers feel as though they are experiencing the events alongside the characters Writing Down the Bones pg. 75 Breath life into your writing

17 Revising to Show, Not Tell Strategies to breath life into your writing Snapshot Use small, simple details to create picture Create a picture that plants a clear image in readers mind Example Chicken Soup for the Soul "The Man in the Green Pickup I didn't know the man. I didn't even know his name. But he changed my life as a writer, and over the years I often felt as though I sat with him in his green Forest Service pickup every day at noon. Each day, he ate a boloneyand-processed-cheese sandwich on white bread with mayo. After he took his last bite, he brushed the crumbs off his lap and swiped the mayo from the corners of his mouth. He poured a plastic cup of instant coffee from his Stanley thermos and set the cup on the dash.

18 Revising to Show, Not Tell Strategies to breath life into your writing Thought shot When the narrator or character reveals his/her thoughts Sometimes set apart from the narration by use of italics or parentheses Example Chicken Soup for the Soul "The Secret Life of a Teenage Author For the first time in my life I found something I was both good at and enjoyed doing not like studying for the SATs (which I'd started in seventh grade, at my parents' insistence), or playing piano for six hours.

19 Revising to Show, Not Tell Strategies to breath life into your writing Dialogue Writing the actual conversation occurring in a scene Activates the "audio" in the scene for readers Example One Last Time Eating in silence I looked straight ahead at the vines, and only when we were finished with cookies did we talk. Are you tired? she asked. No, but I got a sliver from the frame, I told her. I showed her the web of skin between my thumb and index finger. She wrinkled her forehead but said it was nothing. How many trays did you do? I looked straight ahead, not answering at first. I recounted in my mind the whole morning of bend, cut, pour again and again, before answering a feeble thirty-seven. No elaboration, no detail.

20 Revising to Show, Not Tell Strategies to breath life into your writing Slo-mo TED Ed: Slowing Down Time Describe what s happening like you are watching the frame-byframe replay of a sporting event Allows readers to envision every single action in the event Good way to draw readers attention to pivotal moments Example Exploding a Moment Spilled Milk" I watched myself begin the horrible deed. My hand seemed to suddenly have a will of its own. It picked up the milk carton. The spout was already open. My arm extended over Carol s head, tipping the carton. The liquid poured in a slow, steady, thick, unending stream down through her long blonde hair, soaking the back of her clothes and running onto the floor. As the milk reached the floor I shifted the spout slightly to begin another long milky journey down the front of her. It poured over her forehead and into her eyes, running in rivers down each side of her nose, converging on her chin and splashing onto her plate. Her food was soon awash and the milk poured over the edge of her plate and ran into her lap. And still I poured on it was too late to stop now. The rapture of it all; oh, sweet revenge.

21 Revising to Show, Not Tell Strategies to breath life into your writing Figurative Language Figurative language especially similes, metaphors, and personification can go a long way toward creating imagery Example One Last Time As soon as we were on the rural roads outside Fresno, the dust and sand began to be sucked into the bus, whipping about like irate wasps as the gravel ticked about us. We closed our eyes, clotted up our mouths that wanted to open with embarrassed laughter because we couldn t believe we were on that bus with those people and the dust attacking us for no reason.

22 Revising to Show, Not Tell Crow Call Telling Example My father could tell that I really wanted that flannel shirt, so even though it was not appropriate for me, he bought it anyway. Crow Call Showing Example My father had bought the shirt for me. In town to buy groceries, he had noticed my hesitating in front of Kronenberg's window. The plaid hunting shirts had been in the store window for a month-the popular red-and-black and green-and-black ones toward the front, clothing mannequins holding duck decoys; but my shirt, the rainbow plaid, hung separately on a wooden hanger toward the back of the display. (Snapshot) I had lingered in front of Kronenberg's window every chance I had since the hunting shirts had appeared. My sister had rolled her eyes in disdain. "Daddy," she pointed out to him as we entered Kronenberg's, "that's a man's shirt." (Slo-mo) The salesman had smiled and said dubiously, "I don't quite think "You know, Lizzie," my father had said to me as the salesman wrapped the shirt, "buying this shirt is probably a very practical thing to do. You will never ever outgrow this shirt. " (Dialogue)

23 Revising to Show, Not Tell Locate a few places where you have told the about an experience instead of showing it Try one or more of the strategies below to show, not tell Strategies to breath life into your writing Snapshot Writer creates a still picture that plants a clear image in readers minds Thought shot Used when the narrator or character reveals his or her thoughts Sometimes set apart from the narration by use of italics or parentheses Dialogue By writing the actual conversation occurring in a scene, the writer can activate the "audio" in the scene for readers Slo-mo Like watching the frame-by-frame replay of a sporting event, writing a scene in slow motion allows readers to envision every single action in the event and feel engaged Figurative Language Figurative language especially similes, metaphors, and personification can go a long way toward creating great imagery

24 Thursday, May 17th

25 Today s Target/Goal I can determine and use the type of transition words, phrases, and clauses to make my writing flow.

26 Transitions Why would you use transition words and phrases in a memoir? Convey sequence Signal shifts from one time frame to another Signal shifts from one setting to another Show relationships among experiences Show relationships among events Why are transitions important? Make your writing easier to read and follow Three types of transitions Transitional words Transitional phrases Transitional clauses

27 Transitions Transitional Words Single word Signal when to move forward, slow down, or stop Often separated from the rest of the sentence by a comma Examples Go forward: Next, Additionally, Later, Then, Now Slow down: However, Nevertheless, Similarly, Although, Likewise Stop: Therefore, Thus, Consequently Transitional Phrases Short but more than one word Signal when to move forward, slow down, or stop Do not have a subject and verb but may have one or the other Examples On the other hand, In conclusion, To illustrate, In spite of

28 Transitions Transitional Clauses Add information More specific to the writing Have a subject and a verb Examples After the excitement died down, Before the plane took off, As the milk poured down her face, Transitions list Use when you need to: Show a change in time and/or place Add an idea or thought Illustrate or explain an idea Compare/contrast ideas Show a result Emphasize or summarize an idea

29 Peer Revising Partners Directions Complete both sides of the page Answer each question on the page Offer feedback based on how you answer each question Record feedback on paper and on the memoir Be thorough, be specific, BE PICKY Help your partner make the most out of their writing After reading the memoir and offering feedback, score the memoir on the rubric (back of page) Total up the points you scored Make a suggestion on what you think the author should focus on revising Homework Due tomorrow Finish working through both sides of the page and offering feedback to your partner

30 Friday, May 18th

31 Today s Target/Goal I can properly use commas in compound and complex sentences.

32 Comma Review Clause Group of related words containing a subject and a verb Dependent clause Clause that cannot stand by itself and make sense Independent clause Clause that expresses a complete thought and can stand alone Conjunction A joiner; word that connects/conjoins parts of a sentence Coordinating conjunction A word that joins two independent clauses, or sentences, together (FANBOYS) Subordinating conjunction Establishes the relationship between the dependent clause and the rest of the sentence and comes at the beginning of a dependent clause (AAAWWUBBIS)

33 Comma Review What s the rule? Record at least two of the sentences in your notebook I hated the way the water tasted like sand and salt, so I didn t let another drop get in my mouth. Every day was a happy day, and every night was peaceful. Steven says you re in shock, but I think you re just lazy. Do you want to meet at 9 a.m., or would you rather meet earlier?

34 Comma Review Rule Record with the sentences Use a comma in front of coordinating conjunctions (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So) when joining two complete sentences (i.e., independent clauses) Sentence, For And Nor But Or Yet So, sentence

35 Comma Review What s the rule? Record at least two of the sentences in your notebook Since Steven spent his money on candy, he cannot go to college. While Steven went to the Olympics, he now loathes running. Before you go to Target, make sure you have a list. Although I like cupcakes, I prefer donuts. After he won the Olympics, Steven s life took a turn for the worst.

36 Comma Review Rule Record with the sentences If a sentence starts with a dependent clause, place a comma between the dependent clause and the independent clause Although After As When While Unless Before Because If Since Dependent clause, independent clause. Because If you join two subordinating clauses with BECAUSE, do not put a comma before or after BECAUSE Example Steven went to the forest BECAUSE he loves walking among the trees.

37 Peer Revising Partners Directions Complete both sides of the page Answer each question on the page Offer feedback based on how you answer each question Record feedback on paper and on the memoir Be thorough, be specific, BE PICKY Help your partner make the most out of their writing After reading the memoir and offering feedback, score the memoir on the rubric (back of page) Total up the points you scored Make a suggestion on what you think the author should focus on revising Homework Due Monday Finish working through both sides of the page and offering feedback to your partner

4 PARTS. Prewriting 20 pts Rough Draft 20 pts Peer Edit Work Sheet 20 pts Final Draft 40 pts

4 PARTS. Prewriting 20 pts Rough Draft 20 pts Peer Edit Work Sheet 20 pts Final Draft 40 pts PROCESS PAPER 2 4 PARTS Prewriting 20 pts Rough Draft 20 pts Peer Edit Work Sheet 20 pts Final Draft 40 pts LITERARY ANALYSIS ESSAY What is one theme of the short story that you are analyzing? What are