The Writers Studio Over-50 Online Writing Workshop Winter with Peter Krass. From: The Old Economy Husband A story by Lesley Dormen

Transcription

1 The Writers Studio Over-50 Online Writing Workshop Winter with Peter Krass Week 1 exercise: Dormen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From: The Old Economy Husband A story by Lesley Dormen It was that summer, the summer we were fifty and the little Cuban boy went home to no mother, not the first West Nile virus summer but the second, the Hillary and Survivor summer, you know that summer, the summer the women were manhandled in the park and the kids lined up for Harry Potter, the summer we were fifty, all of us, fifty and holding, the ones a little older and the ones a little younger, fifty and holding, like thirty and holding only fifty, and it was summer and the ones who were rich were and the ones who weren t weren t but we were all fifty, every one of us, and holding. We were in the city that summer because we couldn t afford a vacation and we couldn t afford a beach house, because our oven died and it was vintage 1929 or something and connected to the dishwasher in some complicated way having to do with converted residential hotels in other words irreplaceable and one thing led to another and now we had twenty thousand dollars worth of European-made appliances on order. It was the summer we renovated the kitchen. Will you call the Miele place in the morning? I asked Richard. Will you remember to because I can t face it. Will you? Our contractor was useless. Also he was in Brazil. I ll do it, Richard said. I said I would. Because you have to, sweetie, okay? What was I, deaf? He said he would.

2 One minute I was disgusted with myself for owning a fancy dishwasher I couldn t even pronounce Meal? Mee-lay? May-lay? the next I was in a rage over the incompetence of the people responsible for getting it to me. Those were the two ways I was. Everything that used to be in the kitchen was spread out all over the living room one thing about renovation was you saw all the stuff you never used with sickening clarity, the useless stupid juice glasses and the dust-encrusted early-eighties cappuccino maker and the rusted flour sifter and the grimy oven mitts from the Caribbean vacations, cartons of junk you dragged guiltily down the hall to the recycling room for the building staff to pick over. The bathroom was now the acting kitchen and a lot of stuff that used to be in the living room, specifically the dining room, was in my office. We ate dinner there, in front of the TV. It was summer so there was nothing on. We were watching a biography of the actress Jane Seymour, Dr. Quinn, with the hair. How her first husband left her and her life was terrible, then she had a baby, then her life was terrible again, then she had another baby. Like that. Terrible, baby, terrible, baby, commercial, baby, baby, with some husbands thrown in and a castle and the hair. ~~~~~~~~~ Excerpted from: The Best Place to Be, by Lesley Dormen (Simon & Schuster; 2007). ~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 NOTES About The Author Lesley Dormen is associate director of The Writers Studio, and one of the school s long-time teachers. She grew up in Shaker Heights, Ohio, and now lives in New York City. Dormen s short stories have been published in magazines and journals that include The Atlantic Monthly, Ploughshares, Five Points, Open City, Glimmer Train and Epiphany. Her stories have been short-listed for Best American Short Stories and included in the anthology Twenty Over Forty. Her essays have appeared in The New York Times, Elle, and Vanity Fair, among other publications, and the anthology Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression. Lesley received a fellowship in fiction from the New York Foundation for the Arts, and she s a Yaddo and MacDowell Fellow. Narrative Technique Lesley Dormen s book, The Best Place to Be, is neither a novel nor a random collection of short stories, but rather, a book-length collection of eight linked short stories. All are narrated by Dormen s first-person persona narrator, Grace Hanford. This excerpt is from the opening of the first story. While Grace and Dormen share several autobiographical facts, Grace is a character Dormen has created on the page. In an interview, Dormen said, My novel is both autobiographical and completely created. Grace is no more me than Alex is my actual brother or Richard my actual husband. Also, although this is a first-person persona narrator (PN), we don t hear I until the third paragraph. That s when Grace asks her husband Richard to call the appliance company in the morning. Before that, the PN speaks in the first-person plural, her we referring to two different groups. The first we, in paragraph 1, refers to all the women who, including the PN, are fifty and holding. Then, in the paragraph 2, we get the second we, which refers to the narrator and her husband. They re the ones who can t afford a vacation because they ve spent so much on kitchen appliances. Note that Dormen s opening paragraph is one very long sentence all the way from It was that summer to and holding. Strictly speaking, it s a series of run-ons, but Grace isn t speaking strictly. She s speaking the way she does, with one idea leading to another, leading to a third, a fourth and so on. Why would Dormen want to open her book with this long (nearly 115 words) and technically ungrammatical gush? To reveal the I. This is how her narrator speaks, thinks, acts. For the story to work, Dormen knew she d need to let Grace be Grace.

4 There s also a good deal of humor. Some examples: Our contractor was useless. Also he was in Brazil. What was I, deaf? He said he would. Like that. Terrible, baby, terrible, baby, commercial, baby, baby, with some husbands thrown in and a castle and the hair. These aren t jokes exactly, but they make the story a lot of fun. And they also do something even more important: they make the PN bearable. After all, the life she s complaining about is a life of privilege. She and her husband usually go on a summer vacation or rent a beach house. They live in a big New York City apartment building, a former residential hotel and likely quite luxurious, complete with a staff to help them with things like recycling. And they can afford, with only a little scrimping, $20,000 worth of kitchen appliances. Without the humor, the PN s complaining would be hard to take. Another powerful aspect of Dormen s technique is the accumulation of details. These evoke the narrator s world and help the reader get to know her. In this short excerpt, we learn what kind of building she lives in, what brand of appliances she has bought, how much they paid for the appliances, the fact that she works at home, what she and her husband watch on TV, and lots more. We even learn about the unused junk in their kitchen cabinets: the useless stupid juice glasses and the dust-encrusted early-eighties cappuccino maker and the rusted flour sifter and the grimy oven mitts from the Caribbean vacations. All this works in the service of revealing the first-person PN. Not everyone has a cappuccinomaker moldering away unused. Grace does. She does sometimes talk about herself, too. See the paragraph beginning, One minute I was disgusted with myself It s all the PN talking about herself. Along with a funny bit about not knowing how to pronounce the brand name Miele. Finally, note how the PN sets the scene. It was that summer, she begins, and then lists some of the highlights of that summer: the Cuban boy, Harry Potter, Hillary (Clinton), manhandling in the park, West Nile Virus (again). These are not necessarily the most important events of that summer, but they re the events that mattered most to Grace. This is her story, so she gets to pick what s noticed. And in so doing, the PN reveals Grace to the reader. Exercise Create a first-person PN who is not you. Have them begin by talking about one or more we s they belong to, the way Dormen s PN first talks about the women who are fifty and holding and then she and her husband. Let your PN set the scene by recounting events, trends and other topical items that were interesting and important to them.

5 Then move into the story. What s happening to your PN? Where s the drama, the conflict, whatever s new and not quite right? Who are the other people (your secondary characters) in their life? What does their world look like? How do they sound when they talk? Remember, you always need to be revealing the first-person PN. That s the case even when your PN is talking about other things and other people. If you re mainly interested in poetry, please write your exercise as a poem, even though the model is prose. If your main focus is either fiction or memoir, write your exercise in prose. Otherwise, please follow our regular rules: At the top, your full name. Also at the top, a short (1-3 sentences) preamble in which you discuss the narrative technique (but not the plot or characters). No need for a title or closure. Maximum length: 2 pages of double-spaced 12-point text. DEADLINES & TIMING We ll discuss the Dormen exercise during our first 1-hour group chat on Tuesday, Dec. 4, starting at 10 a.m. PST / 1 p.m. EST. You can join the online chat here: Attending our group chats is optional, not required. If you miss the chat, please read the transcript. A new transcript will be posted in our online classroom each week, shortly after the week s chat ends. You ll find it in our online classroom under Course. The deadline for your Dormen exercise is Friday, Dec. 7, at 11 p.m. your time. That s when your exercise should be uploaded to our Writers Studio classroom. Your critiques of this exercise are due by Sunday, Dec. 9, at 6 p.m. your time. And the teacher s critiques will be posted by Tuesday, Dec. 11, at 12 noon EST. Thanks, and I hope you have fun with our first exercise.