The Mosquito. Ed. 2 July 12 th The Squirrels

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1 The Mosquito Ed. 2 July 12 th 2017 Camp! By Yinuo Liu Hi everyone! My name is Yinuo Liu and this is my first year at Camp Manitou and I love camp! Camp is very fun and entertaining. I get to try lots of activities and I get to try new things. My counselors are really nice and I like my cabin mates a lot! Some of my cabin mates have birthdays during camp and they get to spin the birthday wheel! I like cabin activity the best because we get to do an activity with the whole cabin! I like Newspaper, Creative Arts, Video, and O & A. I like my cabin a lot because it s a new cabin and it s nice and clean. Camp Manitou is the best camp ever and it has amazing food! I wish I could stay at Camp Manitou for the whole summer. I love the amazing food at Camp Manitou it is awesome! I love every meal and I love the food at the salad bar. I love Mark s cabin because it is so cool inside. Me and my cabin were invited to watch a movie in Mark s cabin because it was Haley s birthday (one of my cabin mates) and she spun the wheel and won a movie night. Lots of amazing things have happened to me this summer and I want amazing things to happen to you too! The swim docks are located on the lake at Camp Manitou and the lake is awesome! Friday Night Fireside is fun because it has views of the lake and people waterskiing and sailing. Sailing was one of my cabin activities and it was so fun because there were big waves on the lake so the water kept coming into our boat. All of our cabin activities are fun, and I like all of the activities that our cabin does together. Once, our cabin went tubing and it was the best water activity ever! Canoe/Kayak is also amazing because you get to learn how to paddle to and how to steer. We even saw turtles there! Those are all the reasons I love camp and I m sure there are more to come! The Squirrels One night, an albino squirrel stood atop my windowsill. Hello, I said to the squirrel. My mother had always taught me to be polite. The little creature motioned to my plate of tube steaks, which I always keep on my dresser in case I hunger for a midnight snack. I grabbed my cherished plate of tube steaks and held one out to the critter. However, that rapscallion ignored my grand offer and stole the whole plate! Goshdarnit! I exclaimed. My mother would be ashamed to hear me use the Devil s language. fin. CALLOUT MOSQUITO LOGO CONTEST We are on the hunt for a brand new logo for our Newspaper The Mosquito! Think you can design a beautiful new logo for us? Come find a Newspaper staff today! 1

2 Ketchup, Mustard and Relish By Leah Sandler I asked ten people if, off the top of their head, they could name a brand that makes ketchup, mustard, and relish. Here is what they said! Heinz: 9 Catsup: 1 The Weather We ve gone to our Manitou Meteorological team to give you this week s forecast! THURSDAY Suitable beach day weather Ryan s Well By MAKE This past week s Friday Night Fireside was eye-opening. This year s theme of the Power of One was truly shown by Ryan, from Ryan s Well. He wanted to raise money to build a well at the age of 6. He stuck to his plan and, after building the well, he continues to help others in developing countries who don t have access to clean water. By doing this, he ensured these people were healthy, happy, and had time for an education. Corny Jokes By Zoe Wolkove Q: What has four legs but is not an animal? A: A table! Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because seven eight nine! Q: What did relish say to mustard when it was being slow? A: Ketchup! Q: What did the Genie say to Aladdin when his throat was sore? A: Drink some Jasmine tea FRIDAY Snow SATURDAY Sun? SUNDAY Oh no, wait, here comes the sun MONDAY Rain I guess but I REALLY hope it doesn t TUESDAY Partly cloudy WEDNESDAY Partly rowdy 2

3 Song Anonymous The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterfall, Down goes the rainfall, And that is all I know. Always Eat Banana Laffy Taffy By Stella Gelfand Hi, I m Stella and I love eating banana Laffy Taffy TM. Always eat it! But if you eat it, have it around Julie Foster and Ben Kim. p.s. Please don t tell them I said that To The New Ones In Camp By? Some of you now might be homesick. I must admit, I was homesick the second I got on the plane. But don t worry, your parents know you are having the best time. And even though you may be sad at first, the happiness will take over! I know that you will have a great time. So enjoy yourself, because the summer is short! Question of the Day! At The Mosquito, we like to learn all about our writers and the wacky lives they lead. And boy do we like to have fun. That s why we ask a special question every day, and we re going to share the results with all of you! Tuesday July 4 th Q: What is your favourite type of body of water? A: Toilet bowl, clogged up shower, a small child, a kiddy pool, ocean, lake, lagoon, swimming pool, stream, creek, waterfall, Shrek s swamp, that prank where you fill someone s room with cups of water, bathtub, log flume, forehead sweat, Lake Manitou-Wabing, pond, Jacuzzi, Fiji TM bottle from the top of a mountain, puddle, water bottle, Main Field Wednesday July 5 th Q: What is your favourite conjunction? A: Of, at, furthermore, and, although, betwixt, therefore, albeit, moreover, the, because, but, a, ergo, for Friday July 7 th Q: What is your favourite word with a silent letter? A: Pterodactyl, psychology, cat, knife, John, psychedelic, hiver, knuckle, gnome, gnash, gnat, knight, Kaplun (the u is silent), llama, tsunami, salami, island Saturday July 8 th Q: If you could become a bird for the day, what would you become? A: Roadrunner, Middle Earth giant eagle, hummingbird, Minecraft-style chicken, ostrich, eagle, phoenix, turkey, pigeon, seagull, blue jay, the Toronto Blue Jays, cardinal, the Arizona Cardinals, pelican, Faux the Phoenix from the Harry Potter series, hippogriff, chicken, goose, a bird, owl, woodpecker, crow 3

4 ADVERTISEMENT Are you a big fan of The Mosquito and you just can t wait until Wednesday lunch to read the newest edition? Well have we got the thing for you! Sign up for a subscription to The Mosquito and receive a copy before breakfast right on your cabin s doorstep! To receive a subscription, find Julie Foster. Note: Rain, snow, or hail may affect delivery service. Random Riddles By Anonymous 1) There are two sets of fathers and sons, they catch 1 fish each, but they come home with a total of 3 fish. How? (Grandfather/father, father/son) 2) What is one thing that the person selling it doesn t need, the person who buys it doesn t want it, and the person who uses it doesn t know it (A coffin) (Wingdings Wednesday) Are Tomatoes Fruits or Vegetables? One of our brilliant Mosquito reporters went on a mission to find out what people think about that elusive food: tomatoes. Fruit: 24 Vegetable: 11 Starch: 6 Ancient Grain: 2 4

5 Edgy Poetry vol. 1 By Anonymouse L.S.A.M. To: Shiny Hair Man I asked you about your shiny hair. You know who you are. I asked you about what magical shampoo you used. You know who you are. You said you don t use gel. I said, No, the shampoo. You know who you are. You said, Coconut oil, something. I gawked. You know who you are. Some things never change. He ran away If you see this man, call: urshiny Girls Hill By Maia Simmons Girls Hill is basically an element of the ropes course. Some may say it s even harder to get up. Only the bravest of warriors make it up. And going down is like going on a mud slide! Adidas TM slip-ons are very popular at camp. They are black and white. Not anymore! Brown is a new addition to many of my clothes, and for others as well. I know that most of the female campers and counselors agree. Thanks for reading! Survey: Favourite Camp Event By Aidan Varma World Games: 10 Tribal Games: 3 Carnival: 3 Social: 3 Hypnotist: 1 Midnight Madness: 2 The First Annual Newspaper Egg Drop On Sunday and Monday, the First Annual Newspaper Egg Drop was held at The Mosquito headquarters, and it was a success! All of the participants put up their best fight, but we can only crown winner, and this year the prize went to: Eggfare Travel System ft. Victor the Egghead (Alex Rossi and Sophie Greenspoon) Honourable Mention: Aaron Oelbaum Did You Know? -The Original West End cast of the musical Cats were actual cats -There used to be a building at Camp Manitou called the Piano Studio and I promise this is true -Julie Andrews is still spinning and singing on that mountain. Don t believe it? Take a look. -Swiss Cheese is called that because it loves skiing and chocolate -Hedgehogs are really in charge 5

6 Staff Profile: Miranda Wiseman We re all one big Manitou family, but since this family is always growing, it sure is hard to get to know everyone. That s why, each week, The Mosquito will be doing a staff profile for someone in camp. Let s take a look! Name: Miranda Wiseman Date of birth: Let s say September Activity where you work: Guitar/Horseback riding Favourite Activity: Newspaper Years at Camp: 10 sounds right but I can t remember if she got her blanket yet. I mean I can t remember if I got my blanket yet. Me. Miranda. Preferred Operating System: Windows Vista TM Quotation: I just love camp so much and oh my goodness there s the bell for fourth period! HORSE TIME. Who Stole Seth s Laundry Bag? The Mosquito Investigative Journalists are really digging deep to find out who stole Seth s precious laundry bag. Something smells fishy and it s not just dirty socks. Q: Did you steal it? Rachel: No Emma: Yay Raisa: No Sophie: That s something I would do, but I didn t Yair: Maaaybe Lucy: No! Robbie: Yes Teddy: I wish Mason: No. It s probably playing hide and seek with you. 6 In search of. CLASSIFIEDS A capable gymnastics instructor for Aaron Oelbaum Must be: -Enthusiastic -Patient -More knowledgeable about gymnastics than Aaron Oelbaum -A good sport If you think you qualify for the position, and are interested, please contact Aaron Oelbaum by sending him a fax at: (705) Looking forward to some flips and splits! ADVERTISEMENT Do you ever get sleepy at night? Do you ever wonder about your civil rights? Do you ever get really hungry right around 10:30ish? If you answered yes to the third question, then get a load of Browk! Juicy, flakey, stringy--have your daily dose of Browk! Grab a handful and put a lump of that savoury goodness in your pocket! Full of Vitamin K you know, the bad one! Ready in 8 microwave minutes, then save some for later to put in a shake. Find it at your local Canadian Tire, right by the charcoal section. BROWK Eat it, or else!

7 Horoscopes Zoe Wolkove is here to predict your future! Aries (March 21-April 20) You will become a vegetarian Taurus (April 21-May 20) Grapefruit! Gemini (May 21-June 21) One day you ll know, how far you ll go Cancer (June 22-July 22) Computer computer bleep bloop bloop Leo (July 23-August 23) You will have a friend in me Virgo (August 24-September 23) You will find someone with the same name as you Libra (September 24-October 23) The Simpsons TM Scorpio (October 24-November 22) Tomorrow morning you will wake up in an awkward position Sagittarius (November 23-December 21) You will enjoy the sight of windowpanes Capricorn (December 22-January 20) You will play the guitar and it will not be tuned Aquarius (January 21-February 18) You will sit on your finger Pisces (February 19-March 20) The next Tuck you get will be delicious 7

8 Stupid Jokes By Charlotte Moog Q: What do you call a guy in the pool with no arms and no legs? A: Bob! Q: What cars do bugs drive? A: Bee-MWs! Q: Where did the general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies! Q: What did the grape do when someone sat on it? A: It let out a little wine! Interview with Emma Szpindel By Madeleine Katz One of our veteran reporters decided to go in-depth with long time Camp Manitou camper/staff Emma Szpindel! Q1: How long have you been at camp for? A1: I have been at camp for 12 years. Q2: How long have you worked at Creative Arts? A2: I have worked at Creative Arts for 5 years. Q: What did one strawberry say to the other one? A: If we weren t so dang delicious, we wouldn t be in this jam! Q3: What is your favourite Creative Arts project? A3: My favourite project is chalk. How To Deal With Wasps In Your Cabin By Sophie Greenspoon Have wasps or other critters in your cabin? Are you panicking and going crazy? Well, here are some helpful strategies to deal with these unwanted visitors: 1) Don t bother the wasp in your cabin. It won t bug you if you don t bug it. 2) Whatever you do, don t panic or swat at the bug. It will just make you more afraid. And if you swat at it, it won t like that at all! 3) Relax and breathe! These tips are very helpful in these situations. Whether you have one critter or a whole assortment in your cabin! If you follow these tips, you will have no issues! Q4: What is your favourite camp meal? A4: My favourite camp meals is chicken fajitas. Q5: What is your least favourite camp meal? A5: My least favourite camp meal is meat sandwiches. Q6: What is your favourite activity other than Creative Arts? A6: Soccer. Q7: Were you ever a counselor, and if so, for what unit? A7: I was a Freshkid counselor for 4 years. 8

9 LISTICLE! 23 Meals We d Love To Have At Camp 1) Ramen 2) Phõ 3) Sweetbread 4) Sourdough bread 5) Sour bread 6) Spitz TM 7) Shrimp Cocktail 8) Grasshopper 9) Zero Carbon Waste Meal 10) Vegemite 11) Soylent Green 12) Ben Kim s Homemade Cheese Danishes 13) Ben Kim s Store Bought Cheese Danishes 14) More Pasta. Cuz that s what we need. 15) Shark Fin Soup 16) Browk 17) More Tube Steaks 18) Clock 19) Confiscated Candy 20) Veal (Please) 21) Plastic 22) Bone Broth Manitou Song Remix/Parody By Ryan Jacoby, Jonah Kaplun, and Maia Simmons High in the lungs of the South, There s a place, where a few countries come together, A place that never sleeps, and has many campers! Oh Manitou, oh Manitou, For all our lives the lake will be cold, With oversung songs, and lost voices, too, Oh Manitou, we love you These mosquitoes we pray will end. But they won t, they ll be here forever. So we gather together again, To get bitten and scratch forever. Oh Manitou, oh Manitou, For all our lives the lake will be cold, With oversung songs and lost voices, too, Oh Manitou, we love you Oh Manitou, we love you! Napkins By Josh Clarke Wow! Look at all these napkins! There are so many! How?!? Why?!? I guess that s pretty cool! Will there be more?!? No! Okay! That s fine, but what are we going to do about all of them? We know? No? Fine! Yes, it is okay! Now there are too many fishes. Wow. Are they tasty. Yes. Cool. What about now? They re gone? How? I don t know! Okay! We will leave now! Fine! They are gone. Who? Them! We left. How?!? Time to go, again. Where? Why did they leave? What can we do now? We are on the move. Where are we going? What will we do? Go. Nothing. The Napkins. Wow! They re back! That s nice. 23) Bang Bang Shrimp 9

10 ADVERTISEMENT Guitar! By Jessie Rudin Come to guitar!! Guitar is super fun! You can learn new songs and cards. And if you do not know how to play, the awesome staff can teach you! They have a super positive attitude and never let you give up. Also if you have your own guitar or ukulele, you can bring it. So come and join! Damned if you do, damned if you don t! Come on a trip! CANOE TRIPPING 2017 HAIKUS (The Haiku Section) By Sam Kaplun Welcome to Haikus This is where you ll read haikus Please enjoy this art Haikus are poems Consisting of just three lines But wait! There is more: Each line must have the Right number of syllables 5, 7, and 5 If you are so smart, Please find Sam Kaplun and say: I wrote a haiku. Yes, please contribute, To my new Haiku section. (Only if you re cool) If so, you will be Featured in The Mosquito You will become cool. This message was paid for by Canoe Tripping Upcoming Events The Future Feature By Haley Kupinsky Hi Manitou! This week there have been many exciting events, and there are many to look forward to and be a part of! What has snow cones, bouncy castles, and music? Carnival! Get ready for a fun evening with friends and food coming soon! This past Saturday, we were all at the annual Camper Talent Show. We saw fantastic performances from singers, dancers, comedians, and more. Encore! Calling all volleyball, swim, tennis, baseball, hockey, basketball, and archery players! Try out for the Manitou Intercamp Team, because we will be playing Tamakwa right here at home! Show off your skills and make Manitou proud! Cats By Jessica Katz What Is The Better Candy? By Jenna Greenspoon and Jordana Katz Nerds: 13 Fuzzy Peaches: I have an article to share about a cat. So this cat got stuck in a plastic bag. Her name is Cat, and she got stuck in this bag yesterday. She is still stuck, and we need to help Cat. Cats wants toys to help her, but I think cat food will help. So please try to help Cat. Cat lives on Mill Hall Road. P.S. Cat s owners are Jon and Steve, so we all helped the cat, and 3 days later she got out. Did you help Cat?

11 Sugar Gate: Is The Birthday Wheel Rigged? (Yes) By Alexander Jonathan The Birthday Wheel. A symbol of joy for many kids at Camp Manitou. Except for one dreaded prize: Sugar cereal. I, Alexander Jonathan, will debunk the truth. You see, every day that no one gets sugar cereal, Mark Diamond summons a powerful storm to smite the camp. Mark Diamond loses valuable cleaning energy when he summons these storms, so the only way to get more storm power is through cleaning the whole camp. So, Mark Diamond makes the wheel only land on sugar cereal to confirm that his cleaning energy stays in place. Stay awake, gentlemen. Watch out for the sulfur bugs. ADVERTISMENT CREATIVE ARTS Have fun, get messy, and make great art. This truly is the place where dreams are made. -Andy Anthony Least Favourite Movies By Leah Weiss Julie: Any Adam Sandler movie Shiraz: Finding Nemo Sophie: The Secret Life of Pets Jaymie: The Choice Reese: The Hobbit Reese: The Muppets Leah: All Disney princess movies Eryn: The Harry Potter series Syd: Sharknado Zoe: Cinderella Jordi: Pitch Perfect 2 Ava: Cinderella Emma: The Muppets Ghost of Commentator s Past By Peter Vincent For recent campers to understand the upcoming news that I am going to talk about, I am going to have to give you a bit of background knowledge. Back in 2012, the year of Fire and Shadows, there was another special innovation that everybody used to talk about. In that year, head of Radio, country artist, second connoisseur of inside references, Mike Plume had an idea that will forever change the rating scales of the MHL. He decided that he was going to have campers give live commentary of the hectic games going on every O&A. To test this idea, Mr. Plume hooked up speakers to the rink and sent out his lackeys to commentate as best as they could. That lackey, only being know by others back in that day as the elusive Mr. Rossi. The idea was a huge success. Everybody welcomed the new change to the system. More people came to watch the games, the players had an added boost to their morale, and the directors had a more sophisticated sports program to watch. Best of yet, the commentator, Mr. Rossi, only a first year Sophomore at the time, obtained a significant surge of popularity among the people his age and older everywhere at camp. Mr. Rossi eventually went on to commentate for the rest of 2012 and the next year, until eventually a self distrust of his skills led him to resign, leaving the job to a myriad of other Sophomores. Now, why am I telling you this? Because there have been recent reports of a ghost roaming all throughout camp. Studying the land and making verbal notes in his head about it, mainly during MHL hockey games. He has been so focused that when I finally went to interview him, I could only ask him one question. I asked him, Why have you come to this camp to study the surroundings? He responded, Because a Manitou superstar from the past is coming back. I personally didn t know what this meant. But who knows. Maybe we ll see Mr. Rossi back on the field once again 11

12 What Are You Looking Forward To This Summer? By Lee Bracha We all know how much fun you can have at camp, but there are so many things that all of us are looking forward to. I interviewed a few of our staff, and this is what they said. A few of the staff said that they are excited for the new slip n slide, and others said that they are excited to learn about pottery. Some campers said that they are excited for Tribal Games, Radio, and Woodworking. I believe that there are so many reasons you should be excited for this summer, because Camp Manitou is full of surprises. What Was Your Favourite Childhood Show? By Shiraz Meisels Shiraz, one of our long-time Mosquito reporters, was curious as to what everyone liked to watch on TV when they were growing up. Here are the results! Sam: Danny Phantom and Fairly Odd Parents Julie: Bananas in Pajamas and Dudley the Dragon Jessie: Suite Life of Zack and Cody Leah: Arthur and Suite Life of Zack and Cody Jaymie: Max & Ruby Zoe: Thundermans All About Leah Weiss By Charlotte Moog Leah s favourite colour is lilac, and her favourite animal is a dog. Her favourite food here at Manitou is pasta. She lives in Toronto, Ontario. Leah s favourite movie is X-Men: First Class. Her favourite word is microwave. Newspaper is her favourite activity. Leah s favourite place in the world is Whistler, B.C. Leah is 13, but she says that she likes being 12 better. Why DID The Chicken Cross The Road? (The No-Nonsense Version) By Erin Herzstein Think about it. For what reasons would a chicken crossing the road become such a popular riddle? Yet why would it be answered with a simple to get to the other side? Brains with wiring, such as you readers, know very well that the chicken desired to attain the opposing side of the road. But was that really his or her destination? Where was this chicken heading? Is the crossing the road part just a cover-up for something much bigger? Why is it referred to as the chicken and not a chicken? Perhaps there was only one chicken at the time. Winding back millions of years, we can deduce that the first chicken came well before roads, so maybe this riddle was once said differently. But what could have looked like a road in prehistoric times. A stegosaurus! A stegosaurus is long and surrounded by vegetation. Therefore, the question is Why did the chicken cross the stegosaurus? The answer should be to get to the other end of the ocean to a new continent! So, what did YOU like to watch on TV? 12

13 Comics, Drawings, and Games! 13

14 This edition of The Mosquito is brought to you by the letter X 14