Hardly Framing presents FRAME HARD. A monthly-ish mag for the masses

Transcription

1 Hardly Framing presents FRAME HARD A monthly-ish mag for the masses

2 WEL- COME Hello Frameworker, Welcome to the first edition of our community zine. We had a budget of $400k to produce this series but we spent all of that money on Mentos and cookies, so instead please enjoy this simple piece of paper instead. We d like to thank all the funny and interesting Framers who answered our questions and who make coming to work everyday great! From The Mysterious Framework Mag Crew XX P.s. Where s Jono? Framework s beloved mascot and resident Simpsons-GIFer, Jono, is shy! He s hiding throughout this zine and you can find him. Find the four hidden Jonos and unlock a special prize: Jono s eternal love and affection! 2

3 Fresh Faces evie NAUFAL, 25 Management Consultant Would you rather travel 50 years into the past or 50 years into the future but not be able to come back to the present? The future, no doubt about it! Who would want to go back to the late 60s when you could go to 2068? I m already jealous of the cool shit my grandkids are gonna get to play with so if I had to stop #livingmybestlife then I d go forward, not back. If you had to live a life of crime, what would your profession be and why?* Something white collar - I don t have the nerves for a life of crime. Sign me up for whatever Martha Stewart went to prison for. Would you rather a world of no salt or no sugar? No sugar, fo sho. I would love if someone took sugar away as an option but I would surely die of starvation if I had to consist on a diet without salt. If you could be a piece of furniture, what would you be and why? An internet refrigerator! So I could listen in to everyone s conversations and also live up to my reputation as Framework s biggest feeder. 3

4 Faces ZACH MOORE, web developer Would you rather travel 50 years into the past or 50 years into the future, but not be able to come back to the present? Fifty years into the future. Who knows what the future could hold? Humans could be living on the big red desert Mars, robots could be our slaves whilst we sit around and sip tea. And we know what s happened in the past so that s no fun. If you had to live a life of crime, what would your profession be and why? Target a different restaurant each day/ night and order an abundant amount of food, indulge, then run. Because everyone s thought about doing this once or twice right? And I have the stomach of an obese man. Would you rather a world of no salt or no sugar? No sugar, I m all salt. Just have a dip of natures sugar (HONEY) if you need a sweet hit. If you could be a piece of furniture, what would you be and why? A bed. There would always be someone coming back to you each night giving you a nice, sweaty, stinky cuddle. 4

5 FwkER FacTS Adrian Julia Andrew Eva Adam Match the fact to the person 1. I spent a month living with monks in a Shaolin temple learning kung fu. 2. When I was 7 years old, I was cast in what was a super quirky Serbian equivalent of Neighbours. Kids hated me because my character was very annoying. 3. I was globally ranked in FIFA, and have broken many controllers in anger. 4. I have a business called Lagom Studio which is dedicated to sustainable and ethical fashion. 5. I was an underaged lead guitarist in a death metal band during the 90s. 5

6 FWKer of the MONTH BELA, F**K THE GAME If you haven t met Bela yet, chances are he s probably about to ask you to play F**k the Game. Because of his uncanny ability to get us together in a room and make us swear at each other, he s well and truly earned our very first Frameworker of the Month award. 6

7 A little more about BELA What exposure did you have to games before creating your own? I grew up on computer games mostly. The Amiga 500 was a big influence in my life. I always enjoyed the most common board and card games as a kid although the only recent card game I played as an adult is poker so I guess it s odd that I created a card game. What did you do before F**k the Game? Before F**k. The Game I was a producer and performer in a band called The Transients as well as being a graphic designer. That really helped me to develop and test F**k. The Game so I could try out new ideas quickly and work on ideas outside of my day job. What can we expect to see from F**k the game going forward? We have a few projects in the works. Watch this space! Can we play? Of course! We can play anytime! 7

8 alix s Horonopes ARies You didn t hear it from me, but Capricorn s been talking non-stop shit about you. I don t know what you did to piss them off, but wow. The Sun moves into your communications sector on the 21st of May that s the perfect opportunity for the two of you to sit down together and sort out your differences calmly and rationally. A few of us miiight have some money riding on the outcome, so if you could do me a solid and maybe wait about a minute and half before knocking Capricorn out, it d be much appreciated. leo Venus is at the top of your solar chart until the 24th of May, then Mars aligns with Pluto on the 26th, so I m sure I don t need to tell you that that window is the perfect time to test your friends and loved ones to see how much they really care about you. My personal favourite has always been collapsing into a gibbering heap, speaking in tongues and eating nothing but raw kale (10/10 would recommend), but you do you, boo. Taurus Mercury moves into your sign in mid-may, so you re going to want to avoid shellfish for the next seven years or so. Maybe gluten, too, just to be safe. Whatever you do, don t spend money in amounts that are prime numbers. Just don t. Trust me, it s not worth it. Cancer Venus, goddess of love and pleasure, sashays into your sign on the 19th of May, wearing that jacket you were certain could never look good on anyone. Follow her lead buy those jeans you weren t sure about! Don t listen to Sagittarius; you look great in those! Put yourself out there! Take a risk! Treat yourself! Strut your stuff! Be insufferable! Start conversations with strangers on public transport! Abscond with their personal belongings! Catcall random passers-by! Just lean right into being the ABSOLUTE WORST! You re worth it! Scorpio Venus moves into your intimacy sector on the 24th of May. You d think that this would be the perfect time to take a chance and ask that special someone if they maybe want to get a drink with you sometime, maybe. Well, you d be wrong. That s a terrible idea. Nobody likes drinks what were you thinking? 8

9 virgo Venus moves into your friendship sector between the 19th of May and the 13th of June, making this the perfect time to really reinforce your social connections. You should use this opportunity to constantly bring up that one habit that really bugs you about your loved one yeah, that one. Just, like, all the time. Nobody flosses four times a day, Emmett. It s absurd. Stop it. Libra Mars moves into harmony with your sign from the 16th of May onwards, which will certainly spice things up, so be on the lookout for any rash decisions. In fact, it s probably best not to make any decisions at all. Find a Leo or a Virgo and delegate all your decision-making to them. They ll love that. Aquarius Oh, buddy. This is going to be a rough one. Stock up on salt and holy water and brace yourself, I guess? Pisces Mars enters your privacy sector on the 16th of May, and the Sun moves into your home and family sector on the 21st, and you know what that means it s time to lock yourself indoors and give free reign to your creative impulses! Create an elaborate indoor maze out of your housemates bedding; paint every surface of your home a different shade of yellow (no double-ups!) your only limit is your imagination! Gemini You might be feeling more impulsive than usual that s because the New Moon and Uranus have both entered your privacy sector. Treat yourself to a long drive instead of honouring your scheduled commitments, but don t talk to the guy who taps on your window at the third traffic light. That s Todd. He s not the bringer of life-changing news, he s just bored and desperate to talk to someone about his multi-level marketing strategy. He also has terrible breath. Sagittarius On the 7th of June, at precisely 2:36pm, you will be approached by a small child carrying a potted plant. Do not look the child in the eye. The child will ask you if you want the potted plant. Do not take the potted plant. Run immediately to the nearest bathroom and check your reflection in the mirror. If everything looks the way it should, recite the alphabet backwards and walk anti-clockwise around the block three times, just to be safe. If not well, you had a good run. CAPRICORN I know things have been difficult since you lost a pinky in that baboon accident, but don t worry, things are about to start looking up! Just don t be alarmed when someone tries to cut off the other pinky it s actually your old flame from childhood, and damned if puberty hasn t done wonders for the both of you! Hit it, quit it, and move on wit it, you nine-fingered freak. 9

10 CONVO slack Julian Just a heads up to everyone. That raisin toast is communal and you re all welcome to it! Lots of people have told me privately that they thought it was someone s personal food. But I assure you it s up for grabs! As is the communal butter, so get to toastin for raisin awareness Imogen A toast to@julian for his PSA! Julian Surely you have butter things to do Alex Stop it Francis Let s spread these puns around loaf it Julian Keep them crumbin Alex I think these jokes are getting kinda stale Andrewdangerparker Is it giving you a migrain? Julian Not at all. I m bready for more. Amos He kneads it! Uri English is funny Andrewdangerparker There is muffin funny about it slack slack 10

11 Caption CONtest Thanks to all the Frameworkers for submitting their funniest efforts into the caption contest. But there can only be one winner...and it's Adam Sullivan! Adam, you've won yourself a free coffee and our undying respect Monkey one: What are you doing with that 2k13 of RAM? Money two: Sending people to the moon 2018 Monkey one: What are you doing with that 1.5GB of RAM? Monkey two: Running Slack. 11

12 A Hardly Framing Publication