My Mother taught the CIRCLE OF LIFE. I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. (to be continued in the Sept. issue}

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1 Volume 18 Issue 8

2 By Jan Crandall Please mark your calendars for the following: First day of school 8/28/18 Del Norte Rural Human Services Delivery for food in Klamath for August will be the 21 st Hours 9:30 to Noon Any questions, please call: (707) Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. If you are going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning. 2. Mother taught me RELIGION. You better pray that will come out of the carpet. 3. Mother taught me about TIME TRVEL. If you don t straighten up, I m going to knock you into the middle of next week. 4. My Mother taught LOGIC. Because I said so, that why. 5. My Mother taught me more Logic. If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you are not going to the shop with me. 6. My Mother taught me FORESIGHT. Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about. 8. My Mother taught me science of OSMOSIS. Shut your mouth and eat your supper. 9. My Mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck? 10. My Mother taught me about STAMINA. You ll sit there until all of your dinner is gone. 11. My Mother taught me about WEATHER. This room of yours looks as though a tornado went through it. 12. My Mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. If I ve told you once, I ve told you a million times. Don t exaggerate! My Mother taught the CIRCLE OF LIFE. I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. (to be continued in the Sept. issue} The Veteran s Breakfast will be held on Saturday August 18 th prior to the Salmon Festival Parade. We start serving at 7:30 am. Price as follows: Veteran s free, Adults $8.00, Children over 5 years and under 11 years $6.00 and Children under 4 years are free. Anyone interested in helping, please let Jan know and we would like the helpers at the Community Center by 6:00 am. Thank you. Speaking about Veterans, I noticed something in the parking lot of The Home Depot while in town the other day. There are several parking space that are reserved for Veterans Only. I am sure thanks go to Alex Campbell, Mgr. Speaking about Veterans, I noticed something in the parking lot of The Home Depot while in town the other day. There are several parking space that are reserved for Veterans Only. I am sure thanks go to Alex Campbell, Mgr. For those that are interested, I made a visit to the Crescent City Air Terminal To determine what the name of the carrier was. It is Contour Air Lines They make one trip to Oakland a day. And there is a return trip at 4:45 pm Daily. Their toll free number is: also you can go on line: Contouirairline.com. As far as their new terminal go s sincerely hope it ultimately brings more carriers to serve the area

3 This and that continued... The following submitted by one of our Readers Bertha & Betty Two 90 year old women, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day. One DAY Betty said, Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor, when you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know if there is women s softball there. Bertha looked up at Betty from her deathbed and said, Betty, you ve been my best friend for many years. If it is at all possible, I ll do this favor for you. Shortly after that, Bertha died. A few nights later, Betty was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, Betty, Betty. Who is it asked Betty, sitting up suddenly. Who is it? Betty-- It s me Bertha. Insisted the voice. You re not Bertha, Bertha just died. I am telling you, it s me Bertha, insisted the voice. Bertha! Where are you? In heaven, replied Bertha I have some really good news & a little bad news. Well tell me the good news first, said Betty. The good news, Bertha said with joy and enthusiasm, Is that there s women s softball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me are here, too. Even better than that, we re all young again., Better still, it s always Springtime and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired. That s fantastic, said Betty. It s beyond my wildest dreams! So what s the bad news? You re pitching Tuesday. The following was submitted by Stephen Peach of Chinook RV Just had to share the latest episode of As Chinook Turns So the story goes, late Tuesday night, a skunk & it s offspring were confronted by a raccoon at RV space 11. There, a big fight ensued & went on for what seemed like hours. When the dust & stink settled (who am I fooling, the smell will be in the air for days), one less lil skunk in town, 50 pounds of dog food (apparently what the brawl was over, scattered over a 20 square area & probably nightmares for the surrounding RVers haunted by sounds of growls and screams that echoed thru the night..& there you have it, just another night on the Klamath river front.. Just sharing, Captain Chinook We have our summer visitors in and several have inquired when our Library Is open so felt it was time to publish the hours. Open on Tuesday 1:00 to 4:00 pm. We do have a computer and Judy Morris is there to answer questions. Any questions you may call Judy at Happy to report that Ellie McMillen is doing very well with her broken right shoulder and she had her first outing on Saturday 21 st and was so happy to be out with her daughter. Also very happy to report that Paul Kirkpatrick is home from his triple-bypass that was done in Stanford this past month. At first they anticipated keeping Paul in the hospital for at least three weeks but he surprised the doctors when they saw how very strong his arms and legs were. So Welcome Home Paul & Wanda. The Book Nook which is located at 170 Klamath Blvd would like the Locals and of course the Summer Visitors to know that they have a great selection of jewelry and art pieces for sale, all done by local artists. They are also featuring a Coffee Bar with books to enjoy while drinking your coffee.

4 This and That Concluded.. The following stories submitted by one of our subscribers. HOSPITAL REGULATIONS requires a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. I don t know, he said, She s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown. A man was telling his neighbor, I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it s state of the art. It s perfect. Really. answered the neighbor. What kind is it? Twelve thirty Fishing Licenses may be purchased at the following establishments: Woodland Villa Market & Cabins Phone # Wal-Mart # , Big 5 Sporting Goods , Englund Marine, Citizen Dock Keeping them in our Prayers Tracy Kauffman suffered a stroke this past week so please folks, keep her In your thoughts and prayers. Also keeping Pat Corner in prayer as she in the hospital. Brian Walker 2nd, Sandy Crandall 16th, Darlene McCabe 17th, Dennis Kleinhans 28th Jenny Mully & Sharon Frymer share the29th

5 The Forest Caf e is under new Management, as we are sad to say that Kylan & Hanna are moving back to Oregon.. On July 28th our new menu will be unveiled serving a full variety of Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Items. Hours of Operation are 7 days a week, 8:00 am to 8:00pm. All prior coupons or discounts will no longer be accepted. 15 Great things to take to the beach for picnic s 1. Mini Sandwiches/wraps 14. Goldfish Crackers 2. Cut-up Pitas and hummus 15. Cold Pizza 3. Pasta Salad (Just remember forks if your going to pack this) 4. Hard Boiled Eggs 5. Homemade Lemonade ( Freeze it before you leave so it stays cold as long as possible) 6. Grapes/Cheese/Crackers 7. Cherry Tomato/ Cucumber Salad ( can be eaten with your hands if you don t use dressing) 8. Shrimp Skewers (Pre-Cooked) 9. Trail Mix 10. Chips ( Regular works best since it s the least messy) 11. Cut-up Watermelon. 12. Chicken Nuggets ( Pre-Cooked) 13. Granola Bars( Ones without chocolate works best)

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11 Our July Sr. Luncheon was enjoyed by over 70 folks, the largest attendance for this year and want to take this opportunity to thank: Mario Aguilleres for donating the Tri-Tip to our July Luncheon. Senior Luncheon KLAMATH COMMUNITY/SENIOR CENTER, 219 Salmon Avenue Wednesday, July 15th, :00 2:00 pm. Bar-B-Que Chicken prepared by Chef Danny Roasted red potatoes & Summer Squash and Green Salad prepared by kitchen staff. Our wonderful dinner rolls and Deserts by: Danny, Jan, and Nancy Patten who will provide Berry Cobbler and Then of course we will have Peach Tea, Coffee and Lemonade. All Local and Visiting Seniors are welcome! Hope to see all Seniors there to join us. For Information please phone or Jan

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