THE TWILIGHT ZONE Will the real martian please stand up

Transcription

1 THE TWILIGHT ZONE Will the real martian please stand up WITH JOHN HOYT JEAN WILLES JACK ELAM BARNEY PHILLIPS john archer bill kendis morgan jones gertrude flynn bill erwin jill ellis ron kipling 1

2 A ZONE OF SNOW COVERED MOUNTAINS, IN WINTER. TWO POLICE OFFICERS ARE FACING A VERY ODD CALL. A meteorite, probably... Whatever it is, something hit that pond and will stay under the ice until spring! 2

3 This is 1183A checking out a report about an unidentified flying o- bject it cut off some tops of trees and felt in Tracy s Pond but we don t see it! SERGEANT REPORTS TO BASE. Bill, come here! THE OTHER OFFICER HAS FOUND SOMETHING. 3

4 FOOTPRINTS. WITHOUT ANY DOUBT. It appears to be some evidence, I ll call you back... All right. But there s some talk about of a bridge going out up there. When you can take a look and make sure she is posted and blocked off! There s enough ice on it to cool the Congo! 4

5 Something left that pond and went over to the diner! Let s follow the tracks I want to be sure they lead to the diner! A phone call from a frightened woman notating the arrival of an unidentified flying object, and two state troopers verifying the event... 5

6 Their task will be hard because they will have to find a Martian in a diner, and you will search with them, because you have just landed in the twilight zone! A BUS PARKED IN FRONT OF THE CAFE. DRIVER AND PASSENGERS ARE HAVING A BREAK... 6

7 THE TWO OFFICERS COME IN. THEY DON T KNOW HOW TO BEGIN... CUSTOMERS IMMEDIATELY REALIZE THE TWO MEN ARE NOT THERE BY CHANCE. 7

8 Whose bus is this out there? That s mine, officer. What is the trouble? The bridge is temporarily impassable. A- nother pound of weight and it could be driftwood. 8

9 Looks like you are marooned till morning... Till morning? I have to be in Boston at 9:00 a.m.! 9

10 Then you better start walking! The bus stays here till they fix the bridge! A fine little bus line! They care so much about their schedules, don t they? 10

11 They have no control over the snow, bridges and sides of hills that come down... What do you think? They were all on that bus, weren t they? 11

12 You looking for somebody? THE BARMAN TALKS FOR ALL. THE SERGEANT TRIES TO POINT THE PRO- BLEM. Have you got a passenger manifest? 12

13 That s a 14 year old bus and business is lousy. I don t ask passengers their names. We are that glad to have them, with or without names. Know how many you had? 13

14 Six. Unless one of them fell out the window... Somebody must have jumped in there are seven now! 14

15 That s funny I know I had six people! One of them didn t get off the bus! Was there anybody here before the bus stopped? No. I haven t served anybody since 11 o - clock this morning... 15

16 There was no one in here when we came in... We were all on the bus! What kind of interrogation is this? I want to talk with a lawyer... 16

17 That s a good one! He wants a lawyer... A PASSENGER WITH FOO- LISH BEHAVIOUR MAKES HIS SPEECH. I don t remember seeing you on the bus... 17

18 One of us is a liar! Eheheheheheheheh!!! Did you hear anything flying over here tonight? Flying over here? No... 18

19 We got a call two hours ago. Woman said she heard something flying over and then come down. Fly over here? From where? 19

20 From up there an unidentified flying o- bject! Unidentified flying o- bject? Nothing has come down from up there except snow... 20

21 Something did land in Tracy s Pond. We found tracks leading away to here. You mean something landed in Tracy s Pond and then came in here? That s crazy... 21

22 You are trying to tell us that there s one person in here who landed in some kind of a saucer and then came in here? That s just not possible. We d seen them. 22

23 You were all on the bus together. You would have known who the other passengers were! It was snowing and dark since it s just one person, you can pair off the couples! 23

24 THE MIDDLE AGED COUPLE TAKES A RELIEF BREATHE. Cross us off. We are two of the humans... Us too! My wife and I... A YOUNGER COUPLE IS VERY GLAD TOO. 24

25 You got identification, grandpa? Left it down in the pond in my spaceship... Who won the World Series race last year? Pittsburgh Pirates won it! You thought us Martians didn t know? Eheheheheheh. 25

26 You got identification, miss? No I left my wallet in the suitcase it was shipped ahead. I am a professional dancer. 26

27 She was on the bus She is the only one I noticed! SUDDENLY, THE JUKE-BOX SWI- TCHES ITSELF ON AND STARTS PLAYING MUSIC. 27

28 LIGHTS LOWER, ASTONISHING ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE CAFE. We may get a laugh out of all this in the morning in the meantime, everyone stay right where they are! 28

29 That wasn t your gag, was it? I mean the juke-box... Not me. I am strictly short orders... WAITING FOR THE OFFICERS RETURN... We took a look at the bridge holding up pretty well! 29

30 I know that bridge, and what s more, I don t trust it! If the bridge gets a clean bill of health, you will drive the bus right across it! 30

31 When it comes to bridges and buses I got seniority And I tell you that bridge is so old... BUT LIGHTS LOWER AGAIN! 31

32 THE JUKE-BOX TOO STARTS TO PLAY MUSIC AGAIN. This is weird. This is just plain weird... 32

33 If this person did come in here, it d be a real healthy i- dea if we found him and kept him from leaving! What if the thing doesn t show itself? Do we sit here holding our breath? 33

34 LIGHTS LOWER AGAIN... THEN A SUGAR BOWL BLOWS UP! EEEEK!!! 34

35 AND ANOTHER ONE... AAAAGH!!!! AND THEN THE PHONE RINGS. 35

36 Yeah? What s that? It s Ok? THE SERGEANT TRIES TO ANSWER... That was the county engineer The bridge has been checked out and declared passable. We ll go on ahead, cross the bridge first. SERGEANT THINKS IT S USELESS TRYING TO FIND A GHOST. 36

37 All right! You can pay your checks over here... ALL PASSENGERS GO TO PAY THEIR BILLS. 37

38 THE LAST GREETINGS ARE MADE. Miss Mc Connell... Goodbye, officer! LATER, SOMEBODY COMES BACK TO THE CAFE. 38

39 Hey didn t you got out in that bus? THE BARMAN IS REALLY SURPRISED. The bridge collapsed! The police car, the bus, everything right into the river! No one got out! 39

40 Except you but you are not even wet! Just an illusion like the juke-box or the telephone... 40

41 I ought to explain that the name isn t Ross and I wasn t really going to Boston I was sent as an a- dvanced scout We re beginning to colonize Incidentally, we come from Mars My friends will be arriving very shortly This is the perfect area for a colony... 41

42 I have to do a little waiting myself We folks of Venus had the same idea several years ago... Your friends are not coming, they have been intercepted A colony is coming, but it s from Venus I think you will see how we differ... 42

43 And I do agree with you, this is an extraordinary place to colonize... THE MARTIAN REMAINS WORDLESS. ALL HIS BRAVERY HAS VANI- SHED. 43

44 ON THE OTHER HAND, THE VENUSIAN HAS A GREAT FUN: HIS FRIENDS HAVE WON. IF A SOUR FACED DANDY NAMED ROSS OR A BIG, GOOD NATURED COUNTERMAN WALKS ONTO YOUR PREMISES, YOU D BETTER HOLD THEIR HANDS, ALL THREE OF THEM, OR CHECK THE CO- LOUR OF THEIR EYES, ALL THREE OF THEM. THE GENTLEMEN IN QUESTION MIGHT TRY TO PULL YOU INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE. THE END 44