Humor and Caregiving. Teepa Snow, Positive Approach, LLC to be reused only with permission.

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1 Teepa Snow, Positive Approach, LLC to be reused only w ith permission. Handouts are intended for personal use only. Any copyrighted materials or DVD content from Positive Approach, LLC (Teepa Snow) may be used for personal educational purposes only. This material may not be copied, sold or commercially exploited, and shall be used solely by the requesting individual. Copyright 2017, All Rights Reserved Teepa Snow and Positive Approach to Care Any redistribution or duplication, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited, without the expressed written consent of Teepa Snow and Positive Approach, LLC Humor and Caregiving 1

2 Laughing versus Surviving: Our goals for you: Understanding of what s happening with the person with dementia Support so you can survive Insight for the moments of joy Example of Challenges: No financial or health care POA Losing important things Getting lost Unsafe task performance Repeated calls and contacts Refusing Bad mouthing you to others Making up stories Resisting care Swearing and cursing Making 911 calls Mixing day and night Shadowing Eloping or wandering No solid sleep time Getting into things Threatening caregivers Undressing Being rude Feeling sick Striking out at others Falls and injuries Infections and pneumonias Seeing things and people Not eating or drinking Contractures and immobility Why Do These Things Happen? EVERYTHING is affected: Thoughts Words Actions Feelings It is progressive: More brain dies over time Different parts get hit Constant changing It is variable: Moment to moment Morning to night Day to day Person to person Dementia is predictable: Specific brain parts Typical spread Some parts preserved 2

3 Why Might These Things NOT Happen? Dementia is individualistic The person doesn t have it in them The situation doesn t come up Other conditions keep it from happening Caregivers have great skills The dementia isn t bad enough yet You get LUCKY! What Makes Stuff Happen? Six Pieces of the Puzzle: 1. The type and level of dementia 2. The person and who they have been: personality, preferences and history 3. The environment: setting, sound, sights, feel 4. Other medical conditions and sensory status 5. The whole day and how things fit together 6. How the helper helps: approach, behaviors, words, actions, and reactions What Can You Control? Or NOT Control? CONTROL: The environment: setting, sound, sights The whole day and how things fit together NOT CONTROL: The person and who they have been: personality, preferences and history How the helper helps: approach, behaviors, words, actions, and reactions The level of dementia Other medical conditions and sensory status 3

4 So, What s Happening to Them? Memory damage: Can t learn new things Forgets immediate past Does time and space travel Uses old memories like new May not ID self or others correctly CONFABULATES Follows visual cues Seeks out the familiar Can get stuck on an old emotional memory track Language damage: Has very concrete understanding of words Misses 1 our of 4 words, may miss Don t Word finding problems Word salad problems COVERS Follows your cues Gets very vague and repeats Uses automatic responses Mis-speaks So, What s Happening to Them? Impulse Control Problems: Say whatever they are thinking Swear easily Use sex words or racial slurs when stressed Act impulsively Not think through consequences Can t hold back on thoughts or actions Responds quickly and strongly to perceived threats: flight, fight, fright Performance Problems: Thinks they can do better than they can Can sometimes do better under pressure, sometimes worse Uses old habits Attempts can be dangerous or fatal They will tell you one thing and then do another Families may over or under limit activities Use Empathy and Go With the Flow Reality Orientation Telling Lies 4

5 Using Humor: We All Need to Laugh! Finding What s Funny for You Why? Laughter is healthy Laughter connects you to others Laughter makes your brain work better Laughter makes you learn faster Laughter energizes you Laughter refocuses your thoughts Laughter relieves stress and worry Laughter heals Why Do We Laugh? Four Theories: Superiority Theory Relief Theory Incongruity Theory Play Theory 5

6 Some Types of Humor: Funny stories Funny comments Jokes Professional humor: topic-specific humor Puns or word play Cartoons (TV) Riddles Mimicry Slapstick Self-deprecation Sarcastic Dry or wry Caricature Photos or pictures Video clips Comics Tongue twisters Why Do We Laugh? Something Seems Funny to Us: What we see What we hear What we experience What we see compared to what we hear What we see compared to our experiences What we experience compared to what we expected What other people say or do, or say versus do Finding the Right Humor for You: Your sense of humor may stay the same Your sense of humor may change over time Your ability to understand humor will change over time 6

7 Humor for a Person Living with Dementia: Silly or stupid may become funny Funny may become NOT! It may take longer for them to get it slow down Familiar stories and jokes may become more fun than those they don t already know They may want more visual humor versus written or spoken humor Laughter Breeds Laughter: Hang out with HAPPY people Decide to look on the bright side for RIGHT NOW Think about what might be funny about this Expose yourself to funny things: try some different resources and types Work your way up from a smile to belly laugh Put Humor In Your Day: Make time for having fun Make time to laugh Smile at someone Smile at yourself in the mirror When you are having a HARD TIME: STOP Take a break Laugh Try again 7

8 When the Going Gets Tough Take a Break and Change Gears: Back off Breathe, and then and change focus for a few minutes: Change place and space Go to a different sensory experience Alter the social situation Find a different surface for some part of you Here Are Some Ideas Start by Connecting with a Task that Challenges EVERYONE: Get in groups of three: One is a DOER One is a TALKER One is a WATCHER Your group task: make an accurate copy of the picture I am going to show to only the TALKERS and the WATCHERS 8

9 What Happened for Each of You? Doer talks Watcher talks Talker talks Let s Think: -What was the TASK you were being asked to do? -Really? -Why did you all start off being invested in trying to get the picture RIGHT? -What was the REAL Task? -Who is who in Dementia Care? 9

10 So What Should We Do??? Remember who has the healthy brain! History According to Kids: Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too. Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now. Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken. 10

11 Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Higher Power: A teacher said to her children, " We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in ancient times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is? One child blurted out, "Aces!" 11

12 How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? 12

13 Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Rottweiler: Make me Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 13

14 Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. How many cats does it take to change a light bulb? The Cat's Answer: Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: how long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage? ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF! 14

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16 How to Clean the Toilet and the Cat: 1. Put the lid of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse. 6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid. 8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. 16

17 What Else Should You Do? Plan for the probabilities Create environments that reduce risk Get skilled or find someone who is Get others on board Keep track of what is Watch for signs of changes Get help early call or contact Be flexible How You Feel is Real and Important! However you feel is OK, it s how you feel! It s not about judgment, it s about support! Acknowledge the feelings, then decide what to do about it: Is it how you want to feel? IF YES, go with it If NO, work to change it! If You are Having a HARD TIME: Think about: What HELPS you What you NEED What is MISSING What you are struggling with Who else might help What will happen if you don t do something What might happen if you do 17

18 Some Ideas for Changing: Pick one thing Plan on baby steps Get support for you Build a routine Check in on your feelings Add something before giving something up Believe it: not everyone is meant to do hands-on care Give it a try not permanent just try What is There to Laugh About? What the person says What the person does What the person says VERSUS what is done Your mistakes and OOPS moments Your moments of joy Your moments of insight Their moments of insight, awareness, or humor Other people and their behaviors or words Things you see, hear, read, etc. Let Go: How it used to be How it should be How you should be 18

19 Teepa Snow, Positive Approach, LLC to be reused only w ith permission. Identify: What you re good at and what you re not Who can help and how they can help What really matters Where do you find JOY? Get there regularly! Final Suggestions: Back off, change something and try again Adopt a SO WHAT mentality Try being supportive, not confrontational Accept yourself, and the person with dementia GET SUPPORT for YOU! Find something you like about the person you are trying to help Get help for them so you can take a break! DISCLAIMER The content contained in this presentation is strictly for informational purposes. Therefore, if you wish to apply concepts or ideas contained from this presentation you are taking full responsibility for your actions. Neither the creators, nor the copyright holder shall in any event be held liable to any party for any direct, indirect, implied, punitive, special, incidental or other consequential damages arising directly or indirectly from any use of this material, which is provided as is, and without warranties. Any links are for information purposes only and are not warranted for content, accuracy or any other implied or explicit purpose. This presentation is copyrighted by Positive Approach to Care and is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws, with ALL rights reserved. No part of this may be copied, or changed in any format, sold, or used in any way other than what is outlined within this under any circumstances without express permission from Positive Approach to Care. Copyright 2017, All Rights Reserved Teepa Snow and Positive Approach to Care 19

20 Teepa Snow, Positive Approach, LLC to be reused only w ith permission. To learn more about the information covered in this educational presentation, join our list. Text TEEPA to Resources are provided free of charge. Message and data rates may apply to text. 20