Ask Vs. Tell. Kimberly Alyn 2007

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1 To find your social style, look at the two slides that follow. There will be four categories: Ask, Tell, Task, and Relationship. You are either an Ask type of person or a Tell type of person. You are also either a Task-oriented person or a Relationship-oriented person. Check the boxes that apply to you most.

2 Ask Vs. Tell ASK TELL! I m more reserved! I m more outgoing! I m unagressive! I m more assertive! I make thoughtful decisions! I make quick decisions! I avoid confrontation! I don t mind confrontation! I m very patient! I tend to be impatient! I reserve my opinions! I openly share my opinions! I m very easygoing! I tend to be more intense! I don t talk fast or loud! I tend to talk fast and loud! People often view me as shy! People often view me as or introverted outgoing or ambitious

3 Task vs. Relationship TASK RELATIONSHIP! I have guarded emotions! I m more free to share mine! I m more to the serious side! I m more to the playful side! I am disciplined about time! I am often late! I dress more formal! I dress more informal! I m strict about rules! I tend to be more lenient! I like to work alone! I like to work with others! I am hard to get to know! I am easier to get to know

4 YOUR STYLE Add up the check marks and the column that has the most checks is your style. So if you ended up: ASK and TASK You are an ANALYTICAL TELL and TASK You are a DRIVER ASK and RELATIONSHIP You are an AMIABLE TELL and RELATIONSHIP You are an EXPRESSIVE The following slides will give you an overall view of each style

5 Overview of The Analytical "Deep and thoughtful "Serious and purposeful "Genius-prone "Set high standards "Orderly and organized "Dry but witty sense of humor

6 The Analytical Strengths and Weaknesses "Perfectionist "Neat and tidy "Loyal "Economical "Self-disciplined "Moody "Critical "Negative "Indecisive "Over analyzing

7 How Analyticals Can Be Annoying " You want everything perfect " You make decisions to dang slow! " You don t socialize enough " You think too deep sometimes! " You re too picky about everything " You crawl into a shell and withdraw in conflict

8 How to Deal With Annoying Analyticals " Don t pressure them for decisions " Have the correct facts and information " Speak softly and calmly " Exercise patience around them " Practice being in an ask mode " Give them alone time and a private work area

9 Overview of the Driver "Dynamic and active "Not easily discouraged "Known as over-achievers "Exudes confidence "Moves quickly to action "Not detail-oriented

10 The Driver Strengths and Weaknesses "Determined "Independent "Productive "Visionary "Decisive "Unsympathetic "Insensitive "Harsh "Proud "Sarcastic

11 How Drivers Can Be Annoying " You re too insensitive " You roll over the top of people " You think you re always right " You re too competitive " You don t need people (too independent) " You spew sarcasm and try to control people in conflict

12 How to Deal With Annoying Drivers " Increase your pace " Get to the point! " Don t take them personally " Practice being in an task mode " Let them take the lead / give them more responsibility " Don t talk to them on airplanes!

13 Overview of the Amiable "Patient and well balanced "Quiet but witty "Sympathetic and kind "Inoffensive "They don t make waves

14 The Amiable Strengths and Weaknesses "Easygoing "Likeable "Diplomatic "Organized "Calm "Blasé "Selfish "Stubborn "Indecisive "Conflict avoiders

15 How Amiables Can Be Annoying " You re too sensitive " You let people roll over the top of you " You won t take a stand on issues " You drive too slow " You re too needy sometimes " You avoid conflict or give in too much and things get swept under the rug

16 How to Deal With Annoying Amiables " Be gentle/not brash " Don t overwhelm them or stress them " Show kindness and consideration " Slow your pace down / don t rush them " Ask them to share their opinion " Give them personal and sincere praise

17 Overview of the Expressive " The life of the party " Turn disaster into humor " Prevent dull moments " Generous people " Eternal optimists

18 The Expressive Strengths and Weaknesses "Outgoing "Ambitious "Charismatic "Enthusiastic "Young at heart "Disorganized "Undisciplined "Obnoxious "Loud "VERBOSE!

19 How Exppressives Can Be Annoying " You talk too much; you talk too loud " You exaggerate too much " You drive too fast and too carelessly " You are too reactive at times " You re not focused enough at times " You get obnoxious in conflict and attack people verbally

20 How to Deal With Annoying Expressives " Lighten up and have a sense of humor " Let them talk / vent " Show an interest in their interests " Let them have fun and party " Try to see the heart of the issue " Give them grace when they re in reactive mode

21 Now if you want to find out to how deal with each style as friends, spouses, co-workers, children, bosses, employees, etc. Pick up the book. Just go to: Or call

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