WINNING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE. Thelma Hagood First Baptist Church of Glenarden May 23, 2015
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1 WINNING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Thelma Hagood First Baptist Church of Glenarden May 23, 2015
2 WINNING with Difficult People Learning Objectives 1. Understand Biblical Principles for Loving and Embracing Difficult People 2. Identify the Four Spiritual Temperaments 3. Review Characteristics of Difficult People 4. Tips for Winning
3 WINNING with Difficult People If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18 Do you know difficult people? The answer for most of us is a resounding - Yes, Lord!
4 WINNING with Difficult People Definition Difficult ~ requiring considerable mental and/or physical effort Winning ~ to gain the VICTORY
5 DO YOU KNOW ANYONE LIKE THIS?
6 Characteristics of Difficult People Operate with a double agenda Struggle with anger Have low self-esteem Try to manipulate Appear arrogant Need to control everything Focus solely on themselves.
7 The Four Primary Temperaments Choleric In control Very decisive Will use the dictator approach in conflict Will be open to win-win approach Sanguine Life of the party Everyone s best friend Unorganized Never finishes Phlegmatic Passive Does not like change Necessary for leaders (all Cs) Great reconcilers (peace and harmony) Melancholy Analyst Perfectionist Will not make a quick decision
8 DIFFICULT PEOPLE ~ WILD ANIMALS The Bull The Fox The Hyena The Ostrich The Turkey The Lion
9 THE BULL Bulls come out charging, always on the offensive, believing everyone else is inferior. Intimidating. Blows up quickly. Will go on and on in the conversation. Aggressive.
10 THE FOX Foxes can be cunning and manipulative and will always be the first to fight against plans. May have another agenda. Will try to get loud to embarrass you into a quick resolution on their side. Avoids questions.
11 THE HYENA Hyenas create a negative atmosphere by being sarcastic and casting doubt on everything -Creates an environment of perpetuated negativity. -Raises accusatory questions under the guise of sarcasm. -Out of control. -Impatient. -Paranoid. -On the edge.
12 THE OSTRICH Ostriches bury their heads in the sand, trying to avoid problems rather than deal with them. Gives yes or no answers. Keeps silent. Unmovable. Can never count on their support for anything.
13 THE TURKEY Turkeys always find the one thing that s wrong with anything identifying problems, but never offering solutions. Can be passive. Can not make a decision to save their lives. Can be defensive Unclear in their complaint. High whine factor.
14 THE LION Lions maintain a superior position and espouse the position of my way or the highway! They are large and in charge! Knows everything about everything. Does not try to understand others point of view. Does not recognize own faults.
15 A MINUTE WITH MAXWELL WINNING
16 HOW DO WE WIN? With Love and Kindness 1. Speak With Respect 2. Follow The Pattern In Matthew Sometimes You Need To Walk Away 4. Their Argument May Not Be With You 5. Remember You Are Accountable To God 6. Treat People With Love 7. Pray For Them
17 WINNING ACTION # 1 Speak with Respect Ephesians 4:15 But, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head Christ Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
18 WINNING ACTION # 2 Follow the Pattern in Matthew 18 Speak privately to the individual Pray in the spirit so that your voice level and tone will be calm Be clear and direct Don t draw attention to yourself
19 WINNING ACTION # 3 Sometimes You Need to Walk Away Sometimes it is better to walk away from an argument than to continue to dwell on it. Don t take on a fight unnecessarily. Walk away!
20 WINNING ACTION # 4 Their Argument May Not Be With You People take out their frustrations on others Anger is often misplaced and/or misguided Don t take it personally! Job 10:1 My soul loathes my life; I will give free course to my complaint, I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
21 WINNING ACTION # 5 Remember You Are Accountable To God You cannot control what another person does You can control how you respond God will hold us responsible for the way we act and/or respond
22 WINNING ACTION # 6 Treat People with Love Deal with people in LOVE Love the unsaved and saved Your love may bring conviction and it could help them turn to God for forgiveness They will accept Him as Lord and Savior.
23 WINNING ACTION # 7 Pray for Them 1 Thessalonians 5:12-18 Paul asked for grace
24 A MINUTE WITH MAXWELL PEACEMAKER
25 WINNING TIP The 30 Second Rule
26 FINAL THOUGHT! I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness Jeremiah 31:3 Kindness is a fruit that comes from the Holy Spirit planted in our lives. Love in such a way that they will want to know more about God.
27 QUESTIONS
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BOOGIE BROWN PRODUCTIONS
All songs written and composed by Clinton Fearon Published by Jamin International Music - BMI Produced by Clinton Fearon. and 2006 Boogie Brown Productions All rights reserved. No duplication without authorization.
Mindfulness acceptance of what is coming up in the mind; comfortable, or uncomfortable and without judgment
OA in Action Soul Food for My Mind, Body and Spirit These suggestions have been gathered from several members in the rooms of OA. Soul Food for the Mind What is probably true in most cases is that the
Four skits on. Getting Along. By Kathy Applebee
1 Four skits on Getting Along By Kathy Applebee These 4 skits are part of the Kempsville Church of Christ character education program. 2 Dog Hats CHARACTERS: A and B as dogs. A and B should ham it up,
Assessments: Multiple Choice-Shakespeare s Romeo and Juliet. Restricted Response Performance- Romeo and Juliet Alternate Ending & Scene Creation
Assessment Set for Shakespeare Unit: 9 th Grade English Assessments: Multiple Choice-Shakespeare s Romeo and Juliet Restricted Response Performance- Romeo and Juliet Alternate Ending & Scene Creation Portfolio-
Misc Fiction Irony Point of view Plot time place social environment
Misc Fiction 1. is the prevailing atmosphere or emotional aura of a work. Setting, tone, and events can affect the mood. In this usage, mood is similar to tone and atmosphere. 2. is the choice and use