MIDDLE YEARS PROGRAMME. Teacher Support Material. English A. Assessed Student Work INTERNATIONAL BACCALAUREATE ORGANIZATION

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1 MIDDLE YEARS PROGRAMME Teacher Support Material English A Assessed Student Work k INTERNATIONAL BACCALAUREATE ORGANIZATION

2 MYP English A Teacher Support Material: Assessed Student Work January 2004 The International Baccalaureate Organization wishes to acknowledge the work of IB teachers and examiners in the production of this document. The IBO is grateful for permission to reproduce copyright material in this publication. If there are any errors or omissions, if notified, the IBO will be pleased to rectify them at the earliest opportunity. International Baccalaureate Organization 2004 Organisation du Baccalauréat International Route des Morillons 15 Grand-Saconnex, Genève CH-1218 SWITZERLAND

3 Contents General introduction Introduction to the assessed student work iii iv Assessed student work English A Essay 1 Night (Elie Wiesel): analysis of the death march and the train journey... E1:1 E1:5 2 The Cask of Amontillado : critical response... E2:1 E2:3 3 Lord of the Flies: pigs and evil... E3:1 E3:5 Creative writing 1 Poem: She Came with Cold Fingers... C1:1 C1:4 2 Deceptions of love: sonnets and analysis of Iago s deceptions in Othello by William Shakespeare... 3 The Masquerade, the Fox and the Quilt : a new soliloquy for Iago and an explanation of its significance... C2:1 C2:7 C3:1 C3:6 Response to literature 1 Theban letter to the editor... R1:1 R1:3 2 Hamlet s dream... R2:1 R2:4 3 Poetry assignment: animal poems... R3:1 R3:3 4 Poem commentary: Dulce et Decorum Est by Wilfred Owen R4:1 R4:6 5 Persuasive speech: Choose Humanity... R5:1 R5:5 MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 i

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5 General introduction Teacher support material accompanies the guide for each subject group and the personal project within the Middle Years Programme (MYP). This document, which contains assessed student work, is printed in loose-leaf format for ease of use. Teacher support material is intended to give practical help that supports understanding and implementation of the theory evident in the guides for the subject groups. The main focus of the student work assessment is the use of the final assessment criteria, but other issues are also addressed, such as the appropriateness of tasks set in an MYP classroom. Acknowledgments Thanks are due to the schools and students who allowed the use of their work in this document and to the experienced MYP practitioners who worked so carefully on the student work assessment pages. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 iii

6 Introduction to the assessed student work In this teacher support material, each example of assessed student work is divided into two parts: student work assessment student work. Student work assessment The student work assessment shows clearly for each example how the chosen work was assessed using the published final assessment criteria. A box in the top right-hand corner of the page shows the criterion levels given to the piece of work. The title of the work follows this on the page. A Background section describes the work done to produce the final piece. Other explanatory information is included in this section, such as time allowed for the assignment, the important points to note in this example and the appropriateness of the task in relation to the final assessment criteria. The Assessment section looks closely at each criterion addressed by the example. The criterion levels given have been awarded by experienced MYP practitioners. The relevant descriptor from each criterion is given. A paragraph follows that explains why the level shown was given. This paragraph may also contain more detailed comments on certain parts of the assignment, reference to the appropriateness of using a specific task to address a particular criterion and any other remarks thought to be helpful to teachers. Student work The student work itself follows the student work assessment in each example. For ease of use, all the student work has been transcribed. However, the pieces of work are presented in their original styles, which may include spelling, grammatical and any other errors. Some points of detail in these pieces of work will not be relevant. More importance should be given to the fact that these examples show the application of the assessment criteria in evaluating student work and also reveal some of the various standards of work that may be encountered by teachers in the MYP. Specific characteristics of the samples It should also be remembered that these examples of student work come largely from students in the fifth year of the MYP and have also been taken mostly from moderation samples. It is possible that modified criteria may be used for assessing the work of younger students or, indeed, a school may have its own system of ensuring that the subject objectives are being addressed by these students. The examples here also tend to adhere to the prescribed minimum set down in the moderation guidelines for each subject group, but teachers are encouraged to continue to use a wide variety of assessment tools, both formative and summative, as they evaluate the work of their students. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 iv

7 English A Essay Student work assessment Criterion A B C Level achieved Night (Elie Wiesel): analysis of the death march and the train journey Background At the end of the unit studying Elie Wiesel s Night, the students wrote an analytical essay discussing the work as a memoir. The specifics of the assignment were as follows. Assignment Criterion A: content. The essay must address the topic in detail, making more than one key point; quotes and examples should be used to support each point; the essay should demonstrate a solid understanding of the text and the underlying ideas relevant to the topic; the essay should explore the topic with some originality and depth; the essay should discuss the text as a memoir. Criterion B: organization. Each paragraph must be relevant to the topic; the essay must follow the accepted structure of introduction, development and conclusion; each paragraph should contain references to the text and links from references to the topic; each paragraph should explore one central point. Criterion C: style and language usage. The style must be appropriate for an essay; vocabulary should be varied and suitable for analytical discussion; literary terms should be used where appropriate; there should be few language errors; there should be no spelling errors in word-processed work. The assignment followed several weeks study of Night. Prewriting took the form of mind-maps in which students organized their thoughts in outline format (one week). Students wrote a rough draft (two weeks homework) on which they received feedback in writing circles. Students then incorporated suggestions for improvement into their final draft (one week). MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E1 : 1

8 Assessment Criterion A: content Maximum level The student demonstrates a sufficient understanding of the relevant aspects of the topic or theme. The work displays adequate detail, development and support. Creative pieces reflect a degree of imagination and sensitivity. The student s response to literature demonstrates an awareness of the author s intention and techniques. This work achieved level 5 because the student: displays a sufficient understanding of the theme, explaining how the train journey and death march show memories includes some explanation of the points made; more thorough explanations would provide greater development, enabling the piece to reach a level 6 utilizes direct quotes for support; further explanation of how these quotes prove each point would provide better development and support. Criterion B: organization Maximum level The student s work is basically organized, clear and coherent, and arguments are presented in a logical manner. Paragraph structure and transitions are apparent. When such devices are required, some attention is paid to critical apparatus. This work achieved level 5 because the student: employs basic organization, grouping each idea into its own paragraph explains thoughts clearly and coherently utilizes some transitions within paragraphs; using transitions between paragraphs would enhance the effectiveness of the organization incorporates quotations throughout the essay set off in parentheses; building the quotes into the text itself would create a more natural style could have better utilized the introduction and conclusion, providing a more effective set-up and closure, leading to a stronger overall argument. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E1 : 2

9 Criterion C: style and language usage Maximum level The student s use of vocabulary is usually appropriate and generally varied. Some errors in spelling, pronunciation, punctuation and syntax sometimes hinder communication. The student often uses a register suitable to intention and audience. This work achieved level 5 because the student: makes few errors; writing is accurate attempts to use a register appropriate to the task; inconsistencies in register occur with the occasional colloquialism sometimes repeats expressions; a more precise and varied vocabulary would improve the style. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E1 : 3

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11 Student work Analytical essay responding to Elie Wiesel s Night There are many events and incidents that I find effective that are Night. I have decided that one event stands out over all the others. That is the death march and the train journey after the march (chapter 7). The death march takes place in the end of the book (chapter 6) and is really terrifying. The Germans are losing the war and they decide to abandon the concentration camps with the Jews and bring them to safe places. The death March is an incredible event. The Jews, including Elie Wiesel, have been weakened sincerely by the months in which they have lived in the concentration camps. They are forced to march at quite a fast pace through the night. In this march many Jews die and it is amazing that many were able to keep up with the pace because they were so weakened. They had marched for 42 miles before they were able to rest. The book describes this event from the view of Elie Wiesel, similarly all of the events in the book. The other event is on the train. This event covers a time period of many days. The Jews have been put into a train and receive very little food and drink. The things that stand out in this event are that the Jews even start killing each other for just a few crumbs of bread. Another thing that stands out is the amount of people that died during the train journey. 100 people were put in the wagon where Elie Wiesel was in and only a dozen people came out alive. I find these incidents so effective because of the amazing things that happen during the time. For the death March I find the way that Elie Wiesel has written it, is quite effective. He doesn t bore us with the endless thinking of what he should do. He picks out the most interesting points of the journey and talks about those. An example of this is when the boy falls on the ground just because he has a stomach ache, and dies ( I can t go any longer. My stomach s bursting... ). This event shows us how harsh the Jews were treated and how difficult the journey was. The two main events that happen are some of the most important and interesting ones that happen in the book. They are one of the most important events because they are events that follow up to the death of Elie s father. They are one of the interesting events because as I said the events that happen are amazing. The two events stand out. Somehow I find that they stand out and stay in my memory better than the rest. The death march is fast paced. This is because it is an interesting and frightening event. Elie Wiesel uses mostly negative images because it was a terrifying event and because of his hatred for the Nazis. The negative images that Elie gives are for example, the commanding of the Nazi soldiers ( Faster, you filthy sons of bitches, pg 97), the forcing of marching in the night and the death of so many people in the incident. The mood is quite sad because he keeps on thinking about not stopping and having pity on his father. He also describes the death of a Polish boy, who died just because of having a stomach ache. The death march is a good title for it because it was a torture to the Jews and many of them died. The author first gives an example of a person dying showing how terrible it was ( I can t go any longer, stomach s bursting, pg 97), and then describes the torture he goes through ( my painful foot, a shudder went through me at each step, pg 98) and then finally the struggle to stay alive ( My father s presence was the only thing that stopped me I had no right to let myself die. What would he do without me., pg98). The style is quite easy to read because of the intention of it to the readers, which is that it will be exciting and understood. The quote We were masters of nature, masters of the world, we had forgotten everything, pg 99, uses words that make the passage interesting and very fast to read. It is difficult to do this with difficult language. The train journey occurs further on in the book. It takes place over a few days. It is important because, it is one of the reasons why Elie s farther died. It is also one of the last big negative incidents where the Jews had to suffer. It is effective because some things that were done were very special and I wouldn t have imagined that people could have been so tortured that they would other Jews, it makes the event stand out. An amazing thing is the amount of people that died in the train ( A hundred of us had got into the wagon. A dozen of us got out. ). I find that the pace is rather slow because of the sad mood. The author gives mainly images of the suffering that they are going and the struggle of the people staying alive. I find this the most effective event that occurs in the book because it shows that the Nazis are not the only people that do bad things and the events that happen in this incident are truly amazing. ( Dozens of starving men fought each other to the death for a few crumbs, pg 111). MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E1 : 5

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13 English A Essay Student work assessment The Cask of Amontillado : critical response Criterion A B C Level achieved Background Throughout the class s study of the short story, different aspects of the genre were considered, including setting, plot structure, characterization, conflict, theme, mood and tone. At the end of the unit, the students were asked to write a critical essay on a short story they had not read in class. Assignment Identify the theme of the story and show the literary devices the author has used to express this theme. The essay should include direct quotes from the text. Brainstorming and organizing ideas were the first steps. After this, each student completed a rough draft and then had a conference with the teacher to discuss suggestions for improvement. Assessment Criterion A: content Maximum level The student demonstrates a good understanding of the relevant aspects of the topic or theme. The work displays substantial detail, development and support. Creative pieces reflect substantial imagination and sensitivity. The student s response to literature demonstrates a good appreciation of the author s intention and techniques. This work achieved level 8 because the student: thoughtfully discusses how different aspects of the short story contribute to the development of the theme, showing good understanding of the theme and genre clearly explains irony a concept that is difficult for many students showing good understanding of the short story includes appropriate supporting quotes with clear explanations, resulting in substantial development of ideas discusses the effect of literary devices intelligently, showing a good appreciation of techniques; direct evidence of their contribution to the overall theme as requested in the directions for the assignment would enable this piece to reach the top mark in content. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E2 : 1

14 Criterion B: organization Maximum level The student s work is usually well organized, clear and coherent, and arguments are presented in a thoughtful, logical manner. Paragraph structure and transitions help to develop the ideas. When such devices are required, sufficient attention is paid to critical apparatus. This work achieved level 7 because the student: has written a clear and coherent essay structures paragraphs well, with ideas developing logically and naturally utilizes quotations effectively with occasional minor errors organizes ideas logically, allowing arguments to develop persuasively uses transitions within paragraphs to contribute to the development of ideas; transitions between paragraphs could be stronger, allowing a more persuasive development of the overall argument. Criterion C: style and language usage Maximum level The student s use of vocabulary is usually appropriate and generally varied. Some errors in spelling, pronunciation, punctuation and syntax sometimes hinder communication. The student often uses a register suitable to intention and audience. This work achieved level 5 because the student: utilizes a suitable register throughout the essay attempts to vary the vocabulary, with variable success commits errors frequently while striving for effective sentence variety. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E2 : 2

15 Student work Analytical essay discussing The Cask of Amontillado Some themes are only true for a curtain period in history, however the The Cask of Amontillado by the famous writer Edgar Allan Poe is not one of them. This short story is about a man versus his rival friend, the dislikes between them and the way one deals with this rivalry by his eagerness for revenge. Revenge is the simple theme itself around which like the bricks to the foundation the literary elements bring it come alive. The literary elements such as point of view, characters and conflict along with numerous numbers of irony are all involved in this sp1endid piece of work by the writer. First off all the way this story was written is different to which we have read in class it s not only harder but makes you open up a whole new side to the story. The reason for that being Poe writes this story form the perspective of Montresor (our protagonist) who vows revenge against Fortunato (the antagonist) in an effort to support and keep his family motto Nemo me impune lacessit which basically means no one can attack me with out being punished. I believe and feel that the reader becomes quickly aware of the fact that Montresor is not a reliable narrator, due to the fact that he has a tendency to exaggerate terribly, as he refers to the thousand injuries that he has suffered at the hands of Fortunato. He also tries to convince the reader that his intentions are only for honoring his family s traditional motto. Poe I believe doesn t want us to simplify with Montresor because he has been wronged by Fortunato but rather judge him. Telling the story from the protagonist s point of view intensifies the effect of moral horror. And by this the reader without noticing jumps or is inside the sinister mind of our protagonist. The second literally element which I have noticed was the way Poe used the characters of the story and the way he played with their creation. Although several characters were mentioned the main focus lays on Montresor the narrator of this horror story, and Fortunato for who Montresor pledges revenge for his insults. When the two actually meet during the carnival, there is a warm greeting with shaking of hands which Montresor attributes to the fact that Fortunato had been drinking. Montresor also appears to be happy to see Fortunato since he is planning to murder him. Fortunato s clown or party costume appears to be appropriate not only for the carnival season but also for the fact that Montresor intends to make a fool out of him. The most significant and probably the clearest element used by Poe is irony in all kinds. There are numerous examples of verbal irony (character says one thing and means something else) within Montresor s words. He expresses his concern about Fortunato s health, and several times suggest they should go back for the fear of Fortunato s caught. One of the stories best lines is also ironic, there Montresor in response to Fortunato saying, I will not die of a cough. Montresor says, True-true... Other examples of irony are when Montresor toasts Fortunato a long life as well as when he addresses at the end Fortunato to rest in peace! Dramatic irony also (the reader perceives something that a character in the story does not) occurs when the reader becomes painfully aware of what will become of Fortunato even though the character continues his descent into the catacombs in pursuit of the Amontillado. The Cask of Amontillado is truly a great work of literature and one recommends it to all who wish to see an ironic horror within or with the eyes of a complicated and strange character. In this story everything contributed to a curtain unique and single effect. Poe further adds to this effect by calling the character Fortunato (who is anything but fortunate), and by the end of Poe s story, Montresor has gotten his revenge against unsuspecting Fortunato, whose taste for wine has led him to his death. Once again we are reminded of the coat of arms and the Montresor family motto. The insignia is symbolic of Montresor s evil character, who like the serpent intends to get revenge. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E2 : 3

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17 English A Essay Student work assessment Criterion A B C Level achieved Lord of the Flies: pigs and evil Background After studying Lord of the Flies by William Golding, the students wrote an expository essay, selecting one of three possible topics. All three questions were based on ideas already discussed/analysed/ considered in class. While the possible topics provided enough guidance for the weaker students, the topics also provided room for the more able students to explore new ideas. Assignment Select one of the following topics to develop into an expository essay, utilizing a variety of precise quotes to support your view. 1. Discuss how one symbol encapsulates the theme of Lord of the Flies. 2. Select a main character. Discuss how this character represents a main idea of the novel. 3. In many works of literature, nature parallels society, illustrating the significance of setting. Explain how this technique is utilized in Lord of the Flies. Strive for a well-organized, articulate, thoughtful response to the question, showing your perceptive understanding of the novel. The writing process started with the students generating their thoughts in a brainstorm, then selecting and organizing their ideas into an outline with specific supporting quotes from the text, and noting the principles of organization used. After the outline was finished, the students worked in peer groups to explain their ideas, both the content and the organization. Over the course of three lessons, the students wrote a rough draft. They then edited this draft using feedback from their peers, an essay self-check list and the MYP criteria. The edited draft was then submitted to the teacher for feedback. All suggestions for improvement were considered and possibly incorporated into the final draft, taking one week to complete. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E3 : 1

18 Assessment Criterion A: content Maximum level The student demonstrates a perceptive understanding of the relevant aspects of the topic or theme. The work consistently displays illustrative detail, development and support. Creative pieces reflect a high degree of imagination and sensitivity. The student s response to literature demonstrates a sophisticated analysis of the author s intention and techniques. This work achieved level 9 because the student: demonstrates a sophisticated analysis of the author s intention and techniques by noting key scenes and explaining the significance of nuance and the implication of language exhibits a perceptive understanding by identifying the theme of the work captured in one symbol. The pigs, and the horrors that happen to them throughout the novel, clearly encapsulate the theme of the work selects and incorporates quotes effectively, interweaving key passages seamlessly into the text explains the significance and relevance of each quote within each paragraph, thus providing consistent, thorough development of the ideas makes some slightly weaker connections between the symbol and the theme, resulting in a level 9 rather than a level 10. Criterion B: organization Maximum level The student s work is consistently well organized, clear and coherent, and arguments are presented in a perceptive and persuasive manner. Paragraph structure and transitions effectively develop and substantiate the ideas being expressed. When such devices are required, critical conventions and apparatus are used in a sophisticated manner. This work achieved level 9 because the student: structures arguments effectively, clearly showing the development of the central idea throughout the text presents ideas clearly and coherently organizes paragraphs effectively, making an assertion and then proving the claim through explanation and quotation interwoven naturally utilizes transitions within paragraphs well; however, these transitions could be improved. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E3 : 2

19 Criterion C: style and language usage Maximum level The student s use of vocabulary is always appropriate and greatly varied with very infrequent errors in spelling, pronunciation, punctuation and syntax. The student has mastered the use of a register suitable to intention and audience. This work achieved level 9 because the student: utilizes a varied and precise word choice consistently uses an effective register experiments with new expressions, with some being more effective than others. These occasional misused phrases result in a level 9 rather than a level 10. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E3 : 3

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21 Student work Expository essay in response to Lord of the Flies Is evil an inevitable aspect of man that is hidden by the mask of civilisation? In his confronting and shocking novel, Lord of the Flies, Golding portrays the evil within man through a seemingly innocent animal; a pig. Throughout the novel, the characters represent the fall from civility to a state of savage dimensions as the mask of civilisation slowly disintegrates. The influence of society on an individual can control the evil within him. However, as this influence fades and gradually disappears, evil emerges and dictates the actions and thoughts of that individual. The diminishing of societal influence is demonstrated by the killing of the pigs in Lord of the Flies. Golding shows the boys initial innocence through their inability to kill pigs. The boys consider the hunting of pigs as a challenge and do not foresee the atrocious and shocking consequences of a seemingly innocent game. They are unable to imagine these consequences because they are protected by the shield of society. The society in which the boys formerly lived protected them from anything that might sully their innocence thus preventing them from seeing further than their immediate actions. When given the opportunity to kill a pig, Jack is unable to do so...because of the enormity of the knife descending and cutting into living flesh... The boys are still under the strong influence of societal norms and abide to the rules set by figures of authority in their former lives. Society views children as a symbol of innocence and the education of children is influenced by this perception. As the novel proceeds the influence of society diminishes and the boys become more eager to spill blood, reflecting the emergence of evil and the loss of innocence. Contrary to the initial reluctance to kill a living animal, Jack is now eager to make his first kill. This readiness to kill is a sign of the surfacing of evil within him. Although he fails on his first attempt, he is consequently all the more determined to kill a pig....[t]he compulsion to track down and kill was swallowing him up. As a result of the weakening influence of authority and order, the boys are relatively free to do as they please. Jack interprets this freedom as being able to kill without having to bear the consequences. However, societal influence has not been completely lost. Despite the fact that Jack is proud of the atrocity which he has committed, I cut the pig s throat, said Jack, proudly... he is troubled by what he has done,...and yet twitched as he said it. Jack somewhat realises that what he has done is wrong and is afraid, showing that he retains some of his innocence. The increase in the brutality and violence of the killings reflects the decrease of societal influence on the boys. Jack becomes obsessed with hunting and as the frequency of these killings increases, so does the violence with which they are committed. The passion with which the hunters hunt and The desire to squeeze and hurt... becomes uncontrollable until they are unable to stop themselves. The killings escalate until they become more than just killings.... [T]he sow fell and the hunters hurled themselves at her... Jack was on top of the sow, stabbing downward... The sow collapsed under them and they were heavy and fulfilled upon her. Jack and his gang commit this killing in such a savage manner that it no longer resembles a killing; rather, it is portrayed as a gang rape. This brutal action is the quintessence of evil, the killings are no longer a mere necessity for survival, they have become acts of pure malevolence. The destructive and evil nature of man has overtaken the boys and they are compelled to kill. Moreover, their ability to distinguish right from wrong has been lost because they no longer possess proper morals and values. The apparent lack of order within the group of boys allows for the true face of evil to replace the mask of civilisation. The increase in the frequency and brutality of the pig killings represents the evil in man that is allowed to overtake when the influence of society is lost. Through the killing of pigs in his novel Lord of the Flies, Golding successfully portrays that as the mask of order and civility fades, the true evil nature of man emerges. Golding shows us that, given the wrong circumstances, the evil within all of us can emerge and its influence can become so strong that we disregard the effects of our actions. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 E3 : 5

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23 English A Creative writing Student work assessment Poem: She Came with Cold Fingers Criterion A B C Level achieved n/a 6 5 Background While studying poetry, along with the usual range of poetic devices and styles of poetry, the importance of structure and its role in developing meaning were emphasized. At the end of this extensive poetry unit, students wrote original poems. Assignment Write an original poem. The poem should create an experience for the reader by provoking feelings and thoughts. (As the best writing springs from experience, it s a good idea to draw on your own experiences.) The structure of the poem should complement and contribute to the meaning. Incorporate poetic devices to enhance the ideas. A rough draft was submitted to the teacher, who discussed it with each student prior to the completion of the final draft. Assessment Criterion A: content Maximum level 10 Not applicable This work has not been assessed against criterion A as evaluating the content of a poem can be problematic. As the unit of work leading up to creation of the poem focused on structure and language, evaluating the content may not be appropriate. If specific guidelines/discussion regarding content had been considered, this criterion could have been applied to the poem. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C1 : 1

24 Criterion B: organization Maximum level The student s work is basically organized, clear and coherent, and arguments are presented in a logical manner. Paragraph structure and transitions are apparent. When such devices are required, some attention is paid to critical apparatus. This work achieved level 6 because the student: utilizes stanzas effectively, developing one image in each stanza develops ideas in a basic chronological order which, while clear, does not achieve the thoughtful order required for a level 7 8. Criterion C: style and language usage Maximum level The student s use of vocabulary is usually appropriate and generally varied. Some errors in spelling, pronunciation, punctuation and syntax sometimes hinder communication. The student often uses a register suitable to intention and audience. This work achieved level 5 because the student: creates a consistent and appropriate tone of sad regret throughout the poem attempts to use rhyme with mixed results. While the vocabulary is varied, some of the expressions are stilted commits frequent punctuation errors. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C1 : 2

25 Student work Poem: She Came with Cold Fingers, She Left with my Heart She came with cold fingers, Asking for some warmth. Her boyfriend had left her, And had shown no remorse. I stopped to think, But only for a second. For I had let her in, When I awed strikingly beckoned. Now we both sat, In the warm living room. As she warmed her hands, While looking out at the moon. For in the reflection, Of the shimmering glass mirror. I saw not the moon, But a goddess mirrored. Her face was truly, A wonderful sight to see. Her everlasting beauty, Crawled all over me. Her eyes were so gentle, So soft and so free. I thought, She is so caring, Like a willow tree. Her clothes are so modest, So gentle and fair. That even if dirty, One could not care. Her hair was yellow straw, Her lips rose red. There wasn t a flaw, In anything that she said. Her face was a wonder, That would make anyone think About how stunning she was, Dressed in a shocking pink. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C1 : 3

26 Student work She was a splendor, A gift from God. A playful image, That made me just nod. For whatever she said, Was filled with calm and care. I could not believe, That she really sat there. But it could not last, It wasn t to be. She took one last sip from her flask, Then turn to thank me. You don t have to go, I said with despair. There is a spare bedroom, I don t really care. But she just thanked me for helping her, For taking her in. I said, Not a problem, We re all in a way, kin. And she was gone, She turned away. She left me alone, She came with cold fingers, but left with my heart. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C1 : 4

27 English A Creative writing Student work assessment Criterion A B C Level achieved Deceptions of love: sonnets and analysis of Iago s deceptions in Othello by William Shakespeare Background After studying Othello by William Shakespeare, the students composed a piece of creative writing as a follow-up writing activity. The students kept a reading-response log while reading Othello. They formed five different acting companies; they picked a scene from one of the five acts; they prepared the scene; they made subtext decisions about elements such as costuming, staging and interpretation; they developed a director s prompt book and presented the scenes to the class. The teacher evaluated the presentations. The students also reviewed poetic devices and applied them to Othello as well as to a selection of the sonnets. Assignment Create a pastiche, sonnets, creative prequel or sequel, love letters, or missing scene from Othello, and provide notes explaining your choices and developments. Remember that even though this is a creative piece, you are showing your knowledge of the play and analytical skills in interpreting characters and plot in a new way (content). Of course, structure must be purposeful and persuasive. Language must also be used effectively and suited to the task chosen; choose either Shakespearean or modern. Create your own ideas, and discuss them with your teacher for approval. This will be a multi-draft piece (planning, rough draft, revision and a final draft). Choose one of the following topics for your assignment. 1. Write a new monologue by one of the characters that provides insight into the character and plot. 2. Choose a place in the play that you feel is missing some vital information, and write a new scene that reveals insight into the plot and characters. 3. Write Othello: The Post Years revealing the characters lives after the end of the play. 4. Write a series of four sonnets that tie into the play Othello and reveal information about characters and/or plot. The students were given one week to write their topic proposal. They then had 10 days in which to complete a rough draft and peer edit. The students took another 10 days to prepare the final draft. Only the conference with the teacher (topic approval) and peer editing occurred during class time; all other work was done outside of class. The following piece is a series of four sonnets. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C2 : 1

28 Assessment Criterion A: content Maximum level The student demonstrates a good understanding of the relevant aspects of the topic or theme. The work displays substantial detail, development and support. Creative pieces reflect substantial imagination and sensitivity. The student s response to literature demonstrates a good appreciation of the author s intention and techniques. This work achieved level 7 because the student: demonstrates a good understanding of the theme of manipulation utilizes a variety of points of view in the sonnet, revealing a firm grasp of the relevant aspects of the theme begins to explain ideas thoroughly; however, further development of ideas in the analysis would provide a clearer explanation. Criterion B: organization Maximum level The student s work is usually well organized, clear and coherent, and arguments are presented in a thoughtful, logical manner. Paragraph structure and transitions help to develop the ideas. When such devices are required, sufficient attention is paid to critical apparatus. This work achieved level 8 because the student: explains ideas clearly and coherently in the sonnets as well as in the analysis utilizes the structure of the sonnet accurately, organizing thoughts and rhyme scheme according to the specifications of this complicated poem employs consistent iambic pentameter with a fair degree of success: a difficult feat for the best of poets. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C2 : 2

29 Criterion C: style and language usage Maximum level The student s use of vocabulary is appropriate and varied. Occasional errors in spelling, pronunciation, punctuation and syntax rarely hinder communication. The student consistently uses a register suitable to intention and audience. This work achieved level 7 because the student: incorporates quotes accurately writes with a good degree of accuracy even with more complicated structures utilizes a varied vocabulary, although some expressions and phrases are repeated within the analysis, which results in a level 7 rather than a level 8. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C2 : 3

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31 Student work Deceptions of love in Othello Statement of intent Othello a Moor and Venetian general, is wed to Desdemona, the daughter of a Venetian senator. After Othello gives Cassio the position of lieutenant, Iago, a close friend of Othello, plans to destroy Othello. In William Shakespeare s Othello, Shakespeare uses Iago, who manipulates the other characters through the deceptions of love he creates between the other characters, to show how love is easily manipulated into war. The sonnets and Shakespeare s Othello reveal how Iago manipulates people through the deception of love he creates between Desdemona and Othello, which leads to war. Iago convinces Othello of Desdemona s alleged infidelity with Cassio ( ) and reassures Desdemona that Othello s rage and jealousy is nothing to fear ( ). With these deceptions Iago is able to drive Othello mad with jealousy, which in turn ends with the death of Othello and Desdemona. In the beginning of the play, Iago makes Roderigo believe he can win Desdemona back if he is very wealthy ( ) because Desdemona and Othello s love is short-lived. Iago is able to manipulate Roderigo through a deception in the love between Desdemona and Othello, which leads to his assault with Cassio. In the sonnets I showed the deception, made by Iago, which resulted in war and ultimately death. For example, lines from Roderigo s sonnet show the deceptions made by Iago (5, 6, 11, and 12), which later lead to the conclusion, I went to kill Cassio with my sword, but he did kill me without my last word (13-14). Shakespeare uses a single character, Iago, to show how love is manipulated into war. Iago creates a deception of love and friendship between himself and the other characters, which lead to the manipulation of love into war. Iago uses his own wife in order to obtain the handkerchief ( ), which has the power to drive Othello and Desdemona apart (3.4.81). He deceives his wife who does not know why he wants the handkerchief but gives it to him because she loves him. However, when she finds out what is happening he kills her. Iago plays off of the relationships and specifically deceptions of love he creates between characters, in order to manipulate them into killing each other. Emilia s sonnet reads, Though I fear he may be up to no good...but it means so much to my fair lady... I gave it to him to do as he wished (2, 6, 10). I used this to show that in spite of the fact that Desdemona loved the handkerchief, and Emilia suspected Iago to be planning something, she gave the handkerchief to her husband. This shows Emilia s love toward Iago and her belief that Iago loves her in return. Again, Shakespeare uses Iago to manipulate the other characters love into war. In Othello, love is used to bring people at war with one another and Shakespeare demonstrates how this is easily accomplished with one character. Iago devises an elaborate set of lies in order to manipulate the other characters and bring them to war with each other. Iago demonstrates Homo Faber in that he shows the ability of humans to think methodically. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C2 : 5

32 Student work Sonnets The fair Desdemona turned me down once Though my friend Iago reassures me. He said I should have Desdemona, hence My efforts have had me search for the key. It was all too clear that I should impress. I saved up my money and gave her gifts. When I did not see her in the new dress, I knew he had set me up to be miffed. I went to Iago without delay, And asked what kind of fool he saw me as. He said it was Cassio who should pay, For what we want is what Cassio has. I went to kill Cassio with my sword, But he did kill me with out one last word. When first my eyes did see him standing there, He stood and talked so bravely I felt scared. As time went on I saw he was more fair, I showed only the emotions I dared. I loved him for the journeys he had told, He loved me, for that I did care for them. We did profess our love to be so bold, Though it was said to be a passing whim. He and I did prove our love to be strong, Until the handkerchief was dropped and lost. He was cold and rude to me for so long, With flaring temper cold as morning frost. He spoke to me one last time in our bed, And before night was over I lay dead. My husband Iago is close to all, Though I fear he may be up to no good. His hate for the Moor may lead to his fall, He does not tell me though I wish he would. He bids me to steal the red handkerchief, But it means so much to my fair lady. Its powers are backed by Egyptian myth, Though he does bother me almost daily. The Handkerchief dropped and I did find it, I gave it to him to do as he wished. If only I had known his plans for it, I would soon have returned it unblemished. I see where he is and what he has done, Time has run out; now all is lost and gone. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C2 : 6

33 Student work The knave has stolen my lieutenancy, And the fair Othello will pay for it. I tell the fool to save up currency, For he will help me through his lack of wit. Desdemona and my wife can assist, Though I am esteemed to be a great friend. Imagine him not able to resist, He is too stiff and will not dare to bend. With the handkerchief in my possession, No one can stop my ingenious plan. He soon will end his jealous obsession, And find the truth about his greatest fan. They kill each other at my own command, One will remain; only one left to stand. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C2 : 7

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35 English A Creative writing Student work assessment Criterion A B C Level achieved The Masquerade, the Fox and the Quilt : a new soliloquy for Iago and an explanation of its significance Background After studying Othello by William Shakespeare, the students composed a piece of creative writing as a follow-up writing activity. The students kept a reading-response log while reading Othello. They formed five different acting companies; they picked a scene from one of the five acts; they prepared the scene; they made subtext decisions about elements such as costuming, staging and interpretation; they developed a director s prompt book and presented the scenes to the class. The teacher evaluated the presentations. The students also reviewed poetic devices and applied them to Othello as well as to a selection of the sonnets. Assignment Create a pastiche, sonnets, creative prequel or sequel, love letters, or missing scene from Othello, and provide notes explaining your choices and developments. Remember that even though this is a creative piece, you are showing your knowledge of the play and analytical skills in interpreting characters and plot in a new way (content). Of course, structure must be purposeful and persuasive. Language must also be used effectively and suited to the task chosen; choose either Shakespearean or modern. Create your own ideas, and discuss them with your teacher for approval. This will be a multi-draft piece (planning, rough draft, revision and a final draft). Choose one of the following topics for your assignment. 1. Write a new monologue by one of the characters that provides insight into the character and plot. 2. Choose a place in the play that you feel is missing some vital information, and write a new scene that reveals insight into the plot and characters. 3. Write Othello: The Post Years revealing the characters lives after the end of the play. 4. Write a series of four sonnets that tie into the play Othello and reveal information about characters and/or plot. The students were given one week to write their topic proposal. They then had 10 days in which to complete a rough draft and peer edit. The students took another 10 days to prepare the final draft. Only the conference with the teacher (topic approval) and peer editing occurred during class time; all other work was done outside of class. The following piece is in response to topic 1: Write a new monologue by one of the characters that provides insight into the character and plot. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C3 : 1

36 Assessment Criterion A: content Maximum level The student demonstrates a perceptive understanding of the relevant aspects of the topic or theme. The work consistently displays illustrative detail, development and support. Creative pieces reflect a high degree of imagination and sensitivity. The student s response to literature demonstrates a sophisticated analysis of the author s intention and techniques. This work achieved level 10 because the student: demonstrates a sophisticated analysis in both the soliloquy and explanatory notes. The perceptive comments on the character of Iago as well as the structure of the soliloquy show keen understanding, and these points are articulated convincingly explains ideas clearly, thoroughly and convincingly captures the essence of the character s manipulative traits, showing strong understanding of the theme demonstrates a high degree of imagination in creating apt metaphors. Criterion B: organization Maximum level The student s work is consistently well organized, clear and coherent, and arguments are presented in a perceptive and persuasive manner. Paragraph structure and transitions effectively develop and substantiate the ideas being expressed. When such devices are required, critical conventions and apparatus are used in a sophisticated manner. This work achieved level 10 because the student: presents ideas in a perceptive and persuasive manner. The explanatory notes as well as the soliloquy itself are organized purposefully and effectively explains complicated ideas clearly and coherently, effectively articulating the multiple meanings implied in the extended metaphor created in the soliloquy utilizes transitions effectively. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C3 : 2

37 Criterion C: style and language usage Maximum level The student s use of vocabulary is always appropriate and greatly varied with very infrequent errors in spelling, pronunciation, punctuation and syntax. The student has mastered the use of a register suitable to intention and audience. This work achieved level 10 because the student: uses sophisticated language accurately and artistically uses precise and creative diction to create a clear mood and tone that complement the content employs sophisticated poetic devices naturally and effectively establishes and maintains a register suitable to a Shakespearean soliloquy. MYP English A Teacher Support Material IBO, January 2004 C3 : 3