GLENCOE LANGU GE ARrs

Transcription

1 GLENCOE LANGU GE ARrs High School Glencoe McGraw-Hili New York, New York Colmbs, Ohio Woodland Hills, California Peoria, Illinois

2 EFFECTIVE SENTENCES Lesson 1 Choosing Effective Details... 1 Lesson 2 Saying More with less Lesson 3 Correcting Commonly Missed Terms I... 6 Lesson 4 Correcting Commonly Missed Terms II... '... 8 Lesson 5 Using Pronons Correctly Lesson 6 Using Only Lesson 7 Correcting Doble Negatives Lesson 8 Using Active an,d Passive Voice Lesson 9 Varying Sentence Openers Lesson 10 Lesson 11 Splitting Sbject and Verb I Splitting Sbject and Verb II Lesson 12 Varying Sentence Closers Lesson 13 Adding Clases Lesson 14 Inverting Sentence Order I Lesson 15 Inverting Sentence Order II Lesson 16 Revising for Parallelism I Lesson 17 Revising for Parallelism II Lesson 18 Lesson 19 Lesson 20 Lesson 21 Combining Sentences I Combining Sentences II Combining Sentences III Combining Sentences IV COHESIVE PARAGRAPHS Lesson 22 Using Transitions Lesson 23 Bilding Coherent Paragraphs I Lesson 24 Bilding Coherent Paragraphs II Lesson 25 Bilding Coherent Paragraphs III Lesson 26 Bilding Coherent Paragraphs IV Lesson 27 Creating Unity in Paragraphs... '.' Lesson 28 Understanding Elaboration Lesson 29 Elaborating to Persade iii

3 Choosing ERective Details When yo're ready to revise a draft of yor writing, ask yorself whether yo've expressed yorself in the best possible way. How can adding information and revising yor word choice make yor writing more powerfl, convincing, and interesting to read? If yo're not sre how to tackle a revision, the following ideas can give yo a place to start. If yo're writing a description, se evocative adjectives and sensory details. Delicate violets and fire-orange tiger lilies carpeted the lsh ravine. If yo're writing a narrative, se vivid verbs and adverbs that show how the action nfolds. I was sleeping peaceflly when my little brother marched into my room and slammed the door behind him. If yo're writing exposition, se careflly selected examples, facts, and reasons to spport yor ideas. Some species of gecko can rn across ceilings jst as easily as they can rn across floors. How do these lizards do it? Rows of tiny hairs with thosands of split ends are arranged in a leaflike pattern on the bottoms of their toe pads. The attraction between these hairs and even the smoothest srface enables the gecko to grab and hold on. If yo're doing persasive writing, se effective evidence and specific words to convince others to spport yor viewpoint. Visit St. Agstine, Florida, the oldest city in the United States. It's a wonderfl vacation destination for families becase there is something for everyone: sandy beaches, historical sites, interesting shops, and msic festivals. EXERCISE A Incorporate the details listed in parentheses at the end of each sentence, adding or replacing words as needed. Yor revision shold be more colorfl, convincing, and compelling than the original. Sample Revision As the bottle began to go ot to sea, a wave came and broght it baclf to the shore. (crashed, drift, enormos, pshed) As the bottle began to drift ot to sea, an enormos wave crashed and pshed it back to the shore. 1. Throghot the day in the desert, a gecko stayed ot of the heat, resting in the shade of a rock. (gravelly, jtting, sweltering) 2. The gecko waited for the sn to set and the air to cool before it went ot for food. (foraged, patiently) Revising with Style 1

4 Saying More with Less When yo revise yor writing, look for ways to say more with less. By shortening wordy phrases, yo can make yor sentences more effective and yor writing more concise. Notice the difference between the first sentence below and the two that follow. Wordy Concise Concise I wore a coat for the reason that I was cold. I wore a coat becase I was cold. I wore a coat since I was cold. The phrase for the reason that may be familiar to the ear, bt the words becase and since work jst as well-and in a shorter space. Compare the two colmns below and notice how some common bt wordy phrases can be sensibly shortened. as to whether de to the fact that dri ng the period that he is someone who in a qick manner prior to regardless of the fact that sbseqent to with regard to whether becase or since when he qickly before althogh or even thogh after abot Yo may be tempted to se wordy phrases like the ones shown above when writing formal school reports or bsiness letters. While these phrases may lend a more formal tone, they may also make yor writing sond nnatral or inathentic. Strive to find yor own writing voice-withot sing wordy phrases like these. EXERCISE Rewrite each of the following sentences, replacing wordy phrases with shorter, more concise terms. Sample What do yo know concerning the matter of Mary H. Kingsley? 'c:: Revision What do yo know abot Mary H. Kingsley'? 1. Born in England in 1862, Kingsley was a person who spent mch of her yoth caring for her sickly mother and brother. Revising with Style 3

5 10. Prior to retrning to England in 1895, she collected many new and rare species of beetle and fish and made carefl ethnological stdies of tribal cltre. ' 11. Her travels along the Ogowe River and throgh jngle to the Rembwe River were all the more remarkable considering the fact that the region had never been mapped. 12. Prior to her, nobody had climbed the northeast face of Mont Cameroon, an ascent of 13,350 feet. 13. When Kingsley fell throgh a camoflaged animal trap onto twelve-inch spikes, she handled the crisis in a brave manner. ", '2 14. The books she wrote with regard to her travels were immediate bestsellers. rei 0.. S o :E i 15. More than a centry following the time that her first book was pblished, Kingsley contines to be admired by thosands of readers. <li Revising with Style 5

6 What is bartering? It's a direct exchange of goods and services. If yo were a sheepherder living nder the barter system, yo cold of gone to a market to exchange sheep for grain. If the sack of grain was worth only half a sheep, than yo might have had a problem. Of corse, getting the sheep to the market might all ready have been a problem. Money was invented to make a exchange of goods or services easier. If yo had to choose among paying for things with sheep or with dollar bills, which wold yo prefer? Yo'd want to se the lightest, smallest, most drable form of prchasing power a seller wold except. Given that paper money is light, small, and drable, it's altogether nderstandable why paper money works so well..5 Revising with Style 1

7 5. Their money sets in the bank ntil the credit-card bill is'de. 6. People's credit cards cold be stolen, yet they woldn't loose any money if they canceled their cards immediately. 7. A credit-card company will occasionally rise the interest rates that people have to pay. 8. However, people who pay their bills on time avoid paying interest, irregardless of the rate. 9. May yo predict how mch a hndred dollars will by fifty years from now? 10. If yo pt a hndred dollars in the bank now and let it thee, it will earn compond interest. Revising with Style 9

8 Date Using Only When revising yor writing, check to be sre that the modifiers are where they belong. If yo pt a modifier in the wrong place, the meaning of yor words may be nclear or yo may deliver an nintended message. An especially tricky modifier is the adverb only-a small word that has a big effect on meaning. As a general rle, place only immediately before the word or grop of words it modifies. Take a look at the sentence below: A few,men in the United States are named only Bertram. This sentence seems to say that a few men in the United States are named jst Bertram-they have neither a middle name nor a last name. The writer probably meant to say that there aren't many men in the United States named Bertram. The sentence shold be revised as follows: Only a few men in the United States are named Bertram. EXERCISE None of the sentences below reflect the writer's intended meaning becase the word only is in the wrong position. Given the meaning described in parentheses at the end of each sentence, se an arrow to mark the correct position of only. Sample Most people know the first name of only the painter Raphael. (Most people don't know his last name was Sanzio.) 1. Some people think that having the right name is the path only to sccess. (There is no other path.) 2. There was a time when movie stars and con artists only changed their names. (No one else did.) 3. The model Norma Jean Baker, for example, changed her name to Marilyn Monroe a short while only after signing her first contract with a film stdio. (She changed her name not long after signing.) 4. Afew people only know that John Wayne was the stage name of Marion Morrison. (Most people do not know.) S. John Wayne was not only the actor's stage name; he appeared in his first few films as Dke Morrison. (He had more than one stage name.) 6. Mathilda isn't the name that means only "brave." (Other names also mean "brave.") 7. Graham, however, means only "from the gray hose." (No other name means that.) 8. In most states, an application and a birth certificate are only needed to change one's name legally. (One doesn't need anything else to change his or her name legally.) Revising with Style 11

9 Date 4. It coldn't be no simpler than placing mats nderwater for the insects to lay their eggs on. s. Once the eggs are laid, gatherers don't wait none to dry the insects' eggs before making the eggs into cakes. 6. In some African contries, the larvae of honeybees aren't no less poplar than their honey. 7. Ifyo're in the tropics, yo sholdn't get too fond of no dragonflies; they may be grond into a paste and served to yo. 8. Can no one in this contry see that bgs are an excellent sorce of protein? 9. Somebody had once tried a chocolate-covered grasshopper and hadn't barely noticed the grasshopper. 10. Don't say nothing against bg dishes ntil yo've tried them. Revising with Style 13

10 4. Colors are tasted by others. 5. This qirk of the brain is perceived differently by different people. 6. It is called synesthesia. 7. "Sensing together" is meant by synesthesia, a combination of the Greek words syn (together) and aisthesis (sensationj' 8. In people with synesthesia, one sense is triggered by another. 9. Synesthesia has been lived with by many creative people. 10. The letters of the alphabet were seen in colors by writer Vladimir Nabokov. 11. The letter k, for example, was perceived by him as hckleberry ble. 12. Colors were associated with msical tones by the composer Aleksandr Scriabin. Revising with Style 15

11 Varying Sentence Openers Evalate the sentence strctres in any piece of pblished writing-from novels to news articles-and yo're sre to notice one thing: sentence variety is the key to writing that flows graceflly from one sentence to the next. If yo strctre all the sentences in a paragraph the same way-sbject followed by verb followed by direct object, for example-yor paragraph will sond boring and repetitive. Altering the way in which yor own sentences begin is one way to introdce sentence variety and improve the flow of yor writing. Some of the ways to vary yor sentence openers are listed below. Start with adiectives or adverbs. Deep green, shiny, and clear, the emerald sparkled in the jeweler's case. (adjectives) Lodly and insistently, my mother called me to dinner. (adverbs) Start with a preposi'tional phrase. Dring rsh hor, I avoid the freeway. Start with a participle or participial phrase. Shoting his dog's name, Ross headed for the park. (present participial phrase) Cooked to perfection, my father's meal beckoned s to eat. (past participial phrase) Start with an absolte phrase. All things considered, it was a good day. Yo can also se more than one of these options, as in the following example: Qickly, withot fanfare, Eliot handed ot the gifts. (adverb + prepositional phrase) EXERCISE Each item below begins with a sentence model from literatre that has an interesting sentence opener. Combine the sentences that follow into a single sentence that matches the strctre of the literatre model. Yo may omit words or change their forms as yo combine sentence parts. Sample Conscience-stricken, Leo rose and brewed the tea. Bernard Malamd, lithe Magic Barrel" Revision Beth was satisfied. Beth pshed her chair back from the dinner table and excsed herself. Satisfied, Beth pshed her chair back from the dinner table and excsed herself. 1. Fmbling vyith both hands, he once more stck the knife into the sheath. Isak Dinesen, "The Ring" The members of the band sonded as good as ever. They were playing together for the first time in years. Revising with Style 17

12 8. Patient, cold, and callos, or hands wrapped in socks, we waited to snowball the cats. Dylan thomas, "A Child's Christmas in Wales" The prodcer accepted the Oscar for best pictre. She was wide-eyed, joyfl, and prod. Her head was lifted high. 9. Slowly, taking my time, I began the final ascent. Arthr C. Clarke, lithe Sentinel" Leo ran toward the goal line. He ran swiftly. He was holding the football firmly in his arms. 10. For the first time since my arrival, I was very nearly home. 't 'I Maya Angelo, All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes P0 11Y co ld rn a five-mln e ml e, She had been able to rn a five-minte mile for more than a month...s Revising with Style 19

13 Date 3. The scientific weeds, seen from close p, looked straggly and gnarled. tasted better than she remembered baked entirely from scratch her grandmother's pie Anne Tyler, "With All Flags Flying" 4. The forests, somber and dll, stood motionless and silent on each side of the broad stream. Joseph Conrad, "The lagoon" the basketball fans packed into the arena to cheer on their team lod and lively 5. Her other arm, swinging loose, was very white in the sn. Doris lessing, "Throgh the Tnnel" meeting in secret a grop of Hollywood actors formed the Screen Actors Gild in The former tenant of or hose, a priest, had died in the back drawing room. James Joyce, /IAraby" was Virtally eradicated throgh vaccinations.s a deadly virs III '" smallpox -a o:l Q. S 0 52 i o:l 7. The Monster, at the first motion, lnged forward with a terrible scream. ::E III in less than ten mintes >, had flooded the entire street the broken water main..c:: Q. 0 U Ray Bradbry, "A Sond of Thnder" Revising with Style 21

14 SpliHing Sbiect and Verb II Dring the revision process, yo may wish to create sentence variety by splitting the sbject and verb with a word or phrase. Doing so, however, shold not affect the sbject-verb agreement. If the sbject is singlar, se a singlar verb. If the sbject is plral, se a plral verb. Notice in the following examples that the sbject and verb, no matter how far apart they are, always agree. The constrction of a bridge, reqiring hndreds of people and millions of dollars, takes years of planning. Joseph B. Strass, a designer of nearly for hndred bridges, is known today for having bilt the Golden Gate Bridge. EXERCISE A For each sentence below, rewrite the nderlined verb so that it agrees with its sbject. If the verb is correct, write correct. Sample v_i_s_it Nearly nine million people, from all over the world, visits the Golden Gate Bridge each year. 1. The Golden Gate Bridge, linking San Francisco and Marin conties, were completed in The impressive look of this sspension bridge, bright orange in color and art deco in style, was the idea of conslting architects Irving and Gertrde Morrow. 3. The bright orange, despite the U.S. Navy's preference for black with yellow stripes, were meant to blend with the natral setting. 4. Workers, fighting erosion from the salty air, repaints the bridge almost continosly. 5. Their effort, thogh nnoticed by most passersby, keep the steel portion of the bridge from rsting away. EXERCISE B For each nmbered item below, combine the sentences so that a phrase splits the sbject and verb of the combined sentence. Make sre that the sbject and verb agree. 1. The bridge's two main towers rise 746 feet above water. The towers are made of strctral steel. Revising with Style. 23

15 Varying Sentence Closers Yo can improve the pacing of yor writing, add variety, and heighten the reader's interest by varying yor sentence closers. Below are a few common ways to end a sentence. End a sentence with adiectives or adverbs. In the driveway was or new car, clean and sporty red. (adjectives) The baby began to take its first steps, slowly, nsteadily. (adverbs) End a sentence with a prepositional phrase. Reynaldo was in no shape to get p, not with his aches and fever. End a sentence with an appositive or appositive phrase. The crowd was awed by her performance, a real show-stopper. End a sentence with an absolte phrase. The lion basked in the African sn, its tail swishing back and forth. End a sentence with a participle or participial phrase. The children ran alongside the train, cheering. (present participle) We laghed at or faces, plled and stretched impossibly in the fn-hose mirror. (past participial phrase) EXERCISE A Each item below begins with a sentence model taken from literatre. Combine the sentences that follow into a single sentence that matches the strctre of the literatre model. Yo may omit or add words or change word forms as necessary. Sample Revision He stood p against the wall of the drgstore, smoking. Ellen sat in the doctor's office. She was fidgeting. Ellen sat in the doctor's office, fidgeting. James Thrber, lithe Secret Life of Walter Mitty" 1. She then gave me the pillow, my mother's pillow. Edwidge Dandicat, "Nineteen Thirty-Seven" We drove over a hndred miles to the cabin. The cabin was or home for the smmer. 2. Salzman listened in embarrassed srprise, sensing a sort of apology. Bernard Malamd, "The Magic Barrel" My ncle laghed at his own jokes. He was rining the pnch lines. Revising with Style 25

16 4. She examined each egg. She was checking for cracks. 5 Hge cranes moved all abot the constrction site. They were haling girders and stacks of bricks. 6. I can't stop thinking abot that movie. It was romantic yet hilarios. 7. The waiter hrried to or table. Or pizza was held high above his head. 8. The stream winds for miles throgh the woods. It ends sddenly in a two-hndred-foot waterfall. Revising with Style 27

17 3. After that their manner changed a little toward me, althogh I was their friend against otsiders. Ernest Hemingway, "In Another Contry" even thogh the nmber of hors spent srfing the Web has also risen the nmber of books sold each year has risen since She wore her coarse, straight hair, which was slightly streaked with gray, in a long braided rope across the top of her head. Maya Angelo, "living Well. Living Good." which is spoken in both Portgal and Brazil Fernando speaks Portgese with the distinctive accent of a Brazilian 5. Nevertheless, as I made the raft, the tears ran ot of my eyes. yo shold wear spportive shoes when yo jog needless to say Stephen Vincent Benet, "By the Waters of Baby,lon".5 "" \l) '2 /!!I 0.. S 0 6. Once a boy, whose name was Richard, drowned in the river. James Baldwin, ''The Rockpile" which se atomated photo technology new traffic control systems :: may help to discorage drivers from rnning red lights i /!!I U \l)..c::.5'.e b.o. 0 Revising with Style 29

18 4. Sad were the lights in the hoses opposite. Katherine Mansfield, "A Cp of Tea" The children in the yard next door are happy. 5. Directly opposite him, on the other side of the enclosed space, were two doors, exactly alike and side by side. Frank R. Stockton, "the lady, or the Tiger?" The opera stars stood onstage, in front of the crtain, smiling and bowing deeply before the crowd. 6. When he telephoned her brother Donnie, was he hoping for her to answer? Anne Tyler, "With All Flags Flying" She was expecting him to lagh when she made fn of him..5 "" Q) '2 c.. S 0 7. In the front yard was a hge oak tree that Lis remembered having climbed dring the fneral to get away from people. Jdith Ortiz Cofer, "Catch the Moon" A small bronze state that Maria recalled having stdied one evening to inspire her own art was at the city park. i i 5 /Il 8. Also lrking arond Pis's npretentios md ht were newspaper reporters. :s Barbara Kimenye, "the Winner" Q) ;E. c.. 0 U The new pppy was not yet settling into or comfortable little hose. 9. Isn't that the fnniest thing yo have ever heard? v. S. Naipal, "B. Wordsworth" This isn't the best peach she has ever tasted. Revising with Style 31

19 Inverting Sentence Order II When yo revise yor writing, it's important that yo check to be sre that yor sbjects and verbs agree. This can be tricky when the word order is inverted and the sbject follows the verb. Be carefl that yo don't mistake another word for the sbject. For example, if yo identify the object of a preposition or the sbject of a sbordinate clase as the sbject, yo may se a verb that does not agree in nmber with the tre sbject. Stdy the following example. Throgh the winding streets rides Eric on his bike. The sbject of the sentence is Eric, not streets (the object of the preposition throgh). Therefore, the verb rides is singlar, agreeing in nmber with its sbject. EXERCISE For each sentence below, write in the space provided the correct form of the nderlined verb or helping verb. If the verb is correct, write C. Sample is Excited and relieved are Jenny when she moves into her first apartment s. v.5 6. '" Q,.I <!l 0 S 0 8. <!l l? 9. Q,.I r- 1:> U In her hands are the key to her own front door. Over there her comfortable chair and her fireplace. Throghot the rooms wafts the delicios odor of apple pie. Very different from her family home the srrondings of her own place. What her sisters and brothers doing right now? Mch as she loves them, sch noise does they create! So relaxed Jenny that it takes her several days to remember that she hasn't paid her rent yet. Where her rent check and stamps? Under the newspapers and magazines lrk the rent check. Only after searching for hors do she find it. Revising with Style 33

20 3. A play shold be exciting, entertaining, and a meaningfl experience for the adience. 4. Reading a script is easy, bt to make a script into a prodction is challenging. 5. Even a play with only one act and having two characters reqires mch cooperative effort. 6. A director's work consists of analyzing the play, the casting of the roles, work with technicians, and spervision of the entire prodction. 7. Actors mst nderstand their roles, determine their characters' feelings and motivations, and mst decide how to move and speak. os '" Q.I 'a <'IS I:l. S o :2 <'IS :[ 8 8. Besides actors, the artists involved with a play inclde a scenic designer, lighting designer, and a costme designer. 9. The lighting designer arranges mlticolored lights to illminate a scene and'spporting its mood. 10. When varios prodctions of the same play are compared, one may notice vast differences in lighting, scenery, and in sond effects. Revising with Style 35

21 4. Good actors take care both in speaking their lines well and in their se of even the smallest gestres. s. A makep artist can change an actor's appearance throgh the application of color and shadows or by sing devices sch as beards, scars, and wigs. 6. Understanding emotions and portraying them effectively are critical to actors. 7. A costme designer researches the time period in which the drama is set, designs costmes for the actors that are tre to the period, and then the designr is spervising the manfactre of the clothing. 8. The designer's work mst both ret1ect and it mst be spportive of the action, time period, mood, and theme of the play. 5: 9. Drama critics shold be people who are familiar with many types of plays and having a well developed artistic taste. t.) <11!5 >.0 fo 10. Drama critics mst be forming their own opinions abot a play bt also be mindfl of the. message that the director, cast, and designers are trying to convey. Revising with Style 37

22 2. a. People living many millennia ago carved objects. b. Those people painted images. c. Those people bilt shelters. [, and] 3. a. Some animals in cave art have horns. b. The horns are exaggerated. c. The horns are grotesqe. [-Iy] 4. a. To stdy prehistoric cltres, anthropologists se several cles. b. They se art. c. They se fossils. d. They se pollens. 5. a. Prehistoric cave paintings were discovered at Lascax, France. b. These prehistoric cave paintings are the best-known ones. c. They were discovered more than fifty years ago. 6. a. Other cave paintings have been fond. b. There are some at Altamira, Spain. c. There are some at Vallon-Pont-d'Arc, France. d. There are some at Peche-Merle, France. 7. a. The artists often worked far at the back of cave chambers. b. The cave chambers were tiny. c. The cave chambers were dimly lit. Revising with Style 39

23 Combining Sentences II E When revising yor writing, look for ways to vary the length and strctre of yor sentences. One effective way to do this is to combine sentences that are repetitive or simplistic. Yo can combine sch sentences by deleting repeated words, adding connecting words, or changing the form of words. Stdy the techniqes below. Use a coordinating conjnction (and, bt, for, or, nor, so, or yet) to combine clases. a. Gargoyles can be gly creatres. b. Few people are frightened by them. [, bt] Gargoyles can be gly creatres, bt Few people are Frightened by them. Add correlative conjnctions (either... orj not only... bt alsoj both... and). a. It's becase they're made ot of stone. b. It's becase they're so gly they're cte. [either... od It's either becase they're made ot of stone or becase they're so gly they're cte. Link main clases with conjnctive adverbs (sch as also, however, moreover, nevertheless, still, therefore). Use a semicolon before a conjnctive adverb that joins two sentences and se a comma after it. a. Gargoyles are architectral ornaments. b. They're fnctional. [moreover] Gargoyles are architectral ornaments; moreover, they're Fnctional. Use possessive nons or pronons. a. We looked at a book abot gargoyles. b. The book belongs to Maria. ['s] We looked at Maria's book abot gargoyles. EXERCISE Combine each sentence pair into a single sentence. Where indicated, se the bracketed words, word parts, and pnctation marks in yor combined sentences. Sample Revision a. Gargoyles are ornate spots. b. They project from the cornices of a bilding. [, and] Gargoyles are ornate spots, and they project from the cornices of a bilding. 1. a. Gargoyles fnnel rainwater away from the bilding. b. They watch over passersby. [not only... bt also] 2. a. This gargoyle is carved to look like a head. b. The head resembles that of a lion. ['s] Revising with Style 41

24 Combining Sentences III When writing to inform, keep in mind that not every piece of information reqires its own sentence. To say more in a shorter space, take a phrase from one sentence and add it to another. A phrase is a grop of related words that does not have a sbject and a predicate and that fnctions in a sentence as a single part of speech. See below for ways to combine sentences by sing varios kinds of phrases as either adjectives or adverbs. Use prepositional phrases as adjectives. a. The Renaissance was an era. b. It was an era of great artistic and intellectal activity. The Renaissance was an era ofgreat artistic and intellectal activity. Use prticipial phrases as adjectives. a. The Renaissance saw discoveries, commercial growth, and a retrn among scholars to classical ideas and vales. b. The Renaissance began in the forteenth centry. [ ing] Beginning in the forteenth centry, the Renaissance saw discoveries, commercial growth, and a retrn among scholars to classical ideas and vales. Use infinitive phrases as adjectives. a. Many thinkers of the day revered an artist's strggle. b. An artist's strggle was abot creating. [to] Many thinkers of the day revered an artist's strggle to create. Use prepositional phrases as adverbs. a. Some of the best painters in history lived and worked in Italy. b. They lived there dring the fifteenth and sixteenth centries. Some of the best painters in history lived and worked in Italy dring the fifteenth and sixteenth centries. Use infinitive phrases as adverbs. a. Emperors and popes wold commission these artists. b. The commissions were for adorning palaces, chrches, and tombs with their work. [to] Emperors and popes wold commission these artists to adorn palaces, chrches, and tombs with their work. EXERCISE Combine each clster of sentences so that the new information (nderlined) is embedded as an adjective or adverb phrase in sentence a. Where indicated, se the bracketed words and word parts in yor combined sentences. Add commas where necessary. Sample Revision a. Leonardo da Vinci is known throghot the world. b. He is known for his painting. Leonardo da Vinci is known tf;jroghot the world for his painting. Revising with Style 43

25 8. a. Leonardo sed a painting techniqe. b. The techniqe was of contrasting light and shadow. c. The techniqe is called chiaroscro. 9. a. He also covered his paintings with tinted varnish. b. He covered his paintings with varnish tngive them a hazy look. c. The hazy look is known as sfmato. 10. a. Leonardo prsed stdies in many other fields. b. The fields inclded mathematics, botany, and architectre. [-ing] c. He prsed his stdies ntil his death in Revising with Style 45

26 Date 2. a. Her dreams were filled with fancifl creatres, intricate flowers, and mysterios faces. b. She called her dreanls "day visions." [, which...,] 3. a. Minnie's grandmother told her stories abot their ancestors in Africa. b. Minnie called her grandmother Mama Mary. [, whom...,] c. These stories inspired her childhood drawings. [that] 4. a. Something persaded her to stop drawing. [What] b. It was the ridicle of her friends and the scorn of her teachers. s. a. Minnie did not draw again for many years. b. Dring those years, she married, raised three sons, and worked as a hosekeeper. [which] 6. a. She was forty-three years old. [When...,] b. She coldn't ignore the vivid pictres in her head anymore. 7. a. She began to hang her paintings on the wall of the gatehose at Airlie Gardens. b. There she was working as a collector of admission fees. [, where] C!l <li J b() 8. a. Minnie died at the age of ninety-five. [Before...,] b. She had become a well-known and respected folk artist. c. She never lost of her dreams. [who]. Revising with Style 47

27 2. I go backpacking in remote places. Rebecca goes snbathing where there are lots of people. (contrast) 3. I like to go backpacking. It's inexpensive. (case and effect) 4. I like backpacking becase it's affordable. It's fn. (comparison) 5. I hiked along the crest of the Appalachian Montains. I cold see miles of forest. (location) 6. I came back from all that hiking. I was in the best shape of my life. (time) 7. Improving my physical condition was only a minor benefit. I felt r d accomplished something. (importance) (JJ "" '0 0.. S o :E 13 (JJ!5 S ' 0.. o U 8. I was working p a sweat hiking. Rebecca was lying on a beach all day. (contrast) 9. She works as a personal trainer. She wants to take it easy for her vacation. (case and effect) 10. Rebecca is on her feet all day at work. I sit at a desk. (contrast) Revising with Style 49

28 _ Paragraph 2 While the sgar mixtre is cooling, pree 5 ponds of melon, seeded and ct into I-inch cbes, and pt the pree in a large bowl. Finally, freeze the whisked mixtre in the bowl and scoop ot to serve. To make melon ice, first combine 3/4 cp of water and 1 cp of sgar in a medim sacepan and cook over high heat ntil the mixtre boils. Next, por the cooled sgar mixtre into the melon pree, add 2 tablespoons of lime jice, and whisk thoroghly. Redce the heat by half and stir ntil the sgar dissolves. When the sgar is entirely dissolved, remove the sacepan from the heat. os Revising with Style 51

29 Paragraph 2 Once in yor blood or lymph system, the antioxidants render harmfl free radicals in yor body harmless. To ward off age and disease, eat foods igh in antioxidants, sch as broccoli and carrots. Moreover, becase the cells are fnctioning properly, yor body won't degenerate as qickly and yo jst might live longer. By eating these foods, yo allow the antioxidants to enter yor bloodstream or lymph system throgh yor intestines. Since a smaller nmber of free radicals is left to attack yor body's cells; the cells can contine to fnction properly. Revising with Style 53

30 Paragraph 2 From the parked car, we cold see that the hose got plenty of shade from two trees, bt not so mch as to make the hose seem dreary. In the real estate agent's car on the way to the hose for sale, I cold see that my parents were nervos with excitement. The agent fit the key in the lock, flng open the door, and waved s inside. While we stood on the front porch, the agent fmbled for the keys and explained that the hose had jst gone on the market. We plled p to the crb directly in front of the hose and sat there for a minte, staring at it. As we walked from the car p the stone-paved path to the front entrance, I cold hear my parents say to each other, lido yo like it? Do yo like it?".s Revising with Style 55

31 Narne EXERCISE Use the information below to write a paragraph that compares and contrasts New York City with Los Angeles. Organize yor paragraph by sbject or by featre and be sre to inclde transition words and phrases to make yor comparison and contrast clear. At the top of yor paragraph, write by sbject or by featre to indicate how yo organized the information. Los Angeles covers 464 sqare miles. New York City, with a poplation of over seven million people, is the most poplos city in the United States. New York City is cltrally and ethnically diverse. New York City is one of the world's most important financial centers and is said to be the capital of pblishing, fashion, and art in the United States. Los Angeles has a semitropical climate. In New York City, people sally walk, taxi, or take pblic transportation' from place to place. The poplation of Los Angeles is made p of people from all over the world. In New York City, there are for distinct seasons. With a poplation of over three and a half million people, Los Angeles is the second largest city in the contry. New York City covers 304 sqare miles. The vast majority of Los Angeles residents se private cars for transportation. Los Angeles is an important financial center and is the movie capital of the United States..5 Revising with Style 57

32 EXERCISE B Revise the following passage for better nity and focs by dividing it into paragraphs. Insert a paragraph symbol (1) wherever a new paragraph shold begin. Teens recognize that the Internet has some problems. One of the biggest is the digital divide-the gap between people who have access to the Web and those who do not. At the moment, fewer than half of all teens have access from home. Many teens are optimistic abot this isse, thogh. They point ot that compters are becoming less expensive and many Internet service providers are free. These teens hope that one day soon, everyone will have access to the Internet, no matter what their income. The Internet has other problems. Some teens say they are worried abot compter frad and criminal hacking. Others are concerned abot the possibility of Internet addiction. In one srvey, twenty-eight percent of teen respondents said they spend more than twenty hors per week online (compared with sixteen percent of adlt respondents). Still other teens fear that people will stop interacting in person. "The advances of the compter have already begn to create a more impersonal society," says fifteen-year-old Amanda Cannata. However, for most teens, the attitde seems to be fll speed ahead. "Teens are most open to the possibilities of the Web," concldes athor Mimi Mandel. "It's second natre to them, like television is to my generation." Revising with Style 59

33 Date 2. Are power rackets good for tennis? The weekend player has certainly benefited from them. Their large "sweet spot" can compensate for poor vision, awkward footwork, and lapses in concentration. Mark Mathabane, "A Plage on Tennis" 3. Fashions in names seem as arbitrary as fashions in carpet. One day everyone wants orange shag, then sddenly it's green berber. Janet Simons, lithe Name Reign: New Parents Balance the Trendy and Uniqe" 4. Yet to nderstand jst how different this place is, one has to see a "normal" coffee shop, sch as the one in the modernistic bilding of concrete and glass that we visited the same day_ Inside neon lights flicker, casting a ghostly light on the alminm tables and chairs covered with plastic. Siavenka Draklic, "Pizza in Warsaw, Torte in Prage" s. Eager to conter the many charges of vacosness and pffery that have plaged it, MTV has also v aired pblic service programs abot political social, and environmental isses, even winning a.s prestigios Peabody Award for its two-hor retrospective on the '80s, "Decade." '" Q) '2 e 0 <II 0.. :E <II V. Q)..::: r :E.::9 0 U George Varga, "Is It MTV, or Is It 'EmptyN'?" Revising with Style 61

34 2. Stdents who wish to go to the prom only to dance shold not be forced to by tickets to the dinner beforehand. They want to dance, not eat. 3. The school year has become too long; or principal shold shorten it. 4. If a desired corse is not offered at or school, qalified stdents shold be allowed to take it at a local comnlnity college instead. The stdents are qalified, aren't they?..5 v> 'c OJ '" 0.. e 0 ie '" 5. Parents and teachers are debating whether to open the school library dring after-school hors. 5 Thogh keeping it open will srely cost money, it's worth the expense. The library will be open longer, and that's a 'good thing. OJ.!:: 8 Revising with Style 63

35 3. Which of the following statements wold most likely describe a story in which yor voice as a writer emerges? A. It is a story yo feel yo n1st tell. B. It is a poplar kind of story-one that people almost always enjoy. C. It is a story that resembles the work of yor favorite writer. 4. Imagine giving a piece of writing to a good friend to read. Which of the following responses wold best indicate that the work reflects yor voice? A. "I nderstand this completely and agree with every word." B. "This is amazingly good; I had no idea yo cold write so well. 11 c. "If I hadn't already known, I wold have gessed yo had written this." s. In which of the following circmstances wold someone's writing most likely reflect his or her voice? A. taking a test B. writing a diary entry C. writing a set of-instrctions EXERCISE B Rewrite each passage below in yor own voice. Change sentence strctres and add, replace, or take away words and pnctation as necessary. Contine yor answers on yor own paper if yo need more space to write. Sample Revision The first Latin Grammy Awards presentation was on April 13, The awards are open to international competition and reflect the growth of the Latin msic market. Any msician who records in Spanish or Portgese is eligible for nomination. Finally, on April 13, 2000, recognition of the growing importance of Latin msic came in the form ofthe first-ever Latin Grammy Awards presentation. Proving that Latin msic is an international, mlticltral phenomenon, competition for the award is open to any artist in the world who records in Spanish or Portgese. Latin msic's time has come. 1. In 1998 Mark McGwire, first baseman for the St. Lois Cardinals, srpassed the Single-year home rn record set by Roger Maris of the New York Yankees in McGwire hit seventy home rns. Maris hit Sixty-one. 2. An increase in the minimm wage cold benefit the edcation of teenagers who work after school. If Congress were to pass legislation increasing teenagers' wages, teenagers cold redce the nmber of hors they work and increase the time they spend on stdy or extracrriclar activities. Revising with Style 65

36 EXERCISE B Rewrite each sentence, Si,ng the figre of speech indicated in parentheses to make the sentence more interesting and engaging. Omit or change words, phrases, and pnctation as necessary. Sample Revision The sond of her laghter rings ot. (se simile) Her laghter rings ot like the tiny bells on a charm bracelet. 1. The airplane spiraled overhead. (se simile) 2. White sheets billowed on the clothesline. (se simile) 3. The water of the lake was very clear. (se simile) 4. The immigrants were sworn in as citizens; the State of Liberty was nearby. (personify the State of Liberty) s. The road bends and crves throgh the forest. (personify the road) s= 6. Playing the gitar takes me to other cltres. (se metaphor) o "" ;:; Q) :, 7. The skateboarders twirled in midair. (se simile) 8 8. A mltitde of ants came into or kitchen. (personify the ants) Revising with Style 67

37 EXERCISE B Rewrite each sentence to make it either hyperbolic or nderstated (yor choice). Change words, phrases, or pnctation as needed. Sample Revision The gardens at Winterthr are beatifl. The gardens at Winterthr are the most beatifl things I've ever seen. or The gardens at Winterthr are pleasant enogh. 1. I enjoy playing basketball. 2. Dave's sand castle was big. 3. Dennis was thrilled when the Steelers wonthe Sper Bowl. 4. The Marqez family seems to have a lot of money. s. Jessica isn't getting enogh sleep; she fell asleep at the lnch table today. 6. When Amy wore her alligator shoes, she attracted attention For me, cleaning hose is an npleasant activity. x 8. Video games can be time-consming. (I:S (3 ::E 9. People who talk on the phone while they drive do not pay enogh attention to the road. t.ii E5 10. Mark was very disappointed abot getting a D on the test.. o U 11. Lilacs smell sweet. 12. Books are stacked for feet high arond the perimeter of Stephen's room. Revising with Style 69

38 Date 5. The stricter the parents, the more troble their children get into. For example, I once knew some obsessively strict parents whose child wond p stealing cars. 6. The mayor believed that lining the city streets with artwork wold bolster torism, and he was right. Ever since the artwork was pt in place, I've seen more people who look like torists walking arond. 1. If or school had more stdents, we'd have a better softball team. Lawndale High has more stdents, and its tennis, soccer, and swim teams all went to state championships this year. 8. I'd love to go camping with yo at Gray Lake, bt I'll get bitten all over by mosqitoes if I go. A friend of mine went there a month ago, and he sffered terribly from mosqito bites. 9. My history teacher sholdn't tortre or class with so mch bsy work. Last week, he assigned a ton of reading, and hardly any of the material appeared on this week's qiz. 10. Yo want to do volnteer work in Central America before going to college? Yo mst be a vegetarian, then. All volnteer workers are vegetarians. Revising with Style 71

39 EXERCISE B Rewrite each sentence, repacing cliches with original phrases and sexist langage with nonsexist langage. Not all sentences have both cliches and sexist langage. Sample Revision Each actor was as cool as a ccmber when he spoke his lines. The actors exded confidence when they spoke their lines. 1. Every engineer at the conference broght his visal aids. 2. Firemen risk their lives every day ptting ot fires. 3. On or flight to San Francisco, the stewardesses were very helpfl. 4. My cosin Chris is as strong as a horse. 5. Every athlete at the Olympics represents his contry with pride. 6. A registered nrse makes se of her training with every patient she sees. 7. Abel passed his driving exam with flying colors. 8. The waitress apologized for mixing p or orders. 9. A research scientist chooses his career path based on his interests. 10. When Jamal bmped his head on that pipe, he saw stars. Revising with Style 73

40 Proofreading II Use an apostrophe to indicate the possessive form of nons and pronons, the plral form of letters and figres, and the omission of letters and figres. Never se it to make a word plral When yo proofread yor writing, make sre that yo've followed the rles for apostrophes listed below. Use an apostrophe and -s to form the possessive of a singlar non (even one that ends in -s). the book's cover the glass's fingerprints Dorothy Sayers's novels Use an apostrophe alone to form the possessive of a plral non that ends in -so Make sre the apostrophe follows the -so the Smiths' hose the classes' tests the detectives' cases Use an apostrophe and -s to form the possessive of a plral non that does not end in -so children's books women's clothing the deer's trail Use an apostrophe and -s to form the possessive of a singlar indefinite pronon. one's book everybody's alibi Pt only the last word of a compond non in the possessive form. my sister-in-law's library card the srgeon general's warning If two or more people possess something jointly, se the possessive form only for the last person named. If two or more people possess something individally, pt each one's name in the possessive form. Don and Barbara's party Don's and Barbara's schedles Use an apostrophe and -s to form the plral of letters, nmerals, symbols, and words sed to represent themselves. (Underline or italicize except for -'s.) all A's for too many the's Use an apostrophe in place of letters omitted in contractions. (A contraction is a word made p of two words that have been combined by omission of one or more letters.) I + am = I'm yo + are =yo're Dave + is = Dave's Use an apostrophe in place of the omitted nmerals of a specific year. the earthqake of '92 the World Series of '68 the smmer of '01 EXERCISE A Use the proofreading symbol (v) to add apostrophes where needed. Use the delete symbol (.9"') to cross ot apostrophes sed incorrectly. If the sentence is correct, write C in the space provided.' Sample.j Some mystery novels plot s are predictable. 1. Many people consider Edgar Allan Poes short story "The Mrder's in the Re Morge," pblished in 1841, the first detective story. 2. His detective; Agste Dpin, sed clear thinking to figre ot who committed the mrders. Revising with Style 75

41 Proofreading III Commas clarify meaning. When proofreading yor work, be sre that yo follow the rles below. Use serial commas to separate three or more words, phrases, or clases in a sentence, except when all the items are connected by conjnctions. Good fiction manages to entertain, to inform, and to move readers. Science fiction and mystery and romance are all genres of fiction. Use commas to set off nonessential elements (participial phrases, infinitive phrases, adjective clases, and appositives that are not essential to the sentence's meaning). The storyteller, having finished, waited for her adience to applad. (nonessential participial phrase) The storyteller wearing the red dress was the scariest. (essential participial phrase) Use commas to set off interjections (sch as oh and well), parenthetical expressions (sch as in fact and on the other hand), and conjnctive adverbs (sch as however and conseqently). Well, I didn't know that yo had pblished a storyl Use a comnla after a long or potentially confsing introdctory prepositional phrase. In awarding prizes for literatre, jdges often look for athors with distinctive writing styles. (long prepositional phrase) After the voting, reslts are secret ntil they are annonced. (confsing prepositional phrase) Use a comma after an introdctory participle or participial phrase. Feeling faint from excitement, he sat down qickly. Use commas to set off introdctory adverb clases and internal adverb clases that interrpt the sentence's flow. Becase he had spent years writing his book, the athor needed the prize money. The athor, becase he had spent years writing his book, needed the prize money. EXERCISE A Use the proofreading symbol ( ") to add commas as needed in the sentences below. Use the delete symbol (J-') to cross ot commas sed incorrectly. Sample FortnatelI had my raincoat with me. 1. More often than ideals economics fel revoltions. 2. In France for example extreme poverty reslted in the French Revoltion a conflict between o U economic and social classes. 3. As for the American Revoltion it stemmed partly from taxation withot representation. 4. Early in the conflict angry colonists disgised as Native Americans and wielding hatchets boarded British ships and tossed their cargo of tea into Boston Harbor. S. Many colonists, who owned or cold obtain a weapon, helped fight the British. Revising with Style 77

42 Proofreading IV There are a nmber of rles pertaining to the se of commas in writing. When proofreading, be sre that yo follow the rles in the list below. Use a comma between the main clases and before the coordinating conjnction in a compond sentence. Agatha Christie was a commercially sccessfl writer, and she was often praised by critics. Place a comma between coordinate adjectives that precede a non. (To tst whether the adjectives are coordinate, try reversing their order or ptting and between them. If the sentence sonds nnatral, the adjectives are not coordinate and commas sholdn't be sed. Generally, adjectives that describe shape, age, and material do not need to be separated by commas.) An interesting, thoght-provoking, toching book is The Giver by lois lowry. A big old bloodhond howled at the moon. (not coordinate adjectives) Use commas to set off titles when they follow a person's name; the varios parts of an address, a geographical term, or a complete date; and the parts of a reference that cite the exact sorce. lcy Patel, M.D. (bt Dr. lcy Patel) My cosin lives at 1275 Sloan Avene, latrobe, PA The bookstore in Oakmont, Iowa, opened on Satrday, May 27, (bt The bookstore opened in May 2000; the exact date was May 27.) John Milton mentions the snake in Paradise Lost, book 9, line 643. Use commas to set off words or names sed when yo address someone directly. Have yo read any books by Jean Fritz, Marty? Yes, my friend, I read her memoir. Use a comma to set off a tag qestion, which implies an answer to the qestion preceding it. Yo like memoirs, don't yo? Use a comma after the saltation of an informal letter and after the closing of all letters. Dear Nikko, Dear Uncle Fred, Dear Grandma, Sincerely, Cordially, Yors trly, EXERCISE A Use the proofreading symbol ( l') to add commas as needed in the sentences below. Sample Yo're doing welaren't yo? 1. The school library has a wide selection of books by modern American athors doesn't it? 2. The neighborhood library moved to its new site on September Lorraine have yo ever visited the city's central library? Revising with Style 79

43 Proofreading 'v When proofreading yor writing, check to see that every sentence ends with an appropriate pnctation mark. There are three pnctation marks yo can se at the end of a sentence: a period, an exclamation point, or a qestion mark. Use a period to end a declarative sentence and a polite command. I like to read books and magazines abot the sciences. (declarative sentence) Please hand me that magazine. (polite command) Use an exclamation point to show strong feeling or indicate a forcefl command. Oh, how I'd like to ride the space shttle someday! (exclamation) Stop that! (strong command) Use a qestion mark to indicate a direct qestion. Are yo interested in astronomy? Don't se a qestion mark after a declarative sentence that contains an indirect qestion. Diane asked whether yo were interested in astronomy. EXERCISE Add a period, exclamation point, or qestion mark at the end of each sentence. Sample Revision There are many areas of science that interest me There are many areas of science that interest me. 1. Have yo heard of Rachel Carson 2. She has been called the mother of the environmental movement 3. This biologist was one of the first people to see that we were poisoning or environment 4. The warnings in her book Silent Spring are so frightening S. Don't yo agree that physics is another interesting scientific field 6. Researchers in this field stdy the behavior of galaxies as well as particles smaller than atoms 7. Who doesn't have a desire to nderstan the way the niverse works 8. In his book The Elegant Universe, physicist Brian Greene asks qestions abot how the niverse began and whether time travel is possible 9. Nerology is the stdy of the nervos system, inclding the brain 10. Dr. Oliver Sacks wrote a book abot his patients with nerological disorders 11. One patient actally mistook his wife for a hat 12. Loren Eisley was an anthropologist; he stdied hman beings and their cltres 13. He wrote sch wonderfl essays 14. Have yo read any of Stephen Jay Gold's books IS. He writes abot everything from the physics of baseball to ancient fossils Revising with Style 81

44 Lesson 3 Correcting Commonly Missed Terms I 1. passed; past 6. all ready; already 2. proceeded; preceded 7. a; an 3. correct 8; among; between 4. cold of; cold have 9. except; accept S. than; then 10. correct Lesson 4 Correcting Commonly Missed Terms II 1. correct 2. farther; frther 3. amont; nmber 4. different than; different from S. sets; sits 6. loose; lose 7. rise; raise 8. irregardlessj regardless 9. May; Can 10. let; leave Lesson 5 Using Pronons Correctly Possible answers are provided. 1. they 2. they 3. he or she 4. they S. they Lesson 6 Using Only Stdents shold indicate with an arrow the correct position ofonly. Corrected sentences follow. 1. Some people think that having the right name is the only path to sccess. 2. There was a time when only movie stars and con artists changed their names. 3. The model Norma Jean Baker, for example, changed her name to Marilyn Monroe only a short while after signing her first contract with a film stdio. 4. Only a few people know that John Wayne was the stage name of Marion Morrison. S. John Wayne was not the actor's only stage name; he appeared in his first few films as Dke Morrison. 6. Mathilda isn't the only name that means "brave." 7. Only Graham, however, means "from the gray hose." 8. In most states, only an application and a birth certificate are needed to change one's name legally. Revising with Style Lesson 7 Correcting Doble Negatives Answers will vary. Sample answers follow. 1. I know people that can hardly stand the idea of dining on bgs. 2. There isn't anything wrong with eating bgs. 3. In some Latin American contries, people have no objection to eating the eggs of aqatic insects. 4. It coldn't be any simpler than placing mats nderwater for the insects to lay their eggs on. S. Once the eggs are laid, gatherers don't wait to dry the insects' eggs before making the eggs into cakes. 6. In some African contries, the larvae of honeybees are no less poplar than their honey. 7. If yo're in the tropics, yo sholdn't get too fond of any dragonflies; they may be grond into a paste and served to yo. 8. correct 9. Somebody had once tried a chocolate-covered grasshopper and had barely noticed the grasshopper. '10. Don't say anything against bg dishes ntil yo've tried them. Lesson 8 Using Active and Passive Voice Answers will vary. Sample answers follow. 1. All of s experience five senses-sight, hearing, smell, taste, and toch. 2. correct 3. Some of them hear shapes. 4. Others taste colors. S. Different people perceive this qirk of the brain differently. 6. correct 7. Synesthesia, a combination of the Greek words syn (together) and aisthesis (sensation), means "sensing together." 8. In people with synesthesia, one sense triggers another. 9. Many creativeyeople have lived with synesthesia. 10. Writer Vladimir Nabokov saw the letters of the alphabet in colors. 11. He perceived the letter k, for example, as hckleberry ble: 12. The composer Aleksandr Scriabin associated colors with msical tones. 13. He heard an A-major chord as green. 14. One person perceived flavors as shapes. IS. This person once described a bland chicken as not having "enogh points." 83

45 S. Hge cranes moved all abot the constrction site, haling girders and stacks of bricks. 6. I can't stop thinking abot that movie, romantic yet hilarios. 7. The waiter hrried to or table, or pizza held high above his head. 8. The stream winds for miles throgh the woods, ending sddenly in a two-hndred-foot waterfall. Lesson 13 Adding Clases 1. Jackie Robinson, who joined the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947, became the first African American to play major-leage baseball. 2. Ernest Hemingway, who was rejected for military service several times, entered World War I as an amblance driver for the Red Cross. 3. Since 1991 the nmber of books sold each year has risen, even thogh the nmber of hors spent srfing the Web has also risen. 4. Fernando speaks Portgese, which is spoken in both Portgal and Brazil, with the distinctive accent of a Brazilian. S. Needless to say, when yo jog, yo shold wear spportive shoes. 6. New traffic control systems, which se atomated photo technology, may help to discorage drivers from rnning red lights. Lesson 14 Inyerting Sentence Order I.5 1. Down came the streamers; down came the signs. 2. Only with an officially stamped ticket cold one get in. 3. At the edge of the clearing grew a tiny hosta plant. 4. Happy are the children in the yard next door. S. Onstage, in front of the crtain, stood the opera stars, smiling and bowing deeply before the crowd. 6. When she made fn of him, was she expecting him to lagh? 7. At the city park was a small bronze state that Maria recalled having stdied one evening to inspire her own art. 8. Not yet settling into or comfortable little hose was the new pppy. 9. Isn't this the best peach she has ever tasted? 10. Alongside her stood her two grandparents and her for-year-old brother. 11. On went the lights in every room of the hose. 12. Steep and slippery was the path to the base camp, where one cold find a cot and a warm meal. Revising with Style Lesson 15 Inverting Sentence Order 1/ 1. is 6. do 2. are 7. C 3. C 8. are 4. are 9. lrks S. are 10. does Lesson 16 Revising for Parallelism I Answers may vary. Sample answers follow. 1. There are many types of plays, inclding drama, tragedy, and comedy. 2. Plays may be presented in theaters, open-air spaces, empty stores, or school aditorims. 3. A play shold be an exciting, entertaining, and meaningfl experience for the adience. 4. Reading a script is easy, bt making a script into a prodctio is challenging. S. Even a play having only one act and two characters requires mch cooperative effort. 6. A director's work consists of analyzing the play, casting roles, working with technicians, and spervising the entire prodction. 7. Actors mst nderstand their roles, determine their characters' feelings and motivations, and decide how to move and speak. 8. Besides actors, the artists inclde a scenic designer, lighting designer, and costme designer. 9. The lighting designer arranges mlticolored lights to illminate a scene and spport its mood. 10. When varios prodctions of the same play are compared, one may notice vast differences in lighting, in scenery, and.in sond effects. Lesson 17 Revising for Parallelism II Answers may vary. Sample answers follow. 1. Adiences won't enjoy a play that is boring, long, or confsing. 2. A sccessfl director can not only recognize a good script bt also bring that script to life. 3. Actors are, of corse, critical to a play's effectiveness and sccess. 4. Good actors take care both in speaking their lines well and in sing even the smallest gestres. S. A makep artist can change an actor's appearance throgh the application of color and shadows or the se of devices sch as beards, scars, and wigs. 6. Correct 7. A costme designer researches the time period in which the drama is set, designs costmes for the actors that are tre to the period, and spervises the manfactre of the clothing. 85

46 6. When she was forty-three years old, she coldn't ignore the vivid pictres in her head anymore. 7. She began to hang her paintings on the wall of the gatehose at Airlie Gardens, where she worked as a collector of admission fees. 8. Before Minnie died at the age of ninety-five, she had become a well-known and respected folk artist who never lost sight of her dreams. Lesson 22 Using Transitions Answers will vary. Sample answers follow. 1. Rebecca and I cont down the days ntil or vacations jst as children cont down the days ntil smmer. 2. I go backpacking in remote places, bt Rebecca goes snbathing where there are lots of people. 3. I like to go backpacking becase it's inexpensive. 4. I like backpacking becase it's affordable. In addition, it's fn. S. I hiked along the crest of the Appalachian Montains. I cold see miles of forest below. 6. When I came back from all that hiking, I was in the best shape of my life. 7. Improving my physical condition was only a minor benefit. More important, I felt I'd accomplished something. 8. While I was working p a sweat hiking, Rebecca was lying on a beach all day. 9. Since she works as a personal trainer, she wants to take it easy for her vacation. 10. Rebecca is on her feet all day at work. I, on the other hand, sit at a desk. Lesson 23 Bilding Coherent Paragraphs I Paragraph 1 First, wash both the melon and the knife yo'll be ctting with. With a fork,'scrape the seeds from the strips and from the flesh left on the rinds. l Then ct the melon in half lengthwise and again in qarters..-l To de-seed a honeydew melon with a minimm of fss, follow these few simple steps. Along the seed line of each qarter, ct off a strip of melon flesh and separate the strip from the rest of the melon. Revising with Style Paragraph 2 While the sgar mixtre is cooling, pree 5 ponds of melon, seeded and ct into 1-inch cbes, and pt the pree in a large bowl. Finally, freeze the whisked mixtre in the bowl and scoop ot to serve..-l To make melon ice, first combine 3/4 cp of water and 1 cp of sgar in a medim sacepan and cook over high heat ntil the mixtre boils. Next, por the cooled sgar mixtre into the melon pree, add 2 tablespoons of lime jice, and whisk thoroghly. Redce the heat by half and stir ntil the sgar dissolves. l When the sgar is entirely dissolved, remove the sacepan from the heat. Lesson 24 Bilding Coherent Paragraphs II Paragraph 1 Becase having an npaired electron is nstable, a free radical either takes an electron from or gives an electron to a molecle in a nearby cell of the body. As a reslt of the deterioration, a person's body becomes aged and diseased. Free radicals, molecles that have one npaired electron, reglarly roam throgh a person's body. The cells deteriorate in trn from this disrption of their molecles. Paragraph 2 Once in yor blood or lymph system, the antioxidants render harmfl free radicals in yor body harmless..-l To ward off age and disease, eat foods high in antioxidants, sch as broccoli and carrots. Moreover, becase the cells are fnctioning properly, yor body won't degenerate as qickly and yo jst might live longer. By eating these foods, yo allow the antioxidants to enter yor bloodstream or lymph system throgh yor intestines. --±- Since a smaller nmber of free radicals is left to attack yor body's cells, the cells can contine to fnction properly. 87

47 nlikely to enjoy the dinner and cold dampen the high spirits of those who wold enjoy it. Or, as with the first grop of stdents, they may simply not bother to go. 3. The school year has become too long; or principal shold shorten it. There are two types of stdent who wold trly benefit from the change. The first is the one who goes, willingly or not, to smmer school. As things stand, that stdent has only two weeks to relax before the fall term begins and may be in danger of being too exhasted to do well in fall classes. The second is the one whose smmer extracrriclar activities-whether. msk camp, athletic camp, an internship, or tdy abroad-overlaps with the first week or so of the school year. Stdents of this type mst either miss a few days of class and fall behind or be prevented from developing talents they might never have realized they had. 4. If a desired corse is not offered at or school, qalified stdents shold be allowed to take it at a local commnity college instead. Ors is a good school, bt there are a few areas in which it is deficient. One area is math. Stdents who are ahead by a grade or more in math cannot contine to excel once they reach jnior or senior year. By taking classes at a local college, they'd not only deepen their knowledge in math bt also become familiar with college life. 5. Parents and teachers are debating whether to open the school library dring after-school hors. Thogh keeping it open will srely cost money, it's worth the expense. I can recall several papers I trned in that wold have been mch improved if I had been able to stay later at the school library. I tried sing my stdy period for research, bt a single period barely gave me enogh time to look p a book, locate it on the shelf, and find a place to work. In addition, stdents who lack their own private stdy space at horne or who have noisy siblings cold do their homework in the library before heading horne from school. Lesson 30 Finding Yor Voice Exercise A 1. B 2. A 3. A 4. C 5. B Exercise B Answers will vary. Sample answers follow. 1. The year 1998 was an exciting one for baseball. Mark McGwire, the Herclean first baseman for the St. Lois Cardinals, hit a whopping seventy horne rns in one season. Nobody had corne near the record for over thirty years ntil Mac jst smashed it by hitting nine more dingers than the Yankees' Roger Maris did. 2. If Congress is so concerned abot how well teenagers do in school, why doesn't it pass a law to raise the minimm wage? Those of s who work after school don't jst by the latest CDs or go to movies with what we earn. We also by books or save for college. More important, by getting paid more, we cold work fewer hors. The less time we work, the more time we'll have to stdy for exams or practice or msic or do whatever else will make s better, more edcated people. Lesson 31 Identifying Metaphors, Similes, and Personification Exercise A 1. simile 6. personification 2. metaphor 7. simile 3. personification 8. simile 4. simile 9. personification 5. metaphor 10. metaphor Exercise B Answers will vary. Sample answers follow. 1. The airplane spiraled overhead like a hngry vltre zeroing in on a meal. 2. White sheets billowed on the clothesline like sails on a clipper ship. 3. The water of the lke was as clear as a jst-cleaned window. 4. When the immigrants were sworn in as citizens, Lady Liberty watched the ceremony prodly. 5. The road silently snakes throgh the forest.. 6. Playing the gitar is my passport to other cltres. 7. The skateboarders twirled in midair like high-wire acrobats. 8. An army of ants invaded or kitchen. Revising with Style 89

48 E 4. Holmes's specialty was to solve every crime by detailed reasoning, and he always minded his p's and q's. 5. In the 1900s, Mary Roberts Rinehart's and G. K. Chesterton's writing careers began. 6. The '20s saw Agatha Christie's first novels, featring Hercle Poirot's slething, which coldn't have been more entertaining to readers. 7. Do yo prefer Raymond Chandler's jorneys down the mean streets of Los Angeles to Joyce Carol Oates's psychological stdies? S.C 9. Nevada Barr's career as a national park ranger wasn't wasted when she began a mystery series whose hero, Anna Pigeon, is a park ranger. 10. Especially poplar today are detectives who nderstand the inner workings of men's and women's minds. Ixerel.e. 1. Did yo hear Keisha say, III'm hosting a party at my ant's hose"? 2. Leonardo and Fidel's father owns an electronics repair shop. 3. Arthr's and Lisa's math classes are sing the same textbook. 4. Everyone's participation is needed to garantee the sccess of the school's drive for coats and shoes for the homeless. 5. We're constantly reminded of the old adage liyo can't jdge a book by its cover." 6. All the family enjoyed listening to Great Grandfather's stories abot the blizzard of 'SS-that's 1888, of corse. 7. The bsiness partners were aware that they needed a formal contract, not merely a "gentleman's agreement." S. The campers coldn't believe that they were lost in spite of following their leader's directions to the campsite and her advice to bring a compass. 9. The twins' smmer jobs in their brother-inlaw's store left them little time to enjoy water sports at their parents' cottage. 10. The stdents' objections to the school's niform policy doesn't give them the right to ignore it. Lesson 37 Proofreading III Ixerel.e A 1. More often than ideals, economics fel revoltions. 2. In France, for example, extreme poverty reslted in the French Revoltion, a conflict between economic and social classes. 3. As for the American Revoltion, it stemmed partly from taxation withot representation. 4. Early in the conflict, angry colonists, disgised as Native Americans and wielding hatchets, boarded British ships and tossed their cargo of tea into Boston Harbor. 5. Many colonists who owned or cold obtain a weapon helped fight the British. 6. The British troops, who were repted to be a fine fighting force, made easy targets for the mskets of the ragtag colonial militia. 7. While the colonists foght, their wives maintained their farms and bsinesses. S. Valley Forge, where Washington's troops wintered dring the American Revoltion, is located in Pennsylvania. 9. The early patriots had wisdom, corage, and determination. 10. Having sacrificed to make a better life in the New World, they wold not srrender to the demands of Great Britain. 11. After winning the Revoltionary War, the colonists faced the difficlt tasks of forming a new government and developing an nfamiliar contry. 12. The pioneers who settled the West strggled to bild homes, to cltivate the land, and to defend themselves against hostile forces. 13. When American farmers pshed westward, they cased resentment in those who owned ranches or herded cattle for a living. 14. The Mexican War, begn in 1846, was an attempt to settle a border dispte. 15. One of the battle sites was the Alamo, a venerable old Spanish mission. Ixerel.e. 1. Becase the weather was atypically cold, few people cold enjoy smmer sports, sch as swimming, boating, and picnicking. 2. On the Forth ofjly, however, everyone in or family had a marvelos time. 3. We made a festive picnic lnch, which we ate in the den. Revising with Style 91