The Glass Castle. The social comparison theory as discussed in Dr. Esposito s interpersonal

Transcription

1 Danielle Barney The Glass Castle The social comparison theory as discussed in Dr. Esposito s interpersonal communication class is defined as evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others (Esposito). In instances, we decide whether one is inferior or superior to the person being compared. Dr. Williams, writer of the online article on social comparison explains we are likely to participate in social comparison when we are uncertain about ourselves in a certain domain (Williams). Jeanette Walls, author of the novel The Glass Castle gives multiple examples of the social comparison theory. Walls book is inspirational in the way she communicates her story by basing it on her cultural influence called, life. Walls cultural background constantly communicates with the audience by clarifying that it was not necessarily a bad life she lived, it was simply her normal. I couldn t help but use the social comparison theory while viewing my own cultural influence on how I interpreted this book. While I grew up in a providing, loving, caring, and functional family, I could not help but shudder at some of the brutally honest instances I read in The Glass Castle. For instance, in the book Jeanette Walls explains how at three years old she burned herself very badly while making hot dogs (Walls, 9). It was hard for me to fathom that a mother and father would allow such a young child to participate in such an adult like activity. Not only that, also encouraging Walls to not give

2 up, and to try to make the hot dogs again. In Dr. Esposito s course under the family unit, we learned a term called secure most positive. This is when a caregiver responds in a positive way to a child (Esposito). This term is relevant because although I was appalled her parents continued to encourage her make hot dogs again, that is the positive response. Her parents did a positive thing by encouraging her to not give up on making hot dogs. The patterns of communication in the Walls family did not follow the linear view of communication in any way. The overall definition of the linear view of communication is seen as something a sender does to the receiver (Esposito). But when you look in detail it is far more complex than just that. The person creating the message puts their thoughts into symbols, which are usually words; this is called encoding (Esposito). After the sender encodes the message they want to deliver through the channel, the receiver, or person attending to the messages, decodes it while making sense of it (Esposito). The Walls family almost followed this mode of communication, but in my opinion failed at the decoding stage. From my perspective of the book, the children never really understood the meaning of majority of their parent s messages. There was so much noise going on throughout the lives of the Walls family that I cannot even imagine trying to understand the message their parents were trying to send to them. Referring back to social comparison theory, I attempt to compare my family and our pattern of communication to the Walls family. When my parents had a message they wanted me to grasp and understand, they made sure to do so in an environment with no or very little noise. Walls parents also twisted their words so they were being honest, while using metaphoric expressions to beat around the bush. For example, in The Glass

3 Castle Walls dad says, Years from now, when all the junk they got is broken and long forgotten, you ll still have your stars, (Walls, 41). Walls father used this statement so he could avoid the topic of not being able to afford Christmas presents. While my parents were very to the point and blunt, there was no alternative meaning in the message they wanted to tell me. Walls made many assertions throughout her novel and it made it hard for me to decide if I agreed or disagreed with her theories. In Dr. Esposito s interpersonal communication course, he discussed why we communicate. One of the terms in that particular section was called social needs. Social needs are pleasure, affection, companionship, escape, relaxation, and control (Esposito). Escape was the key word that drew my attention to this term. Throughout the entire novel Walls and her family were constantly on the go, most likely escaping from one of their many problems. Walls explained to her readers that her dad was fed up with civilization (Walls, 34). Because he was fed up with civilization, he continued to beat around the bush with his children by telling them that they were always on the go for a sense of adventure. The adventure was the route of escape for the Walls family. This was the main assertion that Walls made throughout The Looking Glass that I disagreed with. In fact, I noticed that Walls never really had a chance to escape anything that s happened to her, and that is why she wrote this novel. Walls simply could not escape her childhood. Charles M. Rossiter junior, author of the informative book titled Communicating Personally, writes about interpersonal communication and human relationships. Rossitler s chapter on self-disclosure was easily comparable to The Glass Castle. Selfdisclosure occurs when one person voluntarily tells other person things about

4 themselves which the other is unlikely to know or discover from other sources (Rossiter, 212). While Walls uses her novel as a form of escape from her childhood, she also clearly uses self-disclosure. Self-disclosure excludes confessions and also refrains from revealing behavior (Rossiter, 213). This is what makes Walls self-disclosure unique, she includes both confessions and reveals behaviors of her family. Rossiter explains that there are two forms of communication behavior when discussing self-disclosure, history and honesty (Rossiter, 212). Walls demonstrates honesty throughout The Glass Castle, although her novel is focused on her history. Honesty consists of descriptions of the speaker s experience which invite the listener to share and respond empathetically (Rossiter, 213). Another unique factor regarding Walls use of honesty, she was not looking for an empathetic response, really she just wanted to share her truth. In Dr. Esposito s course he defined functional communication as the basic communication that usually involves impersonal communication, it is imperative to a relationship (Esposito). Dr. Esposito continued to discuss nurturing communication, while emphasizing that empathy is they key (Esposito). This proves to be true while viewing Walls The Glass Castle. Walls family continuously demonstrates dysfunctional communication, and shows no signs of nurturing, which as I mentioned before, is why Walls does not look for an empathetic response from her readers. The book The Meaning of Relationship in Interpersonal Communication written by Richard L. Conville discusses many aspects of communicating well in relationships. While we see how poorly Walls communication was regarding her family, her ability to emotionally capture her audience s attention may seem puzzling. Persons in close

5 relationships tend to respond to their relationships emotionally (Conville, 109). Because Walls relationship with her family was not necessarily close, The Glass Castle shows her lack of emotional response. These generalized positive or negative effects can influence how a person perceives other communication (Conville, 109). Referring back to the social comparison theory, I personally view many of Walls experiences as dysfunctional, negative effects. Although I view them as negative, I remain dumbfounded by how positively she communicates her message. Previously I mentioned how Walls did not view her life as bad thing, it was simply her normal. Walls view her experiences as a positive journey that shaped her ability to compose The Glass Castle. Throughout The Glass Castle, I unconsciously continued to focus on Walls selfconcept. In Dr. Esposito s course self-concept is defined as a relatively stable set of perceptions each of us hold about ourselves (Esposito). The self-concept is fundamental to who we are, without this, it would be impossible to relate to the world (Esposito). Walls entire novel was focused on her self-concept. It attempted to define who she was, and who she is as a grown woman today. Walls self-concept is inspirational considering how she interpreted her dysfunctional lifestyle in such a positive light. The basis of self-concept is usually defined by our family members (Esposito). The online article titled The Self in Interpersonal Communication discusses self-awareness. Self-awareness is your knowledge of yourself; the extent to which you know who you are (Pearson). A useful way of looking at self-awareness is with the Johari window, which consists of four parts. The open self is information known to self and others. The blind self is information known only to others. The hidden self is

6 information known only to self (Pearson). And the unknown self: information known to neither self nor others. To increase self-awareness, ask yourself about yourself, listen to others, actively seek information about yourself, see your different selves, and increase your open self.